Abby,7-16, sex and fat pants

Abby,7-16, sex and fat pants

Posted in the Chicago Forum

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#2 Jul 16, 2014
DEAR ABBY: Help! My daughter just turned 13, and I need to discuss the facts of life with her. I don't know where to start.

My mom told me absolutely nothing, and I know my daughter needs to be educated in a simple but very understandable way -- especially in these times. Do you still have your booklet that gives teens answers to questions on sex? I need ideas on how to approach this.-- NERVOUS MOM IN ILLINOIS

DEAR NERVOUS MOM: Because many parents find the subject of sex embarrassing, they postpone discussing it with their children. When "the talk" finally happens, it is often too late. Their child's head is filled with information received from contemporaries, and often what they've heard is inaccurate.

Today, children are maturing years earlier than they did a generation ago. It's not unusual to hear about teens engaging in adult activities at much younger ages than teens of earlier generations. That is why it's so important for parents (and guardians) to begin discussions about alcohol, drugs and family values well before their children start experimenting. My booklet, "What Every Teen Should Know," was written to help parents break the ice and get the conversation going. It can be ordered by sending your name and address plus check or money order for 7 dollars (U.S. funds) to Dear Abby Teen Booklet, Post Office. Box 4 47, Mount Morris, IL 61 054. Shipping and handling are included in the price. You should review it before starting the discussion so you can prepare beforehand to answer questions or guide the conversation. My booklet provides answers to frequently asked questions, such as: How old must a girl be before she can get pregnant? Can she get pregnant the first time she has sex? What time of the month is a girl 100 percent safe? How old must a boy be before he can father a child?

Another important topic is how to avoid date rape and what to do if it happens. Included is information on contraception and sexually transmitted diseases (and how to recognize them). My booklet has been distributed in doctors' offices and used to promote discussion by educators and religious leaders, as well as parents like you who find it difficult to discuss these topics with their children.

DEAR ABBY: I recently started a summer job in the fitting room of a clothing store. Customers often ask me what I think about their outfits, and the most common question is, "Does this make me look fat?" How do I answer if the outfit does make the woman look fat? These women want honesty, but how do I avoid sounding rude?-- CONFLICTED IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR CONFLICTED: Try this: "The color is great on you. Let's get it in another size and it'll be perfect. Sometimes garments have been mismarked." (It's true.)
Cass

Rancho Cucamonga, CA

#3 Jul 16, 2014
LW1 - Your daughter is 13, and you still haven't talked to her about the "facts of life"??????? Oy. She already knows quite a bit, I assure you. Unfortunately, some of it can be quite wrong-headed. The average age of menarche in the U.S. is between 12 and 13, so some of your daughter's friends already have their periods, and she can start hers any time. If you have kept her completely in the dark, and by some weird chance she hasn't talked about it with her friends, it will scare the he11 out of her.

LW2 - That's a tough one. Abby, the size may not be at issue at all. What makes a woman look fat in a particular outfit is rarely the fact that she got it a size too small. It's the cut and the color.

I wear size 6, but when I put on a pencil skirt, my butt suddenly looks size 10. Not that size 10 is fat, but it is bigger than size 6. My figure is such that I look much better in A-line skirts than in pencil skirts. Also, the only shirts that don't make me look like a country wench are V-necks or deep Us. I can wear sleeveless shirts, but it is not advisable for the best look. So, if I put on a crew-neck sleeveless shirt, I look like a stocky peasant woman - not exactly the look I am going for. Yellow and orange colors exacerbate the appearance of stockiness. When I was larger (and I used to be size 14), the same style clothes made me look fat no matter how well they fit in terms of size.

Maybe the LW can say "You might try a [different style]. I think [color] is more your color." Etc.

Since: Nov 10

Blairsville, Ga

#4 Jul 16, 2014
Hello out there. tap tap tap SCREEEETCH. Can you hear me? OK, good. I am now holding this thread hostage. And will release it for 2 million, American, a Cessna twin engine airplane, three big bags of Gummi Bears®, a skanky Chicago girl, and a parachute. No, wait. Better make that TWO parachutes...

Since: Nov 10

Blairsville, Ga

#5 Jul 16, 2014
Soooooo......

......Come here often...

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#6 Jul 16, 2014
Cass wrote:
LW1 - Your daughter is 13, and you still haven't talked to her about the "facts of life"???????
.
Give her a break. At least she's trying. I'm 42 and have never talked to my parents about the facts of life. She's in the same boat.

Since: Nov 10

Blairsville, Ga

#7 Jul 16, 2014
Yeah yeah yeah. I know. Don't feed the trolls. Well, I'm a troll, and proud of it. Come from a long line of trolls. My pappy was a troll, and his pappy before him. My great grandrat, RILEY O'RAT, was, in fact, an OT. Original Troll. Course, that was back before the internet, when you had to manually write some crap on a piece of paper, put it in an envelope, put a stamp on it, and then mail it out. And then hope someone read it. Yessiree, BillyBob. RILEY O'RAT, one of the original OT's...

Since: Nov 10

Blairsville, Ga

#8 Jul 16, 2014
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>Give her a break. At least she's trying. I'm 42 and have never talked to my parents about the facts of life. She's in the same boat.
Ummmmmm, E X C U U U S E me, now just WHAAAT IN THE HALE does that have to do with what I was talking about...

Since: Nov 10

Blairsville, Ga

#9 Jul 16, 2014
People, PULEEEESE, let's try and stay on topic!!

Since: Nov 10

Blairsville, Ga

#10 Jul 16, 2014
RICKY RAT wrote:
Yessiree, BillyBob. RILEY O'RAT, one of the original OT's...
Came to the States in aught four. In the bilge section of the SS Lusitania. In fact, besides being an OT, he also was credited with popularizing the "Irish Need Not Apply" signs that you saw back then...
pde

Bothell, WA

#11 Jul 16, 2014
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>Give her a break. At least she's trying. I'm 42 and have never talked to my parents about the facts of life. She's in the same boat.
I just sincerely hope her 13-year-old was in a school system which did the typical preliminary sex education in 3rd or 4th grade, and she allowed her daughter to participate in it.

Even back when I was in grammar school, I felt kind of sorry and weirded out by the parents who refused to let their kids participate in sex ed. Those always were the kids who already had bat sh crazy ideas about sex and you knew that nobody else, including their parents, was giving them any real information.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#12 Jul 16, 2014
pde wrote:
<quoted text>
I just sincerely hope her 13-year-old was in a school system which did the typical preliminary sex education in 3rd or 4th grade, and she allowed her daughter to participate in it.
Even back when I was in grammar school, I felt kind of sorry and weirded out by the parents who refused to let their kids participate in sex ed. Those always were the kids who already had bat sh crazy ideas about sex and you knew that nobody else, including their parents, was giving them any real information.
3rd or 4th? Sex ed for me was not until 7th grade.
Kuuipo

Marina, CA

#13 Jul 16, 2014
LW1: Seriously? I hope you told her about her monthly cycle before she started bleeding and didn't know why. Having that conversation with your kids is part of your job as a parent. Think of it like potty training or teaching your child to walk or talk. You don't want your child's only source of information on the topic to be her peer group. I totally agree w/pde, I hope this poor teen is getting some information in her school.

LW2: "Oh the sizes in that brand run small. Let me get you a size up, it will be much more comfortable, and still fit well after you wash it."
pde

Bothell, WA

#14 Jul 16, 2014
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>3rd or 4th? Sex ed for me was not until 7th grade.
Are you serious?

I went to Catholic school 1st until 5th, and public school 6th and 7th.

Introductory sex ed at Catholic school was 3rd, with 4th and 5th being more detailed. Those years were mainly about the biology of sex and human reproduction. In 6th and 7th in my public school we had "health" class which introduced me (at least) to various concepts including birth control.

How does any sane school wait until 7th for basic sexual education? At that point, a decent percentage of the girls will have already entered puberty and have their period.
pde

Bothell, WA

#15 Jul 16, 2014
(I also know that my kid's public school will include introductory sexual education next year as part of 3rd grade health class ... they sent home the details at the end of 2nd grade.)

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#16 Jul 17, 2014
pde wrote:
<quoted text>
Are you serious?
I went to Catholic school 1st until 5th, and public school 6th and 7th.
Introductory sex ed at Catholic school was 3rd, with 4th and 5th being more detailed. Those years were mainly about the biology of sex and human reproduction. In 6th and 7th in my public school we had "health" class which introduced me (at least) to various concepts including birth control.
How does any sane school wait until 7th for basic sexual education? At that point, a decent percentage of the girls will have already entered puberty and have their period.
I had 1 year. Maybe even just one semester.

Just looked up the county curricilum today.
5th grade - Always changing puberty
6th grade - abstinence
7h grade - healthy relationships
8th grade - std's
pde

Bothell, WA

#17 Jul 17, 2014
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>I had 1 year. Maybe even just one semester.
Just looked up the county curricilum today.
5th grade - Always changing puberty
6th grade - abstinence
7h grade - healthy relationships
8th grade - std's
Well, at least that seems to be a bit more information.

But I do have to recollect that the textbook company I used to work for put the human reproduction and biology chapter at the end of the high school biology book not because that was where it logically belonged, but because that made it easy to chop that chapter out when selling those textbooks books to Texas.
not a ghost

San Antonio, TX

#18 Jul 17, 2014
I'll bet some other kids told LW1's daughter the facts of life already.
But thanks for a reminder of a cute joke I can take to best jokes.

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