“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#1 Jan 9, 2014
DEAR AMY: It was extremely troubling to me to read about the attitude of the "young and ambitious" attorney who trashed her secretary on Facebook (referenced in the letter from "Flummoxed").

I am the managing partner of a small law firm. I am pleased that this attorney does not work for (or with) me. Prior to being with my firm, I was a consultant with several large firms and the CEO of a small corporation.

Law firms, like most other organizations, are collaborative endeavors with success dependent on everyone's efforts. It appears that this young attorney sees herself as a shining star, owing any success to no one but herself.

She may find herself on her own sooner than she anticipated, as I can't imagine any firm wanting to retain or hire a person with such a toxic attitude. She will then be her own support staff (heaven help anyone she hires) and will find out just how much her former firm's support staff assisted her in her success. Only then will she begin to appreciate how important the people surrounding her are.

Anyone who describes anyone else as "just a (fill in the blank)" is reflecting their own ignorance and insecurities. Everyone in an organization plays an important role in that organization's success and they are deserving of their dignity. Those who would rob anyone of their dignity deserve to be shown the door.-- Alan in Walnut Creek, Calif.

DEAR ALAN: This attorney's arrogance and public humiliation of her support staff on Facebook appalled some of her family members -- and many readers.

Thank you for an eloquent explanation of just how vital cooperation is in any successful venture.

DEAR AMY: I felt the need to respond to the letter from "Frustrated," who stated that her son was "gender queer" and was concerned about his attire at a restaurant. While your advice to the mother was sound, I felt your advice to the son -- that he "grow up and quit sulking" -- was insulting and ignorant.

I am the aunt of someone who identifies as gender queer. Being truly gender queer is not a political or fashion statement -- it is an expression of one's true identity.

My "nibling," the gender-neutral term for nephew or niece, is neither male nor female, but both. Just as I prefer to wear a skirt and heels and express the feminine side of myself, so does my nibling. My nibling sports a beard and a spectacular (and enviable) wardrobe of dresses. Just as I would have the good sense not to wear a barely there sequined mini to a conservative restaurant, so would my nibling.

The process of coming out as gender queer was long and difficult, and my nibling struggled with years of unhappiness and feeling uncomfortable in "their" own skin.(There is currently no satisfactory gender-neutral term for his or her.) The decision to express himself/herself openly, despite the reactions and repercussions, was an act of real bravery. As a family, we have all stood behind my nibling; everyone deserves to be able to be who they are.-- Proud Aunt

DEAR AUNT: Your "nibling" is fortunate to have your support. But I stand behind my basic advice to a 24-year-old who seems to have embroiled his mother in his choices of what to wear: Grow up. Stand up. Wear what you want and prepare yourself for the impact on others. Be respectful of people and situations. In short, I'm describing the sort of bravery you say your family member demonstrates.

DEAR AMY: I could not believe your response to the letter from "Sober," whose neighbor, "Brandy" got drunk and disorderly. You called it "sexual assault!"

A man should call the cops for having his hair pulled by a woman? Your advice is extreme in almost any circumstance. I'm pretty sure that "Sober" is dying to know if there is even a remote chance that "Brandy" is interested in him!-- Bob

DEAR BOB: Yes. Being pulled into a bedroom by your hair and having a kiss forced upon you is sexual assault, no matter the gender of the perpetrator.
Cass

Claremont, CA

#2 Jan 9, 2014
Sigh. Both Abby and Amy are rehashes today. Well, that'll help me concentrate on work instead of Topix.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#3 Jan 9, 2014
1 You've done so much, but your have failed at all your endeavors. Your jealous.

2 Gender queer is no a real term, neither is nibling. Your simply enabling and pandering to someone who cant make up their mind and is an attention w0re.

3 Who wants more than a casual thing from a neighbor that gets drunk and horny on you....Oh, wait a minute...
Pippa

Hancock, NY

#4 Jan 9, 2014
1: I agree wholeheartedly with this lw. I've known teachers who have "looked down" on the janitorial staff members in their school. I said these people are worth their weight in gold. My daughter who is an attorney told her secretary at her previous job that if she ever wanted a reference, she'd write a wonderful one for her. She told me this woman worked late or even came in after she went home to prepare meals for her family when my daughter had important deadlines to meet. The secretary was a great help to her. At our local school, the secretary at the main office was the greatest. She seemed to handle every thing. I told her more than once that I thought she was the one running the school. I really don't think the school could run without her.

2: I don't really care. All people deserve respect regardless of their gender identity. But all people, regardless of their gender identity, need to respect others and to be responsible for their own decisions. Parents stop being responsible for their kids once those kids are adults. They need to let their kids stand on their own two feet regardless of those children's gender identities.

3: I agree with Amy. It is sexual assault. The first time, the intoxicated person may not realize what they're doing but certainly once they've been told, they have no excuse the next time (if you could even say that being drunk is an excuse but I don't buy that one).

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

#5 Jan 9, 2014
Didn't know there was actually a term for a cross dressing nephew!

Read in a Yahoo article there's a group of college students, about five strong, and their mission is to get gender neutral pronouns added to the dictionary. Like, for example "zee" would refer to an effeminate gay male. This sht is just getting ridiculous.
Blunt Advice

Suffern, NY

#6 Jan 9, 2014
1. Watching what you post on FB is a no brainer.
2. Whether you are gay, cross gender, or whatever.....there is an abundance of gender neutral apparel that can be purchased. A plain ol black suit with a white collared shirt can be accesorized to fit any formal or conservative occasion without making yourself the center of attention. Oh and there are these things called jeans and t shirts worn by males and females for years.
3. How about just stop inviting Brandy places. Jeez. These rehashes are making me want to drink more than she does.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#7 Jan 9, 2014
edogxxx wrote:
Didn't know there was actually a term for a cross dressing nephew!
Read in a Yahoo article there's a group of college students, about five strong, and their mission is to get gender neutral pronouns added to the dictionary. Like, for example "zee" would refer to an effeminate gay male. This sht is just getting ridiculous.
Oh yeah?

How about Ms?

FWIW, Wikitionary defines nibling as
A nephew or niece, especially in the plural or as a gender-neutral term.

Etymology
Coined by linguist Samuel E. Martin in 1951 from nephew/niece by analogy with sibling.

It has been around as long as I have

(Am I the only one who googles things around here?)

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#8 Jan 9, 2014
LW1:ďI can't imagine any firm wanting to retain or hire a person with such a toxic attitude.Ē

I donít know where this attorney has come from, but Iíve run across more than a few a-hole attorneys who are not good people.

LW2: <barf> Does one have to be open and express himself everywhere? No he doesnít.

LW3: If there is no interest in the woman, it's sexual assault. If she's smoking hot and there is interest, it's hawt!

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#9 Jan 9, 2014
LW1: Yeah, yeah. All us non-azzholes already know this.

LW2: Geez, dig you panties out of your taint already. RACE is right, the kid from the original letter was an attention wh0re. He would have pulled the same kind of BS regardless of his gender identification.

LW3: We often can't believe her responses either.

“On Deck”

Since: Aug 08

French Polynesia

#10 Jan 9, 2014
L1. I once knew of a lawyer who said he felt the need to fire someone once every three months or so.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#11 Jan 9, 2014
Good thing he wasnt a murderer.
loose cannon wrote:
L1. I once knew of a lawyer who said he felt the need to fire someone once every three months or so.
Kuuipo

Monterey, CA

#12 Jan 9, 2014
Blunt Advice summed all 3 up nicely today.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#13 Jan 9, 2014
There is a discussion on another website about anonymous postings which were breached.

Take way point: if it is on the internet a nd someone wants to know badly enough, nothing, but nothing is anonymous. Not throwaway names, not spoof ISP's, not credit card numbers posted with the little lock symbol that is supposedly safe,not things which you think you have deleted, nothing.

Proceed accordingly
Blunt Advice

Suffern, NY

#14 Jan 9, 2014
Kuuipo wrote:
Blunt Advice summed all 3 up nicely today.
why thank you!
Another thing that's ironic is that if a guy wants to dress like a woman then why the heck does he need to wear a dress? So few women wear them anymore.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

#15 Jan 9, 2014
RACE wrote:
Your simply enabling and pandering to someone
The aunt shouldn't be such an enibler!

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#16 Jan 9, 2014
she's prolly inebriated!
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
The aunt shouldn't be such an enibler!

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