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1 - 20 of 27 Comments Last updated Dec 7, 2013
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“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

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#1
Dec 6, 2013
 
DEAR ABBY: My parents and sister live three hours away, so my family stays with me when they come to town. Over the last few years, I noticed things began to disappear from my home. They are usually small and portable -- earrings, in particular.

The idea of someone stealing from me was very upsetting. When I mentioned it to my sister, she suggested that it could be our housekeeper.

After my wedding band vanished, I had a security camera installed. A few months later, two more pairs of earrings went MIA, so I had the surveillance company review the tapes. It turns out the thief is my sister!

The idea that she has gone through my things and helped herself with no remorse after I opened my home to her disgusts me. When I confronted her, she denied it. She later told my mother that she did take the earrings, but didn't know why I wanted them "because they were so ugly."

Christmas is coming and I can no longer welcome her to my home. Why would she do this to me?-- TRUSTED MY SISTER IN RALEIGH, N.C.

DEAR TRUSTED: Not knowing your sister, I can't say for certain why she would steal from you. She may have kleptomania and be unable to control her impulses. Or, she may resent you for what she perceives you have that she doesn't (a happy life, lovely home, etc.) and has been taking the items to "even things up."

While I don't blame you for being upset, please understand that whatever her reason, she's a troubled woman who needs help. Unless you lock up anything of value, she should not be in your home.

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DEAR ABBY: We are part of a group of couples who meet monthly at one another's homes to play cards. We usually play in the evening from 7 to 11 with the hosting couple providing light refreshments and dessert. Many years ago, one couple designated December as "their" month to celebrate New Year's Eve. We start earlier with a meal and end after midnight.

The issue is that it has lost its appeal. Many of us would prefer not to be out on that particular night. How do we, as a group, let them know we no longer want to have game night on New Year's Eve without hurting their feelings? They tend to be a sensitive couple.-- PARTIED OUT IN OREGON

DEAR PARTIED OUT: Unless one of you is willing to be the messenger and speak for the rest of you, you should tell this couple as a group -- well before the end of the year -- that you would prefer not to be out on a night when many of the drivers on the road have been drinking. It's a valid reason.

While the New Year's Eve card game may have become a tradition, times change, and as people mature they tend to make more mature decisions. The one you're making ranks high among them.

P.S. There should be no hurt feelings if you suggest that the card game take place at some other time.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 58-year-old male. My wife divorced me last year after 33 years of marriage. Must I wait the recommended seven years before dating? I heard I must wait one year for every five I was married.-- READY OR NOT IN MICHIGAN

DEAR READY OR NOT: I wonder where you heard that! The answer is no. At 58, you had better start soon. You're not getting any younger.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#2
Dec 6, 2013
 
1 Your sister stole your wedding band? Thats just creepy. Either lock your doors, or put bells on her.

2 Bunch of grown azz adults too chicken to stand up for themselves.

3 I bet your x told you that, and you believed it. What a maroon.

Since: Aug 08

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#3
Dec 6, 2013
 

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LW1: Tell her you want all your stuff back or you go to the police and donít allow her in your home again.

LW2: Use your words.

LW3: 7 years? I think you are going to have a hard time finding a woman who wants to date someone as dopey as you.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

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#4
Dec 6, 2013
 
L1 What Sublime said. Show her the security tape. Even so I would not let her in my house again unless I was prepared to have a monitor accompany her to the bathroom.

L2 Offer an alternate night to New Years

L3. Is there some sort of cultural thing going on here?

Michigan has a large Muslim population.

Its not as if Mom died and her memory needs to be honored.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

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#5
Dec 6, 2013
 
LW1: And you just let her get away with denying it? You didn't show her the tape and call her out right then and there? No wonder why she thought she could take stuff from you.

I suspect she is jealous of your wealth.

LW2: Well, it seems a little late to be doing anything about it this year. So during the party, bring up the subject of next year's party and suggest it be done on a different night in December. I'm sure your reasons have to do with being out and driving late on a notoriously bad night for drunk drivers, and others will agree with you. If the hosts can't see that their guests feel endangered, then maybe they shouldn't be hosts.

LW3: Wait, is that calculated in dog years?

“On Deck”

Since: Aug 08

French Polynesia

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#6
Dec 6, 2013
 
L2. I usually work on the holidays, but I get out of there at 11:3o on the dot.
It's a great excuse. I use it all the time.

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

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#7
Dec 6, 2013
 
L1: Get a copy of the tape and play it at Christmas. Heh. Not really. You should have had a talk with your sister immediately after you found out. Do it now.

L2: This is beyond comprehension that you cannot think of a nice way of saying, "Let's pick another date for the New Year's Eve get together. The late night just doesn't work for many of us now with the crazy drivers on the road."

L3: Yes. Yes. You must wait for 7 years. It's for good luck.(sarcasm)

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

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#8
Dec 6, 2013
 

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PEllen wrote:
L3. Is there some sort of cultural thing going on here?
Michigan has a large Muslim population.
Its not as if Mom died and her memory needs to be honored.
If he was Muslim, he would have honor-killed his wife, not let her divorce him

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

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#9
Dec 6, 2013
 
PEllen wrote:
L1 What Sublime said. Show her the security tape. Even so I would not let her in my house again unless I was prepared to have a monitor accompany her to the bathroom.
L2 Offer an alternate night to New Years
L3. Is there some sort of cultural thing going on here?
Michigan has a large Muslim population.
Its not as if Mom died and her memory needs to be honored.
lw3: if this was a muslim thing, he would not be asking abby

Since: Jun 09

Saint Petersburg, FL

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#10
Dec 6, 2013
 
LW1: Team Sub

LW3: I have never heard of such a crazy thing!

Since: Aug 08

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#11
Dec 6, 2013
 

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edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
If he was Muslim, he would have honor-killed his wife, not let her divorce him
Way to spew ignorance. A person just as ignorant as you would infer that all Christians are all like Branch Davidians and live in compounds and worship some nut job.

Since: Aug 08

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#12
Dec 6, 2013
 

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Stina2 wrote:
LW1: Team Sub
I don't understand why Abby says "unless you lock up anything of value..." Your own home should not be a place where you have to lock things up and worry about family or friends stealing your stuff. If you know someone is stealing from you, it is much better to take a stand and tell someone they are persona non grata in your home. Some folks have a problem with establishing boundaries and must be nice at all costs, apparently. I don't agree with that.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

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#13
Dec 6, 2013
 

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Sublime1 wrote:
<quoted text>
Way to spew ignorance. A person just as ignorant as you would infer that all Christians are all like Branch Davidians and live in compounds and worship some nut job.
Yeah except there's been more incidences of Muslim mercy killings than incidences of Branch Davidians, so, no.

Since: Aug 08

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#14
Dec 6, 2013
 
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Yeah except there's been more incidences of Muslim mercy killings than incidences of Branch Davidians, so, no.
It's still a small, small, minority of Muslims. You sound ignorant to suggest that this is the norm. Do you even know any Muslims on a personal level? Have you ever been friends with any?

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

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#15
Dec 6, 2013
 

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Sublime1 wrote:
Do you even know any Muslims on a personal level? Have you ever been friends with any?
Not sure what that has to do with anything but yeah, more muslims DON'T kill than do. So what? That's true for all walks of life. Yet one is ignorant for stating the truth. Of course, ALL Christians are Bible thumpers and homophobes. THAT stereotype is perfectly acceptable. Get off your sanctimonious high horse

Since: Aug 08

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#16
Dec 6, 2013
 

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edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Yet one is ignorant for stating the truth.
"If he was Muslim, he would have honor-killed his wife, not let her divorce him."

^^^ that's not the truth.
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>Of course, ALL Christians are Bible thumpers and homophobes. THAT stereotype is perfectly acceptable. Get off your sanctimonious high horse
Who said that's perfectly acceptable. I know lots of Christians who aren't bible thumpers and homophobes. Although there are more Christian bible thumpers and homophobes than there are muslims who honor kill or approve of it.
Blunt Advice

New York, NY

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#17
Dec 6, 2013
 

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1. Tell sis that unless she returns everything she has stolen that the entire family will see the tapes. On you tube.
2. Play cards another night.
3. A year when widowed. When divorced you can date immediately.
Kuuipo

Monterey, CA

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#18
Dec 6, 2013
 
LW1: Team Sublime.

LW2: I love a good party, but New Year's Eve is for amateurs. A couple that I know throw a New Year's Eve Eve party on Dec. 30 every year. Suggest that.

LW3: I don't know where he heard that, but I did read something that suggested that one month for every year that you've been together is an appropriate amount of time to wait. But for LW, that's still waaaay too long. It's been a year already. Start now.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

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#19
Dec 6, 2013
 
Blunt Advice wrote:
3. A year when widowed. When divorced you can date immediately.
You seem so confident in your answer. Where can I get a copy of your rule book.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#20
Dec 6, 2013
 
I think Jews mourn for a year, then carry on.
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>You seem so confident in your answer. Where can I get a copy of your rule book.

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