“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#21 Mar 26, 2014
RACE wrote:
Hey, how come you aint tapping Maryann? You gay or something?
<quoted text>
I'm busy with Ginger. And discreet

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#22 Mar 26, 2014
RACE wrote:
Well professor, let me put it to you this way...
I never said to get rid of the pages, I said that amby glossed over the guys feelings and said he had to simply "accept" that the wife can do whatever without regards to the husbands feelings.
She would never(I believe) say that if the genders were reversed, instead she would say that the husband should cede to the wifes feelings and consider if keeping the written word was more important than his marriage.
Hey, how come you aint tapping Maryann? You gay or something?
<quoted text>
Sexist cause you think she would give different advice to a woman. Ok. I'll by that. So you have no problem with the advice itself, correct?

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

#23 Mar 26, 2014
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text> Sexist cause you think she would give different advice to a woman. Ok. I'll by that. So you have no problem with the advice itself, correct?
She wouldn't give that advice if the genders were reversed. So yeah, the advice is sexist and crap

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#24 Mar 26, 2014
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
She wouldn't give that advice if the genders were reversed. So yeah, the advice is sexist and crap
Wait, now you're confusing me. You agree with the advice. You said you are not suggesting getting rif of the pages and he needs to deal woth his lingering issues. Same as abby. I get that you don't think she would give a woman the same advice. That 2 faced-edness is sexist. But the advice itself, why are you saying its crap after semingly suggesting the same?

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

#25 Mar 26, 2014
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>Wait, now you're confusing me. You agree with the advice. You said you are not suggesting getting rif of the pages and he needs to deal woth his lingering issues. Same as abby. I get that you don't think she would give a woman the same advice. That 2 faced-edness is sexist. But the advice itself, why are you saying its crap after semingly suggesting the same?
I do NOT agree with the advice, I DO agree the journal should not be ripped apart, as that wouldn't really solve anything. If the genders were reversed, I would not suggest the woman simply stop reading the journal and seek counseling. Obviously, the affair ITSELF is what caused this man's distress and THAT is what needs to be dealt with, most likely with couples counseling. The journal itself is rather irrelevant at this point. Forget the dam journal. Sorry to confuse you "professor," try to keep up

Since: Oct 09

York, NE

#26 Mar 26, 2014
LW1: Wow, Abby, way to subtly man bash. I can just imagine what your response would have been had the LW been a wife instead of a husband. Guess what? Men are hurt by affairs, physical or emotional, too, and they deserve the same consideration you always give the women.

I can see where he's coming from with the journal. To him, her not wanting to excise the parts where she waxes romantic about another man, and not her husband, is disrespectful of his feelings and her dismissive attitude is that much more disrespectful.

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#27 Mar 26, 2014
Incorrect.
Here is her advice...
instead of insisting she edit or destroy her journal, my advice is to stop reading it.

I believe that is terrible advice, and it totally invalidates the guy's emotions over not only the affair, but his feelings about how it is now recorded for all eternity.

I believe a more proper answer is the one I suggested she WOULD have given had the LW been a female. That answer promotes dialogue, and would help the couple heal.
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text> Sexist cause you think she would give different advice to a woman. Ok. I'll by that. So you have no problem with the advice itself, correct?

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#28 Mar 26, 2014
Not a chance, Ginger likes riding "Captain Beer Belly".
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text> I'm busy with Ginger. And discreet

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#29 Mar 26, 2014
"Judge Janie" for Supreme Court!
Judge Janie wrote:
LW1: Wow, Abby, way to subtly man bash. I can just imagine what your response would have been had the LW been a wife instead of a husband. Guess what? Men are hurt by affairs, physical or emotional, too, and they deserve the same consideration you always give the women.
I can see where he's coming from with the journal. To him, her not wanting to excise the parts where she waxes romantic about another man, and not her husband, is disrespectful of his feelings and her dismissive attitude is that much more disrespectful.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#30 Mar 26, 2014
I believe "stop reading it" is perfect advice though incomplete. She should have been more inclusive in the counselling part, as in marriage counselling for them both, to work on communication so he would not feel he need to read and/or refer continually to the journal.

The letter really did read as if the journal was his only problem. Having it written down.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#31 Mar 26, 2014
Toj wrote:
I believe "stop reading it" is perfect advice though incomplete. She should have been more inclusive in the counselling part, as in marriage counselling for them both, to work on communication so he would not feel he need to read and/or refer continually to the journal.
The letter really did read as if the journal was his only problem. Having it written down.
This is what I said: he's fixating on the journal when in fact that is not the root of his problem. It's easier for him to point at the words and insist that the pages be removed instead of facing the real problems in his marriage.
Kuuipo

Marina, CA

#32 Mar 26, 2014
LW1: I agree that LW needs to get counseling to stop stewing about something that happened 8 years ago. Seriously. Eight years. LW needs to put the past in the past. And LW's wife should be able to put whatever she wants in her private journal, IMHO. It is her story, with all of its flaws, imperfections, and truths.

LW2: Hotsy-totsy one nighter type? Really? And why do you feel the need to explain anything to strangers? Or casual acquaintances? You are effectively the only parent this child has left, so clearly you are doing the right thing. And perhaps this child is helping you to gain a measure of maturity.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#33 Mar 26, 2014
Toj wrote:
I believe "stop reading it" is perfect advice though incomplete. She should have been more inclusive in the counselling part, as in marriage counselling for them both, to work on communication so he would not feel he need to read and/or refer continually to the journal.
The letter really did read as if the journal was his only problem. Having it written down.
Yes. All this.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#34 Mar 26, 2014
Kuuipo wrote:
LW2: Hotsy-totsy one nighter type? Really? And why do you feel the need to explain anything to strangers? Or casual acquaintances? You are effectively the only parent this child has left, so clearly you are doing the right thing. And perhaps this child is helping you to gain a measure of maturity.
The dude is 47. Was with the same woman for 6 years until she died. What makes you think he was lacking in maturity?

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#35 Mar 26, 2014
If its incomplete, it cannot be perfect,
Toj wrote:
I believe "stop reading it" is perfect advice though incomplete. She should have been more inclusive in the counselling part, as in marriage counselling for them both, to work on communication so he would not feel he need to read and/or refer continually to the journal.
The letter really did read as if the journal was his only problem. Having it written down.

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#36 Mar 26, 2014
Maybe the guy should just burn his house down while his wife is out, then the book gets destroyed, and nobody can complain.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#37 Mar 26, 2014
RACE wrote:
If its incomplete, it cannot be perfect,
<quoted text>
So nothing is perfect.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#38 Mar 26, 2014
RACE wrote:
If its incomplete, it cannot be perfect,
<quoted text>
But it did answer the specific question he asked. Should she get rid of the journal.

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#39 Mar 26, 2014
It was "An" answer, not a "Perfect" answer. I likewise answered the question, so I dont see you're point.
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>But it did answer the specific question he asked. Should she get rid of the journal.

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#40 Mar 26, 2014
Backpedaling so soon?
You clearly stated that the answer amy/abby gave was indeed "perfect"
So, how do you reconcile this contradiction?
Toj wrote:
<quoted text>
So nothing is perfect.

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