First Prev
of 2
Next Last

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#1 Jun 13, 2014
DEAR ABBY: I'm a married father with a son 19 months old, and a baby girl on the way. While I couldn't be more excited about my daughter's impending arrival, I'm unsure about whether there is a right time to stop doing things like changing a diaper or seeing my daughter unclothed because she's a girl and I'm not.

I come from a conservative family, but because this is a new experience for me, I'm not sure how to go about it. I know this dynamic changes when these roles are occupied by a mother and her son, and that a little boy is probably older by the time the transition occurs. I don't want to end up in a position where my wife or daughter regrets my involvement in some aspects of my daughter's life. Any thoughts?-- EXPECTANT DAD IN NEW YORK

DEAR EXPECTANT DAD: Fathers have become far more involved in child-rearing in recent years than they were in generations past, and it's a wonderful thing. You should not be worried that changing your daughter's diapers or giving her a bath will scar her emotionally. In fact, the opposite is true. Discuss this with your wife and your daughter's pediatrician, and I'm sure they will allay your fears.

As to when you should stop seeing your daughter unclothed, you have years before that may become necessary. As she becomes aware of her changing body, she will probably let you know, or her mother will. This is a cultural thing. Some families practice a naturist lifestyle without anyone being "damaged" by it.

DEAR ABBY: I have been working as a desk clerk at a motel in Montana for several years. With travel season here, I was hoping you could help your readers who find themselves on the road to avoid sleepless nights and headaches.

Several times a year many of the accommodations on the interstate can be fully booked due to weather or local events, and travelers are sometimes forced to drive several hundred miles to find a room for the night. You can help your readers by reminding them that they should start checking on motel occupancy early in the day, or even the day before, if they know where they would like to stop for the night. That way, situations like this can be avoided, and they will have a more enjoyable and relaxing trip.-- ON THE ROAD AGAIN

DEAR ON THE ROAD: Thank you for the suggestion. Many of my readers take road trips during the summer months, and I hope they'll remember your letter before they start the ignition and head for the highways.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#2 Jun 13, 2014
1- Uh, you can stop seeing her unclothed when she's old enough to dress and bathe herself. Weirdo

2- Yeah, this happened to me once. You mean EVERY SINGLE ROOM in your hotel is booked?? I'm traveling across the country, I don't know when or where I'm gonna stop for the night. Didn't think there would be some trucker convention at the Motel 8 in BFE

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#3 Jun 13, 2014
1 Dude, you're overthinking this. Your kid will let you know when she's ready, just like your son will.

2 With today's electronics, you can do this while still on the road.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#4 Jun 13, 2014
1.I'm with Race and Dog on this, unless the guy knows he has some latent pedo impulses that he is keeping tightly under control, but that's pretty far out.

Anyone want to bet he has never seen his wife naked and was not in the delivery room hen his son was born?

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#5 Jun 13, 2014
PEllen wrote:
unless the guy knows he has some latent pedo impulses that he is keeping tightly under control, but that's pretty far out.
I don't think it's that far out. The kid isn't even born yet and he's asking about the appropriateness of seeing her naked

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#6 Jun 13, 2014
You change your daughters diapers until she no longer needs to wear them. It's not that complicated.

Since: Dec 07

DuPage County

#7 Jun 13, 2014
1. What kind of whackadoodle parents did you have? Relax and rest assured that you are expected to be a parent to your children ya' nutjob.

2. Yeah yeah yeah
blunt advice

Brooklyn, NY

#8 Jun 13, 2014
1. Sometime after she is fully bathroom trained and can dress herself like maybe 4 or 5. All depends on the individuals and the family. I have to agree PEllen has a point he has probably never seen wife naked and probably grew up sheltered and modest.
2. Years ago I worked as a travel agent for a well known auto club which many people join for towing should they need it. But they also had and still have a full service travel agency which helps travelers plan road trips and will even make motel reservations at recommended stopping points. And technology has improved since the 29 something years ago I worked there. You can even route your trip from your own computer.
pde

Bothell, WA

#9 Jun 13, 2014
edogxxx wrote:
1- Uh, you can stop seeing her unclothed when she's old enough to dress and bathe herself. Weirdo
2- Yeah, this happened to me once. You mean EVERY SINGLE ROOM in your hotel is booked?? I'm traveling across the country, I don't know when or where I'm gonna stop for the night. Didn't think there would be some trucker convention at the Motel 8 in BFE
It's not really BFE if the hotel is located near I-90 or I-94 in Montana.(Particularly after those two interstates merge together and become one.) It's hard as heck to find a hotel room in the Butte/Bozeman/Billings area with no notice during the middle of the summer. Too many Yellowstone tourists.

And during Sturgis, good luck finding anything spur of the moment in Wyoming or South Dakota either.

Since: Dec 07

DuPage County

#10 Jun 13, 2014
pde wrote:
<quoted text>It's not really BFE if the hotel is located near I-90 or I-94 in Montana.(Particularly after those two interstates merge together and become one.) It's hard as heck to find a hotel room in the Butte/Bozeman/Billings area with no notice during the middle of the summer. Too many Yellowstone tourists.

And during Sturgis, good luck finding anything spur of the moment in Wyoming or South Dakota either.
What kills me is that in this day and age people must know they have to reserve rooms, but I'm sure there are loads of idjits that just hit the road and count on luck to find available rooms.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

#11 Jun 13, 2014
Saluki Rod wrote:
<quoted text>
What kills me is that in this day and age people must know they have to reserve rooms, but I'm sure there are loads of idjits that just hit the road and count on luck to find available rooms.
I shouldn't have to reserve a room at motel 6

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#12 Jun 13, 2014
L1: They're out of diapers before 4 years old. I don't understand why this man is handwringing over this.
L2: That's what makes smart phones and tablets great on trips.
pde

Bothell, WA

#13 Jun 13, 2014
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
I shouldn't have to reserve a room at motel 6
If you're headed to a tourist popular area during high season, you're going to have to. And that stretch of the US is large swaths of BFE (with no hotels whatsoever) interrupted by cities with major tourist attractions vaguely nearby (Badlands, Rushmore, Yellowstone, Glacier).

And those cities are mainly seasonal. During the winter, you drive through some of that area and even the major hotels may just be completely closed for the season. We had to be in Cheyenne in late October for a wedding one year. We drove out via I-80 and then decided to come back via I-90 and stop at Mt. Rushmore on the way. We didn't figure that there would be a problem getting a hotel room in Rapid City (it's directly on I-90).

Well, we were wrong. Because most of the hotels and restaurants were shut down for the season, and the few that were open were full up.

It was actually really weird. It was a decent enough 50 degree day, and we drove into Mt. Rushmore and the gates were just open, we were the only tourists there in the time we spent there. There was someone working in the gift shop, and she told us she'd seen maybe 5 people all day.

We drive down into Rapid City and it was just a ghost town. With no hotel rooms available. We finally ended up at this really seedy motor lodge place.

Since: Oct 09

Spearfish, SD

#14 Jun 13, 2014
pde wrote:
<quoted text>

And during Sturgis, good luck finding anything spur of the moment in Wyoming or South Dakota either.
Try being a renter in the Rapid City/Black Hills area during the Sturgis rally. Thousands of renters are required to leave their rental apartments/houses/hotel rooms for often the last week of July and nearly the entire month of August (the rally has begun to stretch far beyond just a week now and beyond Sturgis borders into the entire Hills area). It doesn't matter if they have no place to go, all the landlords see are dollar signs.

While I no longer live in the area (even though I still live in South Dakota), my first summer in Rapid City ten years ago (coming from Ohio) was a rude awakening to this fact. I was renting a hotel room while searching for an apartment and was required to leave the room for a month. Fortunately I didn't have to join some other tenants under a bridge because a co-worker who owned her home invited me and other displaced renters to stay in her home for the duration of the rally. There's a reason, besides horrendous noise, crowding, increased costs of law enforcement and infrastructure, and often drunken, rude behavior by many of the bikers, why so many locals hate the rally.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#15 Jun 13, 2014
Saluki Rod wrote:
<quoted text>
What kills me is that in this day and age people must know they have to reserve rooms, but I'm sure there are loads of idjits that just hit the road and count on luck to find available rooms.
Not everyone plans their trips out to the second. I had a ski trip a few years ago and it was far enough away that we knew we would stop at some point for the night, but did not know how far we'd get before we decided to stop for the night. Made our decision based on the interstate billboard advertising free wifi. Had 2 hotels off that exit. Called both from the road. Had there been no vacancy, would have just kept driving.

I have some friends who took 2 separate trips, one to Alaska and one out west. No reservations. Just diving from here to there. Stopping wherever they felt. Staying in town until they felt they had seen enough.# of days in town varied on their whims.
I only wish i had the time and freedom to join them
pde

Bothell, WA

#16 Jun 13, 2014
Judge Janie wrote:
<quoted text>
There's a reason, besides horrendous noise, crowding, increased costs of law enforcement and infrastructure, and often drunken, rude behavior by many of the bikers, why so many locals hate the rally.
We were planning to AVOID the area because we knew we were going to be coming back through during Strugis, by taking I-94 back.

Then on the way out, my husband left something important in a restaurant in Wall. They were nice enough to hold it for them, but it meant we had to go back via I-90.

Hundreds of miles of bikers riding in either very slow or very fast packs on I-90, refusing to let cars pass, doing stupid stuff around the cars ... and no hotel rooms available.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#17 Jun 13, 2014
pde wrote:
<quoted text>
We were planning to AVOID the area because we knew we were going to be coming back through during Strugis, by taking I-94 back.
Then on the way out, my husband left something important in a restaurant in Wall. They were nice enough to hold it for them, but it meant we had to go back via I-90.
Hundreds of miles of bikers riding in either very slow or very fast packs on I-90, refusing to let cars pass, doing stupid stuff around the cars ... and no hotel rooms available.
How do you like the NW? Did your move go okay? Are you missing ChiTown?

Since: Oct 09

Spearfish, SD

#18 Jun 13, 2014
Toj wrote:
L1: They're out of diapers before 4 years old. I don't understand why this man is handwringing over this.


I'll tell you why the "handwringing". This is the result of the societal hysteria shyte over "sex offenders" and "molestation"; its' to the point now where a man cannot even look at a child or teenager without being suspected of it. While false accusations can be proven false, they still completely ruin lives and the person never gets that cloud of suspicion off of them again. If you spend five minutes in the legal field, especially certain areas of it, you will see how endemic false accusations are in divorce and custody cases, among other situations. Problem is, they're almost always automatically believed and any accusation must, by law, be investigated. I know of three situations first-hand of such false accusations and the permanent damage done to the accused. This ultimately makes it difficult for accusations that are real and true. This LW is not being paranoid, he's being realistic and there's good reason for his genuine fear. It's really sad how it's all come to this and this witch hunt has to stop.

You can look no further than this thread to see the reality of what I'm saying. Already, people are assuming latent "pedo" tendencies and other such ridiculous horseshyte.
pde

Bothell, WA

#19 Jun 13, 2014
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text> Not everyone plans their trips out to the second. I had a ski trip a few years ago and it was far enough away that we knew we would stop at some point for the night, but did not know how far we'd get before we decided to stop for the night. Made our decision based on the interstate billboard advertising free wifi. Had 2 hotels off that exit. Called both from the road. Had there been no vacancy, would have just kept driving.
I think if you're willing to accept that there may be some times you end up catching naps in the car or driving past some place you wanted to stay because of lack of availability, that's a decent enough way to travel. And the reality is that it isn't as big an issue in some areas of the country. When we were living in Chicago, we would regularly drive East or South with the expectation we'd drive until we were tired and find a hotel. There's big enough cities close enough together with enough year-round hotel availability that it's not an issue. In most places South and East, there are exits with hotels every 10-15 miles.

But our trips out West have shown me that there are reasons at times to better be prepared. And that's what the LW is warning about. On most of the interstates going through the Plains area, you have a location with x number of hotel rooms, and the next location with another x number of hotel rooms may be 50 or 100 miles up the road with almost nothing in between.

Since: Oct 09

Spearfish, SD

#20 Jun 13, 2014
pde wrote:
<quoted text>
We were planning to AVOID the area because we knew we were going to be coming back through during Strugis, by taking I-94 back.
Then on the way out, my husband left something important in a restaurant in Wall. They were nice enough to hold it for them, but it meant we had to go back via I-90.
Hundreds of miles of bikers riding in either very slow or very fast packs on I-90, refusing to let cars pass, doing stupid stuff around the cars ... and no hotel rooms available.
Yup, that's the way it is! And the standard retort to those in the area who dare to say anything negative about the precious rally is "you know when it's coming ,just take your vacation this time each year". But that's not realistic or possible for everyone, especially since the rally has now extended over a month and to the whole Hills area.

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker
First Prev
of 2
Next Last

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Chicago Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
News Barack Obama, our next President (Nov '08) 3 min Earl 1,457,707
News BARACK OBAMA BIRTH CERTIFICATE: Suit contesting... (Jan '09) 11 min Jacques in Ottawa 230,928
Topix Chitown Regulars (Aug '09) 2 hr Sam 104,501
Word (Dec '08) 2 hr PEllen 6,836
Double Word Game (Dec '11) 2 hr PEllen 3,443
{keep A word drop A word} (Oct '11) 2 hr PEllen 9,839
Four letter word game (Dec '11) 2 hr PEllen 2,272

Chicago Jobs

More from around the web

Personal Finance

Chicago Mortgages