“Not a real reg”

Since: Jan 13

Location hidden

#1 Jan 26, 2013
DEAR AMY: I would like some advice on a situation that’s been bothering me for quite some time. I have two best guy friends. Both of them are straight. I am gay. They are pretty open-minded about having a gay best friend. However, both of them allow me to flirt with them insistently. Things even went to another level with one of them.

I don’t know if they are playing mind games with me because they are in denial about their sexuality, or if they think my feelings are just a joke — you know, the whole “ha-ha, my gay best friend likes me” thing.

I would like to have a relationship with one of them, but at this point, if they can’t be comfortable with themselves, what is the point?-- Confused But Not Really

DEAR CONFUSED: I see your situation as being analogous to one where a straight man says,“My best women friends let me come on to them and yet won’t have a sexual relationship! How dare they toy with me!”

I don’t really see sexuality as being the primary factor. This is more about honesty — yours and theirs.

Do you have no responsibility for your own behavior? Is “insistent flirting” the only way you know to relate to men you care about? You seem to be toying with your friends as much as you think they are “playing” you. It is possible that your behavior toward your friends is as confusing for them as their reaction is baffling for you.

If you want to have a sexual relationship with your one friend, you should do something more challenging than flirting with him and passively hoping he’ll reciprocate (making you angry when he doesn’t)— you should be brave enough to talk to him.

DEAR AMY: I’m a junior in high school, and one of my close friends recently invited me to follow her blog. After reading her blog for a few weeks, I’ve come to realize that she’s posting more and more about being fat (she’s not, at all) and about starving herself.

I’m so worried about her. She just told me that she has clinical depression, which makes me think that this really might be serious. I really love her and try to tell her that as often as possible, but aside from that I have no idea what to do. I hate seeing my friend do this to herself.-- Very Worried

DEAR WORRIED: I share your concern. Your friend’s blog is at least semipublic and she is using it (I believe) as a cry for help. If she has developed an eating disorder, the sooner she gets treatment the better her chance for recovery.

I urge you to notify responsible adults at school (your school nurse and the school counselor) and your parents about what you are reading on your friend’s blog. She needs adult help and intervention. You are a very good friend to care so much and for being willing to act on your concerns.

DEAR AMY: The letter from “Cranky Dad” made me mad. He “can’t stand it when kids, teenagers, young adults and older male adults wear baseball caps into homes, restaurants and other buildings.”

May I suggest that some who do so do it not because they are unaware of the accepted custom of removing their hats, nor are they trying to flaunt societal rules.

Would Cranky insist that someone whose eyes are particularly sensitive to the glare of overhead lights get his permission before being allowed to protect them with a billed cap? Or patients undergoing chemotherapy? Or those with disfiguring scars on their heads that they prefer to hide?

Of course Cranky should be allowed to dress in a way that he feels is appropriate for the situation, but to impose his tastes on others across the board is insensitive.-- Bernice

DEAR BERNICE: Readers are beating up “Cranky Dad” with testimonials similar to yours, but to be fair to him, he seemed mainly concerned by the males in his own household, over whom he evidently has no authority.

Since: Mar 09

West Palm Beach, FL

#2 Jan 26, 2013
Must be the weekend! The intern is nailing it.
PEllen

Chicago, IL

#3 Jan 26, 2013
j_m_w wrote:
Must be the weekend! The intern is nailing it.
Well, LW 1 is certainly NOT nailing it.

Mornin' jamwow

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#4 Jan 26, 2013
L1: Obviously he's liking the flirting and then complaining. Weird.

L2: If she's your friend, talk to her FIRST and then talk to the adults if you think it necessary.

L3: No one has authority over their friends and family dress -- you can only suggest and to suggest strongly can most times be the wrong thing.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#5 Jan 26, 2013
LW1: "Things even went to another level with one of them."

And wtf does tht mean?

Ans when Amy said “My best women friends let me come on to them"
I missed the word "to".

Since: Mar 09

West Palm Beach, FL

#6 Jan 26, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
LW1: "Things even went to another level with one of them."
And wtf does tht mean?
Ans when Amy said “My best women friends let me come on to them"
I missed the word "to".
LOL. Literally.

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Chicago Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
News Israeli troops begin Gaza pullout as Hamas decl... (Jan '09) 4 min Cold Front 69,324
News Ill. House Approves Legalizing Same-Sex Civil U... (Dec '10) 31 min Brian_G 51,901
News Barack Obama, our next President (Nov '08) 3 hr woodtick57 1,208,344
News Messianic Jews say they are persecuted in Israel (Jun '08) 4 hr rabbee yehoshooah... 71,710
News Once slow-moving threat, global warming speeds ... (Dec '08) 7 hr ritedownthemiddle 52,446
News BARACK OBAMA BIRTH CERTIFICATE: Suit contesting... (Jan '09) 8 hr Jacques in Orleans 186,025
Topix Chitown Regulars (Aug '09) 8 hr Penceative people 99,316
More from around the web

Chicago People Search

Addresses and phone numbers for FREE

Personal Finance

Mortgages [ See current mortgage rates ]