“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#1 Jul 6, 2013
DEAR ABBY: I'm 14 and for as long as I can remember, my family has never really been "together." We exist with each other physically, but have never connected in a loving way. I can't remember my father ever smiling at my mom or being happy. There seems to be an undercurrent of hostility or resentment in our relationships with each other. The lack of love in our house is palpable.

I wonder sometimes what it's like to eat dinner together at night, and what it's like to see parents kiss because they love each other -- not a stressed, distant, obligated contact.

I finally asked my mother, "Why don't you ever hug me?" Her answer was, "Because I can't remember the last time you tried to hug me."

I'm crying as I write this. Why doesn't my mother understand that kindness is necessary and should not be conditional?-- TROUBLED GIRL IN FLORIDA

DEAR TROUBLED GIRL: Your mother may have been raised in a loveless home and not know how to easily demonstrate affection. Or her marriage to your father could be so unhappy that she has shut down.

You are a perceptive girl, and it is understandable that you are "troubled." But the only person who can answer the question you have asked me is your mother, who appears to need to receive kindness and affection before she will be able to give it. Make an effort to hug her more and the situation may improve. How very sad.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 33-year-old man who has screwed up his marriage. I stupidly had a fling with my wife's 16-year-old cousin and got in trouble for it. I never lied about it because I knew it was wrong, and I am deeply sorry for it. It happened more than a year ago. I ended up serving time in jail.

I love my wife. She is my best friend. We have no kids, just some great dogs and horses. We were very close until I went to jail, and the last day I was in there I got served with divorce papers.

I can't blame her for how she feels. She says she loves me but she's too hurt to continue. I love her and I'm devastated that I can't fix this.

I have known her for 20 years and she means so much to me. I want to save our marriage, and for the last year I have expressed repeatedly how sorry I am. Any advice?-- SORRY IN TENNESSEE

DEAR SORRY: Tell your wife (if the divorce isn't final) that you are willing to do anything to save your marriage, and ask her if she would be willing to go to couple's counseling with you.

Under the circumstances, her feelings are entirely understandable. If there is any love for you left in her heart, counseling may help to get your relationship back on track. However, if she refuses, you will have to accept her decision and go on with your life, having learned a very expensive lesson.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 23-year-old gay male who is interested in doing drag. Due to being unable to find work, I am hoping I can turn performing in drag into a source of income. I am not afraid to perform in front of crowds of people, so this could be a good idea. Do you think it is?-- POTENTIAL SUPERSTAR IN PHILADELPHIA

DEAR POTENTIAL SUPERSTAR: It's not a bad idea. Your next step is to audition to see if you have the ability and the looks to succeed.

While drag is a narrow niche of show business, some performers have had successful careers in that area -- and you might, too. You'll never know if you don't give it a try. I wish you luck.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#2 Jul 6, 2013
L1. This letter uses a remarkable vocabulary for a 14 year old who is in tears. Remarkable. I shall withhold the remark, though.

L2. Where is Boundary Painter when we need her? This guy gives TN a bad name and reinforces a really sorry stereotype. Plus, since he was in jail he is probably now a registered sex offender which puts a crimp in having a family. Plus he schtupped her cousin which makes family diners and holidays a bit of a drag.I suggest he learn Spanish and emigrate to Venezuela. they will take anybody these days.

L3 Speaking of drag...Is he really asking Abby? Did he send her a picture?

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#3 Jul 6, 2013
1- Such lovely vocabulary and sentence structure for a 14 year old. Palpable? So your parents aren't affectionate, not everyone is. Get a dog.

2- Didn't know it was illegal to have sex with a 16 yr old family member in Tennessee....

3- Aim for the stars and follow your dreams, buddy!
Unable to find work, huh? And I'll bet you voted for Obama. Go fig!
Cass

Rancho Cucamonga, CA

#4 Jul 6, 2013
LW1 - What PEllen said.

LW2 - Ugh. You are sick and disgusting. If my husband had an "affair" with a 16-year-old girl, I wouldn't wait until he's served his prison term to divorce him. I'd be at a divorce lawyer's office the day I learned the evidence. And there'd be no custody of the kids for him. I wouldn't let him within 100 yards of them.
boundary painter

San Antonio, TX

#5 Jul 6, 2013
In less than four years, LW1 can leave that cold family and not look back. Volunteer work and true
friendship are a good thing to seek--since (if this letter is real), one cannot get milk or eggs out of a pig anymore than one can get kindness from family who won't give it.

LW2 deserves to be thrown out of the state of Tennessee into the muddy Mississippi river and bitten by water moccassins and or alligators (or at least told never to return to the state.

Since: Dec 09

Smalltown, Colorado

#6 Jul 6, 2013
LW2 - I can't believe Abby is encouraging a pedophile to try to save his marriage. The wife is doing the right thing is cutting this guy out of her life.
Julie

Chicago, IL

#7 Jul 6, 2013
PEllen wrote:
L1. This letter uses a remarkable vocabulary for a 14 year old who is in tears. Remarkable. I shall withhold the remark, though.
You're a better "man" than I am, PEllen, and I won't withhold. The LW is FOS. "Palpable" indeed. <snort>
Kuuipo

Salinas, CA

#8 Jul 6, 2013
LW1: What boundary painter said.

LW2: Well, at least you admit that it was stupid to have a "fling" with your wife's 16-year-old cousin. Actually, you pegged the stupid meter with that move. No woman with a speck of self-respect would take you back after that incident. In fact, you will very likely have trouble finding dates in your community. My best advice is to relocate and start over.

LW3: There are some really good drag shows in larger cities and if you can impersonate famous female entertainers, you might do well. If this is something that you think you would enjoy, go for it.

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