“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#1 Jan 5, 2014
DEAR ABBY: My wife of 37 years has an exciting career she loves. Unfortunately, her job is 80 miles away from home. We own a condo in her work city. So recently, when she was complaining about the commute, I suggested she stay there for a week, then telecommute from home for a week, etc. She loves the new schedule.

I, on the other hand, am kicking myself! I have recently started working again at 62, and I'm lonely. It's depressing to come home to an empty house every other week, but I'm the one who suggested it. Her job could last another two to five years.

We have five grandchildren who live close by, so moving to her location isn't an option. What do I do about this?-- MISSING HER IN FLORIDA

DEAR MISSING HER: You tell your wife that although you suggested she stay in the condo for a week at a time, it isn't working for you, and you're miserable without her. Or, you accept that a 160-mile daily commute may have become too much for her and fill your lonely hours by getting a hobby and baby-sitting some of those grandchildren whose parents might like some adult time together. But the one thing you shouldn't do is sit and silently brood because it isn't healthy.

DEAR ABBY: My niece had a bridal shower last March. When thank-you notes didn't arrive for the gifts she had been given, she said they were "lost in the mail" and she would thank everyone in her wedding thank-yous. Abby, she was married last May and she hasn't sent out thank-you notes for her wedding gifts, either.

The gifts my parents and I gave her were expensive, and I am upset about it. By the way, she wasn't too busy to write them because she doesn't work. Should I confront her or let it go?-- DISGUSTED IN MIDDLEBURG HEIGHTS, OHIO

DEAR DISGUSTED: Your sibling did a poor job of raising her daughter. If your niece didn't know that thank-you notes were supposed to have been sent for her shower gifts, she wouldn't have lied about them having been lost in the mail.

However, I see nothing to be gained by confronting her. If you do, it will cause your sibling to become defensive. Better to make note of it and respond accordingly when the baby shower invitations start coming in because that's what is sure to come next.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 19 and recently engaged. My parents refuse to acknowledge my ring or discuss my wedding plans. I have brought up the idea of moving to where my fiance is, but they think it's a horrible idea because they'll miss me. My grandfather has been trying to guilt-trip me into staying by saying things like, "We would miss you. But you don't care about that or us at all!"

It's not true, Abby. How do I keep my family informed about my wedding plans and move within the next three months without them feeling hurt?-- DETERMINED IN TEXAS

DEAR DETERMINED: Tell your parents and grandparents that you love them, but you're an adult and need to go where your fiance is. Tell them you and your fiance would love to have them present when you take your vows, and hope they will be emotionally supportive. Be sure to calmly explain that your decision has nothing to do with not caring about them; it's about building a future with the man you love. They may miss you, but in time they'll adjust.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#2 Jan 5, 2014
1- Good God, you whiny @zz cry baby

2- Oh for the love of...

3- Forgive your family for not being thrilled you're engaged to a 60 yr old man in Malaysia you met on the internet

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#3 Jan 5, 2014
L1: I don't get why having grandchildren nearby makes any difference. Move to where your wife is and enjoy her company!

L2: "Your sibling did a poor job of raising her daughter." Not necessarily. My mom raised me to write them. She still writes them herself. I am hit or miss. Once your kid is an adult and moves out, you lose the control. And what about the groom?

L3: I could see them not being thrilled that you're getting married at such a young age to someone who apparently doesn't live nearby, but their comments make it about something else -- them.
Kuuipo

Salinas, CA

#4 Jan 5, 2014
LW1 and LW2: Team edog.

LW3: The problem is that you are 19 and your folks haven't started treating you like an adult yet. It would help if you started acting like one, starting with making your own plans for the future and then letting them know. And what do you mean by they refuse to acknowledge the ring?

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#5 Jan 5, 2014
L1 Team Red. You are in Florida. they have interstates. For me 80 miles takes round 1 1/2 hours. Move down to her and visit the grandkids on weekends.
L2 Yeah, what about the groom?

However, I would send an email to the bride, kindly asking whether she received the silver wine tasting cup because you were billed for it but never recievd an acknowledgement.

That said, if you receive a generic thank you, be satisfied. Sometimes the person in charge of keeping the guest/gift list is the point of breakdown or the list got lost etc.

L3 Dog got it. Actually until I read the signature I thought this was a South Asian/Indian writer

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#6 Jan 5, 2014
PEllen wrote:
L3 Dog got it. Actually until I read the signature I thought this was a South Asian/Indian writer
There's a chance LW is gay and wants to move where gay marriage is allowed....

But I still think it's a 60 yr old dude in Malaysia. Maybe Mexico.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#7 Jan 5, 2014
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
L1: I don't get why having grandchildren nearby makes any difference. Move to where your wife is and enjoy her company!
L2: "Your sibling did a poor job of raising her daughter." Not necessarily. My mom raised me to write them. She still writes them herself. I am hit or miss. Once your kid is an adult and moves out, you lose the control. And what about the groom?
L3: I could see them not being thrilled that you're getting married at such a young age to someone who apparently doesn't live nearby, but their comments make it about something else -- them.
LW1: I don't understand either. Who would you rather see every day vs every few weeks? That being said, I think I might enjoy getting every other week to myself.

LW2: My mom did a horrible job of raising me. I never heard of thank you notes until it was time to get married. Only ones I've ever sent out. Thanks mom.

LW3: Live your life on your terms. They'll get over it. If not, no big loss.

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