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Ralph

Wilmington, IL

#1 Oct 10, 2012
DEAR ABBY: I am the single dad of two teenage boys (17 and 18) who are both in high school. I am wondering about something they do with their friends. The boys take showers in large groups. When they come in from running or sports, or if a group is spending the night, they shower in groups of two, three or four. It's not like we have a huge shower -- it's normal size.

I know there's nothing sexual going on because I can hear them talking and joking around. When I asked the boys about this, they looked at me like I had two heads. They said it was just a social thing and the same as showering together after football in the school gym.

They also "air dry" after showers by walking around in towels, sometimes watching TV or goofing off for hours while in their towels. When going out, they get naked in the bathroom, fixing their hair, shaving, brushing their teeth, etc. It's like a big "nude fest" with them and their friends.

While I'm glad they are comfortable with their bodies and who they are, it still bothers me somewhat. Am I being a prude in thinking this is unusual or inappropriate?-- STUMPED IN KENTUCKY

DEAR STUMPED: I see nothing inappropriate about what your sons and their friends are doing. Nor do I want to label you a prude. You are just not as comfortable in your skin as your sons and their "jock" friends are. Is it possible that they take after their mother?
DEAR ABBY: My best friend and I do everything together and I love her, so when she showed up at the gym in "booty shorts," I didn't say a word, even though they don't flatter her one bit. Heck, there's a mirror on every wall, so she must have liked what she saw, and it's none of my business.

When she wore them to a school sporting event, my husband accused me of being a "bad friend" for not telling her that her rear view was getting the wrong kind of attention. Some of the other parents in the bleachers were snickering.

I guess if the situation were reversed, I'd want my best friend to give me a hint, but I'm not exactly sure how to do it. Am I wrong to just keep my mouth shut and mind my own business?-- ANONYMOUS IN A SMALL TOWN

DEAR ANONYMOUS: Allow me to provide a couple of hints. First, tell your friend when you are alone and can't be overheard, which will spare her unnecessary embarrassment. Second, ask, "When you bought those shorts, did you get a look at yourself from the back?" If she says no, provide her with a mirror so she can look over her shoulder at herself. Then explain that at the school event, some of the other parents were staring, and not too kindly.

You will be doing her a favor to speak up. That is what friendship is all about. And if she's smart, she'll thank you.

DEAR ABBY: I met this beautiful and awesome lady last Saturday and slept with her that night. Sunday, we spent most of the day texting back and forth. I asked her to dinner on Monday and she accepted. We did more texting on Tuesday night, which I initiated.

So, my question is, how much texting and pursuing is too much in trying to hang out with this woman? I'm really interested in her.-- PRETTY COOL DUDE IN MINNESOTA

DEAR PRETTY COOL DUDE: How about giving her 24 hours to catch her breath? Because she keeps saying yes, the signs are good so far. Just be careful that in your enthusiasm your ardor doesn't come across as overwhelming. If you do all the chasing, you'll deprive her of the pleasure of chasing you back.
edog

Wilmington, IL

#2 Oct 10, 2012
1- Wake up, dude, your son's gay.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#3 Oct 10, 2012
3 or 4 guys together in a regular size bathtub, showering? That's strange. Sort of like the old days of packing a VW only wet , naked and soapy

Wait- you met her Saturday, bonked her Saturday night and by Tuesday you are writing to Abby? Did you used to date the girl who wrote to Amy?( shakes head and walks away)

Since: Dec 07

DuPage County

#4 Oct 10, 2012
L1: Not at all normal dude.....in fact the group nudity thing is peculiar as h#ll.

L2: Booty shorts look good on about 5% of the population, and 95% of the 5% is under age 17.

L3: Smother much? Take a breath before she gets knocked up.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#5 Oct 10, 2012
LW1: Fake letter.

"I see nothing inappropriate about what your sons and their friends are doing."
You're nuts. Grown ass men(cause that's really what an 18 year old is) do not shower together. A locker room with huge showers designed for multiple people is an exception. No male at a high school age or older showers with others in a home shower. Unless their gay.

LW2: Nonsense. She knows exactly how they look and she's comfortable with it. Hubby thinks you'rea bad friend? WTF? Since when is it a friend's job to be responsible for other's attire.

LW3: Great idea. A 70 year old is the perfect person to go to for dating/texting tips.
Community Disorganizer

Trumbull, CT

#6 Oct 10, 2012
LW 1: Your son and his freinds are heading down the dirt road, not good!

LW 2: Tell your friend she will need to spend a a lot more time at the gym befor her fat azz will fit those booty shorts.

PRETTY COOL DUDE IN MINNESOTA: hey dumbazz when are you going to figure it out? She is also texting half the other guy from the bar.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#7 Oct 10, 2012
L1: I'm with Tonka: This is fake. I ran it past Nick (had to call him this early, and two guys at work). All three said no way is the letter real.

L2: What Saluki and Tonka said.

L3: Cut back on the texting a bit, but call her and talk to her on the phone.
dahgts

Chicago, IL

#8 Oct 10, 2012
L1: Agree that these guys may be gay but did anyone catch Abbys last line. Their mother?

WTF was that about?

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#9 Oct 10, 2012
1 Tonka is right, fake. First off I doubt you can fit 4 football sized guys in a shower, they would be rubbing each others junk without even trying. But hey, the LW is in Kentucky and maybe amby figures it ok if their from Kentucky.

2 Girls fat ass stuff, dont care

3 PEllen said it best. If your writing amby after 3 days, something is just not right.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#10 Oct 10, 2012
LW1: WTF, Abby sees nothing wrong with this? Dudes are gayer than a gay parade in San Francisco.

LW2: If there are mirrors all over the gym, Iím sure sheís aware. Further, I donít think women, being women, wear something like that, without checking out how they look before they leave the house.

LW3: Itís always good to play the game a little bit instead of being too forward and desperate at the outset. Iím not saying blow her off, but act like you have a little confidence and arenít so desperate.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#11 Oct 10, 2012
Sublime1 wrote:
LW1: WTF, Abby sees nothing wrong with this? Dudes are gayer than a gay parade in San Francisco.
There's nothing wrong with that.

:)

Since: Mar 09

Miami, FL

#12 Oct 10, 2012
L1: Straight guys don't shower together (locker rooms are different, as Tonka pointed out). That's all I've got.

L2: The friend PROBABLY knows exactly how she THINKS she looks... I dunno. If it's a really close friend and you think she might be clueless as to whether or not these shorts flatter her, say something. But it's more likely that she just digs the attention, negative or not.

L3: You're not a cool dude, you're a desperate loser. HTH.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#13 Oct 10, 2012
j_m_w wrote:
L1: Straight guys don't shower together (locker rooms are different, as Tonka pointed out). That's all I've got.
L2: The friend PROBABLY knows exactly how she THINKS she looks... I dunno. If it's a really close friend and you think she might be clueless as to whether or not these shorts flatter her, say something. But it's more likely that she just digs the attention, negative or not.
L3: You're not a cool dude, you're a desperate loser. HTH.
HTH?

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#14 Oct 10, 2012
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>
HTH?
Hit the highway, is what I got.

Since: Mar 09

Miami, FL

#15 Oct 10, 2012
HTH = hope this helps (chat speak).

Since: Mar 09

Miami, FL

#16 Oct 10, 2012
But hit the highway works in this case too....

Since: Mar 09

Pittsburgh, PA

#17 Oct 10, 2012
PEllen wrote:
Wait- you met her Saturday, bonked her Saturday night and by Tuesday you are writing to Abby? Did you used to date the girl who wrote to Amy?( shakes head and walks away)
Our Amy, or Amy ALKON (the Advice Goddess?) He needs to hook up with her LW1 from today! http://www.creators.com/advice/advice-goddess...
(I guess there really is a lid for every pot!)

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#18 Oct 10, 2012
LW1: OK, the non-locker room showering together is weird, but since they're don't seem to be trying to hide anything, I doubt anything is going on.

Maybe they really really like to conserve water.

LW2: I'd tell her, but I'd also not expect her to stop wearing them just because I did.

LW3: I think both of you need to take one giant step backwards. Too much, too soon.
Sam I Am

Schaumburg, IL

#19 Oct 10, 2012
1. Um, it's weird at the very least.

2. Next time she wears them, let her know that she got some less flattering attention. Then shut up no matter what she says.

3. It doesn't matter. You are going to screw this up somehow some way at some time in the near future. You made the drunken beast with two backs the first night you met, you text a few times and you're in love? You'd better cool things WAAAAAYYYYY down if you want any chance.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#20 Oct 10, 2012
When I was about 12, the disco look was still going strong.(1980.)

I had a new outfit -- ice blue satin pants, a baggyish top, and a stylin ice blue-multi-color "fashion scarf" around my neck, knotted at the ends. I wore that awesome new outfit to my brother's little league game. I did hear a few snickers in the crowd in the stands, but my attitude was, "Those losers have no clue how cool I look in this outfit."

I'm pretty sure the friend in the shorts has the same attitude if anyone expresses negative opinions.

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