Kittens, apple pie, bible verses, Boy Scouts

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“Joy is the shadow cast by pain”

Since: Dec 08

Twin Cities, MN

#1 Jul 6, 2009
I can't stand political talk right now. I've had some cocktails, my boyfriend is so busy with work he can't think straight (poor guy), I've gained 12 pounds since softball started (bar food and beer), and now I can't play ball for the month of July.

So sex is the topic of the day. No judgment allowed. Unless someone posts something very hateful or something like that, then fine, we will come down on you like... mothers in law in menopause. But otherwise... you get to talk about your predelictions and kinks and fantasies without some immature response like "Eeeew that's disgusting." Fair enough?

If I knew more about computers and programming, I'd create a site for us to do that where I could boot the judgmental folks.

Just remember, this isn't a CHRISTIAN sex chat thread. Just a regular sex chat thread. ;)

That's all I got. I'll be up and down, putting away loads of laundry and going through my dumping ground--I mean, my spare bedroom--looking for the title to my truck for the guy I gave my truck away to.
Rational

Villa Park, IL

#2 Jul 6, 2009
Okay, fantasies: YOU GO FIRST!:P

“Joy is the shadow cast by pain”

Since: Dec 08

Twin Cities, MN

#3 Jul 6, 2009
Heh. Okay. I'd love to have a threesome with two men.(SOOOO not into chicks! But if my man agreed to the threesome *I* want, I'd do the one *he* wants and be a good sport about it.)
Rational

Villa Park, IL

#4 Jul 6, 2009
AngelaMN wrote:
Heh. Okay. I'd love to have a threesome with two men.(SOOOO not into chicks! But if my man agreed to the threesome *I* want, I'd do the one *he* wants and be a good sport about it.)
Thats awesome!! Hope you get to do it. I told flawless Id make the same agreement with her...but i get mine first hahahahaha!!!
PEllen

Waukegan, IL

#5 Jul 6, 2009
AngelaMN wrote:
Heh. Okay. I'd love to have a threesome with two men.(SOOOO not into chicks! But if my man agreed to the threesome *I* want, I'd do the one *he* wants and be a good sport about it.)
Nope, not my taste. Too distracting. Many long years ago at a Club Med which shall remain nameless, 3 of us got verrrry close to this but we all chickened out
Rational

Villa Park, IL

#6 Jul 6, 2009
oops double posted
LOL
Rational

Villa Park, IL

#7 Jul 6, 2009
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>
Nope, not my taste. Too distracting. Many long years ago at a Club Med which shall remain nameless, 3 of us got verrrry close to this but we all chickened out
I bet lots of people do. Nothing wrong with that. I think most times fantasy is better than reality anyway.

“bELieve”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#8 Jul 6, 2009
Dam, would love to contribute to this, but my husband just got home and I should be social before I fall asleep. I'll have to come back here tomorrow.

But I will leave with - I agree with PEllen. It is way too distracting. I'll have to try to remember some of my college stories (those years are very fuzzy, hence the beer ban in the house), because I know that this is one of them.

'Night y'all!:)
thingy

Terre Haute, IN

#9 Jul 6, 2009
Rational wrote:
<quoted text> I bet lots of people do. Nothing wrong with that. I think most times fantasy is better than reality anyway.
Yep.

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#10 Jul 6, 2009
Ok are we talking about sex with kittens or apple pie? If it's boy scouts then they gotta be eagle scouts (they're over 18 right?)

“Joy is the shadow cast by pain”

Since: Dec 08

Twin Cities, MN

#11 Jul 6, 2009
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>
Nope, not my taste. Too distracting. Many long years ago at a Club Med which shall remain nameless, 3 of us got verrrry close to this but we all chickened out
I bet that's a helluva story!:) There was an episode of Will & Grace along those lines (Grace, and old boyfriend, and his new girlfriend).

“Joy is the shadow cast by pain”

Since: Dec 08

Twin Cities, MN

#12 Jul 6, 2009
I'll share more about my main fantasy but only after others have ventured forth a bit more. ;)

Besides... I have to go to bed early to get to work early... and I have baskets of laundry to put away (STILL). I am a laundry goddess. Men in serious relationships with me find that their laundry gets done to perfection. The part I'm not so great about: Putting away.
PEllen

Waukegan, IL

#13 Jul 6, 2009
When I was young and simple
I don't recall the date
I met a handsome captain of the guard
He visited my chambers one evening rather late
In tandem with a husky Saint Bernard

At first I was astonished
And tears came to my eyes
But, later when I asked him to resume
He said, to my surprise
My dear, it isn't wise
Where love is concerned one must freshen the bloom

Once, yes, once for a lark
Twice, though, loses the spark
One must never deny it
But after you try it you vary the diet

Said my handsome young guard
Yes, I know, but it's hard
But no matter how nice
I never do anything twice

La la da da de-ah da dum

I think about the baron
Who came at my command
And proffered me a riding crop and chains
The evening that we shared
Was meticulously planned
He took the most extraordinary pains
He trembled with excitement
His cheeks were quite aglow
And afterword he cried to me, encore!

He pleaded with me so to have another go
I murmured carresingly, whatever for?

Once, yes, once for a lark
Twice, though, loses the spark
Once, yes, once is delicious
But twice would be vicious
Or just repetitious Someone's bound to be scarred
Yes, I know that it's hard
But, no matter the price
I never do anything twice

La la la la la la la la la la

And then there was the abbot
Who worshiped at my feet
Who dressed me in a wimple and in veils
He made a proposition which
I found rather sweet
And handed me a hammer and some nails

In time we lay contented
And he began again
By fingering the beads around our waists
I whispered to him then
We'll have to say amen
For I had developed more catholic tastes

Once, yes, once for a lark
Twice, though, loses the spark

As I said to the abbot
I'll get in the habit, but not in the habit
You've my highest regard
And I know that it's hard
Still, no matter the price
I'd never do anything twice

Once, yes, once can be nice
Love requires some spice
If you've something in view
Or something to do, totally new
I'll be there in a trice
But I never do anything twice

Except ... No
I never do anything twice

“Joy is the shadow cast by pain”

Since: Dec 08

Twin Cities, MN

#15 Jul 6, 2009
Mimi Seattle wrote:
Ok are we talking about sex with kittens or apple pie? If it's boy scouts then they gotta be eagle scouts (they're over 18 right?)
I think most Eagle Scouts are 15 or 16. And they likely remain virgins until age 23.
PEllen

Waukegan, IL

#17 Jul 6, 2009
AngelaMN wrote:
<quoted text>
EXACTLY. And i don't want to link to it again publicly... the less buzz we get, the raunchier we can get!:)
We posted the link once... after that, we should consider sharing it via email or other boring threads or SOMETHING. I dunno. Hate to lose all the posts! ;)
I have some fun things to share here, but i'm tired, and I have to call Q before I go to bed, which will take 30 minutes (we are a chatty couple).
You folks are fun. PEllen... you got some stories!(Say that in a gay Puerto Rican lisp like John Leguizamo would do!)
Cue the sultry voice, As I once said to a close personal friend, "I don't have fantasies, I have memories."

Since: Jan 09

Tinley Park, IL

#19 Jul 7, 2009
AngelaMN wrote:
<quoted text>
I think most Eagle Scouts are 15 or 16. And they likely remain virgins until age 23.
More like 43....

:D

Since: Jan 09

Tinley Park, IL

#20 Jul 7, 2009
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>
Cue the sultry voice, As I once said to a close personal friend, "I don't have fantasies, I have memories."
Niiiiiiice!

“bELieve”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#22 Jul 7, 2009
I have to say that a hunky midwestern Eagle Scout would definitely be one of my fantasies (over 18, of course). You know, like the ones who are raised on a farm and have muscles from throwing hay bales. He'd have to say "Yes Ma'am" (and never call me "young lady"). I could help him earn his First Aid merit badge (you know, those Ace bandages can be a lot of fun). Mmmm... I think I have to enjoy this fantasy in my head for a while before I write any more.

“Joy is the shadow cast by pain”

Since: Dec 08

Twin Cities, MN

#24 Jul 7, 2009
Farmer Tim wrote:
<quoted text>Would you consider a fella who got kicked out of Cub Scouts for eating a Brownie in his tent?
HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

“Joy is the shadow cast by pain”

Since: Dec 08

Twin Cities, MN

#25 Jul 7, 2009
Many many moons ago, my ultimate fantasy man was a hot Native American firefighter. Unfortunately, since 9/11, the firefighter as sex symbol has gone off the charts. Stupid terrorists.

One day at a friend's bday party, I met a guy who was yummy and appeared Native American, perhaps half. I asked him and it turns out he was half Korean. Then somehow it came up that he's an EMT guy. I just came right out and told him how he's my fantasy man, that it specifically was Native American firefighter, but it was a big enough category: Asian/Native American/Polynesian (I love that whole group), plus the whole "life saving" job thrown in made him absolutely yummy to me. I found out later that the betchy ;) blonde sitting next to him was his live-in girlfriend.

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