“Not a real reg”

Since: Jan 13

Location hidden

#1 Jun 29, 2013
DEAR AMY: I’ve been in a relationship for 17 months with my boyfriend, but the trust issue comes between us.

I always think he is cheating on me because he has cheated on me three times already, but I forgave him.
I don’t know if he is cheating again. Every time I ask him, he tells me I’m the only one. But why do I always have this feeling that he’s doing something behind my back?

Sometimes he will just text me twice a day. Then sometimes he won’t even get in touch to say good night, but I will know he is still up until 3 in the morning communicating with people on Facebook.

I’m afraid he might be cheating on me again. I love him so much, Amy. What should I do?-- Faithful Lady

DEAR FAITHFUL: At some point, even the most faithful person needs to wake up and smell the cheating.

I worry about you. I worry about your choice to stay with someone who keeps you so off kilter. You are at the point in your relationship where it no longer really matters what your boyfriend is doing; what matters now is what you do. You should muster the courage to leave this relationship because you know you deserve something better.

Judging from your boyfriend’s track record and current actions (as well as your instincts about him), I’d say that if you want a faithful love relationship, a good place to start would be to get a dog.

DEAR AMY: My boyfriend and I have been together for almost four years and are very much in love. The one thing I can’t stand about him is his friend “George.” He has such an ugly personality, and I find that he makes me so irritated sometimes that I cannot stand to even be around him, because I hate who I become just being in his presence! He says hurtful things to me and goes out of his way to say them.

What makes me sad is that sometimes he will be very rude to me in front of my beau, who does absolutely nothing! He does not stand up for me, and I’ve had it with his pal. What should I do? I can’t believe my boyfriend has such bad taste in friends!-- Pal Is a Pain

DEAR PAIN: I honestly can’t imagine standing idle while someone mistreated a loved one, and I agree that it would be a relief if your boyfriend defended you, but your first job is to stand up for yourself.

You note that you don’t like the way you respond to “George,” and so you already have a place to start. I suggest a turnaround on your part when dealing with this bully. The next time he mouths off to you, you should take a deep breath, look him in the eye and say,“George, stop it. Thank you.” And then you say to your guy,“Honey, I’ll see you later.” And you leave.

By all means, if you don’t want to spend time with this guy, then don’t.

DEAR AMY: Recently I wrote to ask your advice about a new baby co-sleeping with her grandparents and never put into a crib.

Your advice worked, and I am sending you a million thank-yous. The little one is now put in her big, magnificent crib, and she loves it. Thank you, Amy.-- No Longer a Worried Grandma

DEAR GRANDMA: I am so happy that your daughter and her family paid close attention to the reasonable recommendations about co-sleeping. The day your letter was published, I heard a fascinating account of a long-running program in Finland, where every expectant mother in the country is offered a “baby box,” a sturdy cardboard box filled with baby basics. The baby spends its first weeks sleeping in the box. This is a simple and safe way to co-sleep with an infant.

Other readers wondered about the choice these parents made to have their baby sleep with grandparents. I know that this is common in some cultures, where extended families live under one roof, and the parents both work outside the home.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#2 Jun 29, 2013
1. Good advice
2."By all means, if you don’t want to spend time with this guy, then don’t." Wonderfully ambiguous sentence. It could apply to either the bf or George. I would be concerned that the bf isn't sticking up for her. BF and George are too tight. George thinks you are going steal his best bud. This is a fight you should let George win. Back away gracefully and find someone who is on your side.
3.Sounds practical. Socialized medicine, but practcal.
Cass

Rancho Cucamonga, CA

#3 Jun 29, 2013
LW1 - Please look up the words "desperate" and "doormat" in the dictionary. I think you'll find your picture next to both of them. Dump the BF and get some therapy to get some self-respect.

LW2 - Sigh. Dump your BF. Sorry, it's not going to work out.

LW3 - Great idea. PEllen, I am curious: what do you have against socialized medicine?
liner

Brooklyn, NY

#4 Jun 29, 2013
LW2: I would say your boyfriend is the problem here. Dump him and you'll solve both problems.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#5 Jun 29, 2013
Cass wrote:
LW1 - Please look up the words "desperate" and "doormat" in the dictionary. I think you'll find your picture next to both of them. Dump the BF and get some therapy to get some self-respect.
LW2 - Sigh. Dump your BF. Sorry, it's not going to work out.
LW3 - Great idea. PEllen, I am curious: what do you have against socialized medicine?
3. The phrase socialized medicine is a hot button but there is a lot about the concept of a central source and payer for basic medical services that I find attractive. I have done some reading on patient handling and outcomes of similar diagnoses in different countries and different systems which I found intriguing. I doubt that most of it could be sold in the US, but it is an attractive possibility.
My comment stemmed from the answer that in Finland every expectant mother gets a box with basics. That means the government knows everyone who is pregnant and acts on a public health measure in light of that knowledge , apparently regardless if it is a street person or a medical student.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#6 Jun 29, 2013
1 If you really were a faithful lady you would STFU about it. Just love your man and it will all be good.

2 Either your BF has no nutz or you are being overly sensitive. You dont like george, so not matter what he says, your gonna cop an 'tude over it. See #1 above about what to do.

3 Great, America should adopt a program that treats newborns like a litter of kittens.
Cass

Rancho Cucamonga, CA

#7 Jun 29, 2013
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>
3. The phrase socialized medicine is a hot button but there is a lot about the concept of a central source and payer for basic medical services that I find attractive. I have done some reading on patient handling and outcomes of similar diagnoses in different countries and different systems which I found intriguing. I doubt that most of it could be sold in the US, but it is an attractive possibility.
My comment stemmed from the answer that in Finland every expectant mother gets a box with basics. That means the government knows everyone who is pregnant and acts on a public health measure in light of that knowledge , apparently regardless if it is a street person or a medical student.
Thanks! I agree that a lot of it couldn't be sold in the U.S.
Julie

Chicago, IL

#8 Jun 29, 2013
LW1: Please do the planet a favor and don't breed. Ever.
boundary painter

Waco, TX

#9 Jun 30, 2013
Unfortunately, LW1 and LW2 might just marry those
irritating men and send in some update letters for
readers to shake their heads and laugh at.
not a ghost

San Antonio, TX

#10 Jul 1, 2013
boundary painter wrote:
Unfortunately, LW1 and LW2 might just marry those
irritating men and send in some update letters for
readers to shake their heads and laugh at.
For LW2 is that "George" or the boyfriend?
boundary painter

Waco, TX

#11 Jul 1, 2013
not a ghost wrote:
<quoted text>
For LW2 is that "George" or the boyfriend?
Good question. She might or might not marry either guy.

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