“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#1 Jul 26, 2014
DEAR ABBY: I am an 18-year-old high school senior who is scared about what's going to happen after graduation. For the past three years I have known exactly where I'll be and what I will be doing in the general sense. Now that I have one more year to go, I'm worried that I won't know what to do or how to do it when I graduate. I have talked to counselors and my dad, but they all say the same thing. Do you have any advice?-- UNEASY IN IDAHO

DEAR UNEASY: Sit down someplace quiet and make a list of what your interests and talents are. If necessary, next year visit the career counseling department of your nearest community college or university and take some aptitude tests. This will give you an idea of what direction you may want to take in deciding what you should do next.

Unlike in generations past, people today sometimes change careers several times in their working lives, so don't be afraid that you'll be stuck in some unpleasant rut forever. The more you learn and the more people you meet, the greater your options will be, so stop worrying.

DEAR ABBY: In 1972 when I was 12, my father found out that I was gay, although that wasn't the word he used. After a severe beating that landed me in the hospital, I realized that to survive I was going to have to live "straight." Eventually I married, and for almost 25 years I was relatively happy. My wife died of cancer five years ago, and now I need to move on.

Can someone my age enter gay society? One thing I have noticed is that it can be more difficult for older gay men than straight. Any suggestions or should I just continue living the lie?-- AT A CROSSROADS IN MINNESOTA

DEAR AT A CROSSROADS: The gay community may be biased toward youth, but that doesn't mean it is impossible to be a part of it. You have "served your time" hiding in the straight world. Contact the nearest gay and lesbian center and talk to someone there about your chances of successfully integrating. I'm sure you will be pleasantly surprised because most centers have programs for LGBT people of all ages.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 30-year-old woman. I take care of myself, exercise regularly and have a healthy diet. I'm naturally very thin, and the diet and exercise actually help me to gain and keep weight on my otherwise "skinny" frame.

My issue is people who seem to think my weight is an OK topic of discussion, light ridicule or even harsh accusation (anorexia, bulimia, etc.). I am self-conscious about my "chicken legs" and having a "bony butt." How can I tell people that commenting on my weight is rude without creating an issue or causing drama?-- WEIGHTY ISSUE IN D.C.

DEAR WEIGHTY ISSUE: Of course it's rude, and the comments you're receiving may have in them an element of jealousy. A nonconfrontational way to handle it would be to pleasantly assure these concerned individuals that your doctor has assured you that you are fine. Then change the subject.

“On Deck”

Since: Aug 08

French Polynesia

#2 Jul 26, 2014
L3. You need to learn how to tactfully point out other people's glaring flaws when they start taking cheap shots.
Or don't acknowledge them at all.
Don't bring up your doctor though. That is bad form.
Cass

Rancho Cucamonga, CA

#3 Jul 26, 2014
LW1 - This is normal. What does your dad and your counselor say? You reported them saying "the same thing." What is the thing? You should try getting a job and go to a junior college part-time if you can. That can help you discover what you want to do.

LW2 - Contact your local LGBT organization. They have resources.

LW3 - Ignore the loafs. Give them a cold stare and say that you do not invite personal comments on your appearance.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Lawrence, MA

#4 Jul 26, 2014
2- relax, there's even a term for people like you. You're a bear daddy. Find a twink

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#5 Jul 26, 2014
L3 So what if the LW is the niece about whom the LW is today's Amy is worried?

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#6 Jul 26, 2014
2 Look at it this way, even if you were out of the closet since '72, you would still be just as old now as if you were straight, and the gay society would still be just as biased and exclusionary towards you, so either way you lose.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#7 Jul 26, 2014
Cass wrote:
LW1 - This is normal.
I dunno if it's THAT normal. Usually by 18 and your senior year, you have SOME inkling of what you want to do, be it going to college, trade school, the military, straight into the job force, whatever. The fact this person is completely lost and frantic about graduating and has no clue about what to do after high school tells me this person is an idiot
not a ghost

San Antonio, TX

#8 Jul 26, 2014
Team Cass for a triple win!
Cass

Rancho Cucamonga, CA

#9 Jul 26, 2014
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
I dunno if it's THAT normal. Usually by 18 and your senior year, you have SOME inkling of what you want to do, be it going to college, trade school, the military, straight into the job force, whatever. The fact this person is completely lost and frantic about graduating and has no clue about what to do after high school tells me this person is an idiot
Eh. It's pretty normal. Or at least not that unusual. Some kids have it together, and some don't. The ones that plan to get jobs are panicked by the lack of jobs available to them. The ones going to college are panicked by all the majors and by not knowing which one to choose, or choosing something that they *thought* they wanted to do and finding out that it is not their cup of tea after all. Not knowing what you want to do when you grow up when the world tells you you've grown up is pretty panic-creating.

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