Topix Chitown Regulars

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#99588 Jul 9, 2014
Okay, and just got an invitation to my niece's gay wedding. Of course I have no intention of going, but I don't want her to ostracize me over it. Any suggestions on how to avoid it? It's in two months, a little early to tell her I already have plans on that particular day?

Since: Feb 08

Location hidden

#99589 Jul 9, 2014
edogxxx wrote:
Okay, and just got an invitation to my niece's gay wedding. Of course I have no intention of going, but I don't want her to ostracize me over it. Any suggestions on how to avoid it? It's in two months, a little early to tell her I already have plans on that particular day?
Why not tell her the truth?
You don't believe she should have equal rights, and celebrating her commitment to someone she loves would make it seem as if you supported her being treated as an equal human being.
Oh, right, you don't want to admit you're a spineless bigot.
Zap Brannigan

United States

#99590 Jul 9, 2014
You really need to widen you sources of information and quit just relying on Fox News. Not only did Big Oil stop denying climate change, they are some of the biggest developers of renewable energy.
edogxxx wrote:
I have no problem with taking "reasonable" steps to curb pollution. What I have a problem with is UNreasonable steps. The myth of global warming is being used to push an agenda of shutting down oil refineries, coal plants, forcing everyone into electric cars, etc. It has nothing to do with "saving the planet," and everything to do with control.

“Checks and Balances”

Since: Apr 13

Location hidden

#99591 Jul 9, 2014
edogxxx wrote:
Okay, and just got an invitation to my niece's gay wedding. Of course I have no intention of going, but I don't want her to ostracize me over it. Any suggestions on how to avoid it? It's in two months, a little early to tell her I already have plans on that particular day?
Is this a serious question?

RSVP as soon as possible with your regrets. No explanation needed, just that you won't be able to attend. If she calls to talk to you personally, own your decision. You can say that you love her, but you don't support her right to get married.

Don't be unnecessarily hurtful, but don't be a coward, either.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#99592 Jul 9, 2014
ScarletandOlive wrote:
You can say that you love her, but you don't support her right to get married.
That's exactly what might cause a rift
ScarletandOlive wrote:
Don't be unnecessarily hurtful, but don't be a coward, either.

Is it cowardly to maintain family unity?

This is my conundrum. Can't say I have other plans, because oh, that's more important than my niece's big day? Can't say I can't support a redefinition of marriage because, well that would make me a spineless/bigoted/homophobe/wh o want's to deny equality, then my only niece and the daughter of my deceased brother might decide to cut me from her life

Need some real solutions here, and yes, this is for real. Can't post this on FB because she's a friend. Talked to two other people and the only advice I got was "That's a tough one, gee, don't know what you do there." I'll talk it out to some people some more, still have until next month to RSVP, but just wanted to see if you fine folks had anything to offer right away

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#99593 Jul 9, 2014
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
That's exactly what might cause a rift
<quoted text>
Is it cowardly to maintain family unity?
This is my conundrum. Can't say I have other plans, because oh, that's more important than my niece's big day? Can't say I can't support a redefinition of marriage because, well that would make me a spineless/bigoted/homophobe/wh o want's to deny equality, then my only niece and the daughter of my deceased brother might decide to cut me from her life
Need some real solutions here, and yes, this is for real. Can't post this on FB because she's a friend. Talked to two other people and the only advice I got was "That's a tough one, gee, don't know what you do there." I'll talk it out to some people some more, still have until next month to RSVP, but just wanted to see if you fine folks had anything to offer right away
Since she is family, your niece probably has some inkling how you feel.
I assume there are other members of the family who feel the way you do.

I agree with Jess. Be polite and respond simply that you will not be attending.

If, but only if, your sibling ( bride's parent) or the bride asks, there are ways to be honest but tactful.

"Look Lisa, I really love you, you're kin, and I think Julie is a nice girl, but I can't wrap my head around this gay marriage thing. When you get back from the honeymoon, give me a call and I'll do a bang up BBQ at my house for the two of you"

Send a gift from the gift registry and make a really great family BBQ

“2nd Time Trying Topix Account”

Since: Jun 14

Location hidden

#99594 Jul 10, 2014
Oh my! I had no idea taking a moment to speak a moment of truth about real rainbow would set off such an array of commentary!:)
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>I saw one too a couple years ago. Unfortunately I was at the Kennedy/Edens junction in traffic, so my glimpse was, alas fleeting. Welcome back. What do you compose?
When I was on the north side of life, the 94 junction wasn't pleasant on a good day...unless I had my motorcycle. Then it wasn't so bad. Still not good conditions to go rainbow searching. Hey! New law! No rainbow searching mandate! ;)

As for the "compose" part of my identity, I am in the throes of shifting my knowledge base from Writer Without A Paying Audience to Writer Possibly Earning Portions of Pennies for Composition. In other words, I have piles of content and no idea what I want to do with it!:)
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>But the House Republicans are suppressing that info to make Obama look like a failure
<groan> I should have known someone would find a political twist to an otherwise non-political testimony. Speaking of political, love your keyword under your name! Did research on what those were a few years back when I was busy trying to correlate the pace and path of political relationships between the State of Chicago and the State of Illinois. I was living down in Springfield at the time and what a HUGE shift in pace from Chicago! But a Derecho seemed to fit far better than describing our politics as cliched hurricanes and tornados.:) Straight through, running over everything in its path and always one way no matter which side it originated on.

Also, not only can you step on legos at night, lest we forget pets and their swallowing potentials. Perhaps now that we have mandatory health care insurance (i.e. empty promisory notes), it would behoove us (economically, of course) mandate pet health care insurance?

Lastly, I heard on the news tonight that the EPA apparently can fine people (including corporations assuming you embrace the Supreme Court ruling on the matter) AND demand an employer to immediately surrender the wages of the individual(s) being fined.

Surely it is this type of legislation that is the polar vortex of the pollution issue? As you argue the closing of mines are detrimental on a variety of large scale matters, health care costs are now more intricately woven into our nations economy than ever before imaginable. Is it not of good cause and reason to insist that the mind power of well over 1 million PhD's is vested in measures of improvement so as to perhaps forestall yet another microbe or two a from placing on this timeline we acknowledge in some capacity with clear and stated intent that such efforts must focus on the forestalling of cataclysmic event?

Let's say you are right about our climate having already changed drastically over the millennia. Leave room for all other calendars and there still is ability to trace over time clear outlines around serious shifts in land mass through markers such as rising and falling water lines, or as some are presenting through referencing spreadsheet tallies regarding the polar ice caps.

“2nd Time Trying Topix Account”

Since: Jun 14

Location hidden

#99595 Jul 10, 2014
Now I know nothing about polar ice caps except the pictures I've seen of penguins and seals are quite cute. What I do know is that I once thought the cloud coming out of a smokestack was actually a tornado cloud during my first few weeks in Springfield and it took me almost 10 minutes of staring at it, trying to determine if it was going to come after me, intermixed with fears of being struck by lightening. BTW, when I realized there was no tornado, I proceeded to get home as slowly as I possibly could, in the sense I was beyond anxious to park my car while being totally unwilling to drive in a rainstorm that could have been in Chicago, at least in ferocity.

What I do know is if there is no power, many scientists would not be able to continue their work and we wouldn't be chatting it out on a public forum. I guess my question would be, why do we not push to inspire those monumental types of breakthroughs and instead argue advancements in improving quality of life is somehow always guaranteed to be lethal to capitalism?

Thoughts?

“Checks and Balances”

Since: Apr 13

Location hidden

#99596 Jul 10, 2014
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>That's exactly what might cause a rift

ScarletandOlive wrote, "
Don't be unnecessarily hurtful, but don't be a coward, either."


Is it cowardly to maintain family unity?

This is my conundrum. Can't say I have other plans, because oh, that's more important than my niece's big day? Can't say I can't support a redefinition of marriage because, well that would make me a spineless/bigoted/homophobe/wh o want's to deny equality, then my only niece and the daughter of my deceased brother might decide to cut me from her life

Need some real solutions here, and yes, this is for real. Can't post this on FB because she's a friend. Talked to two other people and the only advice I got was "That's a tough one, gee, don't know what you do there." I'll talk it out to some people some more, still have until next month to RSVP, but just wanted to see if you fine folks had anything to offer right away
If family unity is the most important thing to you, then you suck it up and go because you recognize that your niece's happiness and family unity are more important than your political views.

Like I said earlier, if you absolutely won't go, then just send your regrets without explanation. Yay for RSVP cards. I'm sure that your family knows how you feel about same sex marriage and they won't question why you aren't there.

Please know that not going to this wedding IS going to affect your relationship with your niece, even without explanation. That is why I think your niece deserves your honesty if she talks to you directly. Knowing that you feel so strongly about this issue that you can't even consider your niece's feelings before your own on this one day is something that can be discussed in a conversation that does not devolve into name calling. She may respond better to your open dialogue than your flimsy excuses, though it will be tough for her (and many other family members) to come to terms with your concept of family unity.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#99597 Jul 10, 2014
http://www.topix.com/forum/chicago/TPSAI752FP...

Abby

http://www.topix.com/forum/chicago/TBNTPBLMRV...

Amy

Race- I think I found an explanation to your observation that these are repeat columns.

Amy has a syndication website which posts her columns in batches. The various papers post one column per day. If a paper publishes i advance ( which is usually against the rules of the syndication agreement) or if you saw the columns on the syndication website, you would be getting a preview in a manner of speaking.

For example, the Amy column which is in the papers for 7-10 was posted 6-26 on the syndicate website

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#99598 Jul 10, 2014
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
That's exactly what might cause a rift
<quoted text>
Is it cowardly to maintain family unity?
This is my conundrum. Can't say I have other plans, because oh, that's more important than my niece's big day? Can't say I can't support a redefinition of marriage because, well that would make me a spineless/bigoted/homophobe/wh o want's to deny equality, then my only niece and the daughter of my deceased brother might decide to cut me from her life
Need some real solutions here, and yes, this is for real. Can't post this on FB because she's a friend. Talked to two other people and the only advice I got was "That's a tough one, gee, don't know what you do there." I'll talk it out to some people some more, still have until next month to RSVP, but just wanted to see if you fine folks had anything to offer right away
Get your butt to that wedding. You go to support your NIECE not any political agenda. THAT'S why she'll be super angry -- refusing to support HER.

Can't you even separate your biggotted beliefs from the people you love? I think you can't b/c you know your thought process on this issue is invalid.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

United States

#99599 Jul 10, 2014
I suppose to maintain unity I'll have to go. But suppose a family member invited you to a global warming denyer convention? Or say they legalized puppy killing and you were invited to a puppy killing party? Would you go to support your family member? This is what I'm dealing with.
current crisis

Guangzhou, China

#99600 Jul 10, 2014
"I suppose to maintain unity I'll have to go. But suppose a family member invited you to a global warming denyer convention? Or say they legalized puppy killing and you were invited to a puppy killing party? Would you go to support your family member? This is what I'm dealing with."

We have got to stop the flow of undocumented opinions from Uranus!

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#99601 Jul 10, 2014
edogxxx wrote:
I suppose to maintain unity I'll have to go. But suppose a family member invited you to a global warming denyer convention? Or say they legalized puppy killing and you were invited to a puppy killing party? Would you go to support your family member? This is what I'm dealing with.
Really? This is what you think is an apples to apples comparison? If someone invited me to a puppy killin party I would have no problem telling them what a sick fluck I think they are. Maintaining a relationship or family unity with that person would not be on my priority list.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

United States

#99602 Jul 10, 2014
I'm not comparing the two. The comparison is, would you support something you are against for the sake of keeping the peace?

Since: Feb 08

Location hidden

#99603 Jul 10, 2014
Oh, what a coward you are, dog.
Spineless and without any honour, whatsoever.
Just tell her the truth and take your lumps.
Snivelling little waste of space is what you are.
Really?
Your comparison equalling puppy killing to equal rights is something you should tell her, too. She has the right to know what sort of POS you are, so she can make sure any children she has in the future are shielded from you.
Seriously. I wouldn't want my kids or grandkids around you. Not until they were old enough to know what a piece of work you are.

Since: Feb 08

Location hidden

#99604 Jul 10, 2014
edogxxx wrote:
I'm not comparing the two. The comparison is, would you support something you are against for the sake of keeping the peace?
LIAR. You just DID compare the two!
Really, do you ever listen to the shyte you spew?

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#99605 Jul 10, 2014
edogxxx wrote:
I'm not comparing the two. The comparison is, would you support something you are against for the sake of keeping the peace?
All depends on what that something is. And I don't equate mere attendance at a function with support.

If someone I cared for was marrying an abuser, not something I would be in favor of, but I would not skip the wedding.

I can stand by and watch people make decisions for their own lives thst I would not make in mine.

Since: Jan 14

Location hidden

#99606 Jul 10, 2014
edogxxx wrote:
I'm not comparing the two. The comparison is, would you support something you are against for the sake of keeping the peace?
You were sort of comparing using ridiculous examples. Get it out of your head that you are supporting an agenda. You are supporting your niece, your family, who doesn't have her father there for her. You would be representing him, I would think.
Sometimes its not all about you. Show some maturity and smile. You don't have to gush over the happy couple but just be respectful.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#99607 Jul 10, 2014
edogxxx wrote:
I'm not comparing the two. The comparison is, would you support something you are against for the sake of keeping the peace?
So when you go to the store do you find out what the owner's/shareholder's political policies are before you buy something?

When you buy gas, do you realize most big oil companies give to both Republicans and Democrats so in essence some of your dollars are going to support Democrats? Ooooh, that's a good one!

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