Topix Chitown Regulars

Since: Mar 09

Hollywood, FL

#96157 Feb 19, 2014
Prudie is sort of a doozy today too:

http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prude...

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#96158 Feb 19, 2014
Work on your cognizant abilities. They are both saying the same thing.
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Work on your reading comprehension, I said "Moon."

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#96159 Feb 19, 2014
Mmmmm Toilet water....
j_m_w wrote:
Prudie is sort of a doozy today too:
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prude...

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

#96160 Feb 19, 2014
RACE wrote:
Work on your cognizant abilities. They are both saying the same thing.
<quoted text>
I have heard Moon spout hate speech of those who don't think like her. I haven't heard that from Abby.

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#96161 Feb 19, 2014
But both are labeling you a bigot homophobe.
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
I have heard Moon spout hate speech of those who don't think like her. I haven't heard that from Abby.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#96162 Feb 19, 2014
Prudie 1st Letter
Dirty Problem: I used to be a live-in nanny for the world's most annoying, inconsiderate, intolerant, and rude couple. I stuck through for three months, but had to quit for my own mental health. During this time, I occasionally took revenge by sneaking into their bathroom and dipping their toothbrushes in the toilet. The wife kept a drink bottle by the bedside table and I also put some toilet water into it as well. It made me feel better about my crappy situation at the time but now that I've quit (and regained some of my sanity), I'm consumed with guilt. I heard from a mutual acquaintance that both of them are having some kind of health problems—exactly what, I don't know—and I'm worried I may have caused this. Should I call and confess? We didn't exactly leave on good terms.

Gross!

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#96163 Feb 19, 2014
Prudie 2d Letter:
Q. Parents and Finance: I graduated a year ago from college. It took me most of 2013 to find my financial footing by landing my first real career-oriented job. My new job doesn't pay as much as I would like, but what it lacks in a high salary, it pays in excellent training and experience. I'm proud to say that I paid for my own college education—I worked part-time and summer jobs, I saved everywhere I could, and I took out my own student loans. In that same time my parents wrote a different story. They overspent on a new mortgage, they bought expensive cars, purchased designer clothing, and made a lot of the same pre-2008 mistakes other middle-class families had made. It's now the beginning of the new year, they've both lost their jobs, and they are straight up broke. I haven't even made my second paycheck yet and they're asking me for help. I want to help, but I also want them to know that they're asking a lot from me without sounding vindictive. I'm not sure how to voice myself to them. I don't simply want to give them money, but I don't want to completely shame them. How shall I approach them about their poor past behavior?

Yes you do want to shame them.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#96164 Feb 19, 2014
Prudie 3rd Letter
Q. Cultural Differences—Mother-in-Law: My mother-in-law is from the Southern U.S., where it is common for children to address all adults as sir and ma'am. I am from New England, where we currently live with our two children. My in-laws are correcting our children whenever they visit (they are 4 and 2) and prodding them to say "yes, sir," etc., whenever a yes or no is expected. This is not something my husband and I had decided to do, and to me it seems downright inappropriate to expect of young children. My husband is still sentimental for the South, and is happy to go along with them. What should we do?

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#96165 Feb 19, 2014
Prudie 4th Letter
Q. Depression: I think I need help. I'm 30 years old, 8 months pregnant, and have a sweet 2-year-old and a good husband. And many days, I want to kill myself after the baby is born. I worked from home, but we had to move closer to my parents because Mom has cancer and Dad has Alzheimer’s. We can't get DSL here, so I can't work from home anymore. I still do 99 percent of the housework and cooking and am solely responsible for getting up at night with and taking care of our 2-year-old. My husband works and pays for electric, cable, and phone bills. I pay the mortgage, babysitter, and Internet, and buy groceries. I've racked up $4,800 in credit card debt, though I now am able to keep to a budget. If I kill myself, they will get enough to pay off the house, my credit card, and have some extra. There's a two-year suicide exclusion on my life policies, but I've had them much longer than that. My husband could find someone else to be a mother to the kids, probably better than I could be. He says I'm the grumpiest person he's ever known. Some days I wonder why I shouldn't kill myself. Life would be better for my family.

:(

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#96166 Feb 19, 2014
Prudie 5th Letter
Q: My father cheated on my mother repeatedly during their marriage, which she was in some denial about. He cheated with our neighbor during my senior year of high school. By the end of the school year, he asked my mother for a divorce and ended up marrying the neighbor immediately after the divorce was finalized without telling either of his children. They had a wedding ceremony later and I bit my tongue and attended since it was important to him. My younger brother refused to attend. Ever since then Dad has tried to push us to have a new happy family with his new wife and her two adult children. My brother and I both resented this, but I was always polite in order to preserve my relationship with my father. I would like to finally talk to my father about my feelings. I am 30 years old and engaged. I would like to ask that my father not bring his new family to the wedding. I will make it clear to him that the decision is up to him and I will respect it and be polite either way. However, I just feel that I do not want one of his mistresses at the event where I promise fidelity in front of God and family. It would be much easier on my mother and brother if she were not there. Is this a reasonable conversation to have?

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#96167 Feb 19, 2014
I liked Prudie's answer to this one. You'll have to check the answer yourself. Here's the letter:
Q. Relationship With Student: I am a 30-year-old married college teacher and a mother. I have recently developed a platonic relationship with one of my students. He is 19 years old and is quite smart and intelligent for his age. We chat, through Facebook mostly, about topics related to what I teach (philosophy, history, literature, current events) and we seem to have connected intellectually in many aspects. I have conversations with him I don't even have with my husband and it has been very mentally stimulating. I find myself feeling guilty about this relationship, as if I were cheating on my husband because I found someone that fulfills something in me that he doesn't. I consider myself a woman of morality and integrity, but I am also frightened that this might develop into something else if the boundaries are blurry. Am I wrong for having this relationship?

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#96168 Feb 19, 2014
I'm bored. Too many damn letters!

Since: Jun 09

Saint Petersburg, FL

#96169 Feb 19, 2014
Prudie 3: How is it inappropriate to teach young children to use terms of respect? As Boundary Painter would say, this LW gives the NE a bad name. I am from the NE and we don't really use sir and ma'am, but I DO see it as a charming show of respect. I bet LW doesn't expect her kids to say Yes PLEASE and No THANK YOU. She might think it's inappropriate for young kids to learn those manners, too. She's a clod raising 2 more clods.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

#96170 Feb 19, 2014
RACE wrote:
But both are labeling you a bigot homophobe.
<quoted text>
I don't think Abby actually said that, but if that's how she feels, then yes, she's a hateful bigot too

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#96171 Feb 19, 2014
This is what I am gonna do to all of you peeps, so be warned!
If you cant sing my praises, then just keep your yap shut.
http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/exclusive...

“Checks and Balances”

Since: Apr 13

Location hidden

#96172 Feb 19, 2014
Stina2 wrote:
Prudie 3: How is it inappropriate to teach young children to use terms of respect? As Boundary Painter would say, this LW gives the NE a bad name. I am from the NE and we don't really use sir and ma'am, but I DO see it as a charming show of respect. I bet LW doesn't expect her kids to say Yes PLEASE and No THANK YOU. She might think it's inappropriate for young kids to learn those manners, too. She's a clod raising 2 more clods.
I have been yelled at by some people for calling them ma'am. I told them to get over it. Just because they are rude doesn't mean that I will be.

Some of it is generational, but there is definitely a lack of manners being taught in the NE. People comment on how polite my children are, then say it must be because I'm a teacher (I don't claim to be one) or I didn't grow up around here. Nope, it's just because I teach them manners and respect.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#96173 Feb 19, 2014
ScarletandOlive wrote:
<quoted text>
I have been yelled at by some people for calling them ma'am. I told them to get over it. Just because they are rude doesn't mean that I will be.
Some of it is generational, but there is definitely a lack of manners being taught in the NE. People comment on how polite my children are, then say it must be because I'm a teacher (I don't claim to be one) or I didn't grow up around here. Nope, it's just because I teach them manners and respect.
While I was never taught to spit out the sirs snd maams, I kinda fell into the habit in college just because I had a friend who tossed out a 'yes sir' or 'no sir' in casual conversation. Kinda rubbed off on me. So I'm certainly not knocking it, but are you really saying you consider it rude to NOT speak that way?

Since: Mar 09

Hollywood, FL

#96174 Feb 19, 2014
I was raised in NJ so I didn't grow up with "sir" and "ma'am" but my ex-husband's family is from NC and VA so it was normal and expected for the kids to use them. But I once heard my ex's MOM call his DAD - her HUSBAND - sir. That struck me as odd.
cheluzal

Plant City, FL

#96175 Feb 19, 2014
ScarletandOlive wrote:
<quoted text>
I have been yelled at by some people for calling them ma'am. I told them to get over it. Just because they are rude doesn't mean that I will be.
Some of it is generational, but there is definitely a lack of manners being taught in the NE. People comment on how polite my children are, then say it must be because I'm a teacher (I don't claim to be one) or I didn't grow up around here. Nope, it's just because I teach them manners and respect.
*applause*
I had no idea using it could be seen as rude.
Of course, I had doors slam in my face up north whilst entering buildings....can't believe basic manners and treating people with a modicum of courtesy is seen as rude or unnecessary to some.
cheluzal

Plant City, FL

#96176 Feb 19, 2014
j_m_w wrote:
I was raised in NJ so I didn't grow up with "sir" and "ma'am" but my ex-husband's family is from NC and VA so it was normal and expected for the kids to use them. But I once heard my ex's MOM call his DAD - her HUSBAND - sir. That struck me as odd.
My mom says,"Yes, ma'am?" every time she answers a call from me. I use it with my students...it rolls out easily and is respectful, not submissive like it might appear in certain familial convos.

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