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“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

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#95298
Jan 10, 2014
 

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1

Why does a chicken coop only have two doors?

If it had four it'd be a sedan.

Since: Mar 09

West Palm Beach, FL

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#95299
Jan 10, 2014
 
So I took my car for an unintentional swim on a flooded road last night (we had an epic rainstorm... schools are closed today, there's flood-related debris everywhere, etc.). It's at the dealership now, waiting first for the insurance adjuster and then for repairs.

This happened mere hours after exchanging emails with a friend about how I miss my little sports car from a few years ago. Be careful what you wish for....

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

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#95300
Jan 10, 2014
 
Kid: "Dad, have you ever read 'Harry Potter?'"

Dad: "No, but I've read 'Furry Ceramicsworker.' It's the adult version."

“Licensed to Ill”

Since: Aug 08

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#95302
Jan 10, 2014
 
j_m_w wrote:
So I took my car for an unintentional swim on a flooded road last night (we had an epic rainstorm... schools are closed today, there's flood-related debris everywhere, etc.). It's at the dealership now, waiting first for the insurance adjuster and then for repairs.
This happened mere hours after exchanging emails with a friend about how I miss my little sports car from a few years ago. Be careful what you wish for....
That can be dangerous. At least you are okay. Cars can be fixed or replaced.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

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#95303
Jan 10, 2014
 
Those actually weren't too bad. Shared them with some people at work and got a few laughs

Since: Mar 09

West Palm Beach, FL

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#95304
Jan 10, 2014
 
Sublime1 wrote:
<quoted text>
That can be dangerous. At least you are okay. Cars can be fixed or replaced.
Yep... at least no one was hurt, and so far no one (service people or insurance people) have mentioned the possibility of the car being totaled. Hopefully I'm just looking at a couple of weeks, max, without it, and paying my deductible.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

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#95305
Jan 10, 2014
 
j_m_w wrote:
So I took my car for an unintentional swim on a flooded road last night (we had an epic rainstorm... schools are closed today, there's flood-related debris everywhere, etc.). It's at the dealership now, waiting first for the insurance adjuster and then for repairs.
This happened mere hours after exchanging emails with a friend about how I miss my little sports car from a few years ago. Be careful what you wish for....
Wondered where you been. Sorry about all that. Next time, try not to drive through a flooded road

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

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#95306
Jan 10, 2014
 
j_m_w wrote:
So I took my car for an unintentional swim on a flooded road last night (we had an epic rainstorm... schools are closed today, there's flood-related debris everywhere, etc.). It's at the dealership now, waiting first for the insurance adjuster and then for repairs.
This happened mere hours after exchanging emails with a friend about how I miss my little sports car from a few years ago. Be careful what you wish for....
Yikes. Did Florida feel left out when the rest of the country was having shyte weather earlier this week or something? Glad you're okay!

Since: Jun 09

Saint Petersburg, FL

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#95307
Jan 10, 2014
 
j_m_w wrote:
<quoted text>
Yep... at least no one was hurt, and so far no one (service people or insurance people) have mentioned the possibility of the car being totaled. Hopefully I'm just looking at a couple of weeks, max, without it, and paying my deductible.
Wow! I didn't know you guts were having such bad weather!!! I hope your car is OK! That's scary!!!

Since: Jun 09

Saint Petersburg, FL

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#95308
Jan 10, 2014
 
For you oldtimers - just had lunch with Flawless! It was great catching up with her!

Since: Mar 09

West Palm Beach, FL

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#95309
Jan 10, 2014
 
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Wondered where you been. Sorry about all that. Next time, try not to drive through a flooded road
But it's so exciting! And this is the first time the road/rain has ever won the battle.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

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#95310
Jan 10, 2014
 
Stina2 wrote:
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Wow! I didn't know you guts were having...
Are you calling us fat?

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

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#95311
Jan 10, 2014
 
40 degrees? Rain? We must be in the grips of a Tropical vortex
cheluzal

Plant City, FL

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#95312
Jan 10, 2014
 
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
heh luckily my nurse today showed me better how to use it. I was using it without both ends of the tube being hooked up last night!:) Once I used it correctly, it worked well!
Ha! Good.
Bro's was attached to his trach over his throat...we got annoyed (as did he) and would just rest it between pillows with the blue tubing blowing right in his face, rofl.
You get very creative to be as comfy as possible!
cheluzal

Plant City, FL

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#95313
Jan 10, 2014
 
Matilda77 wrote:
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Yikes. Did Florida feel left out when the rest of the country was having shyte weather earlier this week or something? Glad you're okay!
Eeek, hope not!
I just want something consistent. I hate cold but if it's cold, stay cold.
This 45 one day and 77 the next is annoying. It really ruins my clothes choices, lol!

Since: Oct 12

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#95314
Jan 10, 2014
 
Matilda77 wrote:
<quoted text>
Yikes. Did Florida feel left out when the rest of the country was having shyte weather earlier this week or something? Glad you're okay!
On the local news down here, areas of Boynton Beach and Delray Beach got 21 inches of rain in 7 hours.....it's sad when people's engines die, from trying to drive thru it.....a lady drove into a lake and died, not knowing..where the road ended in a strange neighborhood.......

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

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#95315
Jan 10, 2014
 
cheluzal wrote:
<quoted text>
Eeek, hope not!
I just want something consistent. I hate cold but if it's cold, stay cold.
This 45 one day and 77 the next is annoying. It really ruins my clothes choices, lol!
We went from -17 Tuesday to 40ish today. I'm still wearing the same thing, but invariably when the temp jumps like that, everybody gets nasty colds.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

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#95316
Jan 10, 2014
 
Pick up lines for accountants during tax season

10."You've got a lovely pair of W-2's."

9."Please, baby, let me withhold you."

8."Technically, having sex with me is a charitable gift."

7."In my office,'I.R.S.' stands for 'I'm really sexy.' "

6."If I help you screw Uncle Sam, can I be next?"

5."You're entitled to a $5,000 tax break on your municipal bond income...now let's do it."

4."Let's fill out a 1040 -- you're a 10, and I'm 40."

3."You're the kind of girl I could take home to mother - which is good, since I still live with her."

2."Lady, you make my pants file for an extension."

1."Nice assets."

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

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#95317
Jan 11, 2014
 

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

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#95319
Jan 11, 2014
 
Did not realize Ariel Sharon had been in a coma for the last 8 years. I need to get a living will, because eff that.

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