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“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

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#90773
Sep 4, 2013
 
Another post by her.

" That's just it, there are other expenses to living besides rent and I have no problem with assisting with those. That is his house and if it doesn't work I paid rent to pad his account and have to come up with first , last and deposit to move else where. WHY SHOULD HE GAIN FINANCIALLY TO LIVE WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND!!!!"

Conveniently overlooking the fact that she wants the financial gain of not paying rent for living with her boyfriend.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

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#90774
Sep 5, 2013
 
Amy

http://www.topix.com/forum/chicago/T9123RPL1J...

Abby

http://www.topix.com/forum/chicago/TIUJC9S6UK...

I always love that knock on the door at 1:30 in the morning by a sobbing woman who was beaten by her boyfriend. How's everybody else's morning!?

Since: Jan 10

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#90775
Sep 5, 2013
 
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>Where do you get that he has no mortgage? I "own" my home too, but I'll be paying a mortgage for another 15-20 years.
Good catch. I just read it as he has paid off his mortgage but I think I was wrong to read it that way.

However, I don't think she should pay half his mortgage. First of all, what if his mortgage is rather high, and half is more than she'd be paying in rent at an apartment of her choosing? I think she should pay something, and not some piddly amount like $200/month. But I also think he should cut her a break for a couple of months while she looks for another job.

But I also think rent isn't the issue. She wants to move in with it leading to marriage and babies, and she doesn't know that that is his plan. They need to talk about the future.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#90776
Sep 5, 2013
 
I dont know why this woman expects that she should be allowed to live anywhere rent free. If she was not unemployed would she still expect to not pay rent and pocket all that rent money for herself? Kind of a double standard aint it? Complain about the guy's success and how good he has it, but no mention about how she will save $15K for herself by living with him.

She should contribute to the household. If you want to label that as rent or roof repairs, it does not matter, just kick in the coin.
Mister Tonka wrote:
Should my boyfriend charge me rent?
http://www.yelp.com/topic/los-angeles-should-...
Thoughts?

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#90777
Sep 5, 2013
 
He did not say half his mortage, he said...
"you can pay the same that your paying now to your current roommate, I wouldn't ask you for anymore than that" So, since she already has a roommate that could be quite low.

The more I read, the whinier she gets.
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
Good catch. I just read it as he has paid off his mortgage but I think I was wrong to read it that way.
However, I don't think she should pay half his mortgage. First of all, what if his mortgage is rather high, and half is more than she'd be paying in rent at an apartment of her choosing? I think she should pay something, and not some piddly amount like $200/month. But I also think he should cut her a break for a couple of months while she looks for another job.
But I also think rent isn't the issue. She wants to move in with it leading to marriage and babies, and she doesn't know that that is his plan. They need to talk about the future.

“Call me Walter”

Since: Nov 10

Dyersburg, TN

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#90778
Sep 5, 2013
 
A noted observer wrote:
<quoted text>Well, you are an idiot if you think I meant that literally "god-like" rather than assigning them the ultimate power of life and death...like a god would have. But, would you do it yourself? I get that you would sit back while others did it for or, even TO you if they- as the mob- reached a decision about you or anyone else.
Now, maybe I am wrong that a civilized society should have laws and punishments and governments deciding these things? It's not perfect like you think lynch mob or prison justice is. Evidently you see nothing wrong with putting a murderer in prison and allowing him to murder again because he may do some of his murdering for societies benefit. Not me. If the guy likes to murder he should be denied that opportunity in prison.
It's a slippery slope. One can go to prison for vigilante justice and then be killed, in prison, by vigilantes there. That's some irony! Boy, whoever said "don't commit crime" really nailed it! And, I might add, stay away from mobs seeking *justice*....
I thought you said you were in NC or something like that? You are just one big "web" of deceit lol.

Get it spider monkey?

Since: Jan 10

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#90780
Sep 5, 2013
 
RACE wrote:
He did not say half his mortage, he said...
"you can pay the same that your paying now to your current roommate, I wouldn't ask you for anymore than that" So, since she already has a roommate that could be quite low.
The more I read, the whinier she gets.
<quoted text>
Thanks for that (I didn't care enough to go back and re-read the original thing from last night).

So her current rent could be $500, and his mortgage payment could be $2,000, so that's still a good deal for her. I don't think he's wrong to think she should pay something to live with him. I still think they need to talk about their futures.

Since: Jan 10

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#90781
Sep 5, 2013
 
This week's Dear Prudence column, for those who are bored enough to read more::)

http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prude...

Since: Jan 10

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#90782
Sep 5, 2013
 
Dear Prudie:

L1: This is a nightmare for you only if you allow it to be. Your father's legal mess will not cost you any money unless you hire an attorney to sue his estate for something. Otherwise, it's only as much of a headache as you allow it to be.

At any rate, I Think what you're really worried about is, when your dad dies, you want to be sure you get your full fair share of what he's acquired and earned over his lifetime. That's what's really motivating you here. And I think your dad has you pegged.

L2: Holy crap. Either show him the video (forward the email so he knows she sent it to you), or act like you saw nothing, and never, ever be alone with her or do or say anything she can use against you. She is nuts.

L3: It's really not your call. The baby should be put up for adoption, but good luck with that.

L4: Use her toothbrush to clean that toilet. And if she hassles you again, wipe your ass with her pillow case. She is nuts. EVERYBODY leaves marks in the bowl now and then. It's not just you. Does your wife not poop?

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#90783
Sep 5, 2013
 
Agreed, her future is all about marriage and babies, not contributing financially.
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
Thanks for that (I didn't care enough to go back and re-read the original thing from last night).
So her current rent could be $500, and his mortgage payment could be $2,000, so that's still a good deal for her. I don't think he's wrong to think she should pay something to live with him. I still think they need to talk about their futures.

Since: Jan 10

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#90784
Sep 5, 2013
 
RACE wrote:
Agreed, her future is all about marriage and babies, not contributing financially.
<quoted text>
She does come off as seeing her boyfriend as a dollar sign.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

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#90785
Sep 5, 2013
 
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
Dear Prudie:
L1: This is a nightmare for you only if you allow it to be. Your father's legal mess will not cost you any money unless you hire an attorney to sue his estate for something. Otherwise, it's only as much of a headache as you allow it to be.
At any rate, I Think what you're really worried about is, when your dad dies, you want to be sure you get your full fair share of what he's acquired and earned over his lifetime. That's what's really motivating you here. And I think your dad has you pegged.
L2: Holy crap. Either show him the video (forward the email so he knows she sent it to you), or act like you saw nothing, and never, ever be alone with her or do or say anything she can use against you. She is nuts.
L3: It's really not your call. The baby should be put up for adoption, but good luck with that.
L4: Use her toothbrush to clean that toilet. And if she hassles you again, wipe your ass with her pillow case. She is nuts. EVERYBODY leaves marks in the bowl now and then. It's not just you. Does your wife not poop?
L1 Unless he or your stepmom is a CPA, his Federal income taxes are probably a mess as well; his state property taxes are probably okay or the state would have done tax sales out from under him. His accountant should be the first line of contact. Also, although setting up a corporation can be done over the internet, an LLC ( a limited liability company) is a bit more complicated. From everything I have ever heard, anything to do with real estate must be on paper; those verbal and handshake deals don't count

Interviewing estate planners and i dragging him there is the same thing as trying to get a competent adult to see and listen to a doctor. If they don't want to, they don't have to and there is nothing you can do about it.

The best line of persuasion is probably scare him with how much tx he can save or obits from 65 year old guys/friends who suddenly croaked.

And if your dad is on the deed of your mom's house and she is not,, she needs to talk to someone because whoever owns the house could kick her out the moment he dies, no questions asked.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

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#90786
Sep 5, 2013
 
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
Dear Prudie:

L2: Holy crap. Either show him the video (forward the email so he knows she sent it to you), or act like you saw nothing, and never, ever be alone with her or do or say anything she can use against you. She is nuts.
L3: It's really not your call. The baby should be put up for adoption, but good luck with that.
L4: Use her toothbrush to clean that toilet. And if she hassles you again, wipe your ass with her pillow case. She is nuts. EVERYBODY leaves marks in the bowl now and then. It's not just you. Does your wife not poop?
L2. Destroy the video. Say nothing to your best friend. Verbally tell the girl to knock it off

Since: Aug 08

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#90787
Sep 5, 2013
 
A noted observer wrote:
<quoted text>
My beef is that people are so impotent that, rather than change the justice system, they try to satiate their own sense of justice by hoping criminals in prison mete out the harsh sentence that they had desired. I'm no fan of crime. I just don't think it should be compounded by having prisoners- the dregs of society- elevated to god-like status. I think that's a cop out. Those people are murderers and thieves- not USSC justices.
We have a thing called the Constitution, which prohibits cruel or unusual punishment. SCJs are required to uphold the law regardless of their personal beliefs.

IF the government shanked someone this would constitute cruel punishment, but personally, IMO, some folks deserve it. Folks who rape children ... those two guys in England who hacked that soldier to death with machetes ... I would not shed one tear to find out they met an violent and brutal death in prison.

Since: Jan 10

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#90788
Sep 5, 2013
 
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>
L2. Destroy the video. Say nothing to your best friend. Verbally tell the girl to knock it off
If she pulls something else, what would you suggest next?(I don't disagree with your advice here.)

Since: Jan 10

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#90789
Sep 5, 2013
 

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Sublime1 wrote:
<quoted text>
We have a thing called the Constitution, which prohibits cruel or unusual punishment. SCJs are required to uphold the law regardless of their personal beliefs.
IF the government shanked someone this would constitute cruel punishment, but personally, IMO, some folks deserve it. Folks who rape children ... those two guys in England who hacked that soldier to death with machetes ... I would not shed one tear to find out they met an violent and brutal death in prison.
Me neither. Live violently, die violently.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

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#90790
Sep 5, 2013
 
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
If she pulls something else, what would you suggest next?(I don't disagree with your advice here.)
There was a letter the other day where the wife told the husband to tell the friend Karen to knock off the touchy feely stuff. When Karen started hanging on the husband, literally, wife stormed over and told Karen off, loudly and in front of everyone.

Here, the verbal is a warning shot. The second time, requires disclosure, but it should be immediately after receipt and it should be clear that this LW isn't having any of the GF's BS. A warning shot allows the GF to say it went to the wrong email address, it was the wrong attachment whatever.It allows her to save face.

LW should start thinking how he is going to respond if his best friend asks him to be best man at the wedding to this broad.

Since: Jun 09

Saint Petersburg, FL

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#90791
Sep 5, 2013
 
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>
There was a letter the other day where the wife told the husband to tell the friend Karen to knock off the touchy feely stuff. When Karen started hanging on the husband, literally, wife stormed over and told Karen off, loudly and in front of everyone.
Here, the verbal is a warning shot. The second time, requires disclosure, but it should be immediately after receipt and it should be clear that this LW isn't having any of the GF's BS. A warning shot allows the GF to say it went to the wrong email address, it was the wrong attachment whatever.It allows her to save face.
LW should start thinking how he is going to respond if his best friend asks him to be best man at the wedding to this broad.
I haven't read the latest Prudie, but the one with Karen was nuts. The guy wanted to know if THEY should apologize to Karen!!! Wow!

Since: Jun 09

Saint Petersburg, FL

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#90792
Sep 5, 2013
 

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On Tonka's link, I thought it was great that the (now ex) bf posted. Gave a better perspective. I thought the gf was totally looking for a free ride. That made me mad. She'd have to pay rent somewhere and (esp after hearing from him), he wasn't askign a whole lot and wanted to put it into a general fund (and add to it, too). It's not a bad thing to expect someone to contribute. ANd, again, she'd have to pay it somewhere, and a lot more than what he was asking. In the end, it sounded like he DID want to plan for the future, but she ruined it by trying to mooch off of him. He dodged a bullet!!!

Since: Jan 10

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#90793
Sep 5, 2013
 
Stina2 wrote:
On Tonka's link, I thought it was great that the (now ex) bf posted. Gave a better perspective. I thought the gf was totally looking for a free ride. That made me mad. She'd have to pay rent somewhere and (esp after hearing from him), he wasn't askign a whole lot and wanted to put it into a general fund (and add to it, too). It's not a bad thing to expect someone to contribute. ANd, again, she'd have to pay it somewhere, and a lot more than what he was asking. In the end, it sounded like he DID want to plan for the future, but she ruined it by trying to mooch off of him. He dodged a bullet!!!
Thanks for the follow-up! I read a lot of comments but didn't get down that far. Most were in her favor, but a few guys were on the boyfriend's side.

I wonder if she'd have been so hyped up about moving in and having a future if he wasn't so well off.

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