Thanks for considering me reasonable!:DI think Stina also would identify more with the *reasonable* parent, not by gender, since she seems reasonable. I mean, I remember a couple of negative things about her ex, and we all vent in here about someone close to us/in our lives, but it's not like she's gone ragey on him in here. That tells me she's a reasonable person, and a reasonable person to co-parent with.
I didn't watch the video for lack of time, but from the synopsis, it sounds like the mom is way out of line. OBviously, there is a reason that the kid doensn't want to be there and the fact that she is calling the real dad by the first name and step dad as "dad" is a good peek into why. There are things you can "think" that you have to hold your tongue from saying.
Look, my ex hasn't had an actual job in over 5 years. He hasn't paid much of ANYTHING to my daughter's care in over 5 years. I got him to contribute $100 towards a dental issue, I got $10 one month towards her musical instrument rental (yes, once) and he has bought her 2 pairs of sneakers. I have a lot of "not so pleasant thoughts". But I use every ounce of strength not to vent my anger around my daughter. I do not attempt to keep them from each other because I don't feel that is fair to HER. I get frustrated that she doesn't see a good work ethic, so I try to model and teach her that much more (and I have a lot of help from my very stable, hard-working parents). But she loves her dad and I have to smile and deal for her sake. She knows a lot about who he is because she is insightful, but she is figuring it out on her own. It's best when he and I can get along and show up to school events or discuss times when she has issues and that she can see us figuring out how to work together (even if I *do* want to hit him with a frying pan most of the time). She wants to be with me more, so last year we moved from 50/50 to 2/3 and 1/3. And I know she wants one more day a week with me and that may happen. But he is always welcome and expected at her events and such.
It sounds like the mom in this video completely lost it. And then to try and coerce the other kids to get involved and trying to reach into the car. And it doesn't even sound like she was being sane enough to say, "Hey, let's all sit down for a half hour and talk about this and see what we can come up with". Of course, I think this situation has probably long passed that point! It's pretty bad when police have to be involved. What a mess for teh kids!