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“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Federal Way, WA

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#90242
Aug 26, 2013
 

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Stina2 wrote:
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THat's beyond crappy!!! You go out of your way to help people and ask for a pretty small favor in return... SMH I'd be royally pissed, too.
Yeah, and it's not like it's trivial or something, it's for tuition. Seriously I need 1130.00 and they can get it together AMONGST them to lend it to me. My one niece in Cali committed a couple hundred when it gets closer to time that it absolutely has to be in (end of September) but she's the only one. She didn't even ask me what I wanted it for. She is my favorite relative.

Even if it *was* frivolous (it's really tuition) I have never, ever told someone "no" when they wanted to borrow (when I had it of course) money for whatever they wanted to do. I don't care if it's for a car payment, rent, or going to Burger King and a movie, because I "get" that austerity is tough and once in a while you gotta do *something* fun even if you can't really afford it because otherwise we're just existing.

I get that so I've never been all juggy about stuff. But here I actually need tuition money, and after everything I've done...a LOAN for a FEW DAYS, and they can't/won't do it. Screw them

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Federal Way, WA

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#90243
Aug 26, 2013
 

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Matilda77 wrote:
Welp. That was the last straw. My SIL called J about some high school AP paperwork that she needed to get the right classes. Tried to blame him for her not knowing where it is. She's moving out at Christmas and we're getting counseling. As you might imagine, this whole thing has taken a toll on our marriage.
My reactions are good for you guys to go to counseling. Do it sooner rather than later. Don't wait until Christmas. Make her parents come and get her stuff. Reclaim your house now. Christmas is like 4 months away still.

And...how the hell is it his job to know where her paperwork is? Maybe she should just call her HS and pay whatever it is they charge for more paperwork. Like,...an adult.

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Federal Way, WA

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#90244
Aug 26, 2013
 
Matilda77 wrote:
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I hear you.*internet fistbump*
It's all about her making herself the victim to whoever will listen.
I think she needs help. Professional help. My armchair psychologist diagnosis is that all of this is a manifestation of the anger towards her parents and the way they raised her. Add to that the fact that she is of age and thinks she is an adult and she can "do what she wants" now... Of course I'm not a shrink, though I have taken way more psych classes than someone who is not a shrink should have.

http://www.diffen.com/difference/Psychopath_v...

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

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#90245
Aug 26, 2013
 
Mimi Seattle wrote:
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My reactions are good for you guys to go to counseling. Do it sooner rather than later. Don't wait until Christmas. Make her parents come and get her stuff. Reclaim your house now. Christmas is like 4 months away still.
And...how the hell is it his job to know where her paperwork is? Maybe she should just call her HS and pay whatever it is they charge for more paperwork. Like,...an adult.
Oh, counseling = now. I called my old shrink's office today.

I'm torn between making her move her own stuff or us doing it. It would be nice to have it out of my house, but...it's her crap and if she moves it, she can't (reasonably) blame anyone else for stuff missing or broken or whatever.

Since: Mar 09

West Palm Beach, FL

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#90246
Aug 26, 2013
 
Matilda77 wrote:
Welp. That was the last straw. My SIL called J about some high school AP paperwork that she needed to get the right classes. Tried to blame him for her not knowing where it is. She's moving out at Christmas and we're getting counseling. As you might imagine, this whole thing has taken a toll on our marriage.
Ugh. I'm *so* sorry that you guys are at the point of going to counseling over this, but GOOD FOR YOU to be doing it. Be as pro-active as possible and start putting each other and your marriage first. You both tried so hard with your SIL, were so generous and selfless, but it's at (or beyond... way beyond) the point that it's unhealthy for you and J.

Since: Jun 09

Saint Petersburg, FL

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#90247
Aug 26, 2013
 
Mimi Seattle wrote:
<quoted text>
Yeah, and it's not like it's trivial or something, it's for tuition. Seriously I need 1130.00 and they can get it together AMONGST them to lend it to me. My one niece in Cali committed a couple hundred when it gets closer to time that it absolutely has to be in (end of September) but she's the only one. She didn't even ask me what I wanted it for. She is my favorite relative.
Even if it *was* frivolous (it's really tuition) I have never, ever told someone "no" when they wanted to borrow (when I had it of course) money for whatever they wanted to do. I don't care if it's for a car payment, rent, or going to Burger King and a movie, because I "get" that austerity is tough and once in a while you gotta do *something* fun even if you can't really afford it because otherwise we're just existing.
I get that so I've never been all juggy about stuff. But here I actually need tuition money, and after everything I've done...a LOAN for a FEW DAYS, and they can't/won't do it. Screw them
It's just ridiculous - esp if you've been so easy and understanding! And, heck, you getting tuition means you can learn more and earn more to help them!:D It's jsut the principle and it IS why some people are just jerks. It's not even like you're trying to pull the "I'll pay you with my tax refund" scam. You are asking for FIVE days!

Since: Jun 09

Saint Petersburg, FL

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#90248
Aug 26, 2013
 
Here is a story of people who failed at a get rich scheme and are now suing because they didn't get rich!!! Oy!!! People make me so mad...

http://www.tampabay.com/news/courts/civil/pin...

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Federal Way, WA

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#90249
Aug 26, 2013
 
j_m_w wrote:
<quoted text>
Ugh. I'm *so* sorry that you guys are at the point of going to counseling over this, but GOOD FOR YOU to be doing it. Be as pro-active as possible and start putting each other and your marriage first. You both tried so hard with your SIL, were so generous and selfless, but it's at (or beyond... way beyond) the point that it's unhealthy for you and J.
I totally agree. Sometimes you just have to step back and say this is your problem and I cannot (will not) allow it to undermine my life.

Since: Jun 09

Saint Petersburg, FL

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#90250
Aug 26, 2013
 
Matilda77 wrote:
<quoted text>
Oh, counseling = now. I called my old shrink's office today.
I'm torn between making her move her own stuff or us doing it. It would be nice to have it out of my house, but...it's her crap and if she moves it, she can't (reasonably) blame anyone else for stuff missing or broken or whatever.
I didn't think of that. She won't be able to find something that SHE lost and it'll be YOUR (or J's) fault! Geesh! Why does it have to be so hard!

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Federal Way, WA

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#90251
Aug 26, 2013
 
Matilda77 wrote:
<quoted text>
Oh, counseling = now. I called my old shrink's office today.
I'm torn between making her move her own stuff or us doing it. It would be nice to have it out of my house, but...it's her crap and if she moves it, she can't (reasonably) blame anyone else for stuff missing or broken or whatever.
I get it about the moving stuff out thing. I'd be kinda torn. On one hand you need to get it, and the whole "vibe" from her being there so long out of your space, OTOH, I get that she would blame you guys for her stuff missing. IDK, tell her to arrange to have her parents come and do it or something. Or to arrange a weekend like in October to come up and do it. I would so want it done before Christmas, but I'm kind of abitch that way. <shrug> I would be all "lookit, you have until X to get it all out or I will do it and I will not listen to one syllable about anything being broken or missing...your call."

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Federal Way, WA

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#90252
Aug 26, 2013
 
Stina2 wrote:
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It's just ridiculous - esp if you've been so easy and understanding! And, heck, you getting tuition means you can learn more and earn more to help them!:D It's jsut the principle and it IS why some people are just jerks. It's not even like you're trying to pull the "I'll pay you with my tax refund" scam. You are asking for FIVE days!
Right? Seriously thinking about putting a Paypal link on my FB at this point LOL. It's already been extended until the end of September. I owed 2830.00. I have 1700.00 of it paid so I still need 1130.00. They won't extend it a second time. IDK, I have one more option, but I reaaaallllyyyyy don't want to ask him for it. I'm gonna lean on them for the next month. If they don't come through, I guess I'll give in and ask him (he will lend it to me) but I sooooooo don't want to go that route.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

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#90253
Aug 26, 2013
 
Matilda77 wrote:
Welp. That was the last straw. My SIL called J about some high school AP paperwork that she needed to get the right classes. Tried to blame him for her not knowing where it is. She's moving out at Christmas and we're getting counseling. As you might imagine, this whole thing has taken a toll on our marriage.
We can hear the toll it takes on you, but it has to even rougher on J because he is her blood kin.I can image the grief he is getting separately from his mother as well as the SIL.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

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#90254
Aug 26, 2013
 

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Matilda77 wrote:
As you might imagine, this whole thing has taken a toll on our marriage.
You're always welcome to come pay me a visit, darlin, and I'll make you forget all about your marriage and SIL for a while.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#90255
Aug 26, 2013
 

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Yeah, being locked in a box buried under 8ft of dirt will do that to a person.
edogxxx wrote:
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You're always welcome to come pay me a visit, darlin, and I'll make you forget all about your marriage and SIL for a while.

Since: Oct 12

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#90256
Aug 26, 2013
 

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PEllen wrote:
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My grandmother used to make something called Spanish tongue.I remember liking it, but it was a large reason why I have difficulty eating meat that does not change name ( or recognizable form) from the animal to the plate.
I think many more people are like that...I won't eat any veal, just because i saw how badly beef calves were treated, just to produce it....I looove Lamb, yet my wife won't consider it, because they're cute as puppies....lol....I think i had Spanish tongue, once in college.....Oh, no...she was Cuban...lol...

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

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#90257
Aug 26, 2013
 
RACE wrote:
As horrific as that is, it is an extreme aberration. from the norm. I can't/won't go thru life conducting myself as if that's a normal occurrence and that I should be in fear every time my kid is out of my sight.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

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#90258
Aug 26, 2013
 
RACE wrote:
Thats like dead animal cruelty dude!
<quoted text>
Fine with me. I want it dead dead dead.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

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#90259
Aug 26, 2013
 
Matilda77 wrote:
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Right? Why even order the steak? I've got a few spare hockey pucks they can chew on...
Contrary to what you rare steak snobs think, you can definitely cook out all the red and still have a ways to go before you get to "hockey puck" state.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

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#90260
Aug 26, 2013
 
Mimi Seattle wrote:
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Agreed. I can't make myself do any version of rare...no blood
That's key for me. Although they did not cook my steak to my liking, it was cooked enough so that there was no blood. Still somewhat pink. No my preference, but not disgusting enough for me to send back.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

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#90261
Aug 26, 2013
 

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Stina2 wrote:
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I agree! I bet they put ketcup on those hockey pucks, too! Gross!
Ketchup? Nooooo. Beer sautéed onions.

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