Since: Jun 09

Saint Petersburg, FL

#90234 Aug 26, 2013
Mimi Seattle wrote:
<quoted text>
Do it. Do it now. Get it locked in.
Yeah, I am going to look at the calendar this week. Even if I change it, I'll know I have it!!!

Since: Jun 09

Saint Petersburg, FL

#90235 Aug 26, 2013
Mimi Seattle wrote:
<quoted text>
This all by itself would be enough for me. After all you've done for her and she ha the audacity to bad mouth you...especially to HER parents? That would be the last time. I would so tell her take all of your stuff, don't care not my problem get it out of my house by "X" date or I'm throwing it away. I would never ever let her live at (or even stay really) my house again. You guys are so bad? Let them stay with their parents.
Sorry, not my call, just venting 'cause shitlikethis pissesme the helloff.
I kind of have my sorta own version of this going on right now. With all I do and have done for all these people, they can't come up with 1100.00 to lend me (between them) for like FIVE days? Really?
When I move I am not telling any of them where I am. I'm serious about that. Seriously, just one thing I did was pay off my niece's tickets/warrant/fines in OK so that she could get a DL here in WA, paid for the license, etc. When she first got here I paid to get all of her professional licensing stuff transferred/updated/etc.
She paid me back in payments, which was fine, she paid as agreed (her credit with me is very good) but still I helped her so she cold get her life together and now she can't manage even part of the 1100.00? Fcuk you. Nephew who OWES me tons of freaking $ that I've written off and who has the money won't even call me back because he knows I wasnt to borrow it and he doesn't want to part with it. Excuse me? I've paid your cell phone bill for three freaking years. I've given you food and shelter for years. I gave you a goddamn car.
THIS is why I don't like people.
THat's beyond crappy!!! You go out of your way to help people and ask for a pretty small favor in return... SMH I'd be royally pissed, too.

Since: Jun 09

Saint Petersburg, FL

#90236 Aug 26, 2013
dahgts wrote:
<quoted text>
That's funny...I stick with kielbasa. I don't even like pierogi.
When my son was in his late teen's he had a part time job at some chain restaurant. He called me and said he had calamari and it was really good. I said do you know what that is and he said no. I told him and his reaction was yuck, I'll never eat that again. Now he eats sushi.
That sausage was SO GOOD, though! We always ate the czechoslovakian version in NY. I wish grandpa hadn't ruined it for me! I think he actually used the words (in his accent) "Coagulated blood". Thanks, gramps! But I like Kielbasa, too!:)

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#90237 Aug 26, 2013
Welp. That was the last straw. My SIL called J about some high school AP paperwork that she needed to get the right classes. Tried to blame him for her not knowing where it is. She's moving out at Christmas and we're getting counseling. As you might imagine, this whole thing has taken a toll on our marriage.

Since: Jun 09

Saint Petersburg, FL

#90238 Aug 26, 2013
Matilda77 wrote:
Welp. That was the last straw. My SIL called J about some high school AP paperwork that she needed to get the right classes. Tried to blame him for her not knowing where it is. She's moving out at Christmas and we're getting counseling. As you might imagine, this whole thing has taken a toll on our marriage.
Good idea!

And I think that kicking her out is the best gift you can give yourselves. You've done A LOT for her - more than many would do - no it's time to force her out of the nest and do something for yourselves! ANd, you know, you have some REALLY good material for a book!!!

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#90239 Aug 26, 2013
That sucks.
Matilda77 wrote:
Welp. That was the last straw. My SIL called J about some high school AP paperwork that she needed to get the right classes. Tried to blame him for her not knowing where it is. She's moving out at Christmas and we're getting counseling. As you might imagine, this whole thing has taken a toll on our marriage.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#90240 Aug 26, 2013
Stina2 wrote:
<quoted text>
Good idea!
And I think that kicking her out is the best gift you can give yourselves. You've done A LOT for her - more than many would do - no it's time to force her out of the nest and do something for yourselves! ANd, you know, you have some REALLY good material for a book!!!
Ha! I feel like this is one of those traumatic things like childbirth, where I'll forget just how awful it really was. I'll have to go back through Topix for all my stories.

“It made sense at the time....”

Since: May 09

Schaumburg, IL

#90241 Aug 26, 2013
Matilda77 wrote:
Welp. That was the last straw. My SIL called J about some high school AP paperwork that she needed to get the right classes. Tried to blame him for her not knowing where it is. She's moving out at Christmas and we're getting counseling. As you might imagine, this whole thing has taken a toll on our marriage.
wow. good for you & j to move on and for her to start sinking on her own.

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#90242 Aug 26, 2013
Stina2 wrote:
<quoted text>
THat's beyond crappy!!! You go out of your way to help people and ask for a pretty small favor in return... SMH I'd be royally pissed, too.
Yeah, and it's not like it's trivial or something, it's for tuition. Seriously I need 1130.00 and they can get it together AMONGST them to lend it to me. My one niece in Cali committed a couple hundred when it gets closer to time that it absolutely has to be in (end of September) but she's the only one. She didn't even ask me what I wanted it for. She is my favorite relative.

Even if it *was* frivolous (it's really tuition) I have never, ever told someone "no" when they wanted to borrow (when I had it of course) money for whatever they wanted to do. I don't care if it's for a car payment, rent, or going to Burger King and a movie, because I "get" that austerity is tough and once in a while you gotta do *something* fun even if you can't really afford it because otherwise we're just existing.

I get that so I've never been all juggy about stuff. But here I actually need tuition money, and after everything I've done...a LOAN for a FEW DAYS, and they can't/won't do it. Screw them

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#90243 Aug 26, 2013
Matilda77 wrote:
Welp. That was the last straw. My SIL called J about some high school AP paperwork that she needed to get the right classes. Tried to blame him for her not knowing where it is. She's moving out at Christmas and we're getting counseling. As you might imagine, this whole thing has taken a toll on our marriage.
My reactions are good for you guys to go to counseling. Do it sooner rather than later. Don't wait until Christmas. Make her parents come and get her stuff. Reclaim your house now. Christmas is like 4 months away still.

And...how the hell is it his job to know where her paperwork is? Maybe she should just call her HS and pay whatever it is they charge for more paperwork. Like,...an adult.

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#90244 Aug 26, 2013
Matilda77 wrote:
<quoted text>
I hear you.*internet fistbump*
It's all about her making herself the victim to whoever will listen.
I think she needs help. Professional help. My armchair psychologist diagnosis is that all of this is a manifestation of the anger towards her parents and the way they raised her. Add to that the fact that she is of age and thinks she is an adult and she can "do what she wants" now... Of course I'm not a shrink, though I have taken way more psych classes than someone who is not a shrink should have.

http://www.diffen.com/difference/Psychopath_v...

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#90245 Aug 26, 2013
Mimi Seattle wrote:
<quoted text>
My reactions are good for you guys to go to counseling. Do it sooner rather than later. Don't wait until Christmas. Make her parents come and get her stuff. Reclaim your house now. Christmas is like 4 months away still.
And...how the hell is it his job to know where her paperwork is? Maybe she should just call her HS and pay whatever it is they charge for more paperwork. Like,...an adult.
Oh, counseling = now. I called my old shrink's office today.

I'm torn between making her move her own stuff or us doing it. It would be nice to have it out of my house, but...it's her crap and if she moves it, she can't (reasonably) blame anyone else for stuff missing or broken or whatever.

Since: Mar 09

West Palm Beach, FL

#90246 Aug 26, 2013
Matilda77 wrote:
Welp. That was the last straw. My SIL called J about some high school AP paperwork that she needed to get the right classes. Tried to blame him for her not knowing where it is. She's moving out at Christmas and we're getting counseling. As you might imagine, this whole thing has taken a toll on our marriage.
Ugh. I'm *so* sorry that you guys are at the point of going to counseling over this, but GOOD FOR YOU to be doing it. Be as pro-active as possible and start putting each other and your marriage first. You both tried so hard with your SIL, were so generous and selfless, but it's at (or beyond... way beyond) the point that it's unhealthy for you and J.

Since: Jun 09

Saint Petersburg, FL

#90247 Aug 26, 2013
Mimi Seattle wrote:
<quoted text>
Yeah, and it's not like it's trivial or something, it's for tuition. Seriously I need 1130.00 and they can get it together AMONGST them to lend it to me. My one niece in Cali committed a couple hundred when it gets closer to time that it absolutely has to be in (end of September) but she's the only one. She didn't even ask me what I wanted it for. She is my favorite relative.
Even if it *was* frivolous (it's really tuition) I have never, ever told someone "no" when they wanted to borrow (when I had it of course) money for whatever they wanted to do. I don't care if it's for a car payment, rent, or going to Burger King and a movie, because I "get" that austerity is tough and once in a while you gotta do *something* fun even if you can't really afford it because otherwise we're just existing.
I get that so I've never been all juggy about stuff. But here I actually need tuition money, and after everything I've done...a LOAN for a FEW DAYS, and they can't/won't do it. Screw them
It's just ridiculous - esp if you've been so easy and understanding! And, heck, you getting tuition means you can learn more and earn more to help them!:D It's jsut the principle and it IS why some people are just jerks. It's not even like you're trying to pull the "I'll pay you with my tax refund" scam. You are asking for FIVE days!

Since: Jun 09

Saint Petersburg, FL

#90248 Aug 26, 2013
Here is a story of people who failed at a get rich scheme and are now suing because they didn't get rich!!! Oy!!! People make me so mad...

http://www.tampabay.com/news/courts/civil/pin...

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#90249 Aug 26, 2013
j_m_w wrote:
<quoted text>
Ugh. I'm *so* sorry that you guys are at the point of going to counseling over this, but GOOD FOR YOU to be doing it. Be as pro-active as possible and start putting each other and your marriage first. You both tried so hard with your SIL, were so generous and selfless, but it's at (or beyond... way beyond) the point that it's unhealthy for you and J.
I totally agree. Sometimes you just have to step back and say this is your problem and I cannot (will not) allow it to undermine my life.

Since: Jun 09

Saint Petersburg, FL

#90250 Aug 26, 2013
Matilda77 wrote:
<quoted text>
Oh, counseling = now. I called my old shrink's office today.
I'm torn between making her move her own stuff or us doing it. It would be nice to have it out of my house, but...it's her crap and if she moves it, she can't (reasonably) blame anyone else for stuff missing or broken or whatever.
I didn't think of that. She won't be able to find something that SHE lost and it'll be YOUR (or J's) fault! Geesh! Why does it have to be so hard!

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#90251 Aug 26, 2013
Matilda77 wrote:
<quoted text>
Oh, counseling = now. I called my old shrink's office today.
I'm torn between making her move her own stuff or us doing it. It would be nice to have it out of my house, but...it's her crap and if she moves it, she can't (reasonably) blame anyone else for stuff missing or broken or whatever.
I get it about the moving stuff out thing. I'd be kinda torn. On one hand you need to get it, and the whole "vibe" from her being there so long out of your space, OTOH, I get that she would blame you guys for her stuff missing. IDK, tell her to arrange to have her parents come and do it or something. Or to arrange a weekend like in October to come up and do it. I would so want it done before Christmas, but I'm kind of abitch that way. <shrug> I would be all "lookit, you have until X to get it all out or I will do it and I will not listen to one syllable about anything being broken or missing...your call."

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#90252 Aug 26, 2013
Stina2 wrote:
<quoted text>
It's just ridiculous - esp if you've been so easy and understanding! And, heck, you getting tuition means you can learn more and earn more to help them!:D It's jsut the principle and it IS why some people are just jerks. It's not even like you're trying to pull the "I'll pay you with my tax refund" scam. You are asking for FIVE days!
Right? Seriously thinking about putting a Paypal link on my FB at this point LOL. It's already been extended until the end of September. I owed 2830.00. I have 1700.00 of it paid so I still need 1130.00. They won't extend it a second time. IDK, I have one more option, but I reaaaallllyyyyy don't want to ask him for it. I'm gonna lean on them for the next month. If they don't come through, I guess I'll give in and ask him (he will lend it to me) but I sooooooo don't want to go that route.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#90253 Aug 26, 2013
Matilda77 wrote:
Welp. That was the last straw. My SIL called J about some high school AP paperwork that she needed to get the right classes. Tried to blame him for her not knowing where it is. She's moving out at Christmas and we're getting counseling. As you might imagine, this whole thing has taken a toll on our marriage.
We can hear the toll it takes on you, but it has to even rougher on J because he is her blood kin.I can image the grief he is getting separately from his mother as well as the SIL.

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