Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#86030 May 23, 2013
Thanks!

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#86031 May 23, 2013
j_m_w wrote:
Advice needed!
If you've been paying attention, haha, you know that I've been dating D. Last Saturday, my friend A met him for the first time (all went well, blah blah, no story there). While we were all hanging out, A talked about how she's going to have a get-together at her house this Friday because her cousin B is arriving for a visit from out of state (B is female, I've met her several times, she and A and I have been on vacation together, etc.). A was planning to invite a few friends from work, one of her neighbors, and D and I. Mixed group of guys and girls.
A was traveling for work this week and got back last night. I emailed her a little while ago to ask what the plan is for Friday and she wrote back saying that last night she decided to just make it a girls night because she doesn't have time to prepare for a full-blown thing. So it would just be me, her and B.
My dilemma is that while I understand that things change and she's trying to catch up from traveling, it's sort of rude to invite someone and then basically un-invite them. It would be better to just cancel/reschedule altogether IMO. On the other hand, I don't want to be that girl who ditches her friends for a guy.
Thoughts?
IMO, she did cancel it and now has invited the girls over. It doesn't sound like she's trying to be rude. Go with the flow.

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#86032 May 23, 2013
j_m_w wrote:
<quoted text>
Thank you.
In addition. while I don't think your friend was rude, you can't ditch the guy you're seeing. I think your friend will understand.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#86033 May 23, 2013
Eh give him a BJ and then leave him alone for the night.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

#86034 May 23, 2013
Mimi Seattle wrote:
<quoted text>
Disclaimer: Really, really, really tired but I'm gonna take a shot at this...
He can have plans changed on him. Looks like he did.
The thing here is that he was invited by A and then un-invited. THAT is rude. JMW doesn't want to ditch him because she's made plans to spend the evening with him (at A's house).
So A is rude by un-inviting him and if JMW ditches him to hang with A then he's made plans and been left in the lurch.
True, he might be fine with that. Then again,(even though you think you speak for all men everywhere, you don't)...he may not like the idea of JMW bailing on him and leaving him on his own when he's made plans with her.
Just because A is rude doesn't mean JMW has to be.
I think Jamm is more rude for bailing on her friend just because there were a change in plans.

"There's been a slight change in plans."

"Well forget it, I'm not going at all then."

Her friends are gonna feel like she's ditching them to be with her boyfriend who she sees everyday, than with a friend she hasn't seen in a while.

Guess who likely isn't gonna be invited to the next get together?

I tried telling her not to create drama...

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#86035 May 23, 2013
Whoever's invitation was accepted first gets priority.

If it was with BF, tell him plans for the evening have changed- would he like to see Gatsby instead?

Say A isn't up to a group, just teh girls but he has first dibs. Then if he says go with your gf's, I'm good, honor has been satisfied

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#86036 May 23, 2013
My coworker's 27yo nephew committed suicide yesterday in a psych ward.:(

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#86037 May 23, 2013
Out of politeness, I did not mention this alternative.
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
Eh give him a BJ and then leave him alone for the night.

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#86038 May 23, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
My coworker's 27yo nephew committed suicide yesterday in a psych ward.:(
:(

“Checks and Balances”

Since: Apr 13

Location hidden

#86039 May 23, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
My coworker's 27yo nephew committed suicide yesterday in a psych ward.:(
Keeping coworker and family in my thoughts and prayers.

I hope he is now at peace and I hope that brings some comfort to those who loved him.

Since: Oct 12

Location hidden

#86040 May 23, 2013
PEllen wrote:
Whoever's invitation was accepted first gets priority.
If it was with BF, tell him plans for the evening have changed- would he like to see Gatsby instead?
Say A isn't up to a group, just teh girls but he has first dibs. Then if he says go with your gf's, I'm good, honor has been satisfied
I heard Gatsby sucked? Did you like it?
Stina

Saint Petersburg, FL

#86041 May 23, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
My coworker's 27yo nephew committed suicide yesterday in a psych ward.:(
Very sad. I am surprised he did it in a psycho ward, though.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#86042 May 23, 2013
ScarletandOlive wrote:
<quoted text>
Keeping coworker and family in my thoughts and prayers.
I hope he is now at peace and I hope that brings some comfort to those who loved him.
Apparently the shrinks there said he wasn't behaving/talking in a way that had them thinking he needed to be on a suicide watch, but people -- especially guys -- in their 20s with mental health issues can do impulsive things, just going moment to moment.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#86043 May 23, 2013
Go Blue Forever wrote:
<quoted text>I heard Gatsby sucked? Did you like it?
I also have heard that it sucked.

Since: Oct 12

Location hidden

#86044 May 23, 2013
Stina wrote:
<quoted text>
Very sad. I am surprised he did it in a psycho ward, though.
Usually they have the correct fail-safes in force, to make suicide very difficult.....

“Checks and Balances”

Since: Apr 13

Location hidden

#86045 May 23, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>Apparently the shrinks there said he wasn't behaving/talking in a way that had them thinking he needed to be on a suicide watch, but people -- especially guys -- in their 20s with mental health issues can do impulsive things, just going moment to moment.
You can't force help on those who aren't able or willing to accept it.

That is still heartbreaking, though.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#86046 May 23, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
Apparently the shrinks there said he wasn't behaving/talking in a way that had them thinking he needed to be on a suicide watch, but people -- especially guys -- in their 20s with mental health issues can do impulsive things, just going moment to moment.
My sister works in a psych ward as of a couple months ago. Unless they indicate they are suicidal, patients aren't watched 24/7 nor are things like shoelaces and blankets taken away. She said suicides are rare, because people feel like there's hope when you're finally getting help.

Sad, though, for all involved.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#86047 May 23, 2013
Go Blue Forever wrote:
<quoted text>Usually they have the correct fail-safes in force, to make suicide very difficult.....
In college, I checked myself into the psych ward for depression. There was *nothing* done to prevent me from hanging myself with my bedsheets.

Granted, that was 20 years ago, but I can't see the psych ward atmosphere changing that much.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#86048 May 23, 2013
Go Blue Forever wrote:
<quoted text>I heard Gatsby sucked? Did you like it?
Haven't seen it. But it looks like a chick film not a date film which is why I used the example.
Stina

Saint Petersburg, FL

#86049 May 23, 2013
Go Blue Forever wrote:
<quoted text>Usually they have the correct fail-safes in force, to make suicide very difficult.....
THat's what I said, but Red siad above that they said he wasn't acting in a way that made them think he was suicidal. Maybe it was an impulsive thing. I thought they took away shoelaces and anything dangerous. Nut maybe it just depends what section you're in. I am proud to say I've never stayed in a place like that. Yet.

It's very sad.

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