Since: Mar 09

Miami, FL

#85413 May 9, 2013
Ang, I just forwarded the same email with the subject line "read me!:)"

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#85414 May 9, 2013
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>
The group knows I place a lot of weight on personal responsibility and ownning up to one's role in any givn situation. Count me on Tonka's side in this.
Actions have consequences. As soon as you are old enough to cross the street by yourself you know waht could happen if you don't look both ways. It does not absolve the guy speeding down a side street, but it acknowledges that the victim played a part in getting to that point of metaphorical impact.
I take personal resonsibility for myself. I'm not going to say what those girls should have done or should not have done and whether or not they are accountable on a personal responsibility level.

I don't know all the facts yet.

Of the facts that have emerged that I have read, two facts are germaine to this conversation -- one girl knew of him as her friend's father, and the other one believed him to be the father of a coworker.

I think this is an excellent time for parents of young kids and young adults to remind them not to get into a car unless they are positively sure of the people they ride with and it is a prearranged ride.

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#85415 May 9, 2013
I'm not saying it wasn't dumb...or a lapse in judgement and that they should have known better. I'm saying that everyone, especially kids (and make no mistake, 17 year olds are still "kids") don't always think rationally.

Research says that the brain doesn't even really start working like an adult (consequences, long term repercussions, etc., etc., etc.) until people are like 24-25 isn for the most part, so for a 17 year old to do something that they KNOW BETTER than to do is understandable. In this case of course it's also tragic.

Of course they knew better. Of course it was drilled into their heads. But, sometimes kids (adults too) do stupid shit that they know better, they make choices that they've been taught are bad choices (by parents, school, churches, whatever) that most adults wouldn't make because as Bill Cosby so famously said, "kids are brain dead" most of the time. They think "here/now" not "what if?" So I can't place any of the blame for what happened on any of the girls.

I did the same thing at 17. Took a ride. Didn't know the guy. He was a perv. I agreed to go along with him. Jumped out of the car at a red light before he got to wherever it was he was taking me. I was SO LUCKY. Never, ever, ever did it again, ever. My braindeadedness was working overtime that day.*I* knew better, but it was a long-ass walk (like 5 miles) and I just wanted a ride.

The worst part of my being sofuckingstupid? it was only two years after this:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lawrence_Singlet...

Berkely, California is within a few miles of where I grew up, so it was REALLY stupid for me to take a ride from a stranger, still...<shrug>

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#85416 May 9, 2013
Toj wrote:
<quoted text>
I think this is an excellent time for parents of young kids and young adults to remind them not to get into a car unless they are positively sure of the people they ride with and it is a prearranged ride.
I agree. I just had that same talk with mine last week or so.

Since: Oct 12

Location hidden

#85417 May 9, 2013
Timmy wrote:
The "The B*tch that lives in Apt. 2B" was abruptly cancelled mid-season. That is why you can't find it. THe network does not plan to air the finshed, but un-aired episodes.
<quoted text>
I thought that was some funny as sh*t show, eh? plus the B babe was beyond hottie...lol....funny show, too bad....I'm afraid, when i get a bit older, i will be part of the, "They're Taking All Our Stuff" Crowd....lol....

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#85418 May 9, 2013
Toj wrote:
<quoted text>
I guess since the captures were so awful I really dislike blaming the victims..
Mimi Seattle wrote:
That said, placing any blame on the victims for what this guy(s?) intentionally, with deliberation, malice, and forethought did....
Toj wrote:
<quoted text>
I agree. I get tired of the victims being blamed.
Toj wrote:
I'm not stoppin anyone from discussing anything. Including myself from voice my opinion that it's unnecessary to blame the victim.
Why do the 2 of you insist that we are blaming the victim?

If I am not wearing my seatbelt and some drunk runs a red light and I t-bone him and get launched thru my windshield, is it blaming the victim to point out that my stupid decision to not wear my seatbelt put me at greater risk than if I had worn my seatbelt and avoided becoming a human cannonball?

If I withdraw $500 from the ATM and start walking down the street counting out the cash as I walk and someone runs up and snatches it from my hand, is it blaming me to point out that the smart thing would have been to put your money away nd not flaunt it?

I cetainly don't think its blaming the victim.
Toj wrote:
I think this is an excellent time for parents of young kids and young adults to remind them not to get into a car unless they are positively sure of the people they ride with and it is a prearranged ride.
Mimi Seattle wrote:
I'm not saying it wasn't dumb...
Of course they knew better. Of course it was drilled into their heads. But, sometimes kids (adults too) do stupid shit that they know better, they make choices that they've been taught are bad choices
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>
she got in a stranger's van willingly. It was stupid....That's pointing out that when you do stupid things and put yourself in un-necessary danger, bad things are more likely to happen.
Mister Tonka wrote:
Better judgement could have prevented this whole thing.
So you both agree that getting in the car with a stranger is not a wise decison. You agree that it was dumb. Then why are only me and sub being accused of blaming the victim? You're saying the same damn thing we are.

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#85419 May 9, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>
<quoted text>
<quoted text>
<quoted text>
Why do the 2 of you insist that we are blaming the victim?
If I am not wearing my seatbelt and some drunk runs a red light and I t-bone him and get launched thru my windshield, is it blaming the victim to point out that my stupid decision to not wear my seatbelt put me at greater risk than if I had worn my seatbelt and avoided becoming a human cannonball?
If I withdraw $500 from the ATM and start walking down the street counting out the cash as I walk and someone runs up and snatches it from my hand, is it blaming me to point out that the smart thing would have been to put your money away nd not flaunt it?
I cetainly don't think its blaming the victim.
<quoted text>
<quoted text>
<quoted text>
<quoted text>
So you both agree that getting in the car with a stranger is not a wise decison. You agree that it was dumb. Then why are only me and sub being accused of blaming the victim? You're saying the same damn thing we are.
I'm not saying you are blaming the victim. Maybe I shouldn't have said "blame." What I mean is that given their age(s) and what we know about brain development and rational decision making amongst adolescents, even well-informed ones who have been taught (repeatedly) and know better, that I won't put any of the culpability for what happened on them.

Especially considering that Douchebag was purposely, with malice and forethought specifically looking for a kid(s) who would let her (their) guard(s) down for just that split second so that he could take advantage of the situation and proceed with his nefarious (I love the word "nefarious" and there is so little opportunity to use it) plans. <shrug>

Does this make sense? Is what I'm saying any clearer? I don't mean that sarcastically, I'm stupid busy again and workign on like five things at once, so I'm not sure how articulate I'm being.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#85420 May 10, 2013

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#85421 May 10, 2013

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#85422 May 10, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>
<quoted text>
<quoted text>
<quoted text>
Why do the 2 of you insist that we are blaming the victim?
If I am not wearing my seatbelt and some drunk runs a red light and I t-bone him and get launched thru my windshield, is it blaming the victim to point out that my stupid decision to not wear my seatbelt put me at greater risk than if I had worn my seatbelt and avoided becoming a human cannonball?
If I withdraw $500 from the ATM and start walking down the street counting out the cash as I walk and someone runs up and snatches it from my hand, is it blaming me to point out that the smart thing would have been to put your money away nd not flaunt it?
I cetainly don't think its blaming the victim.
<quoted text>
<quoted text>
<quoted text>
<quoted text>
So you both agree that getting in the car with a stranger is not a wise decison. You agree that it was dumb. Then why are only me and sub being accused of blaming the victim? You're saying the same damn thing we are.
Once again, I said: "I specifically pointed out:'I'm not saying you're heaping blame (b/c you don't seem that you are); but that's my thought process on it.' I'm telling you, people don't listen at school, they hear what they want to hear, want the feel good everybody is great. Tonka, stupid is rampant."

What I hear is people who say "Well the victim did this and that and if they didn't do that they wouldn't be in that position. I would never do that. Therefore, I'll always be safe."

I really believe that's a lot of people's thought process. People look for things to make sure it can't happen to them. All I'm saying is it could happen TO ANYONE. Ever do something you look back on and think to yourself: Geez, where was my BRAIN that day?

Bad things happen to good people. No they should not have gotten in the car but given the connections with the perpetrator, they thought it was a safe call. At least 2 of the victims. I thought it was a bit early in the game to start saying what the victims should or should not have done. Of course anyone can give their opinion, I'm not saying people can't voice theirs (since I also believe I have a right to voice mine).

Perhaps I'm not in the mood to look at all the reasons why I wouldn't be in that position. Perhaps I'm looking at it empathetically and more sympathetic than how to make myself feel safer walking on this Earth.

When really bad things happen, what goes through my mind is that some people really suk and should not be on this Earth. But they are.

Since: Oct 12

Location hidden

#85423 May 10, 2013
What is this on the national news, about the Koch brother's attempting to buy the Chicago Tribune?.....I alway's recall in college, being taught....Control the media and control the message....scary times?......

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#85424 May 10, 2013
Go Blue Forever wrote:
What is this on the national news, about the Koch brother's attempting to buy the Chicago Tribune?.....I alway's recall in college, being taught....Control the media and control the message....scary times?......
The Koch brothers are evil.

And they certainly have the money to buy the Tribune!

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#85425 May 10, 2013
Minnesota is halfway there to having same-sex marriage!:) It passed the house yesterday, goes to the senate on Monday, governor said he'll sign it.

We're #12! We're #12!

Since: Oct 12

Location hidden

#85426 May 10, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
Minnesota is halfway there to having same-sex marriage!:) It passed the house yesterday, goes to the senate on Monday, governor said he'll sign it.
We're #12! We're #12!
Wish we had it here in Florida....i don't get not extending the same basic rights to everyone.....life's too short....

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#85427 May 10, 2013
Hey if anyone talks to Jay_Lee anymore, tell her I said it's good to see that she's eating well.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#85428 May 10, 2013
Sublime1 wrote:
Hey if anyone talks to Jay_Lee anymore, tell her I said it's good to see that she's eating well.
Huh? What's that even mean?(I'm confused!)

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#85429 May 10, 2013
Go Blue Forever wrote:
What is this on the national news, about the Koch brother's attempting to buy the Chicago Tribune?.....I alway's recall in college, being taught....Control the media and control the message....scary times?......
Yeah remeber when Rupert Murdoch bought the Sun Times? Ann Landers left so did Mike Royko.But, time wounds all heels and Col McCormick was not a liberal hothead himself.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#85430 May 10, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
Huh? What's that even mean?(I'm confused!)
Ferrerman went psycho again. Outed the real names of about 15 people on his blog, because once again "people" were being mean to him for no good reason.

I guess someone was using his real name on here. So, not knowing who it was, he just listed the names of a shyte load of people.

Jay Lee apparently took the time to put down her fork to post something on his blog about the blog I had for like 2 days before realizing I wouldn't be able to come up with enough material to keep it going and cancelled it.

In doing so she completely overlooks the psychotic nature of the guy posting real names. I guess she must approve of outing peoples PI. It's just amazing to me the shyte folks will overlook when it comes to him.

So many people, from so many different forums, who don't even know each other, have had mostly nothing but problems with the guy, but he's the innocent victim in their eyes.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#85432 May 10, 2013
Jay_Lee looks like the female version of Porkie Pig in her picture on her blog. LMFAO

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#85433 May 10, 2013
Do you have a link?
Sublime1 wrote:
<quoted text>
Ferrerman went psycho again. Outed the real names of about 15 people on his blog, because once again "people" were being mean to him for no good reason.
I guess someone was using his real name on here. So, not knowing who it was, he just listed the names of a shyte load of people.
Jay Lee apparently took the time to put down her fork to post something on his blog about the blog I had for like 2 days before realizing I wouldn't be able to come up with enough material to keep it going and cancelled it.
In doing so she completely overlooks the psychotic nature of the guy posting real names. I guess she must approve of outing peoples PI. It's just amazing to me the shyte folks will overlook when it comes to him.
So many people, from so many different forums, who don't even know each other, have had mostly nothing but problems with the guy, but he's the innocent victim in their eyes.

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Chicago Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
Barack Obama, our next President (Nov '08) 5 min scirocco 1,144,495
BARACK OBAMA BIRTH CERTIFICATE: Suit contesting... (Jan '09) 24 min jacques Ottawa 180,978
Adult Nursing Relationships (May '11) 1 hr Imasport 142
Once slow-moving threat, global warming speeds ... (Dec '08) 1 hr OzRitz 48,599
Ferguson protests move to retail stores 2 hr reality is a crutch 1
The Road to Perdition is strewn with the corpses 3 hr 1-5-11-17 MISSING 15
My true thoughts about this song. 3 hr ThereSheGosWalkin 4
Chicago Dating
Find my Match

Chicago People Search

Addresses and phone numbers for FREE

Chicago News, Events & Info

Click for news, events and info in Chicago

Personal Finance

Mortgages [ See current mortgage rates ]

NFL Latest News

Updated 6:07 pm PST

Yahoo! Sports 6:07PM
Lions, Eagles serve up Thanksgiving Day routs
Bleacher Report12:15 AM
Marc Trestman-Jay Cutler Partnership Is Still Failing the Chicago Bears
NBC Sports12:30 AM
Lions begin crucial homestand with win over Bears - NBC Sports
NFL 5:57 AM
Marc Trestman on loss to Lions: 'I'm looking inside'
NBC Sports 7:26 AM
Griffin's departure from starting lineup could be temporary