“FD&S is no way to be.”

Since: Feb 13

Chicago, IL

#83688 Apr 6, 2013
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>
Asking if someone has a job sounds pugnacious and in your face. Asking if you are working has a differrnt connotation, more inquisitive and less aggressive.
Do you actually think he's capable of appreciating that (or any other) nuance?

“Colorful Beyond Words”

Since: May 11

"True Love Never Ends "

#83689 Apr 6, 2013
RACE wrote:
I think I'm in like with you!
<quoted text>
LOL :)

You and your "kiddo" have lots of fun this week and make long lasting memories .

“Colorful Beyond Words”

Since: May 11

"True Love Never Ends "

#83690 Apr 6, 2013
Go Blue Forever wrote:
<quoted text>Personally, i liked it better, when i was allowed to work more overtime and pay more taxes, just so more illegitimate and unwanted children could have government entitlements, paying the way for their upbringing.....often, and including their lengthy and expensive prison terms also, as adults.....yeah, give me those olden days of government support at the taxpayers expense.....now, get back to work.....
Personally I liked it better when kids had some "Home training " on morals and ethics and integrity and character builders, but I dare say those have been pitched out the door . Where are the parents who should teach them the rights and wrongs. Society has left it up to our schools and media and books to teach sex education to our young people. How does the concept for young girls to respect their bodies and for young men to treat girls with decency and not as objects of self pleasure come across in today's society ? Society has thrown out the basics of love and marriage ... And heeded the lust and live-in as acceptable. So .. We pay the price for our own faults one way or another.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#83691 Apr 6, 2013
Sam I Am GEAM wrote:
<quoted text>
Do you actually think he's capable of appreciating that (or any other) nuance?
yes

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#83692 Apr 6, 2013
Hatti_Hollerand wrote:
<quoted text>
LOL :)
You and your "kiddo" have lots of fun this week and make long lasting memories .
I believe she is in her 20's. He seems to have done a decent job at being a long distance single dad .

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#83693 Apr 6, 2013
Hatti_Hollerand wrote:
<quoted text>
Personally I liked it better when kids had some "Home training " on morals and ethics and integrity and character builders, but I dare say those have been pitched out the door . Where are the parents who should teach them the rights and wrongs. Society has left it up to our schools and media and books to teach sex education to our young people. How does the concept for young girls to respect their bodies and for young men to treat girls with decency and not as objects of self pleasure come across in today's society ? Society has thrown out the basics of love and marriage ... And heeded the lust and live-in as acceptable. So .. We pay the price for our own faults one way or another.
Apropos your comments, there is a situation in Connecticut at the moment where a couple of 17-18 year olds had sex with a couple of 13 year old girls. tThe boys are being prosecuted but the kids in town have a massive sounding social network against the girls about why they are also not being prosecuted. I'll see if I can find a link. There is clearly a generational disconnect about teh responsibility for sexual activity in kids under 16

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#83694 Apr 6, 2013
Here is teh link on teh CN situation.

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/04/05/nyregion/ge...

“Colorful Beyond Words”

Since: May 11

"True Love Never Ends "

#83695 Apr 6, 2013
PEllen wrote:
Here is teh link on teh CN situation.
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/04/05/nyregion/ge...
Another sad , sad realization of where young people act out their sexual aggressions. I followed the Steubenville case and trial that the article mentions. Very similar , but those men posted their deeds through a social media and I believe in the trial it was used against them .

Our teens today seem to have an issue of not caring about what is right and wrong. 18 yrs old know it is wrong to have sex with 13 yrs olds. But .... did the 13 yrs old have a true understanding how ... Teasing and highly sexual suggestions play on the minds of others and their fantasies? Again .. No Home Guideance about how to conduct oneself with the opposite sex.

I have teenagers and we talk after movies and TV programs about how the actions of those actors are not true life. Teenagers and their brains are not totally developed and their rationale is still a work in progress.:)

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#83696 Apr 6, 2013
Hatti_Hollerand wrote:
<quoted text>Another sad , sad realization of where young people act out their sexual aggressions. I followed the Steubenville case and trial that the article mentions. Very similar , but those men posted their deeds through a social media and I believe in the trial it was used against them .
Our teens today seem to have an issue of not caring about what is right and wrong. 18 yrs old know it is wrong to have sex with 13 yrs olds. But .... did the 13 yrs old have a true understanding how ... Teasing and highly sexual suggestions play on the minds of others and their fantasies? Again .. No Home Guideance about how to conduct oneself with the opposite sex.
I have teenagers and we talk after movies and TV programs about how the actions of those actors are not true life. Teenagers and their brains are not totally developed and their rationale is still a work in progress.:)
There is another aspect to look at . The underlying notions of age appropriate sexual behavior and the laws on statutory rape pre-date the hyper-sexualization of young girls and pre-dates the wide dissemination of sexual behavior in the media, as well as the advent of pervasive media like Twitter. The people wh are analyzing and decrying the situation have one perspective. The kids who are tweeting,etc have a different set of social assumptions

The teenagers have one code of conduct that says that all 4 boys and girls should be held responsible. The grownups and the law cast eh girls as immature victims. My daughters are in their early 20's. I find I am more sympathetic to the CN teenagers

“Colorful Beyond Words”

Since: May 11

"True Love Never Ends "

#83697 Apr 6, 2013
I have a 12 yr old turning 13 this summer .... Do I think that she fully understands the implications of teasing and flirting with someone 5 yrs older? No .. Even though we have discussed this and sex in general ( assuming she is in the majority of kids her age ) she doesn't have the grasp of the emotions that is going to occur during sex. I know very few who are even close to this level of maturity at that age.

By the same token .. I have an 18 yr old too. By law an adult , who wants to be treated as such.. Wants to make ALL the decisions now for herself. The problem is her rational thinking and critical thinking skills are still in development . BUT.. She knows the right and wrong of such actions , maybe not the total consequences .

Even though I sympathize with the older teenagers .. Their right and wrong is developed .. Just not the thinking through to the consequences. Do I think our laws need changed? Maybe .. Maybe not. I believe that most statutory rape laws have done their job ... The only problem may be in teenager to teenager where "consent" is more the issue.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#83698 Apr 6, 2013
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/04/07/sports/ncaa...

Oh Jess,if this is accurate, I am so sorry.

It reads like Penn State without the sex component.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#83699 Apr 6, 2013
PEllen wrote:
There is clearly a generational disconnect about teh responsibility for sexual activity in kids under 16
Dam straight! When is society gonna start holding young children accountable for their sexual deviance?! Instead we're punishing the poor adults who assault them.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#83700 Apr 6, 2013
PEllen wrote:
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/04 /07/sports/ncaabasketball/rutg ers-officials-long-knew-of-coa ch-mike-rices-actions.html?hp
Oh Jess,if this is accurate, I am so sorry.
It reads like Penn State without the sex component.
WAAAHHH!

My coach yelled at me and threw a basketball at me!

WAHHHH!

Dam pussification of America....

“bELieve”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#83701 Apr 7, 2013
PEllen wrote:
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/04 /07/sports/ncaabasketball/rutg ers-officials-long-knew-of-coa ch-mike-rices-actions.html?hp

Oh Jess,if this is accurate, I am so sorry.

It reads like Penn State without the sex component.
The President has been stressing that the coach has been fired "without cause". He is still collecting hundreds of thousands of dollars from his contract because of that term. There was cause to fire him!!!

I have said many times on FB, esp to my friends who are ardent supporters of Tim Pernetti, that an AD with no authority over his department is not effective and should not be in his position. He may say now that he wanted to fire Mike Rice immediately, but his job was to protect the student athletes and he failed.

“bELieve”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#83702 Apr 7, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>WAAAHHH!

My coach yelled at me and threw a basketball at me!

WAHHHH!

Dam pussification of America....
Did you watch the video?

“bELieve”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#83703 Apr 7, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>WAAAHHH!

My coach yelled at me and threw a basketball at me!

WAHHHH!

Dam pussification of America....
I'll admit that I didn't play team sports at a high level. My husband did, though. He played basketball for one of the top programs in NJ - the same school that produced Andrew Bynum and Jay Williams. My husband's team made it to the state finals. He has also been an assistant coach at the varsity level.

He was very upset at what he saw on that video. He said the swearing was inappropriate, but the way Rice kicked and shoved those players and launched balls at them was so far over the line that he actually contacted one of our friends who is a faculty member at RU to ask if she signed the petition to fire the AD and President. He NEVER speaks up about our alma mater (won't admit that he went there), but he loves basketball and feels protective as a father and a former player.

Since: Oct 12

Location hidden

#83704 Apr 7, 2013
PEllen wrote:
Here is teh link on teh CN situation.
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/04/05/nyregion/ge...
Don't you find that much of the debate can be dismissed by the fact...that 13 year old girls are not capable of any legal consent, if that is really a factor at all?....These main two offenders are 18, and judged solely responsible in our legal system......

“bELieve”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#83705 Apr 7, 2013
Go Blue Forever wrote:
<quoted text>Don't you find that much of the debate can be dismissed by the fact...that 13 year old girls are not capable of any legal consent, if that is really a factor at all?....These main two offenders are 18, and judged solely responsible in our legal system......
But maybe we shouldn't dismiss the debate. The 18 year olds are high school students and if we take context into account, instead of only considering chronology, the students were all peers hanging out in the same social circles. When I was in high school (as a thirteen year old), I hung out with my friends' siblings and we were often at parties with seniors. People didn't ask to see ID before talking to someone. Parents can't let their 13 year olds out all night unchaperoned, then complain when they make adult decisions.

Were these laws written to punish kids who had just passed some arbitrary age and magically acquired some secret wisdom or were they intended to protect minors from predators with years of real world experience or from being forced into marriage before they could understand the implications?

I'm not defending anyone in this particular case. I'm actually pretty disgusted that 18 year olds are having sex with 13 year olds at all. I'm just saying that it is rarely black and white. Story from when I was in HS - I went to a party with one of my friends for her brother who was leaving for boot camp. He and his friends were super hot and really friendly and I'm a bit of a flirt, but I was really innocent and I guess that was pretty obvious (plus our parents raised us really well). I don't think any of those guys remember my name - my nickname was Jailbait for years. They were also super protective of me at parties where there were people from outside of our town - they would get upset if anyone even tries to offer me alcohol (I didn't drink in HS). Real friends look out for each other, they don't take advantage of each other.

Since: Oct 12

Location hidden

#83706 Apr 7, 2013
Until and unless you change the laws...the point is moot......it's just opinion....

“bELieve”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#83707 Apr 7, 2013
Go Blue Forever wrote:
Until and unless you change the laws...the point is moot......it's just opinion....
In order to change laws, you start with a discussion of why they should be changed.

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