Topix Chitown Regulars

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“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Tacoma, WA

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#83069
Mar 26, 2013
 
RACE wrote:
You scare me sometimes woman.
<quoted text>
Good.:D

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Tacoma, WA

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#83070
Mar 26, 2013
 
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>
Not sure how you are dealing with this when you are not ranting, but have you articulated what precisely you expect her to do and where the boundaries are?
Do you have any of your usual roomates backing you up with her?
Is she off the drugs for the moment?
Yes she's not doing any drugs right now. Had a long (and loud) talk with her tonight about what I expect her to do. Everyone is backing me up, that's not an issue, but she is *my* sister so somehow it's all my problem to deal with...her problems are I mean. So, she cried, told me she was going back, so I said "If that's what you really want to do, then I can't stop you, I'm not your mother and I will not succumb to emotional blackmail."

I told her that all of her problems, that are her problems because of choices she's made are not everyone else's to have to fix.

I am willing to help her all I can, but she will have to do the work herself...including waking up at a reasonable hour, going places, talking to people, calling people, etc. I can not have her continually stay here. Even if I wanted to, it's not possible and it's not good for her to think that it's going to turn out that way because it's not. She has until Tuesday to get another place.

Also, she needs to not ask to drive my car. Not gonna happen. Jokes about it are NOT funny, it is passive aggressive BS and it annoys the hell out of me.

I have my *own* issues to deal with, bills to pay, people to be accountable to, etc., etc., etc., even though she can't see beyond her own crap right now -which I understand- she needs to understand that her problems do not take precedence over my own things. No one is judging her, we all make choices for good or ill, BUT we don't all dump them on everyone else when the shithitsthefan.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#83071
Mar 27, 2013
 
Mimi, If she does go back what of the boy?

Since: Jan 10

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#83072
Mar 27, 2013
 
Last night, I dreamed Nick and I got married and we had a baby girl. She was beautiful. And then suddenly, it wasn't Nick, it was my coworker S. And I said to him, regarding the wife of 25 years and mother of his two kids, "I don't suppose we can count on W for babysitting?"

I told that to S today and he laughed his butt off. I told him whether or not he tells W (who is hilarious and wonderful), is up to him.

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Tacoma, WA

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#83073
Mar 27, 2013
 
RACE wrote:
Mimi, If she does go back what of the boy?
Yeah, see there's the problem. Legally I couldn't do anything. He is her son and his father (POS BIL) is alive so there's nothing I can do I don't think without bringing CPS into it. It's not really a CPS thing, just a bad bad bad thing, and I don't really want to put him (and Sis) through that crap for no real reason.

Also I know I'm not really equipped to raise a teenager right now. Even though Chris was still dependent on me for a lot of stuff, he *was* an adult, and had already gone through that and would have become a lot more independent of me by this point. He would turn 26 this June, so the difference there is 14 years. Also, how would I feel raising someone else's kid, someone who isn't really what I (or anyone really) would call a *good* parent, who is alive while my kid is dead. Would I resent it? To what degree? All this stuff has gone through my head in the past few days.

Sooo to answer your question, I don't know. I don't think I could do anything but let him go with her and hope to be a good influence from a distance. I talked to my other nephew (the 19 year old) the other day and laid a (massive) guilt trip on him about joining a gang. <shrug>

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

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#83074
Mar 27, 2013
 

Judged:

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Oh, man...I think I might be going to India for business in June. Six weeks. Trying not to jinx it, but that would be the coolest thing ever.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#83075
Mar 27, 2013
 
What if he asks to stay? Not saying he will, probably too much guilt about abandoning his mom, but ya never know.
Mimi Seattle wrote:
<quoted text>
Yeah, see there's the problem. Legally I couldn't do anything. He is her son and his father (POS BIL) is alive so there's nothing I can do I don't think without bringing CPS into it. It's not really a CPS thing, just a bad bad bad thing, and I don't really want to put him (and Sis) through that crap for no real reason.
Also I know I'm not really equipped to raise a teenager right now. Even though Chris was still dependent on me for a lot of stuff, he *was* an adult, and had already gone through that and would have become a lot more independent of me by this point. He would turn 26 this June, so the difference there is 14 years. Also, how would I feel raising someone else's kid, someone who isn't really what I (or anyone really) would call a *good* parent, who is alive while my kid is dead. Would I resent it? To what degree? All this stuff has gone through my head in the past few days.
Sooo to answer your question, I don't know. I don't think I could do anything but let him go with her and hope to be a good influence from a distance. I talked to my other nephew (the 19 year old) the other day and laid a (massive) guilt trip on him about joining a gang. <shrug>

Since: Jan 10

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#83076
Mar 27, 2013
 
Mimi Seattle wrote:
<quoted text>
Yeah, see there's the problem. Legally I couldn't do anything. He is her son and his father (POS BIL) is alive so there's nothing I can do I don't think without bringing CPS into it. It's not really a CPS thing, just a bad bad bad thing, and I don't really want to put him (and Sis) through that crap for no real reason.
Also I know I'm not really equipped to raise a teenager right now. Even though Chris was still dependent on me for a lot of stuff, he *was* an adult, and had already gone through that and would have become a lot more independent of me by this point. He would turn 26 this June, so the difference there is 14 years. Also, how would I feel raising someone else's kid, someone who isn't really what I (or anyone really) would call a *good* parent, who is alive while my kid is dead. Would I resent it? To what degree? All this stuff has gone through my head in the past few days.
Sooo to answer your question, I don't know. I don't think I could do anything but let him go with her and hope to be a good influence from a distance. I talked to my other nephew (the 19 year old) the other day and laid a (massive) guilt trip on him about joining a gang. <shrug>
Plus, Chris was your son. Not your nephew. Huge difference.

Since: Mar 09

United States

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#83077
Mar 27, 2013
 
Matilda77 wrote:
Oh, man...I think I might be going to India for business in June. Six weeks. Trying not to jinx it, but that would be the coolest thing ever.
Cool!

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

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#83078
Mar 27, 2013
 
Mimi Seattle wrote:
<quoted text>
Yeah, see there's the problem. Legally I couldn't do anything. He is her son and his father (POS BIL) is alive so there's nothing I can do I don't think without bringing CPS into it. It's not really a CPS thing, just a bad bad bad thing, and I don't really want to put him (and Sis) through that crap for no real reason.
Also I know I'm not really equipped to raise a teenager right now. Even though Chris was still dependent on me for a lot of stuff, he *was* an adult, and had already gone through that and would have become a lot more independent of me by this point. He would turn 26 this June, so the difference there is 14 years. Also, how would I feel raising someone else's kid, someone who isn't really what I (or anyone really) would call a *good* parent, who is alive while my kid is dead. Would I resent it? To what degree? All this stuff has gone through my head in the past few days.
Sooo to answer your question, I don't know. I don't think I could do anything but let him go with her and hope to be a good influence from a distance. I talked to my other nephew (the 19 year old) the other day and laid a (massive) guilt trip on him about joining a gang. <shrug>
I agree with you on letting him go with her. He's a *kid* in all senses of the word, and it would be a lot of work. Plus, the legal wrangling, since I doubt she'd just hand him over.

“This is SPARTA!”

Since: Dec 08

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#83079
Mar 27, 2013
 

“Licensed to Ill”

Since: Aug 08

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#83080
Mar 27, 2013
 
Matilda77 wrote:
Oh, man...I think I might be going to India for business in June. Six weeks. Trying not to jinx it, but that would be the coolest thing ever.
Yes that would be awesome. I've always wanted to go there.

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

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#83081
Mar 27, 2013
 
I posted Abby. Going to Amy now.

Abby: http://www.topix.com/forum/chicago/TJK6BQQOI4...

Since: Jan 10

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#83082
Mar 27, 2013
 
Matilda77 wrote:
Oh, man...I think I might be going to India for business in June. Six weeks. Trying not to jinx it, but that would be the coolest thing ever.
SUPER cool!!!

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

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#83083
Mar 27, 2013
 
Okay. Amy is now there, too.

Amy: http://www.topix.com/forum/chicago/TELM24OMLK...

What happened to Edog?

Since: Jan 10

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#83084
Mar 27, 2013
 

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

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#83085
Mar 27, 2013
 
I kept checking. No one posted. Of course, right after I posted I see Tonka's.

We should use Tonka's.

Since: Mar 09

United States

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#83086
Mar 27, 2013
 
Mister Tonka wrote:
That's us!

In my own personal defense, I've been dealing with ongoing construction zone-related drama at work and am behind on actual work as well as Topix.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

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#83087
Mar 27, 2013
 

Judged:

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j_m_w wrote:
<quoted text>
That's us!
In my own personal defense, I've been dealing with ongoing construction zone-related drama at work and am behind on actual work as well as Topix.
In my own defense, I am a lazy b1tch. Like Tonka said.

“FD&S is no way to be.”

Since: Feb 13

Huntingdon, TN

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#83088
Mar 27, 2013
 
Matilda77 wrote:
Oh, man...I think I might be going to India for business in June. Six weeks. Trying not to jinx it, but that would be the coolest thing ever.
That will be awesome. My friend Rachel is going in May for a couple of weeks, she is psyched and I am jealous.

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