Topix Chitown Regulars

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“Derecho”

Since: May 09

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#82720
Mar 21, 2013
 

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Jess in NJ wrote:
The extent of my conversation with them is "Don't touch yourself in front of Mommy. You only do that when you have privacy."
That last sentence is when you are crossing the line. You don't say something like that to a four and seven year old.

Since: Jan 10

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#82721
Mar 21, 2013
 
Team Jess/Squishy all the way here!

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

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#82722
Mar 21, 2013
 

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RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
You may need to discuss masturbation if the kid doesn't have appropriate boundaries in place.
Also, Dan Savage believes you should talk to your sons about this because he gets too many letters from young men who can't have an O with a woman because they've used what he calls a "death grip" for masturbation, and now they need that greater um pressure in order to have an O. He gives them instructions on how to change it and make it so they can enjoy sex more. But he figures it'd just be easier if dads talked to their sons and gave the kid some advice to save them some hassles later on.(I'd be more inclined to clip Dan's column on the topic and leave it on the kid's pillow.)
Oh hell no! I will not be discussing spanking technique with my kid. Some things you just have to learn on your own.

Since: Jan 10

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#82723
Mar 21, 2013
 

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edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
That last sentence is when you are crossing the line. You don't say something like that to a four and seven year old.
Childhood development experts are on Jess's side here.

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#82724
Mar 21, 2013
 
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>Oh hell no! I will not be discussing spanking technique with my kid. Some things you just have to learn on your own.
HA!

Comedian Bob Odenkirk: "The sex talk with my kids was fine. It's the fetish talk that got weird."

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

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#82725
Mar 21, 2013
 
squishymama wrote:

Lulu is ashamed when I correct her for things that I see as minor and of no consequence. I can only imagine what would go on in that little brain if I scolded her for touching herself. She's very sensitive and I'm pretty sure she would feel shame if I made her feel bad or wrong about it in any way. And she already has trouble with anxiety; add some sexual shame to that and it is a recipe for disaster.
I can't fathom being ashamed because someone told you not to do something. i tell my kid not to do something and IF he actually stops doing it at that moment, he's gonna do it again (whatever IT might be) when he forgets that I told him not to do it. Like throwing a ball in the house. Grabbing himself is just one of the many things he's just not supposed to do that. I just can't understand where shame comes into play for just telling someone not to do something.

But I looked at some of the words you used.

-scolded
-made her feel bad
-sexual shame

I don't see any of those in the act of saying "stop grabbing yourself".

“FD&S is no way to be.”

Since: Feb 13

Huntingdon, TN

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#82726
Mar 21, 2013
 
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
That last sentence is when you are crossing the line. You don't say something like that to a four and seven year old.
What?!?! Telling a child that something is private is crossing the line? How, with your wealth of relevant expertise, would you handle that situation?

“FD&S is no way to be.”

Since: Feb 13

Huntingdon, TN

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#82727
Mar 21, 2013
 
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
Childhood development experts are on Jess's side here.
Like they know something Mutt doesn't.

“bELieve”

Since: Jun 09

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#82728
Mar 21, 2013
 

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Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>I can't fathom being ashamed because someone told you not to do something. i tell my kid not to do something and IF he actually stops doing it at that moment, he's gonna do it again (whatever IT might be) when he forgets that I told him not to do it. Like throwing a ball in the house. Grabbing himself is just one of the many things he's just not supposed to do that. I just can't understand where shame comes into play for just telling someone not to do something.

But I looked at some of the words you used.

-scolded
-made her feel bad
-sexual shame

I don't see any of those in the act of saying "stop grabbing yourself".
He's not supposed to touch himself now, but it's ok when he gets older? How does he know that, since the only thing you have ever told him is that it's not ok? Are you going to leave it to the schools to let him know that it is normal and other people have these feelings, too?

BTW, do you tell your kid that it is ok to throw the ball outside, but not in the house or do you just tell him not to throw it in the house and assume that he will know that there are different rules for outside?

“FD&S is no way to be.”

Since: Feb 13

Huntingdon, TN

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#82729
Mar 21, 2013
 
So in today's WTF?:

Yoko Ono tweeted a picture of John Lennon's bloody glasses from when he was shot.

And two women were filmed at a beach in La Jolla abusing seals:

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/beac...

"Hey Beck, let's go beat up some seals tonight."

"That sounds like a blast, Lisa, let's go!"

I don't get it.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

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#82730
Mar 21, 2013
 
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
I'm sorry. I was unaware I NEEDED a godam degree in early childhood development to understand that it's inappropriate for a fking four year old to spank it!
There is a significsnt difference between a 5 year old casually touching himself and "spanking it".

I am not sure how much of this conversation is your baiting the group or your ignorance of little boys at that age.

“bELieve”

Since: Jun 09

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#82731
Mar 21, 2013
 
I remembered to go to my haircut appointment today and now I look hot! Too bad the only places I'm going tonight are CCD (Ry) and tball practice (E).

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

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#82732
Mar 21, 2013
 

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Jess in NJ wrote:
<quoted text>
He's not supposed to touch himself now, but it's ok when he gets older? How does he know that, since the only thing you have ever told him is that it's not ok? Are you going to leave it to the schools to let him know that it is normal and other people have these feelings, too?
No one discussed it with me. I figured it out on my own as I got older. It ain't rocket science. I am damn happy I did not have a masturbation discussion with my mother.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

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#82733
Mar 21, 2013
 
Jess in NJ wrote:
I remembered to go to my haircut appointment today and now I look hot! Too bad the only places I'm going tonight are CCD (Ry) and tball practice (E).
My hair place texts me before my hair appointments. I wish everything did this.

I guess I could just put reminders in my phone, but meh.

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

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#82734
Mar 21, 2013
 

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Jess in NJ wrote:
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Huh? I tell them no. I am so confused here.
When did we learn that it's ok to have sex while your kids are in bed with you?
Jess, they don't get it. When their kids are 16 they'll be wondering why they don't come to them with their problems or questions.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

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#82735
Mar 21, 2013
 
Jess in NJ wrote:
I remembered to go to my haircut appointment today and now I look hot! Too bad the only places I'm going tonight are CCD (Ry) and tball practice (E).
Don't forget teh key lime pie. You are entitled.

“Derecho”

Since: May 09

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#82736
Mar 21, 2013
 

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RedheadwGlasses wrote:
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You probably did it and you don't even remember it.
IT'S NORMAL.
Wrong on both counts.

“Derecho”

Since: May 09

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#82737
Mar 21, 2013
 

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RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
Childhood development experts are on Jess's side here.
Wrong again.

“Derecho”

Since: May 09

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#82738
Mar 21, 2013
 

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PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>There is a significsnt difference between a 5 year old casually touching himself and "spanking it".
I am not sure how much of this conversation is your baiting the group or your ignorance of little boys at that age.
Don't cop out to the "you must be baiting us" route because you're unable to challenge my claims with any validity.

We're not talking about "casual touching," we're talking about four year olds stroking it.

“Derecho”

Since: May 09

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#82739
Mar 21, 2013
 

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Sam I Am GEAM wrote:
<quoted text>
What?!?! Telling a child that something is private is crossing the line? How, with your wealth of relevant expertise, would you handle that situation?
I would have stopped at "don't do that."

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