Topix Chitown Regulars

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

United States

#82739 Mar 21, 2013
Sam I Am GEAM wrote:
<quoted text>
What?!?! Telling a child that something is private is crossing the line? How, with your wealth of relevant expertise, would you handle that situation?
I would have stopped at "don't do that."

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#82740 Mar 21, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>No one discussed it with me. I figured it out on my own as I got older. It ain't rocket science. I am damn happy I did not have a masturbation discussion with my mother.
Well, that's because you didn't have that kind of relationship where you feel free to talk about things with her. I'm not saying that would be an everyday discussion -- far from it. If the subject ever came up in her company, would you feel comfortable talking about it in general terms?

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#82741 Mar 21, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Wrong again.
How so? Link or cite?

“bELieve”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#82742 Mar 21, 2013
Matilda77 wrote:
<quoted text>My hair place texts me before my hair appointments. I wish everything did this.

I guess I could just put reminders in my phone, but meh.
My dentist's office just started doing that. I love it!

My hairdresser doesn't call before appts like some places I have gone to in the past, but the chick who does my hair is awesome and the owner is the chairman of the organization I belong to, so I'm in there all the time anyway. I just have to remember to go on the right day :)

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#82743 Mar 21, 2013
[QUOTE who="edogxxxWe're not talking about "casual touching," we're talking about four year olds stroking it.[/QUOTE]

Actually we were talking about touching, you turned it into full-on "stroking it."

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#82744 Mar 21, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Wrong again.
RIght. Because you've read all about this in parenting articles written by childhood development experts.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#82745 Mar 21, 2013
Edog, please don't have kids.

You are a stupid, stupid fucktard.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#82746 Mar 21, 2013
Toj wrote:
<quoted text>
How so? Link or cite?
HAHAHAHAHAHA! As if. He said so!

I"ve read the articles for years. He's so wrong.

“FD&S is no way to be.”

Since: Feb 13

Knoxville, TN

#82747 Mar 21, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
I would have stopped at "don't do that."
Great parenting technique. And keep in mind that kids never ask "Why?"

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#82748 Mar 21, 2013
Jess in NJ wrote:
<quoted text>
My dentist's office just started doing that. I love it!
My hairdresser doesn't call before appts like some places I have gone to in the past, but the chick who does my hair is awesome and the owner is the chairman of the organization I belong to, so I'm in there all the time anyway. I just have to remember to go on the right day :)
It's kind of an advantage to having this much shorter hair--I gotta go get it cut way more often than the once or twice a year I was doing before. Forces me to treat myself. I love haircuts and the smell of the salon.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#82749 Mar 21, 2013
You guys take edogg way to seriously. All he does is bait. Unless that's just part of the fun; arguing with him.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#82750 Mar 21, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
HAHAHAHAHAHA! As if. He said so!
I"ve read the articles for years. He's so wrong.
Well, of course. We KNOW he's wrong. I'm not so sure he knows he's wrong. He's seems a bit squeamish about it all. Like one of those kids that closes their eyes real tight to make it go away.

“FD&S is no way to be.”

Since: Feb 13

Knoxville, TN

#82751 Mar 21, 2013
Matilda77 wrote:
You guys take edogg way to seriously. All he does is bait. Unless that's just part of the fun; arguing with him.
The fact that that's how he chooses to engage people is just as bad as if he means what he says. Either way he's a douche.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#82752 Mar 21, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text> I can't fathom being ashamed because someone told you not to do something. i tell my kid not to do something and IF he actually stops doing it at that moment, he's gonna do it again (whatever IT might be) when he forgets that I told him not to do it. Like throwing a ball in the house. Grabbing himself is just one of the many things he's just not supposed to do that. I just can't understand where shame comes into play for just telling someone not to do something.
But I looked at some of the words you used.
-scolded
-made her feel bad
-sexual shame
I don't see any of those in the act of saying "stop grabbing yourself".
First off, you are no longer 7, so what you feel as an adult really doesn't pertain to a child. I don't remember much of how I felt or reasoned at 7, do you?

Second, there are two different situations we seem to be discussing here. One is touching yourself in the tub because it feels good. The other is walking around, fully clothed grabbing at your parts.

In scenario 1, the child is told that that kind of touching is only to be done in private. Some parents could freak out a little and that could come across to the child as scolding, possibly attaching negative feelings to something that is natural. Add having a sensitive, anxious child and *anything* said as a correction could be construed as negative.

In scenario 2, the child may be touching themselves because it feels good or because their underwear is bunching up or because they have a bladder infection or pinworms. We were having this problem with Lulu and it turned out her underwear was too small. New undies = no grabbing.

In both scenarios, we tell the child to stop. But because of what was going on in the mind of the child, the reaction to it will be different. Getting busted touching yourself in the tub and getting busted digging your underwear out of your crotch will evoke two totally different kinds of reaction.

Eh, I know I'm not expressing myself well. I have work to do and my words don't come to me as easily as some.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#82753 Mar 21, 2013
Matilda77 wrote:
You guys take edogg way to seriously. All he does is bait. Unless that's just part of the fun; arguing with him.
I just wish we had an "ignore" feature.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

United States

#82754 Mar 21, 2013
I don't NEED to provide links because I'm never wrong, think you people would get this by now, but I understand many of you are a little slow, so I'm trying to be patient. If you thing I'm wrong and experts are telling parents that 3, 4, and 5 yr olds beating off is totally normal, than YOU please provide the link.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#82755 Mar 21, 2013
Jumping ahead 25 years or so, Harry Reems died.

Mr. Reems played Dr. Young, a physician whose diagnostic brilliance — he locates the rare anatomical quirk that makes Ms. Lovelace’s character vastly prefer oral sex to intercourse — is matched by his capacity for tireless ministration.

“bELieve”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#82756 Mar 21, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
I don't NEED to provide links because I'm never wrong, think you people would get this by now, but I understand many of you are a little slow, so I'm trying to be patient. If you thing I'm wrong and experts are telling parents that 3, 4, and 5 yr olds beating off is totally normal, than YOU please provide the link.
Holy cow - Squishy and I could have written this!

http://m.kidshealth.org/parent/growth/sexual_...

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#82757 Mar 21, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Don't cop out to the "you must be baiting us" route because you're unable to challenge my claims with any validity.
We're not talking about "casual touching," we're talking about four year olds stroking it.
This is the disconnect.

Some genital touching is just pleasure, like sucking your thumb, rocking back and forth crooning to calm yourself or holding your blankie, etc.. That's what little kids do. That is what started the discussion. That is what Jess and Squishy and I are talking about. This warrants telling the child that is something we do in private.

Later genital touching adds an element of sexual stimulation which is where your comments seems to go. I don't disagree that sexual gratification by self touch in a 4-7 year old would be troublesome.This warrants a different parental response, but from all my mom experienece, this type is much less common that the first.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#82758 Mar 21, 2013
Toj wrote:
<quoted text>
Well, that's because you didn't have that kind of relationship where you feel free to talk about things with her.
That's normal and healthy,.
Toj wrote:
If the subject ever came up in her company, would you feel comfortable talking about it in general terms?
Hell no. I don't ever want a relationship where its normal to talk about spankin it with my kid or my mom.

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