He's not supposed to touch himself now, but it's ok when he gets older? How does he know that, since the only thing you have ever told him is that it's not ok? Are you going to leave it to the schools to let him know that it is normal and other people have these feelings, too?<quoted text>I can't fathom being ashamed because someone told you not to do something. i tell my kid not to do something and IF he actually stops doing it at that moment, he's gonna do it again (whatever IT might be) when he forgets that I told him not to do it. Like throwing a ball in the house. Grabbing himself is just one of the many things he's just not supposed to do that. I just can't understand where shame comes into play for just telling someone not to do something.
But I looked at some of the words you used.
-made her feel bad
I don't see any of those in the act of saying "stop grabbing yourself".
BTW, do you tell your kid that it is ok to throw the ball outside, but not in the house or do you just tell him not to throw it in the house and assume that he will know that there are different rules for outside?