Topix Chitown Regulars

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#82716 Mar 21, 2013
Jess in NJ wrote:
Girls don't need vibrators to explore their bodies. I wouldn't buy my children sex toys because that is a decision an adult makes and
I don't think a girl needs a vibrator, but I have read some horror stories about the damage girls have done to themselves by inserting objects into them that aren't meant for it -- like pens and pencils. better that your daughter have a safe device meant for that.

“bELieve”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#82717 Mar 21, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>You call it willful ignorance. I call it don't ask don't tell. As a parent, I can't fathom a reason I need to know about my child's masturbatory habits. As a child, I am not discussing it with you. I don't care how open and honest our relationship is. I mean, is that the goal here. You want things to be so open that you discuss masturbation? Sorry. I can't get on board with that. TMI. Everything need not be shared between parent and child.
I know its going to happen at some point. We don't need to discuss it.

Jess in NJ wrote, "I don't think that our bodies are inherently shameful, which is why I don't freak out about biology. "

You and Squishy have both brought shame into this discussion and I can't understand why. I'm sorry, but I don't see a connection. We've had this discussion before with regard to nudity in general. Being modest and not an exhibitionist does not mean you feel any shame about your body. Same thing applies here. Its not like I'm saying "Hey, stop touching your penis the disgusting little troll!" Where exactly is shame entering the picture?
It seems like you and edogg think I am sitting my boys down and having lengthy discussions with them about why their penises get hard and what they should do to achieve maximum pleasure.

The extent of my conversation with them is "Don't touch yourself in front of Mommy. You only do that when you have privacy." I don't get worked up or raise my voice. It's just not a big deal.

I know a lot of people who are embarrassed, though, to admit that their children will have any biological urges. They see their kids as living dolls and don't prepare them very well to handle life away from their mother's apron strings. These are also the same parents who called the elementary school and told the secretary not to mention the Sandy Hook shooting to their children because they want to keep them sheltered.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

United States

#82718 Mar 21, 2013
squishymama wrote:
<quoted text>
Oh, I'm sorry. I was unaware that you had a degree in early childhood development.
I'm sorry. I was unaware I NEEDED a godam degree in early childhood development to understand that it's inappropriate for a fking four year old to spank it!

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#82719 Mar 21, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
I'm sorry. I was unaware I NEEDED a godam degree in early childhood development to understand that it's inappropriate for a fking four year old to spank it!
You probably did it and you don't even remember it.

IT'S NORMAL.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

United States

#82720 Mar 21, 2013
Jess in NJ wrote:
The extent of my conversation with them is "Don't touch yourself in front of Mommy. You only do that when you have privacy."
That last sentence is when you are crossing the line. You don't say something like that to a four and seven year old.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#82721 Mar 21, 2013
Team Jess/Squishy all the way here!

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#82722 Mar 21, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
You may need to discuss masturbation if the kid doesn't have appropriate boundaries in place.
Also, Dan Savage believes you should talk to your sons about this because he gets too many letters from young men who can't have an O with a woman because they've used what he calls a "death grip" for masturbation, and now they need that greater um pressure in order to have an O. He gives them instructions on how to change it and make it so they can enjoy sex more. But he figures it'd just be easier if dads talked to their sons and gave the kid some advice to save them some hassles later on.(I'd be more inclined to clip Dan's column on the topic and leave it on the kid's pillow.)
Oh hell no! I will not be discussing spanking technique with my kid. Some things you just have to learn on your own.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#82723 Mar 21, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
That last sentence is when you are crossing the line. You don't say something like that to a four and seven year old.
Childhood development experts are on Jess's side here.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#82724 Mar 21, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>Oh hell no! I will not be discussing spanking technique with my kid. Some things you just have to learn on your own.
HA!

Comedian Bob Odenkirk: "The sex talk with my kids was fine. It's the fetish talk that got weird."

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#82725 Mar 21, 2013
squishymama wrote:

Lulu is ashamed when I correct her for things that I see as minor and of no consequence. I can only imagine what would go on in that little brain if I scolded her for touching herself. She's very sensitive and I'm pretty sure she would feel shame if I made her feel bad or wrong about it in any way. And she already has trouble with anxiety; add some sexual shame to that and it is a recipe for disaster.
I can't fathom being ashamed because someone told you not to do something. i tell my kid not to do something and IF he actually stops doing it at that moment, he's gonna do it again (whatever IT might be) when he forgets that I told him not to do it. Like throwing a ball in the house. Grabbing himself is just one of the many things he's just not supposed to do that. I just can't understand where shame comes into play for just telling someone not to do something.

But I looked at some of the words you used.

-scolded
-made her feel bad
-sexual shame

I don't see any of those in the act of saying "stop grabbing yourself".

“FD&S is no way to be.”

Since: Feb 13

Knoxville, TN

#82726 Mar 21, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
That last sentence is when you are crossing the line. You don't say something like that to a four and seven year old.
What?!?! Telling a child that something is private is crossing the line? How, with your wealth of relevant expertise, would you handle that situation?

“FD&S is no way to be.”

Since: Feb 13

Knoxville, TN

#82727 Mar 21, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
Childhood development experts are on Jess's side here.
Like they know something Mutt doesn't.

“bELieve”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#82728 Mar 21, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>I can't fathom being ashamed because someone told you not to do something. i tell my kid not to do something and IF he actually stops doing it at that moment, he's gonna do it again (whatever IT might be) when he forgets that I told him not to do it. Like throwing a ball in the house. Grabbing himself is just one of the many things he's just not supposed to do that. I just can't understand where shame comes into play for just telling someone not to do something.

But I looked at some of the words you used.

-scolded
-made her feel bad
-sexual shame

I don't see any of those in the act of saying "stop grabbing yourself".
He's not supposed to touch himself now, but it's ok when he gets older? How does he know that, since the only thing you have ever told him is that it's not ok? Are you going to leave it to the schools to let him know that it is normal and other people have these feelings, too?

BTW, do you tell your kid that it is ok to throw the ball outside, but not in the house or do you just tell him not to throw it in the house and assume that he will know that there are different rules for outside?

“FD&S is no way to be.”

Since: Feb 13

Knoxville, TN

#82729 Mar 21, 2013
So in today's WTF?:

Yoko Ono tweeted a picture of John Lennon's bloody glasses from when he was shot.

And two women were filmed at a beach in La Jolla abusing seals:

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/beac...

"Hey Beck, let's go beat up some seals tonight."

"That sounds like a blast, Lisa, let's go!"

I don't get it.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#82730 Mar 21, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
I'm sorry. I was unaware I NEEDED a godam degree in early childhood development to understand that it's inappropriate for a fking four year old to spank it!
There is a significsnt difference between a 5 year old casually touching himself and "spanking it".

I am not sure how much of this conversation is your baiting the group or your ignorance of little boys at that age.

“bELieve”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#82731 Mar 21, 2013
I remembered to go to my haircut appointment today and now I look hot! Too bad the only places I'm going tonight are CCD (Ry) and tball practice (E).

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#82732 Mar 21, 2013
Jess in NJ wrote:
<quoted text>
He's not supposed to touch himself now, but it's ok when he gets older? How does he know that, since the only thing you have ever told him is that it's not ok? Are you going to leave it to the schools to let him know that it is normal and other people have these feelings, too?
No one discussed it with me. I figured it out on my own as I got older. It ain't rocket science. I am damn happy I did not have a masturbation discussion with my mother.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#82733 Mar 21, 2013
Jess in NJ wrote:
I remembered to go to my haircut appointment today and now I look hot! Too bad the only places I'm going tonight are CCD (Ry) and tball practice (E).
My hair place texts me before my hair appointments. I wish everything did this.

I guess I could just put reminders in my phone, but meh.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#82734 Mar 21, 2013
Jess in NJ wrote:
<quoted text>
Huh? I tell them no. I am so confused here.
When did we learn that it's ok to have sex while your kids are in bed with you?
Jess, they don't get it. When their kids are 16 they'll be wondering why they don't come to them with their problems or questions.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#82735 Mar 21, 2013
Jess in NJ wrote:
I remembered to go to my haircut appointment today and now I look hot! Too bad the only places I'm going tonight are CCD (Ry) and tball practice (E).
Don't forget teh key lime pie. You are entitled.

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