“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#82669 Mar 21, 2013
Jess in NJ wrote:
I shared this that another friend posted on FB, but since not all of you are my FB friends I wanted to post it on here. I think that everyone who is raising a boy should read it.
http://www.askmoxie.org/2013/03/a-letter-to-m...
Thank you for this Jess.

I want my girls to be the people this woman described too. Gender has little to do with being a good person.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#82670 Mar 21, 2013
Jess in NJ wrote:
I shared this that another friend posted on FB, but since not all of you are my FB friends I wanted to post it on here. I think that everyone who is raising a boy should read it.
http://www.askmoxie.org/2013/03/a-letter-to-m...
I was reading the letter and stopped at this line.

"Now I’m going to talk about sex. I know you know “how it works” because we’ve been talking about it ever since you two were little, since before you could read"

WTF? I'm not gonna try to put a number on when a parent SHOULD talk with their kid about sex cause I was probably let in on the secret later than I should have(by 5th grade, I was still unaware that a man had any part in how a woman got pregnant), but talking to them about “how it works” before they could read? Is this a f'n joke? My older kid is in Kindergarten and can read. Hell no I'm not talking to him about how sex works. Sorry, but that is definitely not age appropriate.

“Not a real reg”

Since: Jan 13

Location hidden

#82671 Mar 21, 2013

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#82672 Mar 21, 2013
I am sure this letter means well, but I can't even make it thru to the anti-rape part.

Describing sex to a kid of 11 or 8 as "better than popcorn followed by ice cream, or a Supah Ninjas marathon, or two snow days in a row. You know how excited I get when I get a new pair of shoes? It’s like 500 times better than that, when the person you’re doing it with is so excited to be doing it with you that they start asking you for it."

Think that's not gonna raise curiosity?
Then expecting impulse control?

"If you’re ever in a situation in which someone is asking you for it and you don’t want to have sex with that person, don’t do it."
After the earlier build up, why would he not want to do it?

" I want you to wait to have sex until the person you’re with asks you for it. Tells you they need you now, and that they can’t wait, and they want it. Calls you by your name and asks for it."
So next week when little Johnny's classmate wants to do it and tells him she can't wait, he's got the green light?

Sorry. This conversation is just ridiculous.

“bELieve”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#82673 Mar 21, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>I was reading the letter and stopped at this line.

"Now I’m going to talk about sex. I know you know “how it works” because we’ve been talking about it ever since you two were little, since before you could read"

WTF? I'm not gonna try to put a number on when a parent SHOULD talk with their kid about sex cause I was probably let in on the secret later than I should have(by 5th grade, I was still unaware that a man had any part in how a woman got pregnant), but talking to them about “how it works” before they could read? Is this a f'n joke? My older kid is in Kindergarten and can read. Hell no I'm not talking to him about how sex works. Sorry, but that is definitely not age appropriate.
Age appropriate conversations. My boys see my husband and me kissing on the mouth (not making out, usually, but we are affectionate). They have been told that husbands and wives kiss like that, but you don't kiss your friends. If your kid knows that Mommy has breasts and Daddy has a penis, but not vice versa, then that is age appropriate sex ed.

For the little kids, I think that the conversations are more about respectful touching (or not). I have to remind my boys about privacy ( Stop touching yourself in front of Mommy, even in that bathtub! You can do that in private).

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#82674 Mar 21, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
I am sure this letter means well, but I can't even make it thru to the anti-rape part.
Describing sex to a kid of 11 or 8 as "better than popcorn followed by ice cream, or a Supah Ninjas marathon, or two snow days in a row. You know how excited I get when I get a new pair of shoes? It’s like 500 times better than that, when the person you’re doing it with is so excited to be doing it with you that they start asking you for it."
Think that's not gonna raise curiosity?
Then expecting impulse control?
"If you’re ever in a situation in which someone is asking you for it and you don’t want to have sex with that person, don’t do it."
After the earlier build up, why would he not want to do it?
" I want you to wait to have sex until the person you’re with asks you for it. Tells you they need you now, and that they can’t wait, and they want it. Calls you by your name and asks for it."
So next week when little Johnny's classmate wants to do it and tells him she can't wait, he's got the green light?
Sorry. This conversation is just ridiculous.
Yeah, that's weird.

“bELieve”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#82675 Mar 21, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
I am sure this letter means well, but I can't even make it thru to the anti-rape part.

Describing sex to a kid of 11 or 8 as "better than popcorn followed by ice cream, or a Supah Ninjas marathon, or two snow days in a row. You know how excited I get when I get a new pair of shoes? ItÂ’s like 500 times better than that, when the person youÂ’re doing it with is so excited to be doing it with you that they start asking you for it."

Think that's not gonna raise curiosity?
Then expecting impulse control?

"If youÂ’re ever in a situation in which someone is asking you for it and you donÂ’t want to have sex with that person, donÂ’t do it."
After the earlier build up, why would he not want to do it?

" I want you to wait to have sex until the person youÂ’re with asks you for it. Tells you they need you now, and that they canÂ’t wait, and they want it. Calls you by your name and asks for it."
So next week when little Johnny's classmate wants to do it and tells him she can't wait, he's got the green light?

Sorry. This conversation is just ridiculous.
There is more than one way to have the conversation, but most people don't have it at all. I think it is especially important for boys to be told that sex is special and it involves feelings and that your partner needs to be respected.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#82676 Mar 21, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text> I was reading the letter and stopped at this line.
"Now I’m going to talk about sex. I know you know “how it works” because we’ve been talking about it ever since you two were little, since before you could read"
WTF? I'm not gonna try to put a number on when a parent SHOULD talk with their kid about sex cause I was probably let in on the secret later than I should have(by 5th grade, I was still unaware that a man had any part in how a woman got pregnant), but talking to them about “how it works” before they could read? Is this a f'n joke? My older kid is in Kindergarten and can read. Hell no I'm not talking to him about how sex works. Sorry, but that is definitely not age appropriate.
My cousin has an incredibly precocious little girl who knew all about periods and stuff at 3.5 or so. Her attitude is, "She asks questions, she gets answers." I was kind of floored. She just had her 3rd kid and I think her oldest kid (14-ish) was there for the birth. Nope. Nope, nope, nope. I'm less of a prude than my parents--slightly--but nope. Let 'em be innocent for a while.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

United States

#82677 Mar 21, 2013
PEllen wrote:
http://www.cnn.com/2013/03/20/ opinion/george-gay-marriage/in dex.html?hpt=hp_t3
This is for Edog in the morning. He needs to know that he is right about something.
I'm ALWAYS right. That is a major argument for those who oppose gay marriage.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#82678 Mar 21, 2013
Jess in NJ wrote:
Age appropriate conversations. My boys see my husband and me kissing on the mouth (not making out, usually, but we are affectionate).
That is not SEX. You know, the stuff the writer was talking about.

"I know you know “how it works” because we’ve been talking about it ever since you two were little, since before you could read, and you know all about sperm and eggs and penises and vaginas and vulvas and orgasms and condoms and all that"

One kid was 8. I don't see it as age appropriate to talk about condoms and orgasms with an 8 year old(or younger as the writer suggests is the case).

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#82679 Mar 21, 2013
PEllen wrote:
http://www.cnn.com/2013/03/20/ opinion/george-gay-marriage/in dex.html?hpt=hp_t3
This is for Edog in the morning. He needs to know that he is right about something.
Exactly. If it's someone else's opinion as well, it has to be correct.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

United States

#82680 Mar 21, 2013
Jess in NJ wrote:
Stop touching yourself in front of Mommy, even in that bathtub! You can do that in private).
Are you being serious? Your kids are what, 4 to 6ish? I think that's a little young to encourage them to play with themselves, even in private.

“bELieve”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#82681 Mar 21, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>Are you being serious? Your kids are what, 4 to 6ish? I think that's a little young to encourage them to play with themselves, even in private.
Encourage?! They do it! Either I tell them no, which makes it seem like they are doing something bad or dirty and gives them a complex, or I tell them not to do it in front of people.

I have a 4 year old and a 7 year old.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#82682 Mar 21, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Are you being serious? Your kids are what, 4 to 6ish? I think that's a little young to encourage them to play with themselves, even in private.
WTF? I missed that part of her post. Sorry, but that is just nuts to me. Sex and masturbation are going to happen on their own. I see no reason to encourage it. That's just weird.

Jess, serious question. If you are instructing a boy not to stop touching himself, but to simply do it in private, are you ok with getting a daughter a vibrator, since you seem to be so open and ok with it? I can't imagine ever telling my boys to go yank it in his room.

I don't think I'm a prude, but this seems way over the line to me.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#82683 Mar 21, 2013
Jess in NJ wrote:
<quoted text>
Encourage?! They do it! Either I tell them no, which makes it seem like they are doing something bad or dirty and gives them a complex, or I tell them not to do it in front of people.
I have a 4 year old and a 7 year old.
If my kid is doing something in public that is inappropriate, I have no problem just telling them not to do it. Period. I don't want to have to deal with them determining WHEN something is ok or not.

Take going to the bathroom and being naked. My kid has not modesty. He will go to the bathroom with the door open and not care. Doesn't matter what he's doing in there. I have to keep on him to close the damn door. My wife, does not think its a big deal. But then when the neighbor kids are over, to play in the pool, one of which is a girl in 3rd or 4th grade, and he leaves the door open, or walks out naked cause he can't find his swim trunks, I consider that a problem. Instead of struggling to get him to differentiate that being naked in situation A is ok but situation B,C,D,E,& F are not, I am fine with, keep the f'n door closed when you are in the bathroom.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#82684 Mar 21, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>WTF? I missed that part of her post. Sorry, but that is just nuts to me. Sex and masturbation are going to happen on their own. I see no reason to encourage it. That's just weird.
Jess, serious question. If you are instructing a boy not to stop touching himself, but to simply do it in private, are you ok with getting a daughter a vibrator, since you seem to be so open and ok with it? I can't imagine ever telling my boys to go yank it in his room.
I don't think I'm a prude, but this seems way over the line to me.
Tonka -- that's apples and oranges here. I agree with Jess. To tell them sternly, "Stop that!" makes them feel they are doing something wrong. Telling them not to do it in front of people is teaching them it's a private thing. Kids have no boundaries and do not know what is appropriate, when.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#82685 Mar 21, 2013
Also, I don't see it as encouraging it. I see it as a statement. You do it in private.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

United States

#82686 Mar 21, 2013
Jess in NJ wrote:
<quoted text>
Encourage?! They do it! Either I tell them no, which makes it seem like they are doing something bad or dirty and gives them a complex, or I tell them not to do it in front of people.
I have a 4 year old and a 7 year old.
Well boo hoo, we can't have kids getting a complex, that will damage their precious little egos. It's FAR more important to allow a four year old to yank it.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#82687 Mar 21, 2013
Jess in NJ wrote:
<quoted text>
Encourage?! They do it! Either I tell them no, which makes it seem like they are doing something bad or dirty and gives them a complex, or I tell them not to do it in front of people.
I have a 4 year old and a 7 year old.
By the way, my kid did go thru a phase where he was grabbing himself all the damn time. We knew it was going on and tried like hell to get him to stop. His karate teacher brought it to our attention as did a teacher. "Just don't do it in public" never entered my mind. we wanted him to stop. Period.

"Do you have to go to the bathroom? No? then stop grabbing your peepee."

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#82688 Mar 21, 2013
Toj wrote:
Kids have no boundaries and do not know what is appropriate, when.
Exactly. So instead of expecting them to be able to analyze each situation to determine whether something is appropriate, I am fine with "this is not appropriate".

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