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“FD&S is no way to be.”

Since: Feb 13

Huntingdon, TN

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#82557
Mar 19, 2013
 
Mimi Seattle wrote:
I'm going to do whatever I can,*can* being the operative word, but I will not allow her really, really, really bad choices to turn my life upside down.
IMO that is THE most important thing for you. You can't jeopardize yourself. She has to appreciate that there are reasonable limits to her expectations, and you are entitled to her respect of those limits.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

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#82558
Mar 19, 2013
 
Sam I Am GEAM wrote:
Wow. This kid is definitely beyond rehabilitation:
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/ohio...
He's a teenager who killed 3 other teens, and at his sentencing hearing he wore a white t-shirt on which he had written "Killer," and he flipped off the victims' families. Lock him up and throw away the key.
Wow. I don't even remember that shooting.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

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#82559
Mar 19, 2013
 

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Hang in there, Mimi. Sounds like you have the right attitude. Throw out the life preserver, but don't get dragged in yourself.

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Tacoma, WA

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#82560
Mar 19, 2013
 
Sam I Am GEAM wrote:
<quoted text>
IMO that is THE most important thing for you. You can't jeopardize yourself. She has to appreciate that there are reasonable limits to her expectations, and you are entitled to her respect of those limits.
Thanks for that. It helps (psychologically) when other people see it the way I do. I'm not her mother you know? Even if I was, like I said, she's gonna be 46 years old in 5 days. Seriously, she has an almost-20-years-old kid. Not like she's some kid just starting out and not knowing how the world works.

FWIW I know I'm all over the map. She *is* my sister, and if she doesn't get out for good he *will* kill her. I can see the writing on the wall. I *have* to help her however I can. I can't NOT do something, but I am so totally pissed off that it's necessary at all...if that makes sense to you guys. <sigh>

#needtogotothebeachuntilthisbl owsover

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Tacoma, WA

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#82561
Mar 19, 2013
 
Matilda77 wrote:
Hang in there, Mimi. Sounds like you have the right attitude. Throw out the life preserver, but don't get dragged in yourself.
Thanks.:D

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Tacoma, WA

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#82562
Mar 19, 2013
 
The biggest issue? She's gonna want to use my stuff. My bathroom, my chair, my plates...

Mimi is bad at sharing.

Shopping list: paper plates, those disposable towels for the bathroom...Lysol wipes...

#gallowshumor

“It made sense at the time....”

Since: May 09

Schaumburg, IL

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#82563
Mar 19, 2013
 

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Mimi, i agree with sam... do what you can, under promise and over deliver. My SIL recently asked for some cash to help wiht bills, then didn't ahve many tables at work for a couple days, so she needed more moeny. we've told her time and again that we don't keep much cash on hand. so wehn she asked for more, we offered to give her a check for the landlord for the hihger amount.

she has a "gentleman friend", adn as bad an idea as i think it is for them to talk about moving in, it's a wise business decision. the rent & utilities will be much less, before splitting, so she feels taht she "needs" to do this to feel independent.

Hopefully your sister will come to realize that some of her issues are clouded by the drugs, and now that she's in a new place, she has so many new opportunities to clean up and clean house. And i hope that you will find time for yourself to do what makes yuo happy, too.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

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#82564
Mar 19, 2013
 
Mimi Seattle wrote:
<quoted text>
Thanks for that. It helps (psychologically) when other people see it the way I do. I'm not her mother you know? Even if I was, like I said, she's gonna be 46 years old in 5 days. Seriously, she has an almost-20-years-old kid. Not like she's some kid just starting out and not knowing how the world works.
FWIW I know I'm all over the map. She *is* my sister, and if she doesn't get out for good he *will* kill her. I can see the writing on the wall. I *have* to help her however I can. I can't NOT do something, but I am so totally pissed off that it's necessary at all...if that makes sense to you guys. <sigh>
#needtogotothebeachuntilthisbl owsover
This is how J is about his family. He could've said "Feck all y'all." a long time ago, but just can't. I don't understand it, a lot of the time, but I respect it.

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

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#82565
Mar 19, 2013
 
Mimi Seattle wrote:
<quoted text>
Thanks for that. It helps (psychologically) when other people see it the way I do. I'm not her mother you know? Even if I was, like I said, she's gonna be 46 years old in 5 days. Seriously, she has an almost-20-years-old kid. Not like she's some kid just starting out and not knowing how the world works.
FWIW I know I'm all over the map. She *is* my sister, and if she doesn't get out for good he *will* kill her. I can see the writing on the wall. I *have* to help her however I can. I can't NOT do something, but I am so totally pissed off that it's necessary at all...if that makes sense to you guys. <sigh>
#needtogotothebeachuntilthisbl owsover
Total sense. I'd get a therapist that could talk her through all of her options. Some people don't really listen to family. A stranger can say the same thing and suddenly it's brilliant and the relative is stupid. Plus, a therapist might know other helpful things/places that maybe you haven't heard about. As you say:{shrug} FWIW

“It made sense at the time....”

Since: May 09

Schaumburg, IL

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#82566
Mar 19, 2013
 
Mimi Seattle wrote:
<quoted text>
Thanks for that. It helps (psychologically) when other people see it the way I do. I'm not her mother you know? Even if I was, like I said, she's gonna be 46 years old in 5 days. Seriously, she has an almost-20-years-old kid. Not like she's some kid just starting out and not knowing how the world works.
FWIW I know I'm all over the map. She *is* my sister, and if she doesn't get out for good he *will* kill her. I can see the writing on the wall. I *have* to help her however I can. I can't NOT do something, but I am so totally pissed off that it's necessary at all...if that makes sense to you guys. <sigh>
#needtogotothebeachuntilthisbl owsover
I hear ya... taht's how we are with my SIL. her bottoming out wasn't anywhere near waht your sister's is/was/will be. but, her jackass did use the "if i can't have her no one can" line. hubby & i have talked all along, adn we're in agreement to keep helping her as long as she's moving forward. once she backslides, the bank is closing. and we're taking care of us, trying not to let helping her drag us down.

Since: Jan 10

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#82567
Mar 19, 2013
 
Mimi Seattle wrote:
The biggest issue? She's gonna want to use my stuff. My bathroom, my chair, my plates...
Mimi is bad at sharing.
Shopping list: paper plates, those disposable towels for the bathroom...Lysol wipes...
#gallowshumor
Don't forget the booze.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

United States

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#82568
Mar 19, 2013
 

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Ya know, not everyone wants to hear about the mundane intricacies and everyday drama of people's family members. Can't you guys take it to another thread...?

Since: Jan 10

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#82569
Mar 19, 2013
 
My boss is out sick two days in a row now -- she's rarely sick. One of the nosey know-it-all partners ALWAYS asks what people have, what kind of illness did they have, etc. He'll grill you when you are back to work from behing home sick. He just came over now and asked what illness does my boss have. She has a bad case of none of your fucking business.

This guy does this to me, too, after I"ve been out sick. DUde, it was cramps or my bowels turned to liquid, either way, MYOB.

Geez, just yesterday, I covered the front desk from 8 until 11:30 b/c our receptionist was out with an appointment.

Partner: "Oh, is S out sick?"
Me: No, she just won't be in until 11:30.
Partner: What's she doing?
Me: I don't know.(all of this said with a very flat, don't know, don't care, go away tone)
Partner: Well I hope she's feeling okay.

Whatever. I know then when he stopped by her desk he was all in her business with whatever she had going on in the morning. This guy doesn't let up. And b/c his son and DIL are doctors, he thinks he knows as much as a doctor does and will actually give medical advice.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

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#82570
Mar 19, 2013
 
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
My boss is out sick two days in a row now -- she's rarely sick. One of the nosey know-it-all partners ALWAYS asks what people have, what kind of illness did they have, etc. He'll grill you when you are back to work from behing home sick. He just came over now and asked what illness does my boss have. She has a bad case of none of your fucking business.
This guy does this to me, too, after I"ve been out sick. DUde, it was cramps or my bowels turned to liquid, either way, MYOB.
Geez, just yesterday, I covered the front desk from 8 until 11:30 b/c our receptionist was out with an appointment.
Partner: "Oh, is S out sick?"
Me: No, she just won't be in until 11:30.
Partner: What's she doing?
Me: I don't know.(all of this said with a very flat, don't know, don't care, go away tone)
Partner: Well I hope she's feeling okay.
Whatever. I know then when he stopped by her desk he was all in her business with whatever she had going on in the morning. This guy doesn't let up. And b/c his son and DIL are doctors, he thinks he knows as much as a doctor does and will actually give medical advice.
WTH is wrong with him?

I once said "I have to leave early for an eye doctor appointment." and my co-worker said "TMI, nobody needs to know!" He's a weird guy. I don't know what goes on at his eye doctor appointments.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

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#82571
Mar 19, 2013
 
I feel so crappy. I've been treating my body like a garbage disposal lately. I think I drank 5 or 6 nights in a row last week. So, as of yesterday, I'm back on low carb. But in the meantime, I'm just tired and lethargic. I hope this day ends soon.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

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#82572
Mar 19, 2013
 
Matilda77 wrote:
I feel so crappy. I've been treating my body like a garbage disposal lately. I think I drank 5 or 6 nights in a row last week. So, as of yesterday, I'm back on low carb. But in the meantime, I'm just tired and lethargic. I hope this day ends soon.
sugar. get off any sugar and you will perk up

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#82573
Mar 19, 2013
 
Will do skippy, just as soon as you take your liberal left wing republican wicckan political comments outta here!
edogxxx wrote:
Ya know, not everyone wants to hear about the mundane intricacies and everyday drama of people's family members. Can't you guys take it to another thread...?

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

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#82574
Mar 19, 2013
 
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>sugar. get off any sugar and you will perk up
Yup. I know it. I'm drinking a Coke Zero right now, though, because they were out of unsweetened iced tea. This is probably not helping. Chemical sugar probably isn't much better.

“FD&S is no way to be.”

Since: Feb 13

Huntingdon, TN

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#82575
Mar 19, 2013
 
edogxxx wrote:
Ya know, not everyone wants to hear about the mundane intricacies and everyday drama of people's family members. Can't you guys take it to another thread...?
AheadupassnoncontributingPOSse zwut?

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

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#82577
Mar 19, 2013
 
Matilda77 wrote:
<quoted text>
Yup. I know it. I'm drinking a Coke Zero right now, though, because they were out of unsweetened iced tea. This is probably not helping. Chemical sugar probably isn't much better.
My diet says the only sweetener alowed is Stevia. It has been efective for me.

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