Topix Chitown Regulars

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#82552 Mar 19, 2013
Mimi Seattle wrote:
In other news...
I got told yesterday afternoon that my sister will be here tomorrow night and I have to go to Amtrak to pick her up.
#herewego...
Where is the 12 year old? Will he be transferring schools?
Given your recent comments about not asking for help, do you have a support system in place to take care of YOU?(Besides us of course) Seriously, this is a big undertaking.

You have hung tough before. Hang tough on this one lady.

As soemone else said, at least its Amtrack and not Bakersfield.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#82553 Mar 19, 2013
Sam I Am GEAM wrote:
Wow. This kid is definitely beyond rehabilitation:
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/ohio...
He's a teenager who killed 3 other teens, and at his sentencing hearing he wore a white t-shirt on which he had written "Killer," and he flipped off the victims' families. Lock him up and throw away the key.
""This hand that pulled the trigger that killed your sons now masturbates to the memory. F--- all of you,"

Enjoy the anal rape, kid.

“FD&S is no way to be.”

Since: Feb 13

Cedar Grove, TN

#82554 Mar 19, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
""This hand that pulled the trigger that killed your sons now masturbates to the memory. F--- all of you,"
Enjoy the anal rape, kid.
No kidding. I think someone might not have an easy transition from small town Ohio school yard to prison yard. He is going to get woooooorrrrnnnnnnn out.

Can you imagine being the public defender who had to sit next to that piece of crap?

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#82555 Mar 19, 2013
Jess, Sam, Pelly thanks you guys. It's not like I didn't know this was coming, at some point.

Pelly: I assume he will be transferring schools. He is coming with her. She has a friend she wants to stay with, so at least it won't be here for more than a day or so. I'm actually going to try to talk her into going to the YWCA DV shelter instead. They have so many programs to help; legal, counseling, housing, plus it's a safe, locked, hidden place where she can take the time to get it together. Her friend can't really offer that. They also have the programs to help even for women who aren't in the shelter, so maybe she will at least take advantage of that.

I'm going to do whatever I can,*can* being the operative word, but I will not allow her really, really, really bad choices to turn my life upside down.

SHE married that POS and bred with him, and stayed with him way beyond when she knew she needed to get out, not me.

I think she probably has some form of something akin to Stockholm syndrome and has been in the mire so long she doesn't know HOW to help herself, but she will have to learn, and have to take charge of her own stuff.

I'm also (I think I said this before) going to try to talk her into going into rehab. She's never been so there's a chance she might be successful. I think there's a good chance that if she gets all the junk out of her system, and feels normal again, she will like it, if that makes sense.

Dude you're going to be 46 on Sunday. time to get.it.together.

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#82556 Mar 19, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
""This hand that pulled the trigger that killed your sons now masturbates to the memory. F--- all of you,"
Enjoy the anal rape, kid.
Wow.

“FD&S is no way to be.”

Since: Feb 13

Cedar Grove, TN

#82557 Mar 19, 2013
Mimi Seattle wrote:
I'm going to do whatever I can,*can* being the operative word, but I will not allow her really, really, really bad choices to turn my life upside down.
IMO that is THE most important thing for you. You can't jeopardize yourself. She has to appreciate that there are reasonable limits to her expectations, and you are entitled to her respect of those limits.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#82558 Mar 19, 2013
Sam I Am GEAM wrote:
Wow. This kid is definitely beyond rehabilitation:
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/ohio...
He's a teenager who killed 3 other teens, and at his sentencing hearing he wore a white t-shirt on which he had written "Killer," and he flipped off the victims' families. Lock him up and throw away the key.
Wow. I don't even remember that shooting.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#82559 Mar 19, 2013
Hang in there, Mimi. Sounds like you have the right attitude. Throw out the life preserver, but don't get dragged in yourself.

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#82560 Mar 19, 2013
Sam I Am GEAM wrote:
<quoted text>
IMO that is THE most important thing for you. You can't jeopardize yourself. She has to appreciate that there are reasonable limits to her expectations, and you are entitled to her respect of those limits.
Thanks for that. It helps (psychologically) when other people see it the way I do. I'm not her mother you know? Even if I was, like I said, she's gonna be 46 years old in 5 days. Seriously, she has an almost-20-years-old kid. Not like she's some kid just starting out and not knowing how the world works.

FWIW I know I'm all over the map. She *is* my sister, and if she doesn't get out for good he *will* kill her. I can see the writing on the wall. I *have* to help her however I can. I can't NOT do something, but I am so totally pissed off that it's necessary at all...if that makes sense to you guys. <sigh>

#needtogotothebeachuntilthisbl owsover

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#82561 Mar 19, 2013
Matilda77 wrote:
Hang in there, Mimi. Sounds like you have the right attitude. Throw out the life preserver, but don't get dragged in yourself.
Thanks.:D

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#82562 Mar 19, 2013
The biggest issue? She's gonna want to use my stuff. My bathroom, my chair, my plates...

Mimi is bad at sharing.

Shopping list: paper plates, those disposable towels for the bathroom...Lysol wipes...

#gallowshumor

“It made sense at the time....”

Since: May 09

Schaumburg, IL

#82563 Mar 19, 2013
Mimi, i agree with sam... do what you can, under promise and over deliver. My SIL recently asked for some cash to help wiht bills, then didn't ahve many tables at work for a couple days, so she needed more moeny. we've told her time and again that we don't keep much cash on hand. so wehn she asked for more, we offered to give her a check for the landlord for the hihger amount.

she has a "gentleman friend", adn as bad an idea as i think it is for them to talk about moving in, it's a wise business decision. the rent & utilities will be much less, before splitting, so she feels taht she "needs" to do this to feel independent.

Hopefully your sister will come to realize that some of her issues are clouded by the drugs, and now that she's in a new place, she has so many new opportunities to clean up and clean house. And i hope that you will find time for yourself to do what makes yuo happy, too.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#82564 Mar 19, 2013
Mimi Seattle wrote:
<quoted text>
Thanks for that. It helps (psychologically) when other people see it the way I do. I'm not her mother you know? Even if I was, like I said, she's gonna be 46 years old in 5 days. Seriously, she has an almost-20-years-old kid. Not like she's some kid just starting out and not knowing how the world works.
FWIW I know I'm all over the map. She *is* my sister, and if she doesn't get out for good he *will* kill her. I can see the writing on the wall. I *have* to help her however I can. I can't NOT do something, but I am so totally pissed off that it's necessary at all...if that makes sense to you guys. <sigh>
#needtogotothebeachuntilthisbl owsover
This is how J is about his family. He could've said "Feck all y'all." a long time ago, but just can't. I don't understand it, a lot of the time, but I respect it.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#82565 Mar 19, 2013
Mimi Seattle wrote:
<quoted text>
Thanks for that. It helps (psychologically) when other people see it the way I do. I'm not her mother you know? Even if I was, like I said, she's gonna be 46 years old in 5 days. Seriously, she has an almost-20-years-old kid. Not like she's some kid just starting out and not knowing how the world works.
FWIW I know I'm all over the map. She *is* my sister, and if she doesn't get out for good he *will* kill her. I can see the writing on the wall. I *have* to help her however I can. I can't NOT do something, but I am so totally pissed off that it's necessary at all...if that makes sense to you guys. <sigh>
#needtogotothebeachuntilthisbl owsover
Total sense. I'd get a therapist that could talk her through all of her options. Some people don't really listen to family. A stranger can say the same thing and suddenly it's brilliant and the relative is stupid. Plus, a therapist might know other helpful things/places that maybe you haven't heard about. As you say:{shrug} FWIW

“It made sense at the time....”

Since: May 09

Schaumburg, IL

#82566 Mar 19, 2013
Mimi Seattle wrote:
<quoted text>
Thanks for that. It helps (psychologically) when other people see it the way I do. I'm not her mother you know? Even if I was, like I said, she's gonna be 46 years old in 5 days. Seriously, she has an almost-20-years-old kid. Not like she's some kid just starting out and not knowing how the world works.
FWIW I know I'm all over the map. She *is* my sister, and if she doesn't get out for good he *will* kill her. I can see the writing on the wall. I *have* to help her however I can. I can't NOT do something, but I am so totally pissed off that it's necessary at all...if that makes sense to you guys. <sigh>
#needtogotothebeachuntilthisbl owsover
I hear ya... taht's how we are with my SIL. her bottoming out wasn't anywhere near waht your sister's is/was/will be. but, her jackass did use the "if i can't have her no one can" line. hubby & i have talked all along, adn we're in agreement to keep helping her as long as she's moving forward. once she backslides, the bank is closing. and we're taking care of us, trying not to let helping her drag us down.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#82567 Mar 19, 2013
Mimi Seattle wrote:
The biggest issue? She's gonna want to use my stuff. My bathroom, my chair, my plates...
Mimi is bad at sharing.
Shopping list: paper plates, those disposable towels for the bathroom...Lysol wipes...
#gallowshumor
Don't forget the booze.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

United States

#82568 Mar 19, 2013
Ya know, not everyone wants to hear about the mundane intricacies and everyday drama of people's family members. Can't you guys take it to another thread...?

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#82569 Mar 19, 2013
My boss is out sick two days in a row now -- she's rarely sick. One of the nosey know-it-all partners ALWAYS asks what people have, what kind of illness did they have, etc. He'll grill you when you are back to work from behing home sick. He just came over now and asked what illness does my boss have. She has a bad case of none of your fucking business.

This guy does this to me, too, after I"ve been out sick. DUde, it was cramps or my bowels turned to liquid, either way, MYOB.

Geez, just yesterday, I covered the front desk from 8 until 11:30 b/c our receptionist was out with an appointment.

Partner: "Oh, is S out sick?"
Me: No, she just won't be in until 11:30.
Partner: What's she doing?
Me: I don't know.(all of this said with a very flat, don't know, don't care, go away tone)
Partner: Well I hope she's feeling okay.

Whatever. I know then when he stopped by her desk he was all in her business with whatever she had going on in the morning. This guy doesn't let up. And b/c his son and DIL are doctors, he thinks he knows as much as a doctor does and will actually give medical advice.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#82570 Mar 19, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
My boss is out sick two days in a row now -- she's rarely sick. One of the nosey know-it-all partners ALWAYS asks what people have, what kind of illness did they have, etc. He'll grill you when you are back to work from behing home sick. He just came over now and asked what illness does my boss have. She has a bad case of none of your fucking business.
This guy does this to me, too, after I"ve been out sick. DUde, it was cramps or my bowels turned to liquid, either way, MYOB.
Geez, just yesterday, I covered the front desk from 8 until 11:30 b/c our receptionist was out with an appointment.
Partner: "Oh, is S out sick?"
Me: No, she just won't be in until 11:30.
Partner: What's she doing?
Me: I don't know.(all of this said with a very flat, don't know, don't care, go away tone)
Partner: Well I hope she's feeling okay.
Whatever. I know then when he stopped by her desk he was all in her business with whatever she had going on in the morning. This guy doesn't let up. And b/c his son and DIL are doctors, he thinks he knows as much as a doctor does and will actually give medical advice.
WTH is wrong with him?

I once said "I have to leave early for an eye doctor appointment." and my co-worker said "TMI, nobody needs to know!" He's a weird guy. I don't know what goes on at his eye doctor appointments.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#82571 Mar 19, 2013
I feel so crappy. I've been treating my body like a garbage disposal lately. I think I drank 5 or 6 nights in a row last week. So, as of yesterday, I'm back on low carb. But in the meantime, I'm just tired and lethargic. I hope this day ends soon.

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