“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#82546 Mar 19, 2013
Well, looks like you dont have to do all that driving now....
Just how big is your house anyway? Dont you already have a boarder?
Mimi Seattle wrote:
In other news...
I got told yesterday afternoon that my sister will be here tomorrow night and I have to go to Amtrak to pick her up.
#herewego...

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#82547 Mar 19, 2013
Sam I Am GEAM wrote:
<quoted text>
I take it you are less than thrilled about your sister coming?
I just dread the DRAMA (yes it's necessary that it's capitalized) that I *know* is coming with her. I'm glad she's leaving before her POS husband is released from jail, but she's cutting it so close (he gets out in April).

She's a lot of work. Even knowing I'm only going to help her to help herself, she's a lot of work...

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#82548 Mar 19, 2013
RACE wrote:
Well, looks like you dont have to do all that driving now....
Just how big is your house anyway? Dont you already have a boarder?
<quoted text>
True. I didn't want to drive. It's a freaking apartment. Two and 1/2 bedrooms (the 1/2 is really more like a large walk in closet, but it has it's own closet-ette so...) and yeah my niece and HER daughter.

My niece doesn't get along with my sister AT ALL and is still (recently) bitching about a fight they had FIFTEEN years ago. Seriously? Let.It.Go!

Niece's daughter is apparently going back to Oklahoma..in MAY, but ok at least she's *going*. They are waiting for her aunt (I think) who works for Southwest to get her some kind of cheapie ticket. I looked up fares (one way) online the other day. Dude, don't wait,*I* will buy the ticket...just go.

/rant

Next time I move, I'm not telling anyone (ANYone) where I am. Word.

“bELieve”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#82549 Mar 19, 2013
Mimi Seattle wrote:
In other news...

I got told yesterday afternoon that my sister will be here tomorrow night and I have to go to Amtrak to pick her up.

#herewego...
Take the Serenity Prayer and secularize it any way that works for you. I wish you luck and am keeping you in my thoughts.

“FD&S is no way to be.”

Since: Feb 13

Cedar Grove, TN

#82550 Mar 19, 2013
Mimi Seattle wrote:
<quoted text>
I just dread the DRAMA (yes it's necessary that it's capitalized) that I *know* is coming with her. I'm glad she's leaving before her POS husband is released from jail, but she's cutting it so close (he gets out in April).
She's a lot of work. Even knowing I'm only going to help her to help herself, she's a lot of work...
Well good luck holding up. I hope on some level she appreciates what you are doing for her.

“FD&S is no way to be.”

Since: Feb 13

Cedar Grove, TN

#82551 Mar 19, 2013
Wow. This kid is definitely beyond rehabilitation:

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/ohio...

He's a teenager who killed 3 other teens, and at his sentencing hearing he wore a white t-shirt on which he had written "Killer," and he flipped off the victims' families. Lock him up and throw away the key.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#82552 Mar 19, 2013
Mimi Seattle wrote:
In other news...
I got told yesterday afternoon that my sister will be here tomorrow night and I have to go to Amtrak to pick her up.
#herewego...
Where is the 12 year old? Will he be transferring schools?
Given your recent comments about not asking for help, do you have a support system in place to take care of YOU?(Besides us of course) Seriously, this is a big undertaking.

You have hung tough before. Hang tough on this one lady.

As soemone else said, at least its Amtrack and not Bakersfield.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#82553 Mar 19, 2013
Sam I Am GEAM wrote:
Wow. This kid is definitely beyond rehabilitation:
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/ohio...
He's a teenager who killed 3 other teens, and at his sentencing hearing he wore a white t-shirt on which he had written "Killer," and he flipped off the victims' families. Lock him up and throw away the key.
""This hand that pulled the trigger that killed your sons now masturbates to the memory. F--- all of you,"

Enjoy the anal rape, kid.

“FD&S is no way to be.”

Since: Feb 13

Cedar Grove, TN

#82554 Mar 19, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
""This hand that pulled the trigger that killed your sons now masturbates to the memory. F--- all of you,"
Enjoy the anal rape, kid.
No kidding. I think someone might not have an easy transition from small town Ohio school yard to prison yard. He is going to get woooooorrrrnnnnnnn out.

Can you imagine being the public defender who had to sit next to that piece of crap?

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#82555 Mar 19, 2013
Jess, Sam, Pelly thanks you guys. It's not like I didn't know this was coming, at some point.

Pelly: I assume he will be transferring schools. He is coming with her. She has a friend she wants to stay with, so at least it won't be here for more than a day or so. I'm actually going to try to talk her into going to the YWCA DV shelter instead. They have so many programs to help; legal, counseling, housing, plus it's a safe, locked, hidden place where she can take the time to get it together. Her friend can't really offer that. They also have the programs to help even for women who aren't in the shelter, so maybe she will at least take advantage of that.

I'm going to do whatever I can,*can* being the operative word, but I will not allow her really, really, really bad choices to turn my life upside down.

SHE married that POS and bred with him, and stayed with him way beyond when she knew she needed to get out, not me.

I think she probably has some form of something akin to Stockholm syndrome and has been in the mire so long she doesn't know HOW to help herself, but she will have to learn, and have to take charge of her own stuff.

I'm also (I think I said this before) going to try to talk her into going into rehab. She's never been so there's a chance she might be successful. I think there's a good chance that if she gets all the junk out of her system, and feels normal again, she will like it, if that makes sense.

Dude you're going to be 46 on Sunday. time to get.it.together.

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#82556 Mar 19, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
""This hand that pulled the trigger that killed your sons now masturbates to the memory. F--- all of you,"
Enjoy the anal rape, kid.
Wow.

“FD&S is no way to be.”

Since: Feb 13

Cedar Grove, TN

#82557 Mar 19, 2013
Mimi Seattle wrote:
I'm going to do whatever I can,*can* being the operative word, but I will not allow her really, really, really bad choices to turn my life upside down.
IMO that is THE most important thing for you. You can't jeopardize yourself. She has to appreciate that there are reasonable limits to her expectations, and you are entitled to her respect of those limits.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#82558 Mar 19, 2013
Sam I Am GEAM wrote:
Wow. This kid is definitely beyond rehabilitation:
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/ohio...
He's a teenager who killed 3 other teens, and at his sentencing hearing he wore a white t-shirt on which he had written "Killer," and he flipped off the victims' families. Lock him up and throw away the key.
Wow. I don't even remember that shooting.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#82559 Mar 19, 2013
Hang in there, Mimi. Sounds like you have the right attitude. Throw out the life preserver, but don't get dragged in yourself.

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#82560 Mar 19, 2013
Sam I Am GEAM wrote:
<quoted text>
IMO that is THE most important thing for you. You can't jeopardize yourself. She has to appreciate that there are reasonable limits to her expectations, and you are entitled to her respect of those limits.
Thanks for that. It helps (psychologically) when other people see it the way I do. I'm not her mother you know? Even if I was, like I said, she's gonna be 46 years old in 5 days. Seriously, she has an almost-20-years-old kid. Not like she's some kid just starting out and not knowing how the world works.

FWIW I know I'm all over the map. She *is* my sister, and if she doesn't get out for good he *will* kill her. I can see the writing on the wall. I *have* to help her however I can. I can't NOT do something, but I am so totally pissed off that it's necessary at all...if that makes sense to you guys. <sigh>

#needtogotothebeachuntilthisbl owsover

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#82561 Mar 19, 2013
Matilda77 wrote:
Hang in there, Mimi. Sounds like you have the right attitude. Throw out the life preserver, but don't get dragged in yourself.
Thanks.:D

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#82562 Mar 19, 2013
The biggest issue? She's gonna want to use my stuff. My bathroom, my chair, my plates...

Mimi is bad at sharing.

Shopping list: paper plates, those disposable towels for the bathroom...Lysol wipes...

#gallowshumor

“It made sense at the time....”

Since: May 09

Schaumburg, IL

#82563 Mar 19, 2013
Mimi, i agree with sam... do what you can, under promise and over deliver. My SIL recently asked for some cash to help wiht bills, then didn't ahve many tables at work for a couple days, so she needed more moeny. we've told her time and again that we don't keep much cash on hand. so wehn she asked for more, we offered to give her a check for the landlord for the hihger amount.

she has a "gentleman friend", adn as bad an idea as i think it is for them to talk about moving in, it's a wise business decision. the rent & utilities will be much less, before splitting, so she feels taht she "needs" to do this to feel independent.

Hopefully your sister will come to realize that some of her issues are clouded by the drugs, and now that she's in a new place, she has so many new opportunities to clean up and clean house. And i hope that you will find time for yourself to do what makes yuo happy, too.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#82564 Mar 19, 2013
Mimi Seattle wrote:
<quoted text>
Thanks for that. It helps (psychologically) when other people see it the way I do. I'm not her mother you know? Even if I was, like I said, she's gonna be 46 years old in 5 days. Seriously, she has an almost-20-years-old kid. Not like she's some kid just starting out and not knowing how the world works.
FWIW I know I'm all over the map. She *is* my sister, and if she doesn't get out for good he *will* kill her. I can see the writing on the wall. I *have* to help her however I can. I can't NOT do something, but I am so totally pissed off that it's necessary at all...if that makes sense to you guys. <sigh>
#needtogotothebeachuntilthisbl owsover
This is how J is about his family. He could've said "Feck all y'all." a long time ago, but just can't. I don't understand it, a lot of the time, but I respect it.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#82565 Mar 19, 2013
Mimi Seattle wrote:
<quoted text>
Thanks for that. It helps (psychologically) when other people see it the way I do. I'm not her mother you know? Even if I was, like I said, she's gonna be 46 years old in 5 days. Seriously, she has an almost-20-years-old kid. Not like she's some kid just starting out and not knowing how the world works.
FWIW I know I'm all over the map. She *is* my sister, and if she doesn't get out for good he *will* kill her. I can see the writing on the wall. I *have* to help her however I can. I can't NOT do something, but I am so totally pissed off that it's necessary at all...if that makes sense to you guys. <sigh>
#needtogotothebeachuntilthisbl owsover
Total sense. I'd get a therapist that could talk her through all of her options. Some people don't really listen to family. A stranger can say the same thing and suddenly it's brilliant and the relative is stupid. Plus, a therapist might know other helpful things/places that maybe you haven't heard about. As you say:{shrug} FWIW

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