Topix Chitown Regulars

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#82470 Mar 18, 2013
Matilda77 wrote:
<quoted text>
Oh, I agree that they're not ready to get married. They can barely wipe their own asses. But they need to figure that out.
They are *not* living with us. That was pretty much the first words out of my mouth after they announced the engagement. And if they're both working at that camp this summer, he can go to his parents house on their breaks. I'm not running a damn hostel.
I think we gave them a TON of food for thought. It was pretty hilarious on my end, actually. They haven't even decided *where* they are going to have the wedding, here in Bloomington or up in the 'burbs near his family. So J's like "Well, if it's up there then you need to figure out how Grandpa is going to get up here and if he'll need a hotel and if the facility is handicapped accessable. If you have it *here* you need to consider the same for (Fiance's) family members." aaaaand I think that's when she started crying. Then we got to the financials. We dropped the ballpark figure of what our wedding cost and I think Fiance may have pooped his pants a little.
Or they can elope (or just go to a minister with mom, J and you and fiance's parents) and spend like... under $200 for marriage license, ec.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#82471 Mar 18, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
Or they can elope (or just go to a minister with mom, J and you and fiance's parents) and spend like... under $200 for marriage license, ec.
Oh, that's certainly been brought up. His dad is a bit of a control freak and would flip out. Fiance is technically an only child. I guess he had an older sister that died as a teenager. So it's Dad's only chance to see his kid get hitched. You know, until Fiance's second marriage, because getting married at 20 is generally a terrible idea.

J and I were like, well, if they're insisting that you have a wedding, then use that as a bargaining chip to help you pay for it.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#82472 Mar 18, 2013
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>Keeps moving really fast from gf to gf, can't keep attention focused on one person more than 2 weeks.
Attention Deficit
Hyperactivity.
My comment stands.
I disagree. I think he's a strange/socially awkward dude that comes on way too strong and the girl gets the F out asap. His problem is not lack of focus and attention. His problem is that he focuses too much on one person. Comes on way too strong. Scares her off. And once she's gone, he needs to find the new love of his life.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

United States

#82473 Mar 18, 2013
PEllen wrote:
Thanks Dog. Spring is coming. Keep thinking that.
What's this about a godam high of 25 on Wednesday!? Winter is NOT letting go!

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#82474 Mar 18, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>I disagree. I think he's a strange/socially awkward dude that comes on way too strong and the girl gets the F out asap. His problem is not lack of focus and attention. His problem is that he focuses too much on one person. Comes on way too strong. Scares her off. And once she's gone, he needs to find the new love of his life.
My husband will send you a thank you note although he will have no idea why or what for.

Cheeze Louise I am glad I am not single.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#82475 Mar 18, 2013
Matilda77 wrote:
<quoted text>
Oh, that's certainly been brought up. His dad is a bit of a control freak and would flip out. Fiance is technically an only child. I guess he had an older sister that died as a teenager. So it's Dad's only chance to see his kid get hitched. You know, until Fiance's second marriage, because getting married at 20 is generally a terrible idea.
J and I were like, well, if they're insisting that you have a wedding, then use that as a bargaining chip to help you pay for it.
Do you think they want to get married so they can have sex?

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#82476 Mar 18, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>I disagree. I think he's a strange/socially awkward dude that comes on way too strong and the girl gets the F out asap. His problem is not lack of focus and attention. His problem is that he focuses too much on one person. Comes on way too strong. Scares her off. And once she's gone, he needs to find the new love of his life.
ITA. This isn't ADD or hyperactivity. I know people -- including adults -- with it and they are able to handle relationships fine. your friend is like my friend Dave. Lots of one-month relationshipos under his belt.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#82477 Mar 18, 2013
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>
My husband will send you a thank you note although he will have no idea why or what for.
That will make 2 of us.

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#82479 Mar 18, 2013
Matilda77 wrote:
<quoted text>
We dropped the ballpark figure of what our wedding cost and I think Fiance may have pooped his pants a little.
heh

Sorry. I just love how you phrased this.

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#82480 Mar 18, 2013
Matilda77 wrote:
<quoted text>
if they're insisting that you have a wedding, then use that as a bargaining chip to help you pay for it.
Yeah. This is what I was thinking before I read this far. I'll shut up now. You have it covered.:D

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#82481 Mar 18, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
Do you think they want to get married so they can have sex?
THis is what I was thinking. Except for the fact that I don't think she's any more ready for a sexual relationship than she is marriage (read: maturity) I think that that would be a way better idea than up and getting married. But, then I'm not all into a religion that tells me I have to BE married, etc., so I can see how marriage would seem like the best/only option for them (or others).

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#82482 Mar 18, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
Do you think they want to get married so they can have sex?
Yeah, that's probably part of it. I feel also like she's just trying to escape a terrible childhood.

J had a nice loooong talk to her about her interpersonal skills, too. Not sure if it will do any good. Fiance is majoring in religious studies of some sort. If he wants to be a pastor or whatever, pastor's wives have to be, yanno, kind and diplomatic.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#82483 Mar 18, 2013
I'm curious as to what fiance's parents think about this. I mean, it'sa free world, do what you want, but I think for *most* people, getting married while in college can be a big mistake.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#82484 Mar 18, 2013
In my experience, people that go to Christian colleges or are otherwise super religious get married to the first person that comes along. I guess my sister's alma mater has a divorce rate of 70% or so. It's because they get married at 20-ish, so they can plow.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#82485 Mar 18, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
I'm curious as to what fiance's parents think about this. I mean, it'sa free world, do what you want, but I think for *most* people, getting married while in college can be a big mistake.
I think they're on the same page as us. I think they've given the same chats we've given them. Like, take your time, you change a lot between 18 and 25 which is why it's better to get married older, yadda yadda. But they don't want to freak out because it might make things worse.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#82486 Mar 18, 2013
Anyway...stay tuned, folks. I'm sure I will have more hilarious tales. I may need to up my zoloft dose once we get in to the thick of things, since she showed more bridezilla tendancies yesterday than I had in 10 months of planning.

My work gift shop sells wedding planner books so I'm going to pick her up one today. Then I'm going to send her some websites, like offbeatbride.com .

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#82487 Mar 18, 2013
Heh, a MMA fight where each guy knocks the other one out at the same time:

http://www.cnn.com/video/...

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#82488 Mar 18, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
ITA. This isn't ADD or hyperactivity. I know people -- including adults -- with it and they are able to handle relationships fine. your friend is like my friend Dave. Lots of one-month relationshipos under his belt.
Whoa! Hold on! Back up just a minute!

Let's not get all crazy and call this dude my friend. This is a former classmate who sent me a FB request. I accepted. And have not exchanged a single message with him. I would not turn my back to him he came up to me on the street and said hello, but I also would not walk across a room to say 'hello' to him if I happened to notice him in the same place.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#82489 Mar 18, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>Whoa! Hold on! Back up just a minute!
Let's not get all crazy and call this dude my friend. This is a former classmate who sent me a FB request. I accepted. And have not exchanged a single message with him. I would not turn my back to him he came up to me on the street and said hello, but I also would not walk across a room to say 'hello' to him if I happened to notice him in the same place.
So, what you're saying is that you two are BFF, right?:D

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#82490 Mar 18, 2013

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