A) Discuss what you need to as much as you want. That's what we're here for.I promise I have other things to discuss than funerals, but I have to ask. Where y'all live, is it customary to give money to the family of the deceased money at or around the time of the funeral? I guess I understand why this would have been done in the past (before insurance was widely available) or if the community knows that the widow is left in great hardship, but I just don't get it sometimes.
My MIL received around $1300 in cards and envelopes at the wake, PLUS flowers, food baskets, etc. My FIL had life insurance and they have no dependents.
She is going to spend it all (plus some of her own $) on a memorial plaque with his name on it at the back of the church.
B) I have no idea what's customary since I've only been to one funeral ever (see "jamwow doesn't know how to grieve" which is related to MY favorite topic).
C) I think your MIL's idea of what to do with the money is lovely.