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Toj

“Equality”

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#81110
Feb 25, 2013
 

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Matilda77 wrote:
<quoted text>
I don't think he'd ever get sick of it. It's just his personality.
I should also add that we believe they're isolating themselves at school, too. I think he gets along with his roommates okay, but she is odd woman out on her floor (shocker, I know). Everyone else, according to them, is "stupid". They're doing well academically, because they study together all the time, but I don't think they're doing any activities that would make them any new friends. Neither have jobs.
Her lesson to learn, Matilda. Sit down and tell J that you need your house to yourself (meaning you and him). Explain how it makes you feel.

If it is any way like me, I feel like I do not have privacy, I cannot do what I want to do b/c I have guests. It takes up extra time AND money.

Maybe tell him you don't live in a group home b/c that's not your style and it's starting to wear on you.

“suffers from formicophilia ”

Since: May 09

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#81111
Feb 25, 2013
 

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I think you should chillax, Mattie. Coming home for a weekend once a month shouldn't drain you emotionally. I would come home once or twice every month. I was only three and a half hours away and I had friends back home anyway.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

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#81112
Feb 25, 2013
 
Toj wrote:
<quoted text>
No. You are not unreasonable. What it is -- you're probably an introvert and need your time and he's an extrovert and loves to have people all around him.
He doesn't understand you is all.
That's very much what it is.

Since: Jan 10

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#81113
Feb 25, 2013
 

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RACE wrote:
Why?
Why cant I tell an atheist that they cant NOT believe until they have studied all religions and then reject them all. How many atheists even know what a church or religion is all about? They only see the surface. Of course I am talking about the atheists who were never members of a church, not the ones who left theirs.
And why must a person research different religions? If you experience one, and it "Feels" right then why bother? Why should picking a religion be equated with buying a car?
<quoted text>
MOst atheists most likely grew up with religion, then rejected religion later in their life, rather than were raised as atheists.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

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#81114
Feb 25, 2013
 

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Toj wrote:
<quoted text>
Her lesson to learn, Matilda. Sit down and tell J that you need your house to yourself (meaning you and him). Explain how it makes you feel.
If it is any way like me, I feel like I do not have privacy, I cannot do what I want to do b/c I have guests. It takes up extra time AND money.
Maybe tell him you don't live in a group home b/c that's not your style and it's starting to wear on you.
Oh, I do like that last line especially.

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#81115
Feb 25, 2013
 

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I don't need to shop around for different religions to know i"m a nonbeliever. Idon't believe in a deity. finding a different religion with different rules and beliefs isn't going to change that. I was fine with Buddhism (ressearch it, etc.) until I found out they have mysticism in their religion as well. Done with that.

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

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#81116
Feb 25, 2013
 
RACE wrote:
No, you are bashing and wrapping it in a nice little bow.
You think people who have faith are lemmings, you try to say that since they have not sampled all the religions, they are just mindless drones. And you say this only because you feel superior to them and you want to mock them and their faith.
Your contempt for them is so apparent, and you are kidding only yourself in thinking yourself clever.
Or perhaps you would like to tell me how much respect you have for people who have found a faith, no matter how they found it.
Bet you wont!
<quoted text>
I'm with Sam on this one. I don't read where she's bashing. Maybe it's hitting too close to home where you're questioning yourself that you jumped on board with how you were raised.

I'll clearly state I am/was Catholic b/c that's what my parents were and how they raised me. I question the faith thing all the time and even go back and forth about the god thing.

When my mother grew up they were taught to never question b/c then you will go to hells-bells b/c you're not a true believer. She was taught that the priest was an extension of god.(Kind of puts in perspective for me how pedophile priests got away with it so long.)

There's room for people to believe, not believe or be in between. To make an observation about something doesn't mean someone is saying YOUR actions were that.

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#81117
Feb 25, 2013
 

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Going home once a month is too often. Twice a month? Why even go away to college then?

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

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#81118
Feb 25, 2013
 

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j_m_w wrote:
Random vent: I'm never waiting until 3 weeks out from a trip to book a flight again. It's a work trip so the insane price isn't coming out of my pocket, but I'm stuck with middle seats. To Vegas, so 4 separate flights and not a short amount of travel time.
Get your butt to the gate early when you flying and arrange to have your seat changed. It would help if you had status, but maybe you'll get a sympathetic person to help you out.

“FD&S is no way to be.”

Since: Feb 13

Huntingdon, TN

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#81119
Feb 25, 2013
 

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RACE wrote:
No, you are bashing and wrapping it in a nice little bow.
You think people who have faith are lemmings, you try to say that since they have not sampled all the religions, they are just mindless drones. And you say this only because you feel superior to them and you want to mock them and their faith.
Your contempt for them is so apparent, and you are kidding only yourself in thinking yourself clever.
Or perhaps you would like to tell me how much respect you have for people who have found a faith, no matter how they found it.
Bet you wont!
<quoted text>
Once again, you villanize me to generate something else to argue against since you can't argue the point. And you're projecting. Once again your disdain for me personally precludes you from staying on point.

The point is not my regard or lack thereof for religion or religious people. The point is that most people of faith don't choose their religion, they adopt it. You made the statement about "hey if the first thing I experience works for me then what's wrong with that?" My response was and continues to be that that is not choosing. That is simply accepting what is laid out for you by someone else. That is the point. Contest that. We all know you want me to die in some horribile, painful manner. Quit beating that drum and actually address the substance of a position and not just your disdain for that position.

I don't have anything against people of faith, provided they have made a choice and have not simply accepted whatever was handed down to them. Taking whatever your parents handed you and running with it because it's what you know is not a choice. Address that point. Bet you won't!

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

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#81120
Feb 25, 2013
 
j_m_w wrote:
<quoted text>
Two each way. A friend of mine just told me to start checking with the airlines (there are two involved) about a week in advance. He said they'll start bumping platinum people, etc. to first class and that should free up some aisle or window seats. Fingers crossed!
That's a long way to be stuck in the middle.

My friend R and I are flying to Dallas on Thursday for a girl's weekend (of course, a weekend that my SIL is *not* coming home...) and we get to fly right from here (Bloomington) to Dallas, nonstop, and the plane is one of those one seat on one side of the aisle and two on the other. Nothing but window and aisle seats, yeah!

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Tacoma, WA

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#81121
Feb 25, 2013
 
RACE wrote:
I believe I made sure to clarify I was not speaking about people such as yourself.
<quoted text>
I know. I read it. It's Monday. I'm bored. Trolling...

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

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#81122
Feb 25, 2013
 
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
I don't need to shop around for different religions to know i"m a nonbeliever. Idon't believe in a deity. finding a different religion with different rules and beliefs isn't going to change that. I was fine with Buddhism (ressearch it, etc.) until I found out they have mysticism in their religion as well. Done with that.
I can understand that.

I drive myself nuts when I start wondering how did the first thing come into being. How did energy get started?(sigh) I should have gone into science or something. Maybe then I'd understand. But you always go down to a lower element.

“bELieve”

Since: Jun 09

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#81123
Feb 25, 2013
 

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Matilda77 wrote:
Totally not trying to steer the conversation away from religion but...quick poll:

Those of you that went away to college and stayed in a dorm, how often did you come home?

J and I had a blowout last night after SIL and her fiance left--SIL has been home at least once a month since she left for school. Since November, she's had her fiance with her every time, which means there's somebody sleeping in my living room every morning. I'm tired of houseguests. J doesn't see how it's an inconvenience. They come home Friday evening--about an hour after I get home from work and leave right as I'm about to go to bed Sunday night. That's my entire weekend.

Blowup occurred after SIL saw an invite we got for a first birthday party for a friend's kid in three weeks. SIL's all "Oh, I'll have to come back for that!" J's all "Yeah!"

Granted, they go out and do stuff when they're here, and I have my own social life, but fuuuuuuck. I don't want this go on for the next 3.5 years. I'm TIRED, y'all. Am I being unreasonable?
I had friends who went home once a month, esp during their freshmen year. That is a hard transition and even harder if you are made to feel like you don't have a home anymore (or not welcome home) because you attend college for 9 months out of the year. Pushing her away will drive her closer to her fiance.

Maybe it would help if you and J sit down with her (and fiance if he is always there) and talk to them about why college is important. You learn as much, if not more, outside the classroom as you do inside and this is the time to investigate clubs and activities that they will not have this access to once they leave campus.

Also, you can let her know that she is always welcome in your/her house, but you will not be changing any plans to accommodate her and her guest. Emphasize that fiance is a guest, which means that sometimes you would like to see her without him (not that you disapprove, but she is still her own person not simply half of a couple).

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Tacoma, WA

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#81124
Feb 25, 2013
 
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
MOst atheists most likely grew up with religion, then rejected religion later in their life, rather than were raised as atheists.
That was me. I was raised Captist. Talk about bi-polar!

I never ever told Christopher what to believe and allowed him to explore religion. I let him go with friends. I helped him find answers to religious questions if I didn't know them. When he was feeling me out about how I would feel if he "decided to become X" I told him that my only criteria was that he do/follow something because he really believed it, not as a way to annoy me because it wouldn't.

I know and respect a lot of people of faith...as long as they are honorable and try to live what they say they believe.

In the end, he believed as I do. I overheard him explaining his non-belief to people a couple of times. It was never "because I was raised that way." I honestly don't think he simply adopted it. I (and his dad...a Wiccan by the way) were definitely an influence, but we encouraged him to explore, research, try out, experience, and ask questions. Not just about religion, but about everything. <shrug>

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#81125
Feb 25, 2013
 

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No, I was raised in one religion, went to a catholic school, and then had to join another another church when my father remarried. I dont subscribe to any particular faith, but I do believe in a creator, and I believe my creator wants me to do many of the things that others read about in their books. I believe that if you need a organized religion, and a specific place to practice that religion, then have at it. If you need to believe that the Jesus is the son of God, and his death washes away your sins and thru that you can get into heaven, then have at it.

For me, I am in church when I am on my boat, and I probably thank God for my blessings more often than most. I dont need a building to give thanks or pray, and I dont need someone to talk to God on my behalf to be forgiven my sins. But I dont knock those that do.

As for sam, you have not read some of the spiteful, taunting, and down right mean things she has said to people who have faith. There is/was a thread where people were simply posting that they loved jesus, loved God and loved to pray. Her comments to them was disgusting, and unwarranted. Dont believe me? Use your magical google powers and find that thread and read her posts for yourself.
Toj wrote:
<quoted text>
I'm with Sam on this one. I don't read where she's bashing. Maybe it's hitting too close to home where you're questioning yourself that you jumped on board with how you were raised.
I'll clearly state I am/was Catholic b/c that's what my parents were and how they raised me. I question the faith thing all the time and even go back and forth about the god thing.
When my mother grew up they were taught to never question b/c then you will go to hells-bells b/c you're not a true believer. She was taught that the priest was an extension of god.(Kind of puts in perspective for me how pedophile priests got away with it so long.)
There's room for people to believe, not believe or be in between. To make an observation about something doesn't mean someone is saying YOUR actions were that.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#81126
Feb 25, 2013
 

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To answer your questions,
I think you are wrong to say that people adopt the religion presented. That is the purpose of confirmation, the person CHOOSES to become a member of that religion. How many other religions they have experienced is not relevant, they are choosing and that disputes your statement.

Adopt/choose?? What difference does it make? Why do you hate people who adopt the same religion that their parents have? What is wrong with them?

Why do you place such criteria on whether or you you will respect a person or their faith.

Answer that!
Sam I Am GEAM wrote:
<quoted text>
The point is that most people of faith don't choose their religion, they adopt it. You made the statement about "hey if the first thing I experience works for me then what's wrong with that?" My response was and continues to be that that is not choosing. That is simply accepting what is laid out for you by someone else. That is the point. Contest that.

I don't have anything against people of faith, provided they have made a choice and have not simply accepted whatever was handed down to them. Taking whatever your parents handed you and running with it because it's what you know is not a choice. Address that point. Bet you won't!

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#81127
Feb 25, 2013
 

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You can troll me anytime baby!
Mimi Seattle wrote:
<quoted text>
I know. I read it. It's Monday. I'm bored. Trolling...

“suffers from formicophilia ”

Since: May 09

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#81128
Feb 25, 2013
 

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Sam I Am GEAM wrote:
I don't have anything against people of faith, provided they have made a choice and have not simply accepted whatever was handed down to them. Taking whatever your parents handed you and running with it because it's what you know is not a choice. Address that point. Bet you won't!
I disagree. You're painting people with a broad brush. People don't simply hold to a religion simply because of what their parents were. Many people change their religion, many people find religion if they were not brought up that way, and many people turn to atheism after having grown up in a religious home. To assume that people of faith are incapable of independent though, is religion bashing.

“FD&S is no way to be.”

Since: Feb 13

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#81129
Feb 25, 2013
 

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RACE wrote:
To answer your questions,
I think you are wrong to say that people adopt the religion presented. That is the purpose of confirmation, the person CHOOSES to become a member of that religion. How many other religions they have experienced is not relevant, they are choosing and that disputes your statement.
Adopt/choose?? What difference does it make? Why do you hate people who adopt the same religion that their parents have? What is wrong with them?
Why do you place such criteria on whether or you you will respect a person or their faith.
Answer that!
<quoted text>
Wrongo bongo. Confirmation has nothing to do with choosing. Confirmation is simply part of the process that is part of the religion you adopted. I went through it. So did many of my friends. And we didn't choose to go through it. We went through it because it was what was expected of us. And please don't insult my intelligence or yours by trying to assert that that's the exception.

As I said before, and I'll say again, if people are religious, fine, have at it, but my criticism comes in when they are of a certain faith just because of tradition and not because of any critical thinking, including the consideration of other faiths. There are a number of major religions with key differences. I do count it as a knock against someone if they put more thought into which car to buy than into which religion to practice.

I do also count it as a knock against someone if they use religion to justify bad behavior, as many do with homosexuality. The Christian Bible is routinely cited as a justification for homophobic behavior/views. Some who promote their faith the most vigorously are those who act most inconsistently with that faith. Look at Mutt. He is a professed Christian, but do you think Jesus would look kindly upon Mutt calling women "whores" and "bitches" and some of the other vitriolic things he has said? Does your God tell you that wishing cancer and car accidents on someone is consistent with his teachings? If so, I would like to see your copy of the Bible.

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