I had friends who went home once a month, esp during their freshmen year. That is a hard transition and even harder if you are made to feel like you don't have a home anymore (or not welcome home) because you attend college for 9 months out of the year. Pushing her away will drive her closer to her fiance.Totally not trying to steer the conversation away from religion but...quick poll:
Those of you that went away to college and stayed in a dorm, how often did you come home?
J and I had a blowout last night after SIL and her fiance left--SIL has been home at least once a month since she left for school. Since November, she's had her fiance with her every time, which means there's somebody sleeping in my living room every morning. I'm tired of houseguests. J doesn't see how it's an inconvenience. They come home Friday evening--about an hour after I get home from work and leave right as I'm about to go to bed Sunday night. That's my entire weekend.
Blowup occurred after SIL saw an invite we got for a first birthday party for a friend's kid in three weeks. SIL's all "Oh, I'll have to come back for that!" J's all "Yeah!"
Granted, they go out and do stuff when they're here, and I have my own social life, but fuuuuuuck. I don't want this go on for the next 3.5 years. I'm TIRED, y'all. Am I being unreasonable?
Maybe it would help if you and J sit down with her (and fiance if he is always there) and talk to them about why college is important. You learn as much, if not more, outside the classroom as you do inside and this is the time to investigate clubs and activities that they will not have this access to once they leave campus.
Also, you can let her know that she is always welcome in your/her house, but you will not be changing any plans to accommodate her and her guest. Emphasize that fiance is a guest, which means that sometimes you would like to see her without him (not that you disapprove, but she is still her own person not simply half of a couple).