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Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

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#79684
Feb 5, 2013
 

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Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>
Following the results, the children cut off all contact with him. He claims his ex-wife turned them against him.
‘I treated them both as if they were my own. I was there at their births, went to their Nativity plays and helped them with school homework.
‘I can’t stop thinking about the children as they were my life.
‘The children were the most important people in my life, and now they have gone.
This does not sound like the words of someone who detached quickly. He says he does not have kids anymore because they have disowned him. Its the truth. Something he feels the mother caused. It could be argued that he caused it with the testing, but I don't buy for a second that the mother did not influence the children living under her roof. Cheated on him while married. Duped him into raising the children of 2 other me. Showed no remorse when confronted with the truth. So you have a pissed off decietful ex who now has to move out of their marital home and sell it to split the proceeds. She gets no more "maintenance". You bet your ass she bad moutheed him to the kids and killed the relationship.
She probably did -- most likely. I personally have no doubt. BUT, I think once he wanted proof that those were his children, that's when the kids dumped him.

Kids need unconditional love and once he questioned whether he was their father, I'm sure those kids took it as he wanted NOT to be the father. That's probably how it felt to them.

Not saying that was the reality, I'm saying that's how those kids probably felt.

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

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#79685
Feb 5, 2013
 
Jess in NJ wrote:
<quoted text>
"[A]s if they were my own"?! F that. They are his (at least that would be a real Father's mindset). A real Father never stops fighting for his kids.
This douche wants people to feel sorry for him, but I think that he and the ex deserved each other. I feel bad for the kids (no matter how old they are now).
Jess, I agree. 100%.

Since: Jan 10

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#79686
Feb 5, 2013
 
I'd be suspicious that Nick's youngest isn't his (because the wife was cheating throughout the marriage, including while pregnant), but the kid looks just like Nick's brother (and no, brother didn't sleep with the woman).

“bELieve”

Since: Jun 09

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#79687
Feb 5, 2013
 

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edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>People have a right to know the truth. You're blaming him for the actions of his wife.
Nope. Biology does not make a parent.

“Licensed to Ill”

Since: Aug 08

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#79688
Feb 5, 2013
 
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>Article says that happened in 2004. And they got divorced in 2004. Does not seem to me like he put up with it. Maybe he did not handle it the exact same way you would have, but it certainly does not scream doormat. He took care of the problem.
Screams doormat to me. This happened multiple times? As I said it would happen one time to me. There wouldn’t even be the possibility for it to happen a second time. We can be pretty darn sure that her disappearing was the culmination of a lot of blatantly disrespectful behavior. It would have never even gotten to the point where a woman could do that to me. She'd have been looooong gone. A woman should add to your life, not subtract from it.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

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#79689
Feb 5, 2013
 

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Jess in NJ wrote:
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Nope. Biology does not make a parent.
??? So a man has no right to know if he actually fathered the children he raised? Lets back up to 1992. If he had suspicions before the child was born, would you have a problem with him getting a DNA test? Or would you at that point say, "if he does not trust his wife they should not be together"? The idea that he is an ass for wanting to know the truth is absurd. If, after finding out the truth, he disowned the kids, then yes, I'd agree, he's an ass. But that's not how this story played out. For some reason, you feel he has no right to ask the question.

“Licensed to Ill”

Since: Aug 08

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#79690
Feb 5, 2013
 

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Jess in NJ wrote:
<quoted text>
"[A]s if they were my own"?! F that. They are his (at least that would be a real Father's mindset). A real Father never stops fighting for his kids.
This douche wants people to feel sorry for him, but I think that he and the ex deserved each other. I feel bad for the kids (no matter how old they are now).
He has a right to know. I would want to know. Not that it would change the way I felt about my kids, but I would want to know. It sounds like his kids cut him off, not the other way around. Also his kids are grown adults, not little kids. He can't force himself on them. They are probably so warped too, after living with that woman for so long.

Since: Feb 08

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#79691
Feb 5, 2013
 
Jess in NJ wrote:
<quoted text>
"[A]s if they were my own"?! F that. They are his (at least that would be a real Father's mindset). A real Father never stops fighting for his kids.
This douche wants people to feel sorry for him, but I think that he and the ex deserved each other. I feel bad for the kids (no matter how old they are now).
Many times people have said something along the lines of "Well, it's not like they're your kids" to Bear.
The sort of things he says back to them beyond "YES THEY ARE!" would bring down the wrath of the censor-bots, so I'll leave it at that.

Since: Feb 08

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#79692
Feb 5, 2013
 

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Jess in NJ wrote:
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Nope. Biology does not make a parent.
This. Neither does a legal document. It is love and care that make a parent.

I do feel badly for those, their mom is obviously not much of a mother, and now they have no dad, either.
Sam I Am

Huntingdon, TN

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#79693
Feb 5, 2013
 

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edogxxx wrote:
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Or maybe you don't have one? Your simple mind just spews venom when you have nothing intelligible to say.
"3- Yeah, that's what all these other man-hating feminazi bulldykes on here were saying. "

You mean like that?
Sam I Am

Huntingdon, TN

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#79694
Feb 5, 2013
 
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
Good morning! Today is my 45th birthday! I'm wearing super cute new black shoes, a cute new top, a new leather jacket (Dress Barn for the win!), and my five boxes of thin mints (Girl Scouts!) just got delivered to my desk.
LIfe is good.
Carry on.
Happy birthday, cutie! I hope your man has something nice planned for you!
PEllen

Chicago, IL

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#79695
Feb 5, 2013
 
Happy BD , A. You haven't been around long enough to be 45.

“bELieve”

Since: Jun 09

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#79696
Feb 5, 2013
 

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Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>??? So a man has no right to know if he actually fathered the children he raised? Lets back up to 1992. If he had suspicions before the child was born, would you have a problem with him getting a DNA test? Or would you at that point say, "if he does not trust his wife they should not be together"? The idea that he is an ass for wanting to know the truth is absurd. If, after finding out the truth, he disowned the kids, then yes, I'd agree, he's an ass. But that's not how this story played out. For some reason, you feel he has no right to ask the question.
Of course he has a right to question. The part that I disagree with is his decision to say that they are no longer his kids (saying "as if they were my own" means that he does not consider them his) and to sue his ex. Sure he should be upset with her, but if he raised those kids then they are still his.

I am all for openness and communication. I think the ex was 100% in the wrong and and what she did was one of the worst abuses of trust that I can think of. But when you become a parent, you think of your children first. You don't say sh1t like you have lost your chance to have children and grandchildren to a newspaper when you raised 2 children. Even if they are not talking to you right now, you just lost any chance you have with them and future grandchildren because you are holding biology against them.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

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#79698
Feb 5, 2013
 

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Jess in NJ wrote:
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Nope. Biology does not make a parent.
No sht, Shirlock, otherwise we wouldn't have adoption. But a kid has the right to know who his father is, and a father has a right to know if a kid is his or not.

You blaming this on the man is like blaming a r@pe on a woman because of the clothes she was wearing.

Screw the kids, too. They're the ones that wanted nothing to do with him. The man IS a victim. I feel sorry for him and am glad he won the lawsuit.

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Tacoma, WA

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#79699
Feb 5, 2013
 
Happy Birthday Angela!!!

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Tacoma, WA

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#79700
Feb 5, 2013
 

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NWmoon wrote:
<quoted text>This. Neither does a legal document. It is love and care that make a parent.
ITA

I am very close to someone who got pregnant by a forcible rape. I know 100% that she was not screwing around on her husband. Husband knew the truth. THEY decided to keep the kid and never told ANYONE what happened, even though the kid was mixed race and the parents were the same race.

The kid knew (when age appropriate) that his dad and the sperm provider were two different people, but never knew about the rape. His parents wanted it that way. Naturally other people figured the mom was screwing around but the mom and dad didn't care what other people thought.

They cared about the baby. Period. His dad was his *real dad.* Full stop. Biology does NOT make a parent.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

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#79701
Feb 5, 2013
 

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Jess in NJ wrote:
Of course he has a right to question. The part that I disagree with is his decision to say that they are no longer his kids (saying "as if they were my own" means that he does not consider them his)
My take is that he said that after they cut him out. I don't fault him at all.

"The DNA test was done by mouth swab and when the result came back Mr Rodwell was stunned. He said:‘When I saw the letter stating that I wasn’t Laura’s father I just broke down.
‘When I phoned Helen we had an argument and she just said,“What did you expect.” She didn’t even say sorry.’
Mr Rodwell didn’t tell Laura but he described in court documents how her attitude changed towards him. He said:‘She didn’t come to see me and if I saw her in the street she would make obscene gestures with her fingers and on one occasion even kicked my car.’"

So he had the test done, found the truth, but DID NOT tell his daughter. We are back to poison mom.

And you have a problem with him suing his ex? Are you kidding me? So she should have no repercussions for the fraud she committed? Really?
Jess in NJ wrote:
Sure he should be upset with her, but if he raised those kids then they are still his.
He did not tell them they were not his. He did not end the relationship. That was his ex's doing. They no longer consider him their father. I find it outrageous that you are trying to put this on him.
Jess in NJ wrote:
You don't say sh1t like you have lost your chance to have children and grandchildren to a newspaper when you raised 2 children. Even if they are not talking to you right now, you just lost any chance you have with them and future grandchildren because you are holding biology against them.
Is he holding biology against them, or is he being realistic that they are estranged from him and therefore he has no chance of ever being a grandparent to their children?

Since: Jan 10

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#79702
Feb 5, 2013
 

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Sublime1 wrote:
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He has a right to know. I would want to know. Not that it would change the way I felt about my kids, but I would want to know. It sounds like his kids cut him off, not the other way around. Also his kids are grown adults, not little kids. He can't force himself on them. They are probably so warped too, after living with that woman for so long.
Yeah, mom's an evil CU Next tuesday.
Who knows

Des Plaines, IL

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#79703
Feb 5, 2013
 
A little birdie told me that RedheadwGlasses has a birthday today.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

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#79704
Feb 5, 2013
 

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Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text> My take is that he said that after they cut him out. I don't fault him at all.
"The DNA test was done by mouth swab and when the result came back Mr Rodwell was stunned. He said:‘When I saw the letter stating that I wasn’t Laura’s father I just broke down.
‘When I phoned Helen we had an argument and she just said,“What did you expect.” She didn’t even say sorry.’
Mr Rodwell didn’t tell Laura but he described in court documents how her attitude changed towards him. He said:‘She didn’t come to see me and if I saw her in the street she would make obscene gestures with her fingers and on one occasion even kicked my car.’"
So he had the test done, found the truth, but DID NOT tell his daughter. We are back to poison mom.
And you have a problem with him suing his ex? Are you kidding me? So she should have no repercussions for the fraud she committed? Really?
<quoted text>
He did not tell them they were not his. He did not end the relationship. That was his ex's doing. They no longer consider him their father. I find it outrageous that you are trying to put this on him.
<quoted text> Is he holding biology against them, or is he being realistic that they are estranged from him and therefore he has no chance of ever being a grandparent to their children?
Oh, the mom is garbage. Don't get me wrong. And the man probably thought he did everything he could but he didn't. If someone tried to take his "real" kids away, would he just say "Oh, well I don't have any kids". That's where my thoughts are.

You don't stop trying. You don't say EVER that you don't have any children because he does. They would have come around. Those kids were going through, probably, hell and then some. Especially with a mother like that.

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