Topix Chitown Regulars

“bELieve”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#79680 Feb 5, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>Unless I misread the article, I thought it was the kids who wanted nothing to do with *him*? That's why he feels abandoned and wanted his child support back? In which case I would agree with him. And Mattie has a good point, unlike you btches, men can have kids up untill the day they die (ha ha!)

And happy bday angela. It's my friend's birthday too.
If my father was questioning whether he was really my "father" I would tell him to shove it, too. He needs to grow up.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#79681 Feb 5, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
His ex-wife is no prize. I think she should get in trouble for fraud, personally. I wouldn't put it that "women are so deceitful" as much some people can be deceitful.

Here's my problem, though. I understand the man wanting to know but I wonder if there wasn't a better way to do it. In such a public way his kids found out, too. I doubt those kids knew. The only father they probably knew was him and for all intent and purposes he was their father.

Sad all around.

“bELieve”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#79682 Feb 5, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>Following the results, the children cut off all contact with him. He claims his ex-wife turned them against him.

‘I treated them both as if they were my own. I was there at their births, went to their Nativity plays and helped them with school homework.
‘I can’t stop thinking about the children as they were my life.
‘The children were the most important people in my life, and now they have gone.

.
"[A]s if they were my own"?! F that. They are his (at least that would be a real Father's mindset). A real Father never stops fighting for his kids.

This douche wants people to feel sorry for him, but I think that he and the ex deserved each other. I feel bad for the kids (no matter how old they are now).

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

United States

#79683 Feb 5, 2013
Jess in NJ wrote:
<quoted text>
If my father was questioning whether he was really my "father" I would tell him to shove it, too. He needs to grow up.
People have a right to know the truth. You're blaming him for the actions of his wife.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#79684 Feb 5, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>
Following the results, the children cut off all contact with him. He claims his ex-wife turned them against him.
I treated them both as if they were my own. I was there at their births, went to their Nativity plays and helped them with school homework.
I cant stop thinking about the children as they were my life.
The children were the most important people in my life, and now they have gone.
This does not sound like the words of someone who detached quickly. He says he does not have kids anymore because they have disowned him. Its the truth. Something he feels the mother caused. It could be argued that he caused it with the testing, but I don't buy for a second that the mother did not influence the children living under her roof. Cheated on him while married. Duped him into raising the children of 2 other me. Showed no remorse when confronted with the truth. So you have a pissed off decietful ex who now has to move out of their marital home and sell it to split the proceeds. She gets no more "maintenance". You bet your ass she bad moutheed him to the kids and killed the relationship.
She probably did -- most likely. I personally have no doubt. BUT, I think once he wanted proof that those were his children, that's when the kids dumped him.

Kids need unconditional love and once he questioned whether he was their father, I'm sure those kids took it as he wanted NOT to be the father. That's probably how it felt to them.

Not saying that was the reality, I'm saying that's how those kids probably felt.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#79685 Feb 5, 2013
Jess in NJ wrote:
<quoted text>
"[A]s if they were my own"?! F that. They are his (at least that would be a real Father's mindset). A real Father never stops fighting for his kids.
This douche wants people to feel sorry for him, but I think that he and the ex deserved each other. I feel bad for the kids (no matter how old they are now).
Jess, I agree. 100%.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#79686 Feb 5, 2013
I'd be suspicious that Nick's youngest isn't his (because the wife was cheating throughout the marriage, including while pregnant), but the kid looks just like Nick's brother (and no, brother didn't sleep with the woman).

“bELieve”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#79687 Feb 5, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>People have a right to know the truth. You're blaming him for the actions of his wife.
Nope. Biology does not make a parent.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#79688 Feb 5, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>Article says that happened in 2004. And they got divorced in 2004. Does not seem to me like he put up with it. Maybe he did not handle it the exact same way you would have, but it certainly does not scream doormat. He took care of the problem.
Screams doormat to me. This happened multiple times? As I said it would happen one time to me. There wouldnt even be the possibility for it to happen a second time. We can be pretty darn sure that her disappearing was the culmination of a lot of blatantly disrespectful behavior. It would have never even gotten to the point where a woman could do that to me. She'd have been looooong gone. A woman should add to your life, not subtract from it.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#79689 Feb 5, 2013
Jess in NJ wrote:
<quoted text>
Nope. Biology does not make a parent.
??? So a man has no right to know if he actually fathered the children he raised? Lets back up to 1992. If he had suspicions before the child was born, would you have a problem with him getting a DNA test? Or would you at that point say, "if he does not trust his wife they should not be together"? The idea that he is an ass for wanting to know the truth is absurd. If, after finding out the truth, he disowned the kids, then yes, I'd agree, he's an ass. But that's not how this story played out. For some reason, you feel he has no right to ask the question.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#79690 Feb 5, 2013
Jess in NJ wrote:
<quoted text>
"[A]s if they were my own"?! F that. They are his (at least that would be a real Father's mindset). A real Father never stops fighting for his kids.
This douche wants people to feel sorry for him, but I think that he and the ex deserved each other. I feel bad for the kids (no matter how old they are now).
He has a right to know. I would want to know. Not that it would change the way I felt about my kids, but I would want to know. It sounds like his kids cut him off, not the other way around. Also his kids are grown adults, not little kids. He can't force himself on them. They are probably so warped too, after living with that woman for so long.

Since: Feb 08

Location hidden

#79691 Feb 5, 2013
Jess in NJ wrote:
<quoted text>
"[A]s if they were my own"?! F that. They are his (at least that would be a real Father's mindset). A real Father never stops fighting for his kids.
This douche wants people to feel sorry for him, but I think that he and the ex deserved each other. I feel bad for the kids (no matter how old they are now).
Many times people have said something along the lines of "Well, it's not like they're your kids" to Bear.
The sort of things he says back to them beyond "YES THEY ARE!" would bring down the wrath of the censor-bots, so I'll leave it at that.

Since: Feb 08

Location hidden

#79692 Feb 5, 2013
Jess in NJ wrote:
<quoted text>
Nope. Biology does not make a parent.
This. Neither does a legal document. It is love and care that make a parent.

I do feel badly for those, their mom is obviously not much of a mother, and now they have no dad, either.
Sam I Am

Cedar Grove, TN

#79693 Feb 5, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Or maybe you don't have one? Your simple mind just spews venom when you have nothing intelligible to say.
"3- Yeah, that's what all these other man-hating feminazi bulldykes on here were saying. "

You mean like that?
Sam I Am

Cedar Grove, TN

#79694 Feb 5, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
Good morning! Today is my 45th birthday! I'm wearing super cute new black shoes, a cute new top, a new leather jacket (Dress Barn for the win!), and my five boxes of thin mints (Girl Scouts!) just got delivered to my desk.
LIfe is good.
Carry on.
Happy birthday, cutie! I hope your man has something nice planned for you!
PEllen

Chicago, IL

#79695 Feb 5, 2013
Happy BD , A. You haven't been around long enough to be 45.

“bELieve”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#79696 Feb 5, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>??? So a man has no right to know if he actually fathered the children he raised? Lets back up to 1992. If he had suspicions before the child was born, would you have a problem with him getting a DNA test? Or would you at that point say, "if he does not trust his wife they should not be together"? The idea that he is an ass for wanting to know the truth is absurd. If, after finding out the truth, he disowned the kids, then yes, I'd agree, he's an ass. But that's not how this story played out. For some reason, you feel he has no right to ask the question.
Of course he has a right to question. The part that I disagree with is his decision to say that they are no longer his kids (saying "as if they were my own" means that he does not consider them his) and to sue his ex. Sure he should be upset with her, but if he raised those kids then they are still his.

I am all for openness and communication. I think the ex was 100% in the wrong and and what she did was one of the worst abuses of trust that I can think of. But when you become a parent, you think of your children first. You don't say sh1t like you have lost your chance to have children and grandchildren to a newspaper when you raised 2 children. Even if they are not talking to you right now, you just lost any chance you have with them and future grandchildren because you are holding biology against them.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

United States

#79698 Feb 5, 2013
Jess in NJ wrote:
<quoted text>
Nope. Biology does not make a parent.
No sht, Shirlock, otherwise we wouldn't have adoption. But a kid has the right to know who his father is, and a father has a right to know if a kid is his or not.

You blaming this on the man is like blaming a r@pe on a woman because of the clothes she was wearing.

Screw the kids, too. They're the ones that wanted nothing to do with him. The man IS a victim. I feel sorry for him and am glad he won the lawsuit.

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#79699 Feb 5, 2013
Happy Birthday Angela!!!

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#79700 Feb 5, 2013
NWmoon wrote:
<quoted text>This. Neither does a legal document. It is love and care that make a parent.
ITA

I am very close to someone who got pregnant by a forcible rape. I know 100% that she was not screwing around on her husband. Husband knew the truth. THEY decided to keep the kid and never told ANYONE what happened, even though the kid was mixed race and the parents were the same race.

The kid knew (when age appropriate) that his dad and the sperm provider were two different people, but never knew about the rape. His parents wanted it that way. Naturally other people figured the mom was screwing around but the mom and dad didn't care what other people thought.

They cared about the baby. Period. His dad was his *real dad.* Full stop. Biology does NOT make a parent.

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