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“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

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#79060
Jan 24, 2013
 
Jess in NJ wrote:
<quoted text>
Do you have a good relationship with your pediatrician?
See answer to PE.
Jess in NJ wrote:
The only thing that has worked with Ry is a combination of goal setting with an agreed upon punishment if the goal is not met. He was having a period at school where he was getting in trouble every day. He and my husband sat down and came up with the plan together. If he had three weeks without getting in yellow at school (they start in green and move into yellow, orange, red, then blue with each infraction at school) then he would get a prize - a big prize.
We have the same color system, they start in green, then go to yellow, orange, or red. Blue is in the opposite direction. Blue is an outstandingly good day. And we set up the same type of punishments and expectations. get yellow, orange or red and there is a predetermined puishment, mainly loss of privileges. Get enough greens in a row, you get a big reward. He got the big reward once. But for the most part, he seems content with the predetermined punishments. Like he'll tell me, "I know I can't watch tv".

The cleaning the yard and writing sentences are the first foray in punishments that were intended to be unpleasant. Taking away privileges just left him open to finding something else that he was still allowed to do, so it was almost like, eh, whatever. I can go a day or so without xyz. I'll just entertain myelf doing abc.

Jess in NJ wrote:
We told his teacher about it so she could remind him of his promise when she saw that he was starting to get antsy.
I like this.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

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#79061
Jan 24, 2013
 
Sublime1 wrote:
When they see they are missing out on stuff their siblings get to do, they don't like that. Maybe play that angle too.
No doubt. Last night, though there was no meltdown, I had him writing sentences in his room. And of course I have to be there the entire to to make sure he's keeping at it. So I was on his be with his brother reading a book(or more accurately, having the tablet read him a book while he swiped the sreen to turn the pages, how do you like them apples, Race) and he was mad because he was writing while I did funs stuff with his brother. Just kept telling him that he could be doing funs stuff to if he finshed his sentences instead of procrastinating.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

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#79062
Jan 24, 2013
 

“bELieve”

Since: Jun 09

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#79063
Jan 24, 2013
 
Mister Tonka wrote:
But for the most part, he seems content with the predetermined punishments. Like he'll tell me, "I know I can't watch tv".

.
This made me laugh because it sounds like Ry. When I tell him that he can't watch TV for 2 days he'll respond with "Did you say 3 days?" That's why I usually don't come up with punishments on my own - I get his input.

Also, my husband taught him chess and battleship - board games. He knows that if he is good for a couple days in a row, then his father will play a game with him while I occupy E. He loves earning privileges that make him feel like a big boy.

Hang in there.

Since: Mar 09

West Palm Beach, FL

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#79064
Jan 24, 2013
 
I agree with ang on points 1 &2.

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Tacoma, WA

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#79065
Jan 24, 2013
 
Mister Tonka wrote:
SUBLIME LENGTH POST FOLLOWS
==========
Thoughts? Suggestions? The floor is open.
When Chris was about that age (a little younger I think, but not much) we discovered that he was allergic to EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD and allergies can manifest that way...behavior problems, lack of attention, tantrums. I didn't know it, or believe it when someone told me about it, but sure enough, once he got tested and started an antihistamine regime (I chose not to go with the 2+ years of shots) he became my normal little kid again.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

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#79066
Jan 25, 2013
 

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

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#79067
Jan 25, 2013
 

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Mister Tonka wrote:
We have tried a number of things to attempt to modify his behavior.
-take things away when he misbehaves at school....
-The other day, I tried a new one. Put him to work...
-I tried the shame/disappointment/pointless card...
Thoughts? Suggestions? The floor is open.
Have you tried the belt?

“Not a real reg”

Since: Jan 13

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#79069
Jan 25, 2013
 
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Have you tried the belt?
That worked for me. I'm perfect.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#79070
Jan 25, 2013
 
It seems to me that 6 is pretty young to be the subject of daily evaluations.

What are his crimes?

I dont remember being so, but I have been told that if ridilin was around when I was a kid, I would have had an IV in my arm all day.

I think that unless he is disrupting the entire class( as opposed to insisting to color outside the lines) then just stick his desk in the hallway (I remember that lots) for an hour.

Please settle up with the secretary on your way out.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#79071
Jan 25, 2013
 

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I dont know if it actually "Worked", I remember getting the belt, but not the crime that I did to warrant it.
dahgts wrote:
<quoted text>
That worke
d for me. I'm perfect.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

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#79072
Jan 25, 2013
 
RACE wrote:
It seems to me that 6 is pretty young to be the subject of daily evaluations.
What are his crimes?
Its not so much an evaluation, but a progression. They start each day on green. And, as the day progresses, if they behave poorly, their color moves to yellow. As the bad behavior continues, the color ranking drops.

Since: Jan 10

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#79073
Jan 25, 2013
 
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text> what's the address?
I'm checking with that aforum to see how they want to do it. I suspect they'll want you to post your stuff in the previous day's column (we try to avoid letting the day's column go OT until the next column is up -- OT posts also are much less likely to get pulled if we do that)(we have short OT threads frequently, and it's rare to get anything pulled, but even then, the only thing that gets puled is the initial post, not the responses.

So when I figure this out (soon/today), I'll post more here.

You know, I was thinking that some sort of autism spectrum issue could probably be ruled out, because his over the top tantrums are so specific to certain issues, and I think if he had some degree of autism,(1) you would have known by now and (2) he'd have these sorts of tantrums more often, or about more mundane things.

Since: Jan 10

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#79074
Jan 25, 2013
 
Mister Tonka wrote:
WOw, shE'S GORGEOUS.

Since: Mar 09

United States

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#79075
Jan 25, 2013
 
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>Its not so much an evaluation, but a progression. They start each day on green. And, as the day progresses, if they behave poorly, their color moves to yellow. As the bad behavior continues, the color ranking drops.
I hear this from all my friends with kids. They start at green and it's on them to keep it that way.

“Licensed to Ill”

Since: Aug 08

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#79076
Jan 25, 2013
 
Mister Tonka wrote:
\

I'd tap that!

“bELieve”

Since: Jun 09

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#79077
Jan 25, 2013
 

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j_m_w wrote:
<quoted text>I hear this from all my friends with kids. They start at green and it's on them to keep it that way.
I don't always agree with some of the things that cause the teacher to move the kids out of green. Ry was moved into yellow last week because he had two chair legs off the floor. Seriously, that's a moveable offense?

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

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#79078
Jan 25, 2013
 
Mister Tonka wrote:
SUBLIME LENGTH POST FOLLOWS
==========
OK, imaginary peeps. I don't usually come here seeking answers, but instead to be entertained and to share my brilliance with the rest of you. But seeing as how I went to the well today with the debt collector question, I figured I might as well go back to the well and solicit opinions, analysis, and advice from the arm chair child psychologists.
It could be a subject he isn't doing well at school that is affecting him. He could be getting teased at school and his behavior is showing the affects. It could be you and your wife have been more busier than usual (it seems you are really good parents but everyone has periods of super busy). Is anyone in the family ill?

If this is a new behavior -- at 6 they have soooooooooo much (for a kid) that is new.

I'd try sports. If he likes a sport that will keep him busy AND there are rules in sports AND if you misbehave then you can't play in the game (but never take practice away).

I dunno. I'd try sports. With boys that can cure a whole host of things (as long as the coach is good and it's something they like). I'd do soccer -- there is indoor soccer clubs and outdoor soccer clubs. But there's also hockey. Baseball usually doesn't have a long season, but you can mix baseball, basketball, etc.

Don't over-think so much. You won't know what the problem is unless he tells you and some kids don't even understand what the problem is themselves. So keep him busy for him to get on the right path.

Hope this helps.

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

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#79079
Jan 25, 2013
 
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>Its not so much an evaluation, but a progression. They start each day on green. And, as the day progresses, if they behave poorly, their color moves to yellow. As the bad behavior continues, the color ranking drops.
Tonka -- it might be the teacher, too. Your kid might be talkative and energetic and the teacher doesn't know how to calm the kids down except to give them a color. Boys are difficult to contain in school until they're about the 5th grade. They get better then. Their brains are not real good at self control and as long as he's not doing horrible, I wouldn't worry but yet still continue with your rules. Don't expect him NOT to get into small trouble. He's a boy. He has to learn, you're showing him the way.

:) Tire him out with sports. Man -- I'm a broken record!!!

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

United States

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#79080
Jan 25, 2013
 
ABC reports only 30 Burmese pythons have been killed so far in the "python hunt" in the everglades. There are two weeks left.

GO PYTHONS!

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