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“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

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#79038
Jan 24, 2013
 
Mister Tonka wrote:
Question for the in house legal team[Sublime].
I just recieved a voice mail from a collection agency. The woman did not ask for me by name, but made it seem like it was a very importan matter and I needed to get back with her ASAP adding that this was an attempt to collect a debt.
To my knowledge, I have no outstanding debts. I looked up the name of the company online and as one would expect, I saw a few stories of rude and heavy handed tactics and threats as well as one person who said they were looking for someone else and accused him of lying about who he was. They ended the call demanding that the dude inform whoever they were looking for to call them, still acting like he was lying about them having the wrong guy.
From a legal standpoint, do I have any reason to even inquire as to what this is about or if they are even calling for me? Or can I safely ignore this and wait for notification in writing if there is indeed some legitimate debt they are trying to collect from me?
Here is my 2 cents worth.

Google Federal Debt Collection Act and see if there is a Q&A section about abusive collection practices. Also check with the FL attorney general, probably at the state level, but maybe at the county level to see if there is a consumer protection Q&A on line or hotline

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

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#79039
Jan 24, 2013
 
Sublime1 wrote:
WEll, after reading the experience of you guys and gals, maybe they left me alone because I told them I was a lawyer. It never impressed me, but it seems to impress some folks.
Yeah but I could look you up on a database to check that out and so could a collection agency.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

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#79040
Jan 24, 2013
 
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
Sub: I know lawyers who insist they get better/faster care in the ER when they mention they're a lawyer (when they have perceived that the staff isn't really aware of how serious the injury/illness is).
Tonka: I look forward to how this plays out.:)
Right now, I'm just going to ignore it. My voice mail greeting does not give my name. The message left on my VM does not say who they are calling for. So I am going to ignore.

“Licensed to Ill”

Since: Aug 08

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#79042
Jan 24, 2013
 
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
Sub: I know lawyers who insist they get better/faster care in the ER when they mention they're a lawyer (when they have perceived that the staff isn't really aware of how serious the injury/illness is).
I would have to be really, really, really, really, really mad before I threw that out. That is not something I throw out or share with folks, unless they are friends. I wouldn't want to be put in front of someone who got there before me or who had a more serious injury, just because I'm brandishing that I'm a lawyer, either. Doesn't seem right to me.

People treat you differently, usually for the better, but I prefer to be treated just like everyone else. I honestly wasnít expecting that when I went and came out of school. Iíve had friends introduce me to friends and girlfriends and girls out at clubs/bars and say heís a lawyer. I donít care for that. It happens all the time.

“Licensed to Ill”

Since: Aug 08

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#79043
Jan 24, 2013
 
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>Yeah but I could look you up on a database to check that out and so could a collection agency.
Yes, but I doubt the person had done so. I was fresh out of school. I told him so that he would believe I wasn't the person he was looking for ... not to throw my weight around. I don't like to do that.

“Licensed to Ill”

Since: Aug 08

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#79044
Jan 24, 2013
 
When I received my last traffic ticket and went to court, the assistant DA and bailiff were lecturing me for not speaking up at the outset and telling them I'm an attorney.

Instead of telling them I'm an attorney and moving to the front of the line, I waited with everyone else, and after like an hour and a half, when they finally called name was called, instead of being meek and intimidated like everyone else, I was arguing with the assistant DA and telling her, no, I don't want to plead this, that, or this ... I don't want to take another day off of work to come in and argue with you in front of a judge about what happened and what the police man told me, verses what the ticket actually says ... I'm telling you this is what happened.

After she and the bailiff lectured me in private and told me I need to act like I'm somebody (really, I don't like that attitude ... like I'm supposed to walk into court like I'm Mr. Big Shot), she agreed to drop the charges, shook my hand, and gave me her number to call before going into court if I had any other problems.

So now, when I'm out with Bambi and I'm speeding and she gives me grief, I say, pffft, I'm telflon ... I'll just call "judy" if I get a ticket, lol! Totally teasing ... "Judy" did not imply that she would drop any charges I ever receive. That would be unethical. It's pretty funny, tho. Bambi can't say shyte!

Since: Mar 09

United States

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#79045
Jan 24, 2013
 
Just got a text from A saying "I don't think I want to be with [boyfriend] anymore." I'm anxiously awaiting further details.

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Tacoma, WA

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#79046
Jan 24, 2013
 
j_m_w wrote:
Just got a text from A saying "I don't think I want to be with [boyfriend] anymore." I'm anxiously awaiting further details.
Wait...I thought they'd broken up again. Are they back together? Oh hell I miss so much stuff...

“bELieve”

Since: Jun 09

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#79047
Jan 24, 2013
 
j_m_w wrote:
Just got a text from A saying "I don't think I want to be with [boyfriend] anymore." I'm anxiously awaiting further details.
I hope she has the strength to follow through with that.

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

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#79048
Jan 24, 2013
 
Mister Tonka wrote:
When I was pondering whether or not to call them back, an idea popped into my head. I have heard that call centers do not like being recorded and I have read that they often times will end the call if they find out they are being recorded, so I was going to use my phone's voice recorder and let them know at the start of the call that it may be recorded for quality assurance.
:)
Oh I love this.

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

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#79049
Jan 24, 2013
 
j_m_w wrote:
Just got a text from A saying "I don't think I want to be with [boyfriend] anymore." I'm anxiously awaiting further details.
Well, she's starting to wake up. Great!

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#79050
Jan 24, 2013
 

Judged:

1

he-he,
You told her about me didn't ya!
j_m_w wrote:
Just got a text from A saying "I don't think I want to be with [boyfriend] anymore." I'm anxiously awaiting further details.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

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#79052
Jan 24, 2013
 
SUBLIME LENGTH POST FOLLOWS
==========

OK, imaginary peeps. I don't usually come here seeking answers, but instead to be entertained and to share my brilliance with the rest of you. But seeing as how I went to the well today with the debt collector question, I figured I might as well go back to the well and solicit opinions, analysis, and advice from the arm chair child psychologists.

We have been having a behavior problem with my 6 year old. Nothing terrible as far as the things he is doing, but just constantly finding the wrong thing to do(ie: the problem is with the consistent misbehavior not so much the actual acts themselves.) Both at home and in school.

Our school sends home a daily behavior score of sorts. For this entire month, there has had only 3 good days(all in a row). But every day he comes home with varying levels of misbehavior.

We have tried a number of things to attempt to modify his behavior.
-take things away when he misbehaves at school. What it is depends on how poor his behavior was. Ranges from no snack when he gets home to no tv/video games. That did not consistently work.

-A friend who works as some sort of school counselor suggested that instead of punishment, we go with reward and praise for good behavior. Has not worked.

-The other day, I tried a new one. Put him to work. Our trash men suck and anything that falls out of the can, is fre to blow around the neighborhood. So I gave him some gloves and had him go around our yard and 4 adjacent neighbors picking up trash. He thought it was fun. The next day he came home with a poor report again, and was looking forward to that same "punishment". Not really a deterrent to bad behavior if you look forward to it.

-I tried the shame/disappointment/pointless card. On the way to school, one day, I pretty much told him I was not even going to bother encouraging him to behave cause I knew he could not do it. Strangely, that worked. That was the first day of the 3 day stand of good behavior . Even came home bragging to mom that dad didn't think he could do it. Of course I don't want to use that as a normal way to motivate him, but at that point, I was pretty frustrated and figured it was worth a try once. Haven't played that card since then and have had nothing but bad days at school.

Which brings me to something we've done twice to strange results. Sentences. Bart Simpson style writing something over and over. "I will not talk in class" Of course he sandbags it and it takes forever. That's when I threaten to start taking things away if he does ot pick up the pace. And twice that has lead to exorcist type tantrums. He actually loses it. Starts shaking and kicking and flipping out seemingly uncontrollably. Took 3-5 minutes for him to calm down and get over it tonight. Never seen shit like that.

We've taken toys away before. Often. Sometimes he gets mad, sometimes he just deals with it. But never a tantrum of this caliber. Once he calmed down tonight, he got back to it and finishd it without further incident. Actually wrote as many lines in 20 minutes as he wrote in the 2 hours prior when he was complaining about it.

He has been so consistently bad at school lately that the teacher actually called my wife today to let us know how many things he had done by lunch time today andthat they have some sort of behavioral action plan they want to start trying with him at school(don't know the details yet).

And while my tale has focused on the misbehavior at school, its at home as well. Unless I am breathing down his neck he will find some way to do something he's not supposed to be doing.

We are also about to completely eradiate sugar from his diet. No more cookies in his lunch bag. No more waffles and syrup for breakfast. Sugar is about to be only a memory for him.

So. Thoughts? Suggestions? The floor is open.

Since: Jan 10

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#79053
Jan 24, 2013
 
1. I have no advice. I'm sorry you are dealing with this. This is way above my paygrade. I look forward to other suggestions. I also think you could find some *really* good help at a certain Washington Post forum. The knowledge there -- esp. a few specific people, depending on the issue -- is astounding.

2. I'm sorry, but i smiled at the part where he enjoyed picking up trash in the neighborhood. That seemed exactly what a 6yo might feel!

3. Does he give any reasons for his misbehavior? I'm just curious. I know much more about ages 1-3. They're simpler sometimes!

Good luck!

Since: Jan 10

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#79054
Jan 24, 2013
 
Oh. When Nick's 3yo was having behavior issues, they took dairy away and that seemed to help. He's over whatever issues he had with dairy back then, so apparently, this thing can come then go.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

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#79055
Jan 24, 2013
 
Tonka-
Is there a peditatrician who knows him and you and your wife well enough to know waht his base line behavior was so that they could compare it to the current behavior?

Does your school district have a psychologist? He can't be the first kid who has acted out. Our district psychologist mostly handles the learning disability stuff but they are well trained on other aspects of children's behavior.

Ask your mom whether you went through any phase like this at teh same age and if so, how she dealt with it.

Good luck

“bELieve”

Since: Jun 09

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#79056
Jan 24, 2013
 
Mister Tonka wrote:
SUBLIME LENGTH POST FOLLOWS
==========

OK, imaginary peeps. I don't usually come here seeking answers, but instead to be entertained and to share my brilliance with the rest of you. But seeing as how I went to the well today with the debt collector question, I figured I might as well go back to the well and solicit opinions, analysis, and advice from the arm chair child psychologists.

...

So. Thoughts? Suggestions? The floor is open.
Do you have a good relationship with your pediatrician? If so, I would set up an appointment with him/her to discuss possible medical causes. They may also have some suggestions.

The only thing that has worked with Ry is a combination of goal setting with an agreed upon punishment if the goal is not met. He was having a period at school where he was getting in trouble every day. He and my husband sat down and came up with the plan together. If he had three weeks without getting in yellow at school (they start in green and move into yellow, orange, red, then blue with each infraction at school) then he would get a prize - a big prize. If he didn't meet his goal, there would be an agreed upon punishment (in Ry's case it would have been no video games for 3 weeks). We told his teacher about it so she could remind him of his promise when she saw that he was starting to get antsy.

This worked because Ry was involved in the process - external attempts to modify his behavior have no effect on him.

Good luck. Parenting can be rewarding, but it is really hard sometimes.

“Licensed to Ill”

Since: Aug 08

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#79057
Jan 24, 2013
 
I think all you can do is continue with the carrot and stick approach ... escalate the stick as necessary.

We went through a phase where my youngest was misbehaving at school. Not that bad, but we stuck with it ... it took awhile ... didn't happen over night ... but he's been doing much better.

For awhile he was sleeping up In his room by himself on weekends and the other two were having movie night and a sleep over in the living room. When they see they are missing out on stuff their siblings get to do, they don't like that. Maybe play that angle too. Can be ice cream ... A sleep over and movie night ... A day with out alone with daddy (that's a big deal to my boys ... Especially if it involves a ride on my bike (helps to be a cool dad, lol))

Not all kids are the same ... My middle son responds right away to carrot and stick stuff ... He actually foesnt require a lot of parenting ... Not my youngest though.

Just stick with it and be consistent. Give it time ... A month or even a few months is not the time scale where you will necessarily see results. It might take a half a year or a year or a few years.

We dealt with a lot of it last year and the first part of this year with my son. Same thing too ... Doing homework after school was like pulling teeth. He would drag his feet, do sloppy work, half as$ it. My middle son just comes home and does his shyte right away (with a special needs son and the youngest being a pickle sometimes we kind of needed an easy one).

My youngest, I'll make him redo something 5 times if I have to ... Until its done right ... He can cry all he wants ... If he starts having a tantrum in the process that's just going to make things even more difficult ...

Consistency, a lot of effort on your part and your wife's part (its work ... No bones about it), and time.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

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#79058
Jan 24, 2013
 
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
I also think you could find some *really* good help at a certain Washington Post forum. The knowledge there -- esp. a few specific people, depending on the issue -- is astounding.
what's the address?
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
2. I'm sorry, but i smiled at the part where he enjoyed picking up trash in the neighborhood. That seemed exactly what a 6yo might feel!
I hink his attitude on that punishment was great. It just eliminates it as legitimate form f punishment.
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
3. Does he give any reasons for his misbehavior?
Not really. More like excuses, explanations, and reationalizatins

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

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#79059
Jan 24, 2013
 
PEllen wrote:
Tonka-
Is there a peditatrician who knows him and you and your wife well enough to know waht his base line behavior was so that they could compare it to the current behavior?
Nope. You know my attitude towards doctors. They provide a service. They are not "part of the team". That being said, his pediatrician sees him for a yearly checkup and not much else. He behaves himself while there. Doc has no baseline knowledge of how my child behaves.
PEllen wrote:
Does your school district have a psychologist? He can't be the first kid who has acted out. Our district psychologist mostly handles the learning disability stuff but they are well trained on other aspects of children's behavior.
During tonight's meltdown, my wife looked at each other and agreed that we just might have to take him to see some sort of behavioral doctor. If the school has such a thing, that would be great if it continues.
PEllen wrote:
Ask your mom whether you went through any phase like this at teh same age and if so, how she dealt with it.
Good luck
How dare you! How DARE YOU!?! I was a perfect child!

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