Topix Chitown Regulars

[RACE]

Unfortunately no, but if you do get any ideas, can them and sell them.

You cant go back, only forward. Nobody has a hallmark holiday and somebody will always get drunk and loud.

Andie J wrote:

Hey folks. I have a dilemma I hope you can help with. I got a long email from my sister this morning. She has spent the last week unable to get out of bed due to depression. She was on treatment for Hep C & a side effect is depression. I don't know if she's still taking Zoloft. I asked her & haven't yet heard back from her.
Part of the problem is that she's wanting to go back to her fantasy childhood & celebrate the holidays as a close-knit family. The reality is that we weren't close-knit. Some of us were close, but far from all. There's a 15 year age span. My younger brother barely knows his older brothers. The girls span 4 years, so we were closer. But the holidays that I remember always were stressful. Some of the animals got hurt by one or another uncle, Mom yelled, someone cried & too many people got wasted. Very chaotic.
I don't know what to tell her to help her get back to reality. I prefer a nice quiet holiday dinner, with no arguments & little noise (except for yelling during the football games). She wants a houseful, yet when she does have a houseful she agonizes for weeks because of the stress. We went to her house last Christmas & her kids were there with their SOs. We all had a good time, but it seems it didn't make her happy. She thinks the whole family is dysfunctional. I told her that the family dynamics have changed over the years. We don't have gatherings the way our parents & grandparents did. We're scattered around the country, so big parties aren't going to happen.
I don't really know what to do, except to continue telling her the holidays are what you make of them. Any ideas?

[Union Maid CA]

I just saw that there is a topix in San Francisco.I never even looked before- doesn't look as exciting as this though.

[Terri at home]

Union Maid CA wrote:

I just saw that there is a topix in San Francisco.I never even looked before- doesn't look as exciting as this though.

And don't you like our little group of people here?

[Union Maid CA]

I love you..I was just curious...probably won't post unless there's something juicy.

[AngelaMN]

Twenty-seven states have banned texting while driving. But 25 offer traffic updates via Twitter.

My code is 8888!

[j_m_w]

AngelaMN wrote:

Twenty-seven states have banned texting while driving. But 25 offer traffic updates via Twitter.
My code is 8888!

That makes about as much sense as judging the same post as mean and touching.

[Ndugu]

RACE wrote:

The only book I would come close to agreeing with you is "The TommyKnockers" and he admitted he wrote that coked up (with qtips in his nose to trap the bleeding)
<quoted text>

That was the worst load he ever squeezed out. I felt bad for him that his name is forever attached to that foul piece of wretched refuse. It was as bad as The Stand was good.

[Dave]

good news?

[Andie J]

AngelaMN wrote:

<quoted text>
Andie, I feel like I must apologize for what I"m about to say: She sounds like one of those people who wants someone was sexually abused by another family member to suck it up and play nice at family gatherings, and not make a scene (or refuse to attend) if the abuser will be there.
Like... she wants to pretend, and she wants everyone else to pretend, that everything is great and that the whole family dynamic is like something from Ozzie and Harriet or Leave it to Beaver. And those families never existed outside of the the television.

Right. We don't live in that fantasy world. She's old enough to know that (53). Her kids say the family is dysfunctional & she agrees, just because we don't live like the Cleavers. She says that her husband talks to his sisters all the time. Well, she could talk to her brothers & sisters all the time if she'd just pick up the damned phone. I haven't gotten her directly on the phone in several years, ever since she got a cell. It's always voice mail. And noone answers the landline- ever. Or returns messages left on that line. A lot of this is her doing. I just don't want her living with the illusion that we're the perfect family. We never have been & never will be. I think that makes us more interesting. I also think that's something she needs to talk to her therapist about.

Terri- Thanks for the support. I do think she just wanted to whine. She's very sick with the hepatitis & is taking it out on others. I can understand.

[Andie J]

E_E_E wrote:

<quoted text>
Yikes. I'm really sorry you're dealing with this.
If she's that deep in denial, you probably CAN'T convince her she's wrong. Not until she's willing to listen, anyway.
All you can do is tell her you want to spend time with HER but you will not associate with these other people (which it sounds like you've done, good for you!) and perhaps that means having a celebration on another day.
I don't envy you at ALL. The holidays are so difficult. We want them to be all happy and fun but the more people and personalities and histories you throw into the mix, the more potential there is for high emotions. Some of those emotions can be good, but some can be very very destructive.
Good luck.

When the dog puked because of the cig butts, I was only 14 but I laid into my uncle like you wouldn't believe. Mom yelled at me & I explained what happened. She asked my uncle (her brother) to take his family & leave. Mom was a real animal lover & couldn't abide by abuse.

Mom's side of the family has an annual reunion. I stopped going when I was a teenager. I can't bear to associate with any of them. I recently got an email from a cousin, whose last name is the same as Mom's. She asked all the "real cousins", this is, those with the same last name, to get together for a cousins reunion. I emailed back "What are we, chopped liver? Just because we don't have the same last name means we're not "real" cousins? If we're not invited, then why did you email me?" I never heard back from her. Fine with me. This cousin is "cig butts" daughter. I can see where her attitude came from.

[Andie J]

J-Kat wrote:

<quoted text>
"The Haunting of Hill House" had me looking over my shoulder for days, but now, nothing scares me much.

Was that the one where the walls were breathing? I remember being scared by that. There was an episode on, I think, The Twilight Zone. Or One Step Beyond. It was about a woman who would see someone standing behind her when she looked in a mirror. That rattled my cage quite a bit. The first time I saw "The Birds" my sister beat her hands against the wall when I was going up to bed. It sounded like wings flapping. I think I made it all the way down the hall in one leap.

[Andie J]

Mcfixer wrote:

<quoted text>
This, rather than the fact that he was the driving force behind the "Band-Aid"(with Midge Ure), "live Aid" (with Midge Ure), and "USA for Africa" , campaigns of the 80's?
What he did saved tens of thousands of lives in Africa.
Call me crazy, but that rates a little higher for me.

I agree, but Angela was relating this to a story I told about a guy who took on his dead wife's kids in order to keep them all together.

[Andie J]

Here's Abby:
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/

[Andie J]

And Amy:
http://www.topix.net/forum/chicago/TOGQT2MUPC...

[Andie J]

Abby's a drag today. Sanctimonious.

[Andie J]

Boy, I screwed Abby's link up, too.
Here's the right one:
http://www.topix.net/forum/chicago/TPIPVEV7H2...

[j_m_w]

Andie J wrote:

Boy, I screwed Abby's link up, too.
Here's the right one:
http://www.topix.net/forum/chicago/TPIPVEV7H2...

Thanks Andie.

Both columns are mind-numbingly boring so we'd better either start arguing in the comments or come up with another topic of our own.
:)

[I Like Tonka]

j_m_w wrote:

<quoted text>
Thanks Andie.
Both columns are mind-numbingly boring so we'd better either start arguing in the comments or come up with another topic of our own.
:)

How bout Annie?
http://www.topix.net/forum/chicago/TA4CMCHSU5...
Just posted. Topix might take a bit to have it show up.

[Terri at home]

I agree. The columns aren't very interesting -- although thanks Andie for posting them. Sometimes they become the best threads.

[j_m_w]

I Like Tonka wrote:

<quoted text>
How bout Annie?
http://www.topix.net/forum/chicago/TA4CMCHSU5...
Just posted. Topix might take a bit to have it show up.

Thanks Tonka. Much better.