Topix Chitown Regulars

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#78301 Jan 8, 2013
squishymama wrote:
http://now.msn.com/funny-publi c-transportation-photos
Picture #5 was taken on the CTA for sure!
That first picture... i have that same cutting board!

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#78302 Jan 8, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>uh...it would only get under my skin when I was calling for something important, and it would not really hit me until I got home and found out she was on the phone with a friend. Its not like I'd lose my shit the very second it happened.
And no, I'm talking about instances where I can't wait a few minutes.
example: I'm on the way home. I have nothing planned for dinner. Is she cooking dinner? I need to know RIGHT NOW so I can stop and get something on the way. Wait too long and I've driven past everything. Then she's gonna want me to go back out. F that.
If I get home and find out my call was ignored cause she was on some sort of business call, I'll live. But as far as personal calls, I'm #1.
If that makes me an asshole in your eyes, I won't lose a second of sleep tonight.
Even if it was her best friend who just found out she has cancer? Or one of her friend's kids were taken to the hospital. Or, or.....

To me, then it's time to order pizza or chinese and call it a day.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#78303 Jan 8, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
This sounds controlling to me. If you're not calling about anything important, you can wait a few minutes for her to get off the phone and call you back. How do you know SHE isn't on an important call? To expect -DEMAND- your wife takes your call everytime makes you an @zzhole. Having the attitude of "well, you don't KNOW if I'm calling for something important or not," is the same paranoid attidude that people have when they just assume the worst.
I wouldn't say it makes him controlling or an a-hole, but I wouldn't care to the degree he does. If my wife didn't answer and it was something urgent ... I would also text her and let her know I really need to talk to her immediately and if she then ignored me, then I'd be thinking wtf.

I'm pretty sure my wife has not switched over sometimes when I have called her. I pretty much only call if I need something or I have a question, but it is rarely urgent. So, it's not a big deal to me if she finishes up her convo and then gets back to me.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#78304 Jan 8, 2013
Toj wrote:
<quoted text>
Even if it was her best friend who just found out she has cancer? Or one of her friend's kids were taken to the hospital. Or, or.....
To me, then it's time to order pizza or chinese and call it a day.
I'm agreeing with you again, Toj!

Imagine this in a letter:
Dear Amby,
Everytime I'm on the phone with one of my friends or family members or co-workers, and my bf/husband calls, he DEMANDS I put my friend on hold and take his call, he says it could either be important or he just wants to know if he should pick up a can of tomato sauce on his way home. If I refuse, he won't answer MY calls to him...

He could always just send HER @zz back out if they don't have anything for dinner. But I agree, demanding I be at your beck and call is the best way to ensure that won't happen.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#78305 Jan 8, 2013
Sublime1 wrote:
So, it's not a big deal to me if she finishes up her convo and then gets back to me.
That's all I'm saying. I'm not gonna blow my top because I called my wife and she didn't answer.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#78306 Jan 8, 2013
Let's move the convo from the phone to the living room. If the wife's friend was in the house, is he supposed to wait till she leaves before he can ask his wife a question?

All's tonka is saying is that it is husband/wife courtesy that if one calls the other, you answer. You want to call that courtesy a control issue, and tonka sees it as a sign of respect for your spouse. Since he applies the same standard to himself as he does to her, there really is nothing controlling about it.
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
I'm agreeing with you again, Toj!
Imagine this in a letter:
Dear Amby,
Everytime I'm on the phone with one of my friends or family members or co-workers, and my bf/husband calls, he DEMANDS I put my friend on hold and take his call, he says it could either be important or he just wants to know if he should pick up a can of tomato sauce on his way home. If I refuse, he won't answer MY calls to him...
He could always just send HER @zz back out if they don't have anything for dinner. But I agree, demanding I be at your beck and call is the best way to ensure that won't happen.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#78307 Jan 8, 2013
RACE wrote:
Let's move the convo from the phone to the living room. If the wife's friend was in the house, is he supposed to wait till she leaves before he can ask his wife a question?
All's tonka is saying is that it is husband/wife courtesy that if one calls the other, you answer. You want to call that courtesy a control issue, and tonka sees it as a sign of respect for your spouse. Since he applies the same standard to himself as he does to her, there really is nothing controlling about it.
<quoted text>
You're trying to compare three people together in a room to someone making a phone call? I'll not argue such an analogy. Are you saying a man's wife SHOULD be at his beck and call?
Careful how you answer...
You might pzz off the torch-wielding feminazis

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#78308 Jan 8, 2013
No, I am comparing conversations. You are just trying to be obtuse.
As for beck and call, I already made my point that it is open to interpretation.
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
You're trying to compare three people together in a room to someone making a phone call? I'll not argue such an analogy. Are you saying a man's wife SHOULD be at his beck and call?
Careful how you answer...
You might pzz off the torch-wielding feminazis

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#78309 Jan 8, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Let me ask you something...
How much proof would it take?
ANY.

Make certain however that it is empirical PROOF, not just belief. The fact that one believes does not equal proof.

Think of it like this. You have a ring, you believe that it is gold. It can be tested. When tested, the evidence will prove that it is or isn't. BELIEVING that it is, is not, prof, it is only belief. The ability to test gives us the evidence to say yes or no.

When you have ANY testable proof, any testable evidence, not belief, not things written in a book by fallible, corruptible, human beings, then talk to me. You want me to believe in something, freaking PROVE it. Saying it is so does not MAKE it so.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#78310 Jan 8, 2013
Mimi Seattle wrote:
<quoted text>
ANY.
Make certain however that it is empirical PROOF, not just belief. The fact that one believes does not equal proof.
Think of it like this. You have a ring, you believe that it is gold. It can be tested. When tested, the evidence will prove that it is or isn't. BELIEVING that it is, is not, prof, it is only belief. The ability to test gives us the evidence to say yes or no.
When you have ANY testable proof, any testable evidence, not belief, not things written in a book by fallible, corruptible, human beings, then talk to me. You want me to believe in something, freaking PROVE it. Saying it is so does not MAKE it so.
Can you prove where homosapiens came from? Or are there just theories written in a book?

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#78311 Jan 8, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
You're trying to compare three people together in a room to someone making a phone call? I'll not argue such an analogy. Are you saying a man's wife SHOULD be at his beck and call?
Careful how you answer...
You might pzz off the torch-wielding feminazis
Lets try this in a way edogg can easily understand(hopefully).

Lets say your girlfriend decides to try something new and instead of throwing chairs at you, she sits in one and calls her friend up. While shooting the breeze with her, you walk into the room and have to ask her something. Is it acceptable to you that she simply ignore you and wave you way until she gets off the phone? What if her friend is trying out this sitting in chairs thing also and they are sitting there together, in the same room, talking, and you are not home and give her a call. Are you cool if she lets it go to voicemail cause she's having such a nice conversation and does not want to be interupted by you?

To me, they are all the same act and extremely poor treatment of your spouse and not acceptable.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#78312 Jan 8, 2013
RACE wrote:
Let's move the convo from the phone to the living room. If the wife's friend was in the house, is he supposed to wait till she leaves before he can ask his wife a question?
All's tonka is saying is that it is husband/wife courtesy that if one calls the other, you answer. You want to call that courtesy a control issue, and tonka sees it as a sign of respect for your spouse. Since he applies the same standard to himself as he does to her, there really is nothing controlling about it.
<quoted text>
Not the same thing. If a friend is in the room, would he interrupt a conversation or wait for the lag in conversation? That is what I see the comparison.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#78313 Jan 8, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>Lets try this in a way edogg can easily understand(hopefully).
Lets say your girlfriend decides to try something new and instead of throwing chairs at you, she sits in one and calls her friend up. While shooting the breeze with her, you walk into the room and have to ask her something. Is it acceptable to you that she simply ignore you and wave you way until she gets off the phone? What if her friend is trying out this sitting in chairs thing also and they are sitting there together, in the same room, talking, and you are not home and give her a call. Are you cool if she lets it go to voicemail cause she's having such a nice conversation and does not want to be interupted by you?
To me, they are all the same act and extremely poor treatment of your spouse and not acceptable.
You wait until someone is off the phone. If it is important, spouses have expressions that tell each other if it's more important than what they are currently doing. I learned when I was young you do not interrupt a conversation. Unless it is very important, it is downright rude to interrupt. I don't care who you are.

Now, to completely ignore someone without a gesture (pointer finger up meaning one minute) would not be right. However, the spouse is still rude (unless it is very important) for interrupting.

Eh, different strokes and all that.

I see it as a spouse should already know they are important to each other and should not need constant validation. That's too needy. Not saying you should never validate the importance of one another, however.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#78314 Jan 8, 2013
Toj wrote:
<quoted text>
Not the same thing. If a friend is in the room, would he interrupt a conversation or wait for the lag in conversation? That is what I see the comparison.
What? Not the same thing? It is exactly the same thing. Just a differnt avenue of communication. If the friend was in the room and he walked in, you expect him to wait for a lag before he asks his question. I would expect her to see that he would like to interupt and she would voluntarily stop her conversation to ask what he needs.

Personally, I would give that courtesy to anyone who walked into the room while I was having a conversaton, but I would give it to my wife without question. I would expect that courtesy as well from most, but without question from my wife. I can't imagine any casual conversation being so important that it can't be put on hold for a minute.

And lets not start twisting the scene into me expecting her to put some deep emotional my-mother-is-dying-my husband-has-cancer-i-lost-my-j ob-and-daughter-got raped conversation on hold the minute she sees me or my number. I'm talking about normal how-are-things-going type conversations.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#78315 Jan 8, 2013
So what??? the spouse only answers 1/2 the time?
and again, you are introducing "hand gestures" Something that cannot be seen when calling. My point (and tonkas I believe) is that stripped down to the basics, it is simply a conversation and is it wrong to expect that a spouse should pause whatever conversation they are in, to listen to their spouse and address them?

Were not talking constant interruptions, or wailing like a child looking for attention. Just basic if your spouse calls, do you answer or ignore.
Toj wrote:
<quoted text>
You wait until someone is off the phone. If it is important, spouses have expressions that tell each other if it's more important than what they are currently doing. I learned when I was young you do not interrupt a conversation. Unless it is very important, it is downright rude to interrupt. I don't care who you are.
Now, to completely ignore someone without a gesture (pointer finger up meaning one minute) would not be right. However, the spouse is still rude (unless it is very important) for interrupting.
Eh, different strokes and all that.
I see it as a spouse should already know they are important to each other and should not need constant validation. That's too needy. Not saying you should never validate the importance of one another, however.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#78316 Jan 8, 2013
It is the same, conversations on the phone have lots of lags, just as a conversation in person does. How is he supposed to know when that lag is occurring so he can call?
Toj wrote:
<quoted text>
Not the same thing. If a friend is in the room, would he interrupt a conversation or wait for the lag in conversation? That is what I see the comparison.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#78317 Jan 8, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>What? Not the same thing? It is exactly the same thing.
Not the same, tonka. I tried explaining it to race. You should not expect your spouse to drop everything and rush to the phone when you call, as you should not expect her to turn away from her friend and rush to greet you at the door as soon as you walk in and get you your slippers and pipe.

If she's watching Jersey Boys when you call, by all means, she should answer the phone. If she's on the phone with her mother asking if her father survived the heart operation, she can call you back. Maybe she's on the phone with her friend who's son just broke his leg in soccer?

Or are YOU the one to decide which conversations she's allowed to engage in when you ring on the other line asking if you should stop for milk?

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#78318 Jan 8, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Can you prove where homosapiens came from? Or are there just theories written in a book?
Nope. But I can prove evolution. Not to you, nor would I waste my time trying to enlighten you, but it is a fact, unlike the stuff you say you believe. It is scientifically testable with empirical evidence.

One of the main points of studying anthropology is to understand where homo sapiens came from. If we had all those answers then we wouldn't be studying where we came from. We would be studying only other aspects of human beings; culture, language, archaeology.

By the way, evolution doesn't apply only to humans. I know most people understand that, but there are some...<shrug>

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#78319 Jan 8, 2013
RACE wrote:
How is he supposed to know when that lag is occurring so he can call?
<quoted text>
Seriously? This is your argument?

That's why I said you can't compare people talking in a room (in person) with someone calling on the phone.

Once again, I will not argue such an analogy.

Since: Mar 09

West Palm Beach, FL

#78320 Jan 8, 2013
Eh. Gotta go with edog on this one. Only the wife in this scenario knows all the circumstances and should be trusted to make the right call.

If I was on the phone when jasper called, I'd let it go to voicemail. If he called back right away, I'd know he needed to know something right then and then I'd answer. Otherwise I'd catch him when I got home and know he was calling just to say hi and no big deal either way.

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