All's tonka is saying is that it is husband/wife courtesy that if one calls the other, you answer. You want to call that courtesy a control issue, and tonka sees it as a sign of respect for your spouse. Since he applies the same standard to himself as he does to her, there really is nothing controlling about it.
I'm agreeing with you again, Toj!
Imagine this in a letter:
Everytime I'm on the phone with one of my friends or family members or co-workers, and my bf/husband calls, he DEMANDS I put my friend on hold and take his call, he says it could either be important or he just wants to know if he should pick up a can of tomato sauce on his way home. If I refuse, he won't answer MY calls to him...
He could always just send HER @zz back out if they don't have anything for dinner. But I agree, demanding I be at your beck and call is the best way to ensure that won't happen.