Since: Mar 09

West Palm Beach, FL

#77983 Dec 31, 2012
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
Why do you think she did it? Do you think her relationship was having trouble/wasn't a good fit after getting to know each other for a year?
Did her boyfriend find out and he broke up with her, or she took her behavior as a sign that her boyfriend isn't who she should be with, and she ended things?
She knew the relationship would end sooner or later because they just weren't going in the same direction. So I think what happened is a symptom of underlying issues - nothing terrible, but just knowing that they weren't right for each other.

Her boyfriend broke up with her. She denied doing anything with another guy and told him she slept on my couch, but either he or one of his friends saw us downtown because he described the other guy's shirt. Like I said, nothing overtly WRONG happened in front of me, but I guess he put two and two together.

Her boyfriend also told her she should consider making new friends because it's not cool that I let her "flirt" with another guy knowing she's in a relationship. That stung. But she told him to leave me out of it and that I'm not responsible for anything between them.

I truly had no idea anything bad was going to happen until the elevator doors closed in my face. That's where the naivety comes in and I need to get better about that.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#77984 Dec 31, 2012
Toj wrote:
<quoted text>
Tonka's right. She probably did think you got a better offer so you were dumping those maybe plans with her. Not sayin' that was your intention at all, but that's probably how she saw it.
All about perception sometimes.

I recall one time I had no inention of going out one night. Girl called to see if I wanted to do something. Told her no thanks. Stayin home. Then a couple friends showed up at my door. Invite over the phone is a lot easier to decline than when someone's there in your face saying "get your ass dressed". Ended up shooting pool. Chick ended up at the same place and that's exactly how she took it: Better offer came along.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#77985 Dec 31, 2012
j_m_w wrote:
Her boyfriend also told her she should consider making new friends because it's not cool that I let her "flirt" with another guy knowing she's in a relationship. That stung. But she told him to leave me out of it and that I'm not responsible for anything between them.
Good for your friend. Maybe he spoke out of hurt, but he was completely wrong. Now, if your friend routinely was flirting with guys at the bar and going home with them (while also being in a LTR), then it's up to you as to whether you want to be friends with her, but this one instance? I wouldn't want any responsibility for that either.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#77986 Dec 31, 2012
PLUS: There is nothing wrong, really, with flirting.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#77987 Dec 31, 2012
j_m_w wrote:
<quoted text>She knew the relationship would end sooner or later because they just weren't going in the same direction. So I think what happened is a symptom of underlying issues - nothing terrible, but just knowing that they weren't right for each other.

Her boyfriend broke up with her. She denied doing anything with another guy and told him she slept on my couch, but either he or one of his friends saw us downtown because he described the other guy's shirt. Like I said, nothing overtly WRONG happened in front of me, but I guess he put two and two together.

Her boyfriend also told her she should consider making new friends because it's not cool that I let her "flirt" with another guy knowing she's in a relationship. That stung. But she told him to leave me out of it and that I'm not responsible for anything between them.

I truly had no idea anything bad was going to happen until the elevator doors closed in my face. That's where the naivety comes in and I need to get better about that.
It's not on you AT ALL. It's on your friend. Unless her safety is at issue, it's not your job to babysit. When it comes to that stuff, I couldn't care less what my buds do when we go out.

I know shes your friend, but good for him for dumping her. I would have done the same. Whether she actually slept with him or not is immaterial. You can't be with a woman who walks all over you.

Since: Mar 09

West Palm Beach, FL

#77988 Dec 31, 2012
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
Good for your friend. Maybe he spoke out of hurt, but he was completely wrong. Now, if your friend routinely was flirting with guys at the bar and going home with them (while also being in a LTR), then it's up to you as to whether you want to be friends with her, but this one instance? I wouldn't want any responsibility for that either.
Thanks. And it's not like I was encouraging her - I was totally clueless.

I've been friends with L for about 3 months, we clicked really well when we first met so we grew pretty close pretty fast. But if this happens again, I'll have an honest conversation about it, and if it happens again after that I'll keep my distance. But I really doubt it - she feels awful. And we all do dumb stuff sometimes, especially under stress.

Since: Feb 08

Location hidden

#77989 Dec 31, 2012
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
LOVE IT! I Think you should find a new mom and take a big garbage bag of dirty diapers off her hands, too.
Nope, keeping it completely legal. He can use new bags if the old ones are ripped (which he probably will just so it doesn't dump all over his truck bed)but can only "return" the garbage she dumped.
Otherwise it would be a great idea, but he doesn't want to end up with charges of his own.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#77990 Dec 31, 2012
I think Woman #1 was playing Race herself. She could have responded right away while they were texting each other with "sounds good, see you tonight." But she didn't. Half an hour passed.

I think she was checking in on another offer herself.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#77991 Dec 31, 2012
j_m_w wrote:
<quoted text> But if this happens again, I'll have an honest conversation about it, and if it happens again after that I'll keep my distance. But I really doubt it - she feels awful. And we all do dumb stuff sometimes, especially under stress.
I don't get that. I have friends who step out all the time. None of my business as far as I'm concerned. I'm not the relationship police.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#77992 Dec 31, 2012
RACE wrote:
Why are women so difficult?

I was planning on having a nice evening to myself, large fire to welcome in the new year...

Texted a female friend, "So, whats your plans for tonight?"

Texts back "was supposed to go to dinner, but feeling sick"

Text back "Thats terrible, hope you feel better. If you want you can come over and share your germs"

30 minutes later get a text from another female.
"coming up tonight, wanna play cards and have drinks?"

Wait for text back from first female....
Nothing, so I send her a text saying that I have to begg off, got another invite.

She texts back "gee thanks"

Im like WTF? So text back "Would you rather I be with you? You gave me no indication, and you had other plans."

What the heck?
Dude!! You had a potential 3 some in the works and you blew it!

:p
PEllen

Chicago, IL

#77993 Dec 31, 2012
My radio station from London is playing non stop Andre Rieu. I am in hog heaven even if I am still at work.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#77994 Dec 31, 2012
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
I think Woman #1 was playing Race herself. She could have responded right away while they were texting each other with "sounds good, see you tonight." But she didn't. Half an hour passed.
I think she was checking in on another offer herself.
Or she could have been taking a nap with her phone in the other room considering that she said she was not feeling well. And half the posters here like to say there is no obligation to jump every time the phone beeps at you. She could have heard the phone, been in the middle of something, like a big dump, and forgot to check it when she had time to.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#77995 Dec 31, 2012
Sublime1 wrote:
<quoted text>
I don't get that. I have friends who step out all the time. None of my business as far as I'm concerned. I'm not the relationship police.
I'm with you. I'll decide if your actions make me not want to hang out with you, but I'll not be the school marm telling you you're being naughty and need to stop what you're doing.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#77996 Dec 31, 2012
Toj wrote:
They say a breakthrough on teh fiscal cliff. I haven't read the article -- it's the first entry on Google news and it's CBS.

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-250_162-57561384/...
Just announced that the house republicans won't vote on sny deal today. I for one am happy about that. The dems are offering absolutely nothing when it comes to reducing deficits and are simply planning on using any increases revenue to give more handouts ... the democrat way!

I'd rather we go over the cliff than have them sign a deal that does nothing but increase taxes and add more spending. We might go into a recession assuming they don't do something after today and make it retroactive, but IMO it a recession today beats a depression in 10 years once all the spending democrats have done catch up to us ... and it will.

I can't believe we have another 4 years of that F'ing idiot in office. Guys not fit to run a taco stand and should go back to organizing people to vote so the government increases handouts.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#77997 Dec 31, 2012
Which could imply impatience on my part, and trying to force an answer out of her. Instead I tried to give her a cushion of time to decide.
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text> Your message to her did not indicate any urgency of finalizing plans. It was pretty open ended. Instead of just waiting to see if she responded, then pulling the rug out from under her, you probably should have at least let her know that you got another invite and given her the chance to either commit or decline.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#77998 Dec 31, 2012
That would fit her profile, I texted her to say that when I saw her buying wine (we went together), I assumed that she had an invite ans was bringing them with her. She just texted back the she bought them "In case" she was invited somewhere. So if she was angling to hang here, that would have been unnecessary since she knows I buy wine that I know she likes, just to have them with her. So I only offered the invite when it sounded like she was going to be alone (but she still never said she was NOT going to dinner)
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
I think Woman #1 was playing Race herself. She could have responded right away while they were texting each other with "sounds good, see you tonight." But she didn't. Half an hour passed.
I think she was checking in on another offer herself.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#77999 Dec 31, 2012
<*Blink..*> I am such a dolt!
Sublime1 wrote:
<quoted text>
Dude!! You had a potential 3 some in the works and you blew it!
:p

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#78000 Dec 31, 2012
No, she was at work, and I dont think she got so busy that she had to leave the convo, never has before, maybe 10 min between textback.
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>Or she could have been taking a nap with her phone in the other room considering that she said she was not feeling well. And half the posters here like to say there is no obligation to jump every time the phone beeps at you. She could have heard the phone, been in the middle of something, like a big dump, and forgot to check it when she had time to.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#78001 Dec 31, 2012
I posted an ad on Craiglist this afternoon for a HP printer toner cartridge that we can no longer use -- still sealed in the box. Immediately had three responses, and one guy is on his way here right now to pick it up.

I love that site. I've had three people come over to my apartment so far to pick up carloads of boxes after I've unpacked, all on the same day I posted the ad.

There must be people who just go through the "Free" pages regularly.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#78002 Dec 31, 2012
RACE wrote:
No, she was at work, and I dont think she got so busy that she had to leave the convo, never has before, maybe 10 min between textback.
<quoted text>
Exactly. Typically, if my friends and I are having a back-and-forth texting conversation, one of us will say "Okay gotta go, later" or something similar to indicate we're done texting for a while, so the other person knows that the convo is over for now and to not expecting another msg right away.

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