Topix Chitown Regulars

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#77603 Dec 23, 2012
I never said I was above making false equivalencies. I just make them to illustrate reichwing hypocrisy, like banning abortion to eliminate abortion.

Guns won't be banned by the courts or confiscated by this president either but, that doesn't stop reichwingers from crying about that whenever gun control is mentioned.

I just find fault in republicans thinking that something controlled (like abortion) should instead be banned when something that directly affects every citizen (like guns) shouldn't be controlled at all. Thus, false equivalencies just for fun!

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#77604 Dec 23, 2012
Happy Festivus, bitches.

Carry on with your airing of greviances.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#77605 Dec 23, 2012
Mister Tonka wrote:
Happy Festivus, bitches.
Carry on with your airing of greviances.
Nice to see you stop by. There was speculation something awful happened to you. Glad we were wrong.

You have a good holiday too.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#77606 Dec 23, 2012
Ferrerman wrote:
I never said I was above making false equivalencies. I just make them to illustrate reichwing hypocrisy, like banning abortion to eliminate abortion.

Guns won't be banned by the courts or confiscated by this president either but, that doesn't stop reichwingers from crying about that whenever gun control is mentioned.

I just find fault in republicans thinking that something controlled (like abortion) should instead be banned when something that directly affects every citizen (like guns) shouldn't be controlled at all. Thus, false equivalencies just for fun!
Well, I dunno why you are directing such things towards me. Outside of fiscal matters, I side with the left on many issues. And while you like to label me a reichwinger and a Fox News junkie, I can't stand fox news. I even voted for O'dummy the election before last.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#77607 Dec 23, 2012
Mister Tonka wrote:
Happy Festivus, bitches.

Carry on with your airing of greviances.
Merry Christmas, bro!

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#77608 Dec 23, 2012
Sublime1 wrote:
<quoted text>
Well, I dunno why you are directing such things towards me. Outside of fiscal matters, I side with the left on many issues. And while you like to label me a reichwinger and a Fox News junkie, I can't stand fox news. I even voted for O'dummy the election before last.
That was for both you dummies. I'm watching football. Can only multitask so much...Plus, I barely read yours...

Since: Mar 09

West Palm Beach, FL

#77610 Dec 23, 2012
They got back together.

I haves serious question. We were going to do Christmas dinner just the three of us girls: me, A, and her roommate. I was telling myself if the bf ended up back in the picture, I wouldn't go. I never told A this though so she assumes I'm still going.

I'm considering it, only because I want to make the choice that will result in the least amount of stress for me. Backing out would be hard, and he's tolerable to be around - he saves the crazy for when the rest of us aren't around.

Thought?

Merry freaking Christmas.

Since: Mar 09

West Palm Beach, FL

#77611 Dec 23, 2012
*have a

Darn iPad ;)

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#77612 Dec 23, 2012
Ferrerman wrote:
<quoted text>That was for both you dummies. I'm watching football. Can only multitask so much...Plus, I barely read yours...
I suggest you stick to football meathead and leave politics to those with an IQ above 75...

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#77613 Dec 23, 2012
j_m_w wrote:
They got back together.

I haves serious question. We were going to do Christmas dinner just the three of us girls: me, A, and her roommate. I was telling myself if the bf ended up back in the picture, I wouldn't go. I never told A this though so she assumes I'm still going.

I'm considering it, only because I want to make the choice that will result in the least amount of stress for me. Backing out would be hard, and he's tolerable to be around - he saves the crazy for when the rest of us aren't around.

Thought?

Merry freaking Christmas.
I couldn't be friends with someone that dumb. I would rather spend christmas alone. Those are my thoughts.

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#77614 Dec 23, 2012
Sublime1 wrote:
<quoted text>
I suggest you stick to football meathead and leave politics to those with an IQ above 75...
Yikes! Where's your Xmas spirit???
Thanks for being brief!

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#77615 Dec 23, 2012
Ferrerman wrote:
<quoted text>Yikes! Where's your Xmas spirit???
Thanks for being brief!
I was only brief because it's Christmas time. Don't ever say I never did anything for ya.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#77616 Dec 23, 2012
j_m_w wrote:
They got back together.
I haves serious question. We were going to do Christmas dinner just the three of us girls: me, A, and her roommate. I was telling myself if the bf ended up back in the picture, I wouldn't go. I never told A this though so she assumes I'm still going.
I'm considering it, only because I want to make the choice that will result in the least amount of stress for me. Backing out would be hard, and he's tolerable to be around - he saves the crazy for when the rest of us aren't around.
Thought?
Merry freaking Christmas.
Show up. Be there. Make sure he understands she has friends that won't let her be isolated.Smile at him a lot. Make him nervous. Ask detailed questions about his friends and family in Peru and how different teh culture is between the 2 countries. Ask for his mother's address because you heard there were some gorgeous Peruvian woven wool somethings or teh recipe for making Peruvian roast chicken or something and you would love her input. Smile at him when you press that you don't want to bother him, its a (you know)ladies-not girl, ladies- thing.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

#77617 Dec 23, 2012
Don't cast away your fiends because of their choice of partner.
Her problems are not yours. Only she can make her own decisions.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

#77618 Dec 23, 2012
Mister Tonka wrote:
Happy Festivus, bitches.
Carry on with your airing of greviances.
Hey baby! Thought you ran off with cycle

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#77619 Dec 24, 2012
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>Show up. Be there. Make sure he understands she has friends that won't let her be isolated.Smile at him a lot. Make him nervous. Ask detailed questions about his friends and family in Peru and how different teh culture is between the 2 countries. Ask for his mother's address because you heard there were some gorgeous Peruvian woven wool somethings or teh recipe for making Peruvian roast chicken or something and you would love her input. Smile at him when you press that you don't want to bother him, its a (you know)ladies-not girl, ladies- thing.
This sounds like a scene in a bad chick flick. ;)

I have never met anyone who successfully saved another person from their own self-destructive behavior, P. I think that is asking a lot for a friend to go along for the ride, especially when they have repeatedly shown they are going to ignore glaring red flags do what they want anyway. The guy was a giant red flag from the beginning and its been nothing but that since then. I actually think the girl needs counseling.

If anything, i agree with the dog and she she shouldn't be so involved in the roller coaster relationship anymore. If the guys own behavior hasn't caused her to see the light, I highly doubt anything JMW does will help with that. Really what's it gonna take? The guy's a complete dooooosh.
PEllen

Chicago, IL

#77620 Dec 24, 2012
Sublime1 wrote:
<quoted text>
This sounds like a scene in a bad chick flick. ;)
I have never met anyone who successfully saved another person from their own self-destructive behavior, P. I think that is asking a lot for a friend to go along for the ride, especially when they have repeatedly shown they are going to ignore glaring red flags do what they want anyway. The guy was a giant red flag from the beginning and its been nothing but that since then. I actually think the girl needs counseling.
If anything, i agree with the dog and she she shouldn't be so involved in the roller coaster relationship anymore. If the guys own behavior hasn't caused her to see the light, I highly doubt anything JMW does will help with that. Really what's it gonna take? The guy's a complete dooooosh.
Look at it the other way. JMW is not saving A.I agree that acn't be done without A's full cooperation. JMW is just letting The Doosh know that other people are watching him.

Think of it as a boutique with lovely trinkets on the countertops on display. A bad guy wants to takle them. Hewill be less inclined to do so if the guy in the suit and tie is obviously watching his every move.

What Dog said is right. You don't abndon your friends even though as often as not some friends will chose teh guy over the buddies. No help for that.

Since: Mar 09

Miami, FL

#77621 Dec 24, 2012
Okay, I'm on a real computer now and can type better, so I'll explain my question better.:)

Last weekend, I laid it all out for A after she asked my opinion. I said everything you guys and RL friends have been telling me I need to say, and I did it in a compassionate and loving way. I was really happy with how that conversation turned out in terms of what I said and how I said it. No regrets.

My friend isn't at all dumb in a general way but she's dumb about guys. I'm not going to turn my back on her but for my own sanity, I have to get of the roller-coaster. I can't keep letting her dbag boyfriend continue to negatively affect my life. Think "Intervention" - I've said my peace (piece? not sure which it's supposed to be in this context) and now I have to back away and save myself.

So my decision about Christmas dinner comes from what's best for ME, what's going to cause ME the least amount of stress. And the thought of telling A that I'm backing out of our plans because of her boyfriend is pretty darn stressful.

I'm leaning toward going (without my dogs, though; I was originally going to bring them but I won't, so I have a legitimate reason to not stay late) because I feel like it will cause the least amount of waves right now. I can have confrontations later if necessary but it's Christmas, it's year-end at work, and I just can't put myself through the drama of backing out. A's (female) roommate will be there too so the more the merrier, so to speak. If I go, I'll make pleasantries but to PEllen's point, I'm not giving him a Q&A. I just can't do that to myself anymore.

I let A know last weekend that I'll be here for her if she needs me and I'll reiterate that if necessary, but I'm not going to keep saying the same shit over and over. We've talked about this in the context of Amby letters - if someone's not going to listen to advice, it's frustrating to keep having the same conversations. I *will* put an end to that, but timing is everything. I feel like Christmas isn't the time to draw this particular line in the sand (and her birthday is on Thursday, too) and I also don't want it to come across as an ultimatum. I'm not trying to make her choose between him and me, I just need to make it clear what MY choice is.

I talked to my mom very briefly about this yesterday (which is amazing, because she and I usually don't talk about this kind of stuff) and she said A is lucky to have me and I may save her life. I told her the part about saving her life might literally be true. As far as lucky, I feel like I'm trying really hard but there are definitely moments when I feel like a failure as a friend.

I'm sitting at work right now, in our closed office, about to get some year-end stuff done in peace. I'm about to spend my first Christmas in 8 years without Jasper. Lately I'm eating terribly and my hair is falling out. I need a break from everything and everyone, in a way.

Thanks for listening, guys, and for the advice. It's really nice to know that I can come here when I feel like I can't turn anywhere else. I know some people will skim by this War And Peace-length post and I understand, but I also know that some will read it and I appreciate that more than I can say.

Merry Christmas, for real.
:)
PEllen

Chicago, IL

#77622 Dec 24, 2012
PEllen

Chicago, IL

#77623 Dec 24, 2012
PEllen wrote:
http://www.topix.com/forum/chi cago/TR7856IP2UDKMOKNQ#lastPos t
Amy
http://www.topix.com/forum/chicago/T9MJO2IH1E...

Abby

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