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Since: Jan 10

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#74178
Oct 8, 2012
 
He wants to control who's texting her? And control who her friends are? WTF? She needs to run away in the other direction.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

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#74179
Oct 8, 2012
 
j_m_w wrote:
So my friend A came over to hang out and watch some of Monday Night Football, she just left.
On Saturday night, she was with her boyfriend and a guy she used to date texted her. It was pretty out of the blue because they would only ever exchange "hi, how are you" every few months or so. He said a bunch of stuff about wanting her back, etc. and her boyfriend had already made it clear that whenever she receives a text, he wants to know who it is and all that. So she showed him the text and her boyfriend ended up in a text conversation with this guy for an hour, taking screen shots and emailing them to himself, and then he deleted the conversation so she doesn't know what was said. THEN he made her log into Facebook and block this guy - they weren't even friends anymore but this prevents him from being able to contact her. I almost shit my pants, this sounded so scary. What should I do? For real? My friend S had a friend who had a controlling boyfriend and he ended up murdering her.
Wow. Is there something wrong with her? Does she have a self-esteem issue? It just seems so over the top to relinquish so much control so quickly and willingly.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

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#74180
Oct 8, 2012
 
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
He wants to control who's texting her? And control who her friends are? WTF? She needs to run away in the other direction.
And who she drinks with.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

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#74181
Oct 8, 2012
 
j_m_w wrote:
So my friend A came over to hang out and watch some of Monday Night Football, she just left.
On Saturday night, she was with her boyfriend and a guy she used to date texted her. It was pretty out of the blue because they would only ever exchange "hi, how are you" every few months or so. He said a bunch of stuff about wanting her back, etc. and her boyfriend had already made it clear that whenever she receives a text, he wants to know who it is and all that. So she showed him the text and her boyfriend ended up in a text conversation with this guy for an hour, taking screen shots and emailing them to himself, and then he deleted the conversation so she doesn't know what was said. THEN he made her log into Facebook and block this guy - they weren't even friends anymore but this prevents him from being able to contact her. I almost shit my pants, this sounded so scary. What should I do? For real? My friend S had a friend who had a controlling boyfriend and he ended up murdering her.
Take her out.

Get her drunk.
Text the bs bf and his best friend if you know her number with pictures and audio.

Check teh local court records to see if this guy ever had a restraining order taken out against him
Contact the old bf yourself and let him know a rescue or sanctuary might be needed.

Factor your own emotional state into what you are seeing before taking any definitive steps

Since: Mar 09

Boynton Beach, FL

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#74182
Oct 8, 2012
 
I know, you guys, I know... She needs to run, but I can't come out and tell her that or I'll lose her trust. And the last thing she needs is to feel abandoned by her friends.

Pelly, it has crossed my mind to set up a situation to force his hand and get him to end things. That sounds so horrible, but better to be dumped than beat up - or worse.

She brought me a really sweet card tonight, about life changes and friendship and love and support. She's such a caring person... she deserves someone who will treat her accordingly. My heart breaks for her.

Since: Mar 09

Boynton Beach, FL

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#74183
Oct 8, 2012
 
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>Wow. Is there something wrong with her? Does she have a self-esteem issue? It just seems so over the top to relinquish so much control so quickly and willingly.


I guess with guys she does. She's a good friend, a loyal employee, a loving member of her family... I don't get this, but it is a pattern in her dating life that I've seen.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

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#74184
Oct 8, 2012
 
PEllen wrote:
Contact the old bf yourself and let him know a rescue or sanctuary might be needed.
sanctary? i don't know where the old bf is in his desire to get back together, but its quite possible that he wanted her back under the belief that she was single. He might not want anything to do with crazy current bf drama. Seems to me it would be unfair to him to involve him in this if her only reason for involvement is to get away from crazy.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#74185
Oct 8, 2012
 
I dont get your point.
I never said the franchise was above doing stupid things, only that if I learned of it, I would cease my support. How is that analogous to your story?
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>I know someone who is an Ohio State fan. No longer lives around here. I would never here from him until right around football season. Then he would lay down a little smack. After getting their asses whupped by UF, he had a particular disdain for Urban Meyer(and all things Florida in general - the state, not the school). Then rumors began to swirl about Urban Meyer as a candidate for the head coach job. On the morning that it was announced that Urban Meyer was the new head coach, I sent him an email asking what he thought about Urban being his new coach. He apparently thought I was referring to the rumors and responded something like OSU would never hire that "scumbag" and if they did, that would be the last day he watched Buckeye football. I told him he might wanna jump online and read a paper.
Have not heard back since. I still wonder if he gave up his Buckeyes that day.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#74186
Oct 8, 2012
 
Sorry, beer,wine mix talking here...
Tell your friend that she is the best friend in the world for looking out for you, and then tell her you want to do the same.
Normal relationships are not built upon suspicion
Normal relationships are not about control
Normal relationships do not mean you stop being who your are
etc. etc. etc.
Maybe it will be what you need to take your focus off of your own troubles and help someone who really does have problems!
Love ya honey!
j_m_w wrote:
I know, you guys, I know... She needs to run, but I can't come out and tell her that or I'll lose her trust. And the last thing she needs is to feel abandoned by her friends.
Pelly, it has crossed my mind to set up a situation to force his hand and get him to end things. That sounds so horrible, but better to be dumped than beat up - or worse.
She brought me a really sweet card tonight, about life changes and friendship and love and support. She's such a caring person... she deserves someone who will treat her accordingly. My heart breaks for her.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

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#74187
Oct 8, 2012
 
RACE wrote:
I dont get your point.
I never said the franchise was above doing stupid things, only that if I learned of it, I would cease my support. How is that analogous to your story?
<quoted text>
no point really. but it is an analagous tangent. you said you'd stop being a fan if they traded for someone like vick. guy i know issued a similar statement reguarding hiring urban meyer. just curious as to whether he followed thru.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

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#74188
Oct 9, 2012
 

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

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#74189
Oct 9, 2012
 

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j_m_w wrote:
<quoted text>
I guess with guys she does. She's a good friend, a loyal employee, a loving member of her family... I don't get this, but it is a pattern in her dating life that I've seen.
Stay out of other people's drama. Share your opinion and offer her support but she's gonna make her own decisions.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

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#74190
Oct 9, 2012
 
i'm pissed off. every other day there's a story like this. where were they when i was in school?

http://www.complex.com/sports/2012/10/the-cin...

Since: Mar 09

United States

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#74191
Oct 9, 2012
 
RACE wrote:
Sorry, beer,wine mix talking here...
Tell your friend that she is the best friend in the world for looking out for you, and then tell her you want to do the same.
Normal relationships are not built upon suspicion
Normal relationships are not about control
Normal relationships do not mean you stop being who your are
etc. etc. etc.
Maybe it will be what you need to take your focus off of your own troubles and help someone who really does have problems!
Love ya honey!
<quoted text>
Thanks. This is solid. Imagine how great your advice would be if you were sober!
;)

Since: Mar 09

United States

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#74192
Oct 9, 2012
 
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Stay out of other people's drama. Share your opinion and offer her support but she's gonna make her own decisions.
I don't want to be part of the drama... but I've never been truly afraid for a friend before like I am now.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

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#74193
Oct 9, 2012
 

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j_m_w wrote:
<quoted text>
Thanks. This is solid. Imagine how great your advice would be if you were sober!
;)
What would the Beatles have been like without the LSD during the later years? Boring. What would Jim Morrison's poetic rock songs be like if he wasn't stoned while writing? Think of Sid Barrett era Pink Floyd without the crazy.

Beer is race's creative spark.

Since: Mar 09

United States

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#74194
Oct 9, 2012
 
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>What would the Beatles have been like without the LSD during the later years? Boring. What would Jim Morrison's poetic rock songs be like if he wasn't stoned while writing? Think of Sid Barrett era Pink Floyd without the crazy.
Beer is race's creative spark.
You're right, and after I hit post I wished I would've said: drinking makes you brilliant!
:)

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

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#74195
Oct 9, 2012
 
That's messed up, Jam. But I think that if she told you this, you have the right to dole out advice. I think she absolutely knows it's wrong, but hearing it from someone else might validate that.

Who *are* these guys and why do they think this stuff is okay?

“Licensed to Ill”

Since: Aug 08

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#74196
Oct 9, 2012
 
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>Stay out of other people's drama. Share your opinion and offer her support but she's gonna make her own decisions.
I'm sorry, babe. Do we get a volvo discount?

“Licensed to Ill”

Since: Aug 08

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#74197
Oct 9, 2012
 
Matilda77 wrote:
That's messed up, Jam. But I think that if she told you this, you have the right to dole out advice. I think she absolutely knows it's wrong, but hearing it from someone else might validate that.

Who *are* these guys and why do they think this stuff is okay?
I think she should say something too. The guy sounds like a total nut job.

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