Topix Chitown Regulars

[NWmoon]

RedheadwGlasses wrote:

<quoted text>
Dear Prudence was a much better column when it was written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers's daughter. Very much not judgy.

She's still doing one.
http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/a-s...

[edogxxx]

Amy

http://www.topix.com/forum/chicago/TN9QOSG3FN...

Abby

http://www.topix.com/forum/chicago/TPAJ35AS2B...

[Sublime1]

PEllen wrote:

I have a question for the guys in the wake of the Sandusky verdict.
How prevalent is it that older men in leadership positions actually make sexual overtures to the kids?
As a girl growing up in the 50's I never saw or heard anything.Not even about priests to stay away from, and in Chicago there were a great many clerics. As a young adult in the 70's, I never heard stuff . I didn't think I was naive or sheltered.
I had some guy sit next to me in the movies when I was maybe 12 who was masturbating but that's it.
Does the Sandusky/priest stuff happen often?

I never had anything close to that happen to me. So, I don't know how prevalent that is.

[squishymama]

Sam I Am wrote:

So I just got a neat offer. If I want I can recruit a few friends to work a beer tent with me at Lollapalooza. We have to do all three days, but we are near the Red Bull Sound Stage where RHCP, The Temper Trap, At The Drive In and Jack White will be playing. We get $750, plus all we can drink after the shows, plus the outfit running the beer tents throws a big bash a couple weeks later.

You should go for it. I wish I could volunteer to help; I love me some Anthony Kiedis.

My husband's non-profit arts group gets the beer concession at Pitchfork, and although it can be hard work, he always seems to have a good time.

Just wear shoes that you don't care about anymore.

[squishymama]

Sublime1 wrote:

<quoted text>
I never had anything close to that happen to me. So, I don't know how prevalent that is.

I meant to reply to PEllen too, but I must have gotten distracted.

I know she only asked the guys, but I did have a couple guy friends in high school that were witness to an older boy scout forcing a younger one to perform some sexual acts on him. The one friend who sort of turned the whole story into a stand-up-like routine said the older boy sat on the younger and "inserted Tab A into Slot B."

I was horrified that my friends did nothing to help this kid, not even tell the adults. They were pretty self-centered, so I guess I shouldn't have been to surprised.

[squishymama]

too surprised, dangit!

[Sublime1]

squishymama wrote:

<quoted text>
I meant to reply to PEllen too, but I must have gotten distracted.
I know she only asked the guys, but I did have a couple guy friends in high school that were witness to an older boy scout forcing a younger one to perform some sexual acts on him. The one friend who sort of turned the whole story into a stand-up-like routine said the older boy sat on the younger and "inserted Tab A into Slot B."
I was horrified that my friends did nothing to help this kid, not even tell the adults. They were pretty self-centered, so I guess I shouldn't have been to surprised.

I don't know anyone who would sit and witness that. I wouldn't even want to be around that if it were consensual. If it were non-consensual, the guy would get the crap kicked out of him.

[PEllen]

Not to be too graphic but from one side doesn't the perp risk either triggering the gag reflex causing vomit or be at risk for biting?
On the other end, don't you have to position things for accessibility?

[squishymama]

Sublime1 wrote:

<quoted text>
I don't know anyone who would sit and witness that. I wouldn't even want to be around that if it were consensual. If it were non-consensual, the guy would get the crap kicked out of him.

Part of me thinks they were glad it wasn't happening to them and part of me thinks they enjoyed watching this kid get tortured. Like I said, the one guy turned it into a funny story that he used to entertain people. He is a total self-absorbed a-hole that I won't even friend on FB.

[squishymama]

PEllen wrote:

Not to be too graphic but from one side doesn't the perp risk either triggering the gag reflex causing vomit or be at risk for biting?
On the other end, don't you have to position things for accessibility?

He just sat on this kid's belly until he couldn't breathe. And the kid was so terrified that he probably didn't even think to bite.

[squishymama]

To give you another example of how much an azz this story-teller friend was:

He was one of my youth group leaders. We were sophomores, they were seniors. On one retreat, up in Michigan by the lake, they took us on a trust walk. We were blindfolded and all hung on to one rope while they lead us around the woods. They told us when to step up, step down, duck, etc. Well, this guy would tell us to duck when, to my very sensitive ears, I could tell there was nothing around us and then laugh.

No surprise really, that he didn't stop someone molesting a fellow boy scout.

[Sublime1]

squishymama wrote:

<quoted text>
Part of me thinks they were glad it wasn't happening to them and part of me thinks they enjoyed watching this kid get tortured. Like I said, the one guy turned it into a funny story that he used to entertain people. He is a total self-absorbed a-hole that I won't even friend on FB.

Yeah, growing up being gay wasn't cool. I'm pretty sure if stuff like that happened, you'd be teased mercilessly or at least ostracized, if not reported, which I would hope. Word would definitely get around too.

[Mister Tonka]

squishymama wrote:

<quoted text>
I meant to reply to PEllen too, but I must have gotten distracted.
I know she only asked the guys, but I did have a couple guy friends in high school that were witness to an older boy scout forcing a younger one to perform some sexual acts on him. The one friend who sort of turned the whole story into a stand-up-like routine said the older boy sat on the younger and "inserted Tab A into Slot B."
I was horrified that my friends did nothing to help this kid, not even tell the adults. They were pretty self-centered, so I guess I shouldn't have been to surprised.

I've never witnessed any kind of sexual impropriety.

[RedheadwGlasses]

Of course you guys didn't witness any sexual shenanigans. This stuff takes place behind closed doors, typically after the kid has been groomed over time. And the kids aren't going to tell -- a 12yo boy knows the shit he'll get at school if they find out he sucked the dick of a priest.

The secrecy is key.

[cycle003]

Mister Tonka wrote:

<quoted text>Why would you categorize the parents of her "good friend" as someone she barely knows? Money or no money, my kid's not going away for 4 days with someone she barely knows. Apparently they did not know these people as well aas they initially thought.

Oh, I just got to this. Even though we've had some families whose kids my daughter plays with over to our house, I wouldn't say we really know them. I would say that we barely know them. I don't know if they keep their dead grandma stuffed in the basement or if they voted Republican ;) Seriously, though, my parents didn't really know my friends' parents very well growing up, especially the older I got.

[Aisle Sitter]

Pelly, my brother resisted my mom's suggestiosn to join the HS swim team, never really gave a reason, but was consistent and at times adamant enough that she finally dropped it. years later, the coahc was arrested... it was widely enough known that the guy did "swim suit checks" adn was otherwise kinda not right (couldn't necessarily put their fingers on it but knew "that boy ain't right"). my mom looked back and kinda felt bad for (a) pushing the idea so mych and (b) not really askign more quesitons.

[itser]

cycle003 wrote:

<quoted text>
Oh, I just got to this. Even though we've had some families whose kids my daughter plays with over to our house, I wouldn't say we really know them. I would say that we barely know them. I don't know if they keep their dead grandma stuffed in the basement or if they voted Republican ;) Seriously, though, my parents didn't really know my friends' parents very well growing up, especially the older I got.

But did you ever go away with them for several days?
My mom wouldn't let me spend the night at anyone's house until she had been there and met everyone in the family - at least until I was in junior high or so. I can't imagine she would have let me leave town with people she didn't know well. Of course, she also would NEVER have sent me off with anyone without money of my own.

And my mom was, for the most part, a very uninvolved parent. I think it's very odd that LW did that.

[Mister Tonka]

Heh. Technology rocks. My wife had an interview for a different position at her company today. I called to ask her how it went. She was excited that I even remembered.
Yup. Of course I remembered. Me and google calendar reminders on my smart phone.

:)

[Sam I Am]

RedheadwGlasses wrote:

<quoted text>
$750 each? Or all of you for working three days.

Each. Getting paid to serve beer while watching a fun crowd and hearing all the music for free = fun for me.

[cycle003]

itser wrote:

I think it's very odd that LW did that.

That's what I'm saying.

itser wrote:

<quoted text>
But did you ever go away with them for several days?

I don't remember doing anything like that, but I'm suggesting that the mom didn't know the other family very well. Otherwise, she might have known better. So my original point (I think) was about how the mom could let the girl go with some people she barely knew without much money or checking in regularly.