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46,001 - 46,020 of 97,938 Comments Last updated 8 hrs ago

“Unions = Thugs”

Since: Mar 11

Johnston City, IL

#46415 Mar 31, 2011
Whenever I come to Chicago, I'm amazed at how the Mexicans have taken over.....my friends in Chicago (and very fitting) call it Mexico City North.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#46416 Mar 31, 2011
Matilda77 wrote:
<quoted text>
I fear the day I announce I'm pregnant, if we decide to have kids at all. She's got serious boundary issues, and I feel like it's gonna turn me in to a raging b1tch toward her.
Bar her from the maternity ward. I had to do something quote close to that to my mother.

Are J and SIL their only 2 kids?

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#46417 Mar 31, 2011
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text> Now go learn what a dutch oven is.
You guys already taught me about that, thanks

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#46418 Mar 31, 2011
Matilda77 wrote:
<quoted text>
I'll have to look in to that.
That holds true in the school districts near me which is different from Squishy's.

She would start the school year in her regular HS and then she could "move " her address to your house but be allowed to remain in her original school. Check out the requirements though. If it gets screwed up she could be expelled or someone would have to pay tuition to her current school as an out of district student.

We are in New Trier's district which is a sought after school. This stuff happens regularly up here.

The tuition for an out of district student in Squishy's district used to be over $10,000 per year. Not chump change

“bELieve”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#46419 Mar 31, 2011
squishymama wrote:
<quoted text>
Our school district a thing called permissive transfer that would kick in if a child moves in the middle of a school year. That allows them to finish the year at their current school. The school district should have a website with that kind of stuff spelled out. If they have a program like that, then she could wait until school starts again, then "officially" move to your place. It seems like your MIL might not play along for a full year of pretending SIL is living with her.
That is what I was going to say. Senior year has lots of stuff going on and even though most things are available online and/or brought home by the student, things will still be mailed home and you don't want your SIL to miss anything that your MIL might decide to hold ransom. Also, wait until the school year has already started and talk to the principal and/or superintendent. If J and your SIL explain the situation at home, they should be more than willing to work with you.

“bELieve”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#46420 Mar 31, 2011
Oh, and Matilda, I think you are awesome :)

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#46421 Mar 31, 2011
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>
Bar her from the maternity ward. I had to do something quote close to that to my mother.
Are J and SIL their only 2 kids?
Oh, and I will. She'll spin it so that everyone is focused on her and not me. Not that I'm an attention seeking person generally, but in that instance...

J and SIL are half sibs, same mother. J has three, possibly four other sibs by his dad. He met one a while back, but otherwise no contact with any of them. SIL has two, possibly three sibs by her dad. She's FB friends with one of them (she's roughly our age, and she spent a few summers with J when they were growing up), but no contact with the other(s). SIL also had a twin brother who was stillborn.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#46422 Mar 31, 2011
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>That holds true in the school districts near me which is different from Squishy's.
She would start the school year in her regular HS and then she could "move " her address to your house but be allowed to remain in her original school. Check out the requirements though. If it gets screwed up she could be expelled or someone would have to pay tuition to her current school as an out of district student.
We are in New Trier's district which is a sought after school. This stuff happens regularly up here.
The tuition for an out of district student in Squishy's district used to be over $10,000 per year. Not chump change
I'm hoping they're not as stringent about it here. There's three high schools for Bloomington-Normal and they're all pretty close academically and whatnot. I don't get the vibe that there's a *good* school over the others.

I'm from the south burbs and they came to my parent's doorstep when I was a freshman to make sure I lived there. We had a LOOOOT of Chicago kids giving a relative's address to get in to the suburban schools.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#46423 Mar 31, 2011
Kayze wrote:
Why does Topix think I am in Chicago but I am not in Chicago?
I'm surprised it doesn't think you are in Poland. <rim shot>

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#46425 Mar 31, 2011
But you are in chicago, you just dont know it yet
Kayze wrote:
Why does Topix think I am in Chicago but I am not in Chicago?

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#46426 Mar 31, 2011
Matilda77 wrote:
I'm from the south burbs and they came to my parent's doorstep when I was a freshman to make sure I lived there. We had a LOOOOT of Chicago kids giving a relative's address to get in to the suburban schools.
I hear that my south suburban high school has been "overrun" (to quote my mom) by city kids who've come to live relatives because the city schools are so bad and my high school is so good. She says it's not so good anymore.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#46427 Mar 31, 2011
squishymama wrote:
<quoted text>
I hear that my south suburban high school has been "overrun" (to quote my mom) by city kids who've come to live relatives because the city schools are so bad and my high school is so good. She says it's not so good anymore.
That is where my high school is at now. Used to be the *good* school in the area. We regularly had graduates going on to really good colleges. Now, just 15 years since I graduated, it's in the bottom 5% of Illinois high schools. Woot for the value of my dad's house plummeting. Anyone who can afford to go private does.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#46428 Mar 31, 2011
Jess in NJ wrote:
Oh, and Matilda, I think you are awesome :)
Thanks, Jess. I do lose patience here and there, but I'm trying to do my part to get the three of us through this in one piece, ha!

“It made sense at the time....”

Since: May 09

Schaumburg, IL

#46429 Mar 31, 2011
To PEllen's point about running from things instead of facing them head-on, i don't see that Matilda's SIL is running FROM somthing but running TO stability, health & support. From what i remember, SIL isn't catching as many colds or other hypochondria, her school attendence and grades are up, and it sounds like she's getting more and better attention with M & J... If SIL were living with M&J and NOT "improving", then yes, time for a convo on facing challenges/things.

Sucky though it may be, matilda, is there a way you can check with a family lawyer on this to make sure that everything works out ok, especially for insurance, schools, permission slips, etc., for hte next year or so?

“Joy is the shadow cast by pain”

Since: Dec 08

Twin Cities, MN

#46430 Mar 31, 2011
MIL isn't *entitled* to have her daughter live with her, IMHO.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#46431 Mar 31, 2011
Matilda77 wrote:
<quoted text>
I'm hoping they're not as stringent about it here. There's three high schools for Bloomington-Normal and they're all pretty close academically and whatnot. I don't get the vibe that there's a *good* school over the others.
I'm from the south burbs and they came to my parent's doorstep when I was a freshman to make sure I lived there. We had a LOOOOT of Chicago kids giving a relative's address to get in to the suburban schools.
As I understand it, the school gets funding from the state based on where a student is attending. Not only does the better school have a higher number of kids in class, but the less desirable school gets that much less money.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#46432 Mar 31, 2011
AngelaMN wrote:
MIL isn't *entitled* to have her daughter live with her, IMHO.
I am not sure you are right about that, Angela. Under the age of majority a parent has custody of a child and is responsible for food clothing shelter medical care. It is a big thing for a parent to lose custody. Custody more or less means the kid lives with you.

Parents are given tons of latitude to do what they want with or to their kids and they can impose that unless it reaches the stage of child abuse.

I think that if MIL wanted to push hard, she could get SIL forced to move back with her. Then you get into whether SIL is emancipated etc.

Matilda said the IL's are on aid or disability. I wonder if their monthly payments include a stipend for having custody of a minor child?

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#46433 Mar 31, 2011
It also occurred to me that given MIL pattern of behavior, blame etc that she might be "saving" her complaints for later to lob back against J and Matilda when SIL is of age and it is too late to force her to come home, or, put another way, when there is no risk that SIL will return home.

There certainly are people who store up slights and complain mightily for years on end.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#46434 Mar 31, 2011
PEllen wrote:
It also occurred to me that given MIL pattern of behavior, blame etc that she might be "saving" her complaints for later to lob back against J and Matilda when SIL is of age and it is too late to force her to come home, or, put another way, when there is no risk that SIL will return home.
There certainly are people who store up slights and complain mightily for years on end.
Oh, that's a guarantee. The woman can twist a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g anyone says to make herself look like the victim.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#46435 Mar 31, 2011
Aisle Sitter wrote:
To PEllen's point about running from things instead of facing them head-on, i don't see that Matilda's SIL is running FROM somthing but running TO stability, health & support. From what i remember, SIL isn't catching as many colds or other hypochondria, her school attendence and grades are up, and it sounds like she's getting more and better attention with M & J... If SIL were living with M&J and NOT "improving", then yes, time for a convo on facing challenges/things.
Sucky though it may be, matilda, is there a way you can check with a family lawyer on this to make sure that everything works out ok, especially for insurance, schools, permission slips, etc., for hte next year or so?
It's very much self-preservation on her part. J moved out a month after he turned 18. I see what Pellen meant though--we three have to set up new boundaries for her after SIL's out of her control. We're going to have to face her and provide a united front and be like "Look--you're not going to drag us in to your drama every day."

We'll know more after the kiddo turns 17, I think. If she says she's not going home, we're going to have a discussion and start moving forward from there. One week, exactly, on the 7th. She was born just days after Kurt Cobain died...I am so frigging old. ;-)

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