I appreciate that, but the "crucial stabilizing factor" is just as crucial and just as stabilizing for us.<quoted text>
My brother-in-law is gay. He lives in California and works in a bank. Just got promoted and has a good job.
You'd never know he was gay if you started talking to him on the street.
His partner of 15 years died of AIDS years ago and he has been with his new partner for the last 10.
He is as loved now as he was before the family knew he was gay. Maybe even more just because he felt he had to keep it a secret for so long.
Some of my favorite people I've known personally and some I like on television are gay.
Back in the late 1960s, a very good high school friend of mine school confided in me about the pain he was going through because he was gay. No one EVER talked about being gay back then. It was painful for me too because he was such a great person. I was so sad he was going through something like like that alone.
So it's not about not accepting or loving gays for those of us who do but happen to believe to our core that the ageless definition of marriage is a crucial stabilzing factor in society and mustn't be tampered with.
But I'm glad you finally found peace and are no longer suffering alone. I hope my friend Danny eventually did too.
And if you think you're going to treat gay people differently, then you need to raise your kids differently (honestly.)
You can't tell your sons what my mother told me, "Someday you'll grow up and meet a girl and get married and have kids and a house, etc..."
You'll have to qualify it and say to that five year old son: "Unless you're gay. Then you don't get to get married."
My mother didn't tell me that part. So here's how it goes.
I grow up a bright, white Christian male, altar boy, etc.- told to my face by teachers that I had every advantage in the world and better take advantage of that.
Then I start to grow up, realize these feelings are there, and suddenly I don't have every advantage anymore - and I didn't do anything to deserve that. Also, there goes the get married and have a family thing. Gee, what is there to look forward to? Why bother?
Let me tell you, that is a lot on a little kid. My adult brain could navigate, but as a kid, it's not so clear-cut. It's frightening. It makes no sense. It makes you think you are being punished for something (but what?) You buy into this crap you hear from people like this NJ guy, which makes it worse. You think it will go away or you can fix it or change it. You think if you pray hard enough, God will take it away. No, He won't.
So eventually, after going through so much I can't even explain it here, you come out on the other side of your world being turned upside down and you go...OK. So it won't be a woman. That doesn't mean I'll be alone. That doesn't mean I won't have someone to love and care for each other until we die. That doesn't mean kids are out of the question. And you stabilize.
And after going through all that - I don't need people who didn't go through that trying to tell me what's right for me, or that my marriage is some kind of problem for them. Bullsh!t. Get out of my way.