It's more like you sh it that bed and slept face down in it.<quoted text>
You know, Lily, on the one hand I can at least understand their starting point, because I started out in the same place, having been taught the same things.
The difference is, when I turned 12, I was FORCED to begin examining it more deeply. I didn't have the luxury of reading one line in a bible, assuming that was the final word, and then snapping my fingers and turning straight.
However, the story is kind of sad, because I was a bright kid with a lot of potential and an unusual interest in God/religion at a young age. I have felt close to God most of my life.
But because of things I was told, I wasted some great years of my life scared, and desperately trying to change something that couldn't be changed (and had no reason to be changed.)
Imagine an innocent 12 year old kid, crying in his bed, praying every day for God to "give me something else." If He had to give me some kind of challenge, I prayed for Him to "break my legs instead." Twelve years old. I should have been blissfully enjoying childhood. But because of things these kinds of ignorant idiots walk around carelessly saying, I tortured myself for the next 12 years.
So let me make it perfectly clear: if anybody COULD change their sexual orientation, it would have been me. No one has ever prayed more, harder, and for more years for something that never happened. Other prayers were addressed, but not that one. It made no sense - until I realized that one prayer was my one contradiction in praying for what *I* wanted instead of for whatever was in God's plan for me.
People think I twist things to justify being gay. It was quite the opposite. I spent 12 years doing anything I could to avoid even acknowledging to myself that I was gay. I didn't permit myself to act on it until I could reconcile it with God. And He helped me through it, no thanks to these hypocrites who claim to represent Him here in this world.
None of these loose-lipped idiots will ever put what I have put into this question, but this NJ ahole thinks he can tell ME what God wants, and thinks he can tell ME how I was born, and thinks he can tell ME what I deserve under the law. Bullsh!t.
We are fighting for our families. They are fighting for prejudice. It's no contest. It's a short matter of time, and all these ignorant idiots don't matter anymore.
The inhalation is what probably screwed you up.