You need to quit listening to batchitcrazy drunken lunaTics, they'll warp your braincells with their lies of dysfunctionality and deception Homer.<quoted text>You need to get out of your meth lab more often.
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#883384 Apr 3, 2013
#883385 Apr 3, 2013
Common Beliefs of Today's Liberal
You are against the War on Terror, but are only too happy to make millions of dollars by making movies about it.
You preach about the evils of Capitalism from the comfort of your weekend hillside estate.
You cry about the evils of "profiteering corporations", but still demand your weekly paycheck.
You believe "rich people" are evil, but are willing to over-look the fact that Ted Kennedy, Bill Clinton, George Soros, Michael Moore, and Al Franken are "rich", as well.
You scream and shout when innocent civilians are accidentally caught in the crossfire, but remain silent when terrorists kill them on purpose.
You believe that civilians caught in the crossfire of terrorists attacking American troops died because of America and not because of the actions of the terrorists that actually killed them.
You believe O.J. Simpson is actually looking for the "real killers".
You claim a higher moral ground in opposing the death penalty but see abortion as an expression of Women's Rights as guaranteed in the Constitution.
You believe that with regards to the 9/11 attack, America had it comming and deserved what happened.
You believe American troops are "war criminals", but a thug who killed somebody in cold blood is just a "victim of society".
You believe you can give a dollar to somebody without first having to take it from somebody else.
You want to ban and outlaw legal gun ownership but you want to be allowed to have armed guards at your beckon call.
#883386 Apr 3, 2013
You believe Ted Kennedy knows how to manage your money better than you do.
You believe Saddam Hussein, Kim Jong Il, and Fidel Castro were fairly elected, but President Bush was not.
You fail to see the connection between Lenin and Lennon.
You believe "tolerance" is reserved for those who share your opinions, views, and ideals.
You believe the name of God or Jesus should be banned and censored, except when spoken in profanity.
You believe it was wrong for Bush to use images of 9/11 in political ads, but saw nothing wrong with Kerry using flag-draped caskets in his ads.
You refuse to allow a child to carry a Bible to school, but demand that schools make special provisions to accommodate a non-Christian's religious beliefs.
You whine about religious leaders and their involvement in politics, but only when the Reverend's name is Robertson... not Jackson or Sharpton.
You support Judges who interpret what they "think" the Constitution means instead of what it actually says.
You believe the meaning and definition of the Constitution should change based on your own feelings or opinions.
You believe that burning the American Flag is a form of Free Speech and any law that prevents burning the American Flag is an assault on your right to express yourself.
You constantly cry about defense spending, but scream when bases in your areas are closed.
#883387 Apr 3, 2013
FOR YEARS I have agreed with the (oft times which has been more a more Rep leaning idealogy) precept of to hell with middle east oil. we should become more self reliant.
But noooooooooo, the jackboots on the other side just have not been able to absorb THAT concept as of yet.
KEYSTONE?(listen to the treehumpers WHINE)....
#883388 Apr 3, 2013
This might be a tough question, do you believe in the concept if rights?
#883389 Apr 3, 2013
You believe Greenpeace and the Earth Liberation Front burning down SUV dealerships or torching chemical plants actually "help" and are "beneficial" to the environment.
You support low-income housing until they start to build in your neighborhood.
You claim to support alternative and green energy until one of your neighbors decide to erect a wind generator and then you begin legal proceedings against him and force him to remove it.
You believe the term "illegal alien" is a bad word and is racist in nature.
You believe Michael Moore's films are "historically accurate and unbiased".
You believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.
You believe a baby is an "Unviable Tissue Mass" suitable for abortion until after the baby is born, then the baby needs Universal Healthcare provided by the government so as to live a long and healthy life.
You believe abstinence does not prevent unwanted pregnancy and the spread of sexually transmitted diseases and condoms do.
You believe that art is not possible without Federal funding.
You believe the only thing wrong with the forged Rather Memo, was people refused to accept it as fact.
You believe girls should be allowed to go to an all-boy school, but not the other way around.
You believe that no judge is remotely qualified to be on the United States Supreme Court unless they are pro-abortion.
YOU ARE WORSE THAN terrorist killING innocent people,BECAUSE YOU KILL INNOCENTS BABIES ABORTION!
YOU PEOPLE ARE VERY WICKED!
#883390 Apr 3, 2013
You support welfare, free healthcare, and other entitlements for illegal immigrants who do not pay taxes.
You believe Fox News distorts the truth, but Dan Rather reports "honest journalism".
You were speechless and felt a sense of betrayal when Martin Sheen guest starred on "Murphy Brown" as novelist Nick Brody.
You complain that we never give peace a chance.
When asked about your favorite Marx Brother, the first one to come to mind is Karl.
You believe NPR is the only really fair and balanced news source.
You believe that the term in the Preamble to the United States Constitution "promote the general Welfare" is a mandate to provide welfare benefits and entitlements.
You believe race riots are an acceptable and reasonable form of expression.
You believe racial hatred is wrong, but "class hatred" is acceptable.
You believe that every misbehaving child has ADD and needs to be doped-up on Ritalin.
You believe lawsuits that deny any personal responsibility on the part of the plaintiff is justified.
You believe there is nothing wrong with Socialism and Communism.
You believe the best way to deal with terrorist regimes is to please and appease them.
You are opposed to a military presence in Europe, unless it is to bail out France.
#883391 Apr 3, 2013
You believe that Gay Marriage is normal and the public should be forced to accept it.
You would rather defend Marx, Lenin, Stalin, Saddam and Castro before you defend the US.
You believe violent gun-crime would automatically disappear if honest citizens could not bear arms.
You constantly equate Conservatives to Nazis or Fascists as your defense whenever anyone dissents against your position on anything.
You believe 1 + 1 = 2, or 3, or 4... or whatever it takes to protect the child's self-esteem.
You believe that pornography should be federally protected as "Freedom of Speech", but public profession of Faith should be outlawed.
You applaud Jimmy Carter for talking about Human Rights, but screamed and shouted when President Bush actually did something about it.
You believe we should have given Saddam 12 more years, and then 12 more on top of that, if he did not comply by then.
You believe the UN should be the final authority, even in the U.S.
You believe that colleges and universities should not allow ROTC programs.
You believe that the Boy Scouts should be banned.
You believe that racism and poverty are the primary causes of violent crime in the inner city rather than a lack of values taught by a father.
You believe that an 80 year old white American grandmother is just as likely to be a terrorist as a Saudi young male.
You believe that socializing medical will lower costs and improve quality, but limiting malpractice lawsuits will not.
You believe that Government exists to provide whatever the public wants.
You believe that it is morally wrong that low income parents should be allowed to have vouchers to send their children to private schools.
#883392 Apr 3, 2013
You believe if a person makes more than $50,000/year, then he/she is probably doing something illegal, unethical, and/or immoral.
You believe being able to play the President on a popular TV drama automatically equates to "political wisdom" in real life.
You scream and shout about Christians ramming their beliefs upon you, but you say nothing when Atheists do the same.
You believe it was "un-ethical" for Bush to accept campaign donations from the NRA, but not when Clinton accepted campaign donations on behalf of the Communist Chinese government.
You believe if somebody disagrees with what is being said, they are challenging or denying your Right of Free Speech.
You believe that poverty is caused by the wealthy.
You believe the ACLU really gives a damn about individual rights.
You believe the Dixie Chicks and Tim Robbins should say what they want, but Bill O'Reilly, Sean Hannity, and Rush Limbaugh should be censored.
You believe burning the American Flag, dragging the American Flag on the ground, defacing the American Flag, and ridiculing members of the Armed Forces as an example of exercising Free Speech is the highest level of patriotism.
You protested American intervention in the Middle-East, because we did not have UN approval, but supported American intervention in Haiti, Somalia, and Bosnia, even though we did not have UN approval.
You screamed and shouted when Arnold Schwarzenegger allegedly groped women, but cheered when Bill Clinton did the same.
You are against sexual harassment except when committed by a Kennedy or a Clinton.
You object to little old ladies wearing fur, but not bikers wearing leather.
You believe that Microsoft should be broken up into many small companies.
#883393 Apr 3, 2013
You believe the government should require all automobiles to get 40 mpg and SUVs should be outlawed or taxed.
You believe that gas prices should match the price of $6.00/gal in Europe yet complain about the oil companies' excessive profits when gas prices hit $3.00/gal in California.
You believe President Bush is too dumb to be President and Arnold Schwarzenegger is too dumb to be Governor of California, but the Dixie Chicks, Martin Sheen, Alec Baldwin, Barbra Streisand, Eddie Vedder and Jeanine Garofalo are qualified experts on foreign policy.
You believe Saddam had WMDs when Clinton was in office, but all of the sudden, did not have them when Bush was in office.
You believe that peace in the Middle East can only be achieved once Israel is wiped off the map.
You believe the Bible is racist, sexist, and homophobic, but the Koran should be required reading.
You consider the Catholic bishops noble and idealistic when they oppose capital punishment and welfare cuts but dangerous fanatics when trying to promote pro-life.
You believe a lawyer taking 33% from a settlement for his services is fair, but the Government taking 33% of your paycheck for taxes is "too low".
You find Christianity and anything relating to it offensive, but you are completely open-minded to Witchcraft, the Occult, Mysticism, etc...
You believe having an open-mind means being "pro-Gay", "pro-Abortion", "anti-Christian", "anti-Business", and "anti-Conservative".
You only see white people and Jews as racists.
You believe that tax cuts hurt poor people and are uncompassionate but taking 35% from their paychecks is compassionate.
You believe that posting the "Ten Commandments" in schools will hurt children, but promoting homosexuality and paganism "helps" children.
#883394 Apr 3, 2013
You believe that counseling, therapy, and understanding is the answer to ANY crime no matter how heinous or serious.
You only watch "All In The Family", because Meathead made so much sense.
You believe Rush Limbaugh and Michael Reagan are mean spirited racists and promote hate crime but Maxine Waters, John Conyers and Louis Farrakhan are not and do not.
You believe that Doctors should be made into government bureaucrats, but that lawyers should not.
You believe O.J. Simpson is actually innocent, but that Bernard Goetz is not.
You would have supported the war in Iraq, if Clinton or Gore was President.
You are against censorship unless it is censoring race, Christianity, Conservatism, Western culture, Rush Limbaugh, or Ann Coulter.
#883395 Apr 3, 2013
You make snide remarks about guys who look at women, but champion Clinton's right to do whatever he wants with his interns.
You believe that the four policemen who beat Rodney King should have been thrown in jail forever, but the four thugs who beat Reginald Denny are victims of society and should only receive a slap on the wrist.
You get mad when a rape victims' sexual history is plastered all over the news media, but demand Paula Jones' sexual history "must be made public".
You hear a news report of a man beat nearly to death because he is a minority or gay and you rally about punishing the bigot who committed the terrible act BUT, if you hear a news report of a man beat nearly to death for his money, and you start talking about the poor disadvantaged person who is forced to commit such acts to survive.
You believe that pouring blood on a $1,500 fur coat is a sure-fire way to get your message across, but if anyone protests outside an abortion clinic, they are the extremists exhibiting a dangerous Right-Wing agenda meant to violate the rights of women.
You believe that the only way the tragedy at Columbine could have been avoided was to outlaw legal, private gun ownership.
You believe hunters do not care about the environment, but wacky Seattle folks who have never stepped foot outside of their local Starbucks, do.
You believe it takes a village, instead of parents, to raise a child.
You believe that it is not in the best interest of a child to be in a two parent home with a Mother and a Father that are married to each other.
You believe that a Father is not necessary in the upbringing of a child but a Mother is.
You believe that America does not have a culture of its own and is merely a collection of cultures that should maintain their own individualities.
You believe that abortion is an acceptable and legitimate form of birth control.
You believe that English should not be the official language of America.
You believe tolerance of your opinions and acceptance of your opinions is the same.
You believe that doctors are over-paid, but ambulance-chasing lawyers are not.
You believe that Celebrities and other media icons have the right to Free Speech and those who agree with them have the right to "Freedom of Speech", but those who dare to disagree with them do not have that rights and should be heavily censored.
You slam Arnold Schwarzenegger for his father having alleged ties to the Nazi when you have a known and un-apologetic Klansman and public anti-Semite in your own company (Sen. Byrd).
You believe Arnold Schwarzenegger should not be in politics because he is "just a celebrity", but you would have endorsed Martin Sheen, Sean Penn and company based on that sole criterion.
You scream and shout over alleged "violence" in Mel Gibson's "The Passion of the Christ", yet you ran to see "Kill Bill", "Freddy VS. Jason", "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and say nothing about the violence portrayed in those movies.
#883396 Apr 3, 2013
You believe the Liberal Hollywood Elite can say or do no wrong and should be treated as such.
You believe a child who is quietly and privately saying Grace before a meal at school constitutes the child ramming his/her beliefs upon others.
You turn a blind eye to the suicide bombings at the hands of radical fanatics, but condemn Israel and the Western World for wanting to keep their people safe from Terrorism.
You believe if Sean Penn or Martin Sheen said so, it should be revered as Holy Scripture.
You cheered and applauded when Clinton stated he "smoked pot but never inhaled" and at the same time, screamed and shouted when Rush Limbaugh admitted to being addicted to LEGALLY OBTAINED MEDICATION.
You believe "Freedom of Speech" is reserved for those who believe as you do and it is your duty and moral right to ridicule anyone and issue personal attacks and insults if they have dissenting opinions to your own.
You ban the Bible in schools because of the Separation of Church and State, then welcome Islamic and New-Age, and other religion teachings in the same school.
You believe every problem can be solved by simply throwing money at it.
You believe more taxes are an economic cure-all.
You believe Al Gore won the 2000 election.
You believe in the "Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy".
You believe that a violent crime is committed with a gun, it is the existence of the gun itself, and not the violence of the offender, that is responsible.
You blame the NRA and gun manufacturers for violent crime with guns and not the criminals that actually committed the crime.
You believe "Freedom of Speech" and agreeing with what is being said go hand-in-hand.
You believe everything wrong in the world is automatically Bush's fault and everything right in the world is automatically because of Clinton.
You believe other people should be forced to "share the wealth" but there should be an exemption for you.
You believe that being a Hollywood icon automatically means you are more "in tune" to world events than the leaders of the country.
You complain about the SUVs and other less-economical cars, yet you parade around in a 5-mile-per-gallon limo.
You believe that you can understand politics from Hollywood and activist celebrities without doing any research yourself.
You believe that the books "Tom Sawyer" and "The Diary of Anne Frank" should be banned from schools for being "racist" but you approve of "My Two Moms" as wholesome and acceptable reading material.
You believe every solution to every problem can be solved with bigger Government and another entitlement.
You believe people should be rewarded for laziness, but hard-working people should be taxed at ever increasing rates.
You frown upon self-reliance and independent thought preferring instead more dependency on government programs and total blind acceptance of Liberal ideas.
You believe convicted criminals and democratic politicians who screw up are worth understanding and forgiving but conservative politicians and religious people who speak their opinion should be banned from public service.
#883397 Apr 3, 2013
Horizontally or vertically ?
#883398 Apr 3, 2013
You believe that tolerance equals acceptance and anyone who does not accept a liberal cause is a racist or bigot.
You throw down the "race card" as a primary argument.
You believe in penalizing people that are rich and successful by increasing taxes to lower their standard of living in an attempt to "level the playing field".
You believe America is more of a terrorist state than any other country.
You believe terrorists and arsonists who burn down private property and harass businesses are noble but the troops who liberated Iraqis are war criminals.
You believe that violent protests and domestic terrorism are how you affect change in our country instead of voting.
You believe people are owed restitution for injuries inflicted on their long-dead ancestors.
You find charisma to be an appropriate replacement for honesty.
You believe Al Gore when he talks about Global Warming and you believe everything the movie "An Inconvenient Truth".
You believe joining the military is a disgraceful decision and worthless cause and is only for losers and uneducated people.
You claim to support the troops but refuse to support their mission.
You find flashy rhetoric to be a suitable substitute for sincerity.
You believe that the deliberate omissions of facts are not considered to be lying.
You believe that the mention of "God" in the "Pledge of Allegiance" is an un-Constitutional violation of the Separation of Church and State.
You simultaneously condemn America and its system while reaping the rewards.
You refuse to acknowledge any contributions to society that were not made by minorities.
You continue to trash America, claiming how horrible and evil it is, yet you refuse to leave.
You believe Yassar Arafat was deserving of the Nobel Peace Prize.
You believe guns in the hands of law-abiding citizens are more of a threat than nuclear weapons in the hands of a hate filled dictator.
You believe Ernesto "Che" Guevara to be a hero.
You believe that people should not have to be expected to take responsibility for their actions.
You believe that mothers who are drug addicts should be allowed to have children and to raise them while they are addicted.
You believe that Capitalism oppresses people and Socialism liberates people.
You believe that Socialism has not has a fair chance to succeed.
You believe the Government should provide "entitlement" programs, rather than expect people to earn what they want.
#883399 Apr 3, 2013
You refuse to lift a finger to save an unborn baby but will rush to the aid and defense of violent serial-felons on death row.
You believe teachers should not use the class-room to promote politics, unless the teacher is promoting anti-Conservative agendas, then it becomes a matter of "Free Speech".
You try to make excuses on behalf of terrorism.
You believe in choice except when it comes to retirement, schools, health care, and religious speech.
You believe Clinton was an "honest and virtuous man".
You believe that unwed teenage mothers should get a paycheck from the Government.
You ignore more than 50 years of medical warnings about tobacco use, but when you get cancer, the tobacco company is to blame.
You believe society "owes you a living".
You somehow believe that George Bush is more dangerous than Bin Laden, Saddam, Hitler, etc...
You believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and sex offender belongs in the White House.
You believe that the same teacher who cannot effectively teach 4th graders how to read, basic math skills, and history is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
You believe that heterosexuality is a learned behavior, but homosexuality is normal and natural.
You believe that there is no difference in men and women.
You believe that the United States signing the Kyoto Treaty will end Global Warming although you have made absolutely no attempt to actually read it yourself.
You somehow believe that a President who lied under oath, appeased fanatical dictators, and gave military technology to hostile regimes is somehow better for America than the present Administration.
You believe Bush is a genius who masterminded the 9/11 attack on America, yet is as dumb as a stump the rest of the time.
You want to legalize drugs but outlaw tobacco.
You want what you feel "you deserve", instead of what you earn.
You believe it is OK to be dishonest, if personal gain is at stake.
You can exaggerate the facts and make up fiction to prove your point.
You spew out your rhetoric, but have nothing to back it up.
#883400 Apr 3, 2013
Oh Heavens, ban them from EVER seeing some of the buildings in D.C. then too!
#883401 Apr 3, 2013
You believe that "truth" is irrelevant.
You believe that feelings and intentions are important when implementing social policy.
You believe the Corporations are evil, but Communism and dictatorships are "noble".
You believe the UN is an efficient governmental body.
You like to say that you fight discrimination and then you turn around and give "perks" simply based on race.
You believe the Kennedy Family was a "respectable family" but refer to George Bush as "Hitler".
You believe traits like honesty, integrity, and character are out-dated concepts.
You believe that the minority should have the right to force their will upon the majority.
You believe 1 white and 20 non-whites is "diversity".
You somehow believe taking guns away from honest citizens will reduce crime by violent offenders.
You somehow believe Saddam and Bin Laden are better for the world than President Bush.
You believe people should do what you say, but not what you do.
You preach "peace" and "love" and "non-violence" and "anti-gun laws" but appear in movies that glorify guns, explosives and twisting people's heads off with martial arts to win over the bad guys.
You ridicule Bush for landing on an aircraft carrier to boost morale and show his gratitude to the troops but you praise Clinton for using the military as a social program to force gays into the ranks and lowering moral.
You believe the "all Men are created equal" quotation in the Declaration Of Independence means that they are actually equal in ability as opposed to being equal in the eyes of the law and as citizens and no one should make a choice about anyone based on their actual abilities to perform.
You believe a person's sexual preference, or race, and not their ability to perform, should be the deciding factor in who-gets-what job.
You believe demanding respect is more important that actually doing something to earn it.
You believe that a welfare recipient actually "works hard" and "earns" a welfare check.
You believe the "right of the people to peaceably assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances" means breaking into military installations during wartime, stopping commerce, and breaking nudity laws are what the founding fathers meant.
You believe Conservatives should be held to a different and much higher standard than you are willing to meet, yourself.
You claim you are "offended" by Christianity, yet you still demand a paid holiday.
You claim you are "offended" by the holiday named "Christmas", and try to prevent any public acknowledgement of it and you demand to change the name to some non-descript name such as "Winter Solstice" or "Winter Festival".
You believe SUVs are supportive of terrorists, but houses with 10 car garages are A-OK.
You believe "choice" applies only to abortion.
#883402 Apr 3, 2013
You scream about our dependence on foreign oil, but refuse to allow us to tap into our own oil reserves.
You believe that drilling for oil is the same as destroying the environment.
You believe the word "unilateral" is defined as "without France, Germany, and Russia"...
You call Conservative millionaires "greedy", while calling Liberal millionaires "hard working", "creative", or "clever".
You refuse to acknowledge the details of the "Whitewater" land scandal and the involvement of Bill and Hillary Clinton.
You call President Bush a "stupid hick from the sticks" and the next day you refer to him as an "evil genius".
You believe that condoms and clean needles should be handed out at school, but Bibles must not be allowed.
You believe that Bill Clinton was impeached because of Monica Lewinsky performing oral sex on him in the White House.
You believe that racial quotas and set-asides are not racist in nature.
You believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
You refuse to wave or salute the American flag, because America has so many things wrong with it.
You believe since Clinton only "smoked and did not inhale" pot, it is OK.
You preach against racial and sexual bias, but turn around and endorse Affirmative Action.
You believe that boycotting a Conservative person and/or company is an example "Freedom of Choice" or "Freedom of Speech" but when Conservatives stand up against a Liberal entity, you refer to it as "McCarthyism".
You believe the Separation of Church and State means that religion should be banned from all aspects of life.
You begin every sentence with "I (or we) demand...".
You use expressions like "that poor guy," or "he couldn't help it" to describe a convicted murderer.
You have an "I am the victim" mentality and every day, milk it dry.
You believe Barbara Streisand really cares about the Iraqi children.
You believe Iraq was just a "War for Oil".
You believe Bin Laden is not really all that bad and is just "misunderstood".
You believe that the Jews stole land from the Palestinians.
You believe evangelical is a dirty word.
You believe the New York Times is a "beacon of truth", but Fox News is just a book of lies.
You believe Maureen Dowd should get the Nobel Prize for Journalism.
#883403 Apr 3, 2013
You complain that Fox News has a "Conservative bias", but say nothing about the far-to-the-Left Liberal bias of CNN, New York Times, BBC, etc...
You believe Senator Joseph McCarthy was "evil" but the American Commies he tried to expose within the State Dept were "heroic".
You believe Jimmy Carter handled Iran just fine.
You refer to President Bush as "Hitler" as your defense to any criticism on your stance or position.
You believe if a Conservative is under investigation, it should not matter whether or not the allegations are true or false, but should be totally based around the seriousness of the allegations.
You believe Jayson Blair is an honest and legitimate journalist.
You believe that rights of gays, lesbians, drag queens (or kings) should be forcibly recognized, but rights of Christians and Jews should be denied.
You believe that we can "spend our way out of the deficit" and "tax our way into prosperity".
You believe that no trees should be cut down, even if they are dead.
You believe that the government should tax every last bit of rich people's paycheck because they can afford the increased tax burden.
You believe that rich people are keeping others poor because they selfishly keep so much wealth for themselves.
You believe Hussein, Stalin, and Castro to be "noble" and you refer President Bush "evil".
You believe morals and integrity are not relevant and should not stand in the way of personal gain.
You keep calling it "Clinton's Army" and "Bush's economy".
You poke fun at the "cookie cutter houses" in the suburbs, yet live in the city in a giant brick building called an "apartment", no different from any other apartment building in the city.
You believe that it is better to have a President who would spend his Administration caving in to terrorist demands in a frenzy to please and appease them, rather than a President who would stand against them.
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