Barack Obama, our next President

Full story: Hampton Roads Daily Press

"The road ahead will be long. Our climb will be steep," Obama cautioned. Young and charismatic but with little experience on the national level, Obama smashed through racial barriers and easily defeated ...

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TheIndependentMa jority

Somerset, KY

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#831136
Dec 31, 2012
 

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CT

Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters. British sit-coms such as "Men Behaving Badly" or "Red Dwarf" will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who can't cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness.

You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", But only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.

You should stop playing American "football." There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest very twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US Rugby sevens side by 2005. You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called "rounders," which is baseball without fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.
TheIndependentMa jority

Somerset, KY

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#831137
Dec 31, 2012
 

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You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because we don't believe you are sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you will require a permit if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day."

All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you Understand the British sense of humour.

You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips. Fries aren't even French, they are Belgian though 97.85%of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called "crisps." Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat. Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.

As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself.

The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all, it is lager. From November 1st only proper British Bitter will be referred to as "beer," and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as "Lager." The substances formerly known as "American Beer" will henceforth be referred to as "Near-Frozen Knat's Urine," with the exception of the product of the American Budweiser company whose product will be referred to as "Weak Near-Frozen Knat's Urine." This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in Pilsen, Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.

From November 10th the UK will harmonise petrol or "gasoline," as you will be permitted to keep calling it until April 1st 2005) prices with the former USA. The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the former USA and the Former USA will, in return, adopt UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon - get used to it).

You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.

Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).

Thank you for your co-operation.
TheIndependentMa jority

Somerset, KY

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#831138
Dec 31, 2012
 

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(From last to first then!!)

To the citizens of the United States of America, in the light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy.

Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP, for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium." Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour', skipping the letter 'U' is nothing more than laziness on your part. Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters. You will end your love affair with the letter 'Z'(pronounced 'zed' not 'zee') and the suffix "ize" will be replaced by the suffix "ise." You will learn that the suffix 'burgh' is pronounced 'burra' e.g. Edinburgh. You are welcome to respell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you can't cope with correct pronunciation. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary."

Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed." There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn't have chat shows. When you learn to develop your vocabulary then you won't have to use bad language as often.

There is no such thing as "US English." We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of thereinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of "-ize."

You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to cockney, upper-class twit, or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents -- Scottish dramas such as "Taggart" will no longer be broadcast with subtitles. While we're talking about regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is "Devon." If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become "shires" e.g. Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire.

Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters. British sit-coms such as "Men Behaving Badly" or "Red Dwarf" will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who can't cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness.

You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", But only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.
TheIndependentMa jority

Somerset, KY

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#831139
Dec 31, 2012
 

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You should stop playing American "football." There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest very twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US Rugby sevens side by 2005. You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called "rounders," which is baseball without fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.

You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because we don't believe you are sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you will require a permit if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day."

All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you Understand the British sense of humour.

You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips. Fries aren't even French, they are Belgian though 97.85%of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called "crisps." Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat. Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.

As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself.

The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all, it is lager. From November 1st only proper British Bitter will be referred to as "beer," and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as "Lager." The substances formerly known as "American Beer" will henceforth be referred to as "Near-Frozen Knat's Urine," with the exception of the product of the American Budweiser company whose product will be referred to as "Weak Near-Frozen Knat's Urine." This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in Pilsen, Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.
TheIndependentMa jority

Somerset, KY

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#831140
Dec 31, 2012
 

Judged:

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From November 10th the UK will harmonise petrol or "gasoline," as you will be permitted to keep calling it until April 1st 2005) prices with the former USA. The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the former USA and the Former USA will, in return, adopt UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon - get used to it).

You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.

Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).

Thank you for your co-operation.

Since: Dec 12

Location hidden

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#831141
Dec 31, 2012
 

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DBWriter wrote:
<quoted text>
Percent of GDP....
I'm thinking you don't know the difference between GDP and GNP, and the Democrats changed the method of calculating the economy in the 60s to make the economy look better than what it was (is).
It's the government that raises the spending to GDP ratio. There isn't any low of economics that makes that happen. Some argue that, because government is actually an expense on the economy, constantly increasing the percentage of GDP the expense of government, there are inevitable corrections, the so-called "great recession" being just a naturally occurring event when government spending (consumption of capital, thus starving the economy of capital) continually increases.
The most logical thing to do when revenue decreases is decrease spending. Our government did the exact opposite. As a result, today the clowns in the White House are promoting expanding a government that is already beyond the ability of the economy to pay for.
You can't get more ignorant than that.
Really? You don't know that if either number in a ratio changes it changes the ratio? Are you really telling me and everybody else here you're that stupid?

I don't believe anybody could be that dumb and still start up their computer without hurting themselves, I think you're just so consumed by hatred for the colored fella in the WH that your reasoning skills are severely blunted.

“My Life Is A Shell Game”

Since: May 07

Lapeer, MI

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#831142
Dec 31, 2012
 

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Yeah wrote:
<quoted text>lol! Well gee son. If you're going to start lying and changing your source, it's clear that would make you a liar wouldn't it? Perhaps you've had an intelligence "glitch." Here, let me help you.....
http://www.topix.com/forum/us/politics/TI79GC...
What you claim you posted and what you actually posted seem to have forked off a while back.
Clearly, you've turned yourself into the jerk by... what was that term?.... oh, yet... "obfuscation!"
I love conservative idiots like you son!
My original post contained only information from http://www.thefreedictionary.com/Capitalism

How Dictionary.com got in there is anybody's guess but was probably an error in Copy-n-Pasting.

A clerical error in copying is unimportant. What *IS* important is your confused blathering about Freedom and Capitalism. Evey online dictionary mentions either Free Markets, Freedom or alludes to them by defining Capitalism in terms of private vs government control of goods and services.

Merriam-Webster - Capitalism: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/cap...

American Heritage - Capitalism: http://ahdictionary.com/word/search.html...

Oxford Dictionary - Capitalism: http://oxforddictionaries.com/definition/engl...

Now go sit on your thumb in the corner.
TheIndependentMa jority

Somerset, KY

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#831143
Dec 31, 2012
 

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(with one small edit-the citizens shall retain the Constitutional rights to SELF protection LOGICALLt, rather than extremely--and strike out Utah and edit to NEVEDA!!!)

May 2013 be MUCH improved form the past three years of nothing but SUCK(ing)!!!!!

“Constitutionalis t”

Since: Dec 10

Spring, TX

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#831144
Dec 31, 2012
 

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GhostofRaygun wrote:
<quoted text>It raises taxes on 100%. They only want the 2%top Rich to go back to the 1996 rates when America was growing 22 million new jobs.
Raising SOME of the rich taxes is "poison" to Repubs. But don't be too upset. Mitt and thousands more like him will still have their 15% tax rate.
.
How about this...
The first thing that needs to happen is the number of people paying taxes has to be increased. After the number of people paying taxes is increased, then we'll talk about changing the tax rates.
When half the population is paying all the taxes for the whole population, that system will not survive regardless of what system is being employed.
We need a flat tax. EVERYONE pays. No exceptions. No excuses.
Then, when everyone pays their fair share of what the government costs, we can come together as a united people. When half the country is mooching off the other half, there is no way those two halves will every unite.

“Seriously Misguided Democrat”

Since: Oct 12

Chicago Thugtown

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#831145
Dec 31, 2012
 

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OldRaider wrote:
<quoted text>
Most rational people recognize the need to separate church and state in a FREE society. Man made religions are set up to control the masses by claiming to interpret what they believe God wants them to do. God gave me the sense to avoid anyone who claims to speak for Him. All you have to do to see the way organized religion has been used a tool of evil is to read some history.
Morning fellow old goob. While I agree with what you said, you, in the typical cult of liberal fashion, did the propoganda thing like the NAZI's did and left out a few key facts.

Not all religions in all eras are as you say, lest you generalize which you libtards always say is wrong to do.

You socialist Jim Jones CULT members who call yourself Democrats today scare the hell out of many people because you are just as crazy and gullible as Germans in 1939. The tactics your party uses are similar to what Hitler and the SS used. They were very effective at using the media to distort the truth and spread propoganda. The Socialist Workers Party would be an excellent name for what you belong to.

The NAZI is just like you. They also removed religion from the party platform.

Zieg Hiel, dumb old follower. You are more of a fanatic than any religion you are knocking.

“Seriously Misguided Democrat”

Since: Oct 12

Chicago Thugtown

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#831146
Dec 31, 2012
 

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Death of Tenzing wrote:
<quoted text>
Really? You don't know that if either number in a ratio changes it changes the ratio? Are you really telling me and everybody else here you're that stupid?
I don't believe anybody could be that dumb and still start up their computer without hurting themselves, I think you're just so consumed by hatred for the colored fella in the WH that your reasoning skills are severely blunted.
Frikkin typical racist Democrat. There is a man in the White House, not a colored fella you dickwad.

“Constitutionalis t”

Since: Dec 10

Spring, TX

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#831148
Dec 31, 2012
 

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Yeah wrote:
<quoted text>lol! You mean like how cons took control in 2010 and we're still headed down that same path?
amazing!
Let's take a look at history.(Actual history, not the bullshit the liberals are indoctrinated with and regurgitating.)

Government spending:
2006 2.66 trillion
January, 2007 Democrats take control of all government spending
2007 (last year of Republican budget) 2.73 trillion
2008 (first year of Democrat budget) 2.98 trillion
2009 (no budget from Democrats for next 4 years) 3.52 trillion
2010 (Republicans take control of the House) 3.46 trillion

As you can see, the actual history (as indicated by the facts of history) are one hundred and eighty degrees from what you are indoctrinated to regurgitate.

In other words, you are a liar.

Since this information is available to everyone, why do you choose to be a liar?
Homer

Effort, PA

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#831149
Dec 31, 2012
 

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DBWriter wrote:
<quoted text>
How about this...
The first thing that needs to happen is the number of people paying taxes has to be increased. After the number of people paying taxes is increased, then we'll talk about changing the tax rates.
When half the population is paying all the taxes for the whole population, that system will not survive regardless of what system is being employed.
We need a flat tax. EVERYONE pays. No exceptions. No excuses.
Then, when everyone pays their fair share of what the government costs, we can come together as a united people. When half the country is mooching off the other half, there is no way those two halves will every unite.
I say let the Red states secede that will get rid of most of the dead weight.

“Constitutionalis t”

Since: Dec 10

Spring, TX

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#831150
Dec 31, 2012
 

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maddmaxx7 wrote:
The Facts About Tax Cuts, Revenue, and Growth
Michael T. Griffith
2010
@All Rights Reserved
Third Edition
In every case over the last 60 years, major tax cuts have more than paid for themselves. In fact, every major tax cut since JFK has been followed by substantial increases in revenue, not to mention solid economic growth. Moreover, total federal revenue rose at a faster rate after each of those tax cuts than it did before them. Anyone can confirm these basic facts for themselves by checking federal budget data and economic indicators before and after major tax cuts (see, for example, Federal Budget Data, Data 360 Unemployment U.S., and Total Economy Database). Let’s take a closer look at the results of the last four major tax cuts (and then for good measure we’ll examine the Mellon tax cuts of the 1920s).
Bush Tax Cuts: President George W. Bush’s 2003 tax cuts generated a massive increase in federal tax revenue and were followed by 52 consecutive months of economic growth. From 2004 to 2007, federal tax revenue increased by $780 billion, the largest four-year increase in American history. Total federal revenue from 2003 to 2007:
2003 --$1.78 trillion
2004 --$1.88 trillion
2005 --$2.15 trillion
2006 --$2.40 trillion
2007 --$2.56 trillion
What that revenue means is that more Americans are becoming more successful, thus wealthier.
This is diametrically opposed to the Democrats' plan to punish those who accomplish most. In their mind those who accomplish least should be rewarded.
sonicfilter

Indianapolis, IN

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Dec 31, 2012
 

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The GOP’s 1 Trillion Dollar Lie

How a right-wing whopper about the cost of welfare was born.

There's a new economic myth that's now being amplified by the conservative media. It demonizes vital public services and suggests that the poor are doing just fine thanks to the largesse of the country's “makers.” Conservatives are being told that the United States is now spending vast fortunes combatting poverty—more than we dedicate to national defense, Social Security and Medicare.

This new spin is notable not for its mendacity—although it is completely divorced from reality—but because its origins are easily traced, allowing us to see how these kinds of distortions come to be. This one originated with the work of an analyst at the Heritage Foundation who is well known for his intellectual dishonesty. It was then picked up by Republican staffers on Capitol Hill, who lent the claim credibility by requesting a Congressional Research Service report on the analysis. They then further distorted the narrative before distributing it to friendly writers at conservative media outlets, who dutifully reported the falsehood. It will soon become conventional wisdom on the Right, further distorting conservatives' view of taxes and spending.

http://www.inthesetimes.com/article/14343/gop...

Since: Dec 12

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#831152
Dec 31, 2012
 

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maddmaxx7 wrote:
The Facts About Tax Cuts, Revenue, and Growth
Michael T. Griffith
2010
@All Rights Reserved
Third Edition
In every case over the last 60 years, major tax cuts have more than paid for themselves. In fact, every major tax cut since JFK has been followed by substantial increases in revenue, not to mention solid economic growth. Moreover, total federal revenue rose at a faster rate after each of those tax cuts than it did before them. Anyone can confirm these basic facts for themselves by checking federal budget data and economic indicators before and after major tax cuts (see, for example, Federal Budget Data, Data 360 Unemployment U.S., and Total Economy Database). Let’s take a closer look at the results of the last four major tax cuts (and then for good measure we’ll examine the Mellon tax cuts of the 1920s).
Bush Tax Cuts: President George W. Bush’s 2003 tax cuts generated a massive increase in federal tax revenue and were followed by 52 consecutive months of economic growth. From 2004 to 2007, federal tax revenue increased by $780 billion, the largest four-year increase in American history. Total federal revenue from 2003 to 2007:
2003 --$1.78 trillion
2004 --$1.88 trillion
2005 --$2.15 trillion
2006 --$2.40 trillion
2007 --$2.56 trillion
Didn't this raise any red flags?

"the largest four-year increase in American history." Since its given in $ value? Wouldn't you say "Of course, with inflation EVERY successive 4 year period will be "the largest four-year increase in American history."

So, let's look at the percent increases. The percentage increase in revenue for every 4-year budget period since 1982:

1982-1985 - 20.2%(Reagan tax cuts)
1986-1989 - 35%
1990-1993 - 16.5%(Bush tax hikes)
1994-1997 - 36.8%(Clinton tax hikes)
1998-2001 - 26%
2002-2005 - 8.2%(W Bush tax cuts)
2006-2009 - 2.3%

Do the math yourself:

Table 1.1
http://www.whitehouse.gov/omb/budget/Historic...
sonicfilter

Indianapolis, IN

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#831153
Dec 31, 2012
 

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New Year, New Low for Republicans

In the new Congress, the Republicans will find themselves on the wrong side of other high-profile issues, ranging from gun control to immigration reform to same-sex marriage, as well as protecting Social Security and Medicare from cuts that are less about "saving" these programs than about saving tax breaks for the rich.

On all these issues, there is no question that President Obama will be on the right side of public opinion. The only question is whether he will lead public opinion.

Over the pre-New Years weekend, President Obama was sounding like a partisan, albeit a reluctant one. He should not be so reluctant. A radical, obstructionist, and dysfunctional Republican opposition in the House and Senate stands between the country and the policies that the economy needs and that the majority of Americans want.

The president was right to call the Republicans on taxes. As the New Year wears on, he should do the same on gun control, immigration reform, and gay and lesbian rights.

Obama wanted to be the president who would change the tone in Washington, meaning a more collaborative relationship with the Republicans. That was not to be. The Republicans would not allow it. Now, history invites Obama to change the tone in Washington by dispatching an extremist Republican Party to the far fringes of public discourse where it belongs.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/robert-kuttner/...

“Constitutionalis t”

Since: Dec 10

Spring, TX

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#831154
Dec 31, 2012
 

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Homer wrote:
<quoted text>I say let the Red states secede that will get rid of most of the dead weight.
So, now, oil and food are dead weight....

We'll take capitalism and the Constitution. You can have your Marxist dictatorship and unions. Good luck building an economy around that.
There's a reason staunch union states like Wisconsin and Michigan are giving unions a boot up their ass on the way out the door.
And, there's a reason unions had to become more than half government workers for them to survive.
And, without unions, we'll be able to export Twinkies to you.))))

Since: Dec 12

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#831155
Dec 31, 2012
 

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John Galt wrote:
<quoted text>
If you are a billionaire it's a lot easier to dismiss higher taxes than if you are earning $250K by working 80 hours a week while trying to pay college tuition for your children.
If you're earning $250k paying college tuition for your kids your rate wouldn't go up and you know that.
Realtime

Deltona, FL

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#831157
Dec 31, 2012
 

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Homer wrote:
<quoted text>I say let the Red states secede that will get rid of most of the dead weight.
Except for Idaho, that's where the good hops come from.

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