Dis man..I remember when I was a little boy and my dad used to bounce me on his knee out in the oilfields... well, it wasn't his "knee" actually, but all the dads did it and today was Friday so I was "up" so to speak. Ha ha ha, good times, good times.
I left the oilfields when my ass finally got as big as a barrel. Sometimes I'd need two, three of the other dad's to fill the void.
I got a job in a bullet factory sizing 200 mm mortar shells. My job was to just squat over each shell, sit directly down on it, and neck the mouth down with a hard squeeze. It was easy work and I'd been trained in the oilfields so they knew I knew what I was doing. I could turn out 3,000 or 4,000 shells a day to a gnat's ass tolerance.
One day I came into work and there she was: the woman of my dreams. Up until that point I'd never seen a vagina but there Beth was neckin' a 300 mm with her ass and a 500 mm with her fanny. What a woman!
We fell in love and decided after a few years we'd start a business: Bung Bandit's Bullet Squeezers. We never looked back. Well, we did but it was a mess back there.
Er...woman...cuckoo! Because of 'it' I write million selling book on sexual weirdos....