You might be a conservative if:<quoted text>
You may be a liberal if:.
you believe portraying Bush as the Joker is political satire, but portraying Obama as the Joker is racist.
You believe that Pro-Life violates right of privacy, but its okay to tell people they shouldn't eat French Fries.
You believe banning assault weapons is the solution to end crime
You spend your day telling people that a border fence can't work, then drive home to your gated community.
You believe that hurricanes are caused by people, and that crime is caused by the environment.
You think Anita Hill was telling the truth about Clarence Thomas, but Gennifer Flowers, Paula Jones, Linda Tripp, Dolly Kyle Browning, Sally Perdue, Kathleen Willey, and Juanita Broaddrick were all lying about the Clintons.
You think you might remember laughing once as a child.
You scream Dit Dit Ditto while making love.
You use any of these terms to describe your wife, old ball and chain, little woman, old lady, or tax credit.
You confuse Lenin with Lennon.
You own a vehicle with a Ollie North American Hero sticker.
You don't think the Simpsons is all that funny, but you watch it because that Flanders fellow makes a lot of sense.