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“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#1 Nov 5, 2012
DEAR ABBY: I work in a cubicle in close proximity to my co-workers. I can't help but hear everything. A co-worker who sits next to me is driving me crazy. She spells her name wrong to customers every day, 20 times a day. She also makes seductive moans during the day. I almost want to peek over the cubicle to see what she's doing.

When I have mentioned to her that perhaps she must spell her name so often to customers because she's spelling it wrong in the first place, her retort is, "No, I don't!" Everyone in the office can hear her, too. They think it's funny.

Abby, she's making me crazy. Should I record her for a few hours and play it back? Unless I do, she won't believe she does it. By the end of the week, I can hardly speak to her. Please help.-- TORTURED IN ORANGE, CALIF.

DEAR TORTURED: Although your co-worker may seem to spell her name wrong to you, there are variations on the spelling of many names (i.e., Jeannie-Jeanne, Shari-Sherry-Cheri, Brian-Bryan, Steven-Stephen). The spelling of someone's name is usually determined by one's parents -- so lighten up.

Your co-worker may be unaware that she makes these sounds. Instead of criticizing her, perhaps you should mention this to her. I don't think you need to make any recordings.

If the noise is distracting others in the office, a group of you should approach a supervisor about it. If not, then I'd recommend earphones for you.

DEAR ABBY: I'm sure I speak for hairstylists all over the country who style hair for our dearly departed. It is the last time their family will see them, so it is very important that it looks "just right." Please bring us a picture of your loved one that was taken within the last few years, not one from 20 or 30 years ago.(Yes, Abby, it happens all the time.)

Also, please describe how the deceased wore their hair if the picture has a pompadour and the person has a short bob. It's really frustrating! If you would take snapshots of your loved ones occasionally, I wouldn't have to wonder what Mom looked like.-- SANDY THE HAIRSTYLIST

DEAR SANDY: Obviously, this is something that families don't always consider when they are grieving. Thank you for the heads-up.

DEAR ABBY: Can a man be too good to a woman? I dated this fantastic lady for four years. We made a commitment to be true to each other. She broke up with me. Her reason? She said I treated her too well.

We were good to each other. We never had a disagreement. We went on several trips together. I love her so much. How can a person be too good to the one he loves?-- BEGGING FOR ANSWERS IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR BEGGING: If a woman is used to abusive relationships, she may find being treated well not "exciting" enough. This usually happens when the person confuses love with feelings of anxiety and pain. Others can't resist a "challenge" and find stress-free relationships boring.

I'm sorry you are hurting, but please understand that you may have dodged a bullet. Once you accept it, you can move on.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#2 Nov 5, 2012
LW1: "When I have mentioned to her that perhaps she must spell her name so often to customers because she's spelling it wrong in the first place"
That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

You sound like a moron who expects to work in complete silence. When you work in a cubicle farm, that ain't happening. YOU need to adapt.

LW2: People get hairstylists for dead people? WTF?

LW3: So start being a dick in your next relationship. See if that works out any better.

Since: Oct 09

Wagner, SD

#3 Nov 5, 2012
LW1: Oh, good grief. And just HOW do YOU know that she's spelling her name wrong? How do YOU know exactly how she spells it? There are so many variations on so many even common names now that you can never be sure. Were you present when she was born and her birth certificate was signed? No? Then STFU already and concentrate on your OWN work.

You remind me of the tattletales at school whenever I sub for the day, the kids who ALWAYS have to be running up to tell you what so-and-so is doing wrong instead of focusing on their own work. Sheesh. I guess you're what happens to these kids when they grow up.

L2: Blahblahblah. Yes, because the first thing people will think of when suffering a loss and grieving over it is getting a picture of how their hair looks the way they want it. Uh-huh.

L3: I somehow doubt the situation is as you present it. And the words "we never had a disagreement" are a huge, giant, red flag. Even the best of couples will have disagreements; having a good marriage or relationship does NOT mean that you NEVER disagree. It means that you've learned how to discuss and work through such disagreements respectfully. What you are likely saying between the lines is that you glossed over any problems and disagreements and swept them under the rug instead of actually talking about and working through them.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#4 Nov 5, 2012
1 If she is moaning, she must be having a pretty good day. Maybe you should get yourself some of that.

2 Hey Mom! Look over here, I want to capture your picture for the mortician!

3 Yes you can be too good to her, it's called BORING!

Since: Oct 09

Wagner, SD

#5 Nov 5, 2012
Mister Tonka wrote:
LW1: "When I have mentioned to her that perhaps she must spell her name so often to customers because she's spelling it wrong in the first place"
That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
You sound like a moron who expects to work in complete silence. When you work in a cubicle farm, that ain't happening. YOU need to adapt.
LW2: People get hairstylists for dead people? WTF?
Bingo on the first one. I can't stand working with people like that, every single thing bothers them and they have to let you and the doofs at HR know about it all the time.

As for the hairstylists, I think what the LW is referring to are the people employed by funeral homes whose job it is to "fix up" the body; makeup, hair, etc. It's very commonplace.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#6 Nov 5, 2012
Mister Tonka wrote:
LW2: People get hairstylists for dead people? WTF?
Yes. And makeup artists.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#7 Nov 5, 2012
LW1: Invest in a pair of headphones. <gets on knees and thanks FSM that I have my own office with a door>

LW3: I think that is code for you arenít exciting enough for her and have no edge.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#8 Nov 5, 2012
L1: You're incredibly annoying.

L2: Boring.

L3: She was cheating on you.
pde

Homer Glen, IL

#9 Nov 5, 2012
Judge Janie wrote:
LW1: Oh, good grief. And just HOW do YOU know that she's spelling her name wrong? How do YOU know exactly how she spells it? There are so many variations on so many even common names now that you can never be sure. Were you present when she was born and her birth certificate was signed? No? Then STFU already and concentrate on your OWN work.
What I figure is that the company directory has it wrong, and the coworker has never been able to get it corrected.

My first name has two spellings--the first, being the traditional spelling of it, and the second a variation that was popularized during the 1970s. So, most people my age have it spelled as the variation, while my mom gave me the traditional.

My current company has it right in the directory. They are the first company where I didn't have to go through h3!! to get it spelled correctly. And it IS correct on my SSN card and all the other documents you have to supply to HR. Someone just either always enters it wrong or "corrects" it.

Since: Mar 09

Miami, FL

#10 Nov 5, 2012
L1: WTF? You don't get to decide that someone else is spelling their own name wrong.

L2: Yet another reason to be harvested for organs and then incinerated.

L3: That sounds like another way of saying "it's not you, it's me." You probably are a boring doormat, and it's not about treating someone "too well" - it's about having ideas and opinions of your own and being fun.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#11 Nov 5, 2012
LW1: I'm seeing this happening at a phone sales place, where the employees are already wearing headphones - to talk on the phone. I can't imagine how irritating and confusing it would be to have a ipod going in one ear and a phone conversation going on in the other. Perhaps get some desk speakers instead.

And if there's some discrepancy with the spelling of her name, why don't you be a adult and ask her how *she* spells her name. I have a commonly misspelled name too and I appreciate when someone takes the time to find out how *I* spell it.

LW2: You're supposed to be the hair expert, so do your effing job already!

LW3: Yeah, yeah, it's not you, it's her. <eyeroll>

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#12 Nov 5, 2012
Sublime1 wrote:
LW1: Invest in a pair of headphones. <gets on knees and thanks FSM that I have my own office with a door>
LW3: I think that is code for you arenít exciting enough for her and have no edge.
Cute pic, Sub! A handsome bunch of young men you have there.

Since: Oct 09

Wagner, SD

#13 Nov 5, 2012
pde wrote:
<quoted text>
What I figure is that the company directory has it wrong, and the coworker has never been able to get it corrected.
My first name has two spellings--the first, being the traditional spelling of it, and the second a variation that was popularized during the 1970s. So, most people my age have it spelled as the variation, while my mom gave me the traditional.
My current company has it right in the directory. They are the first company where I didn't have to go through h3!! to get it spelled correctly. And it IS correct on my SSN card and all the other documents you have to supply to HR. Someone just either always enters it wrong or "corrects" it.
You're probably right about the company directory. That's one reason why I decided to give my son the traditional spelling of his very common name instead of the cutesy "trendy" spelling that was all the rage 21 years ago when he was born. What amazes me are the people who think they know better than you do how to spell YOUR name and who can't seem to handle it when it's spelled differently.

My mom did this with my stepmom's name all the time. She has a name that was fairly common in the forties, when she was born (but which is pretty old-fashioned and rarely heard now), but her parents spelled it just one letter differently. Every time I addressed a note or gift tag to her, my mother would insist that I was spelling it wrong and would "correct" it. Never mind that she was told four million times that it was, indeed, correct. SHE knew better, therefore that was the way it was.
pde

Homer Glen, IL

#14 Nov 5, 2012
Judge Janie wrote:
<quoted text>
You're probably right about the company directory. That's one reason why I decided to give my son the traditional spelling of his very common name instead of the cutesy "trendy" spelling that was all the rage 21 years ago when he was born. What amazes me are the people who think they know better than you do how to spell YOUR name and who can't seem to handle it when it's spelled differently.
We gave my son the traditional spelling of his name--and I didn't even know there was a NON-traditional spelling--then one year after his birth, a sports player with the non-traditional spelling became popular.

Guess which spelling most people tend to try to force on him nowadays?

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#15 Nov 5, 2012
squishymama wrote:
<quoted text>
Cute pic, Sub! A handsome bunch of young men you have there.
Hey, thanks! Growing like weeds.

Since: Oct 09

Wagner, SD

#16 Nov 5, 2012
pde wrote:
<quoted text>
We gave my son the traditional spelling of his name--and I didn't even know there was a NON-traditional spelling--then one year after his birth, a sports player with the non-traditional spelling became popular.
Guess which spelling most people tend to try to force on him nowadays?
See, I don't get that. I don't get why people try to force a particular spelling on someone when it's not their spelling. It amazes me how bent out of shape people get about the stupidest things that aren't even their business, but are the personal business of others. Then again, we have politicians nowadays sticking their noses into the personal lives and business of others (mainly women, frankly), so I guess that shouldn't be too surprising.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#17 Nov 5, 2012
pde wrote:
<quoted text>
We gave my son the traditional spelling of his name--and I didn't even know there was a NON-traditional spelling--then one year after his birth, a sports player with the non-traditional spelling became popular.
Guess which spelling most people tend to try to force on him nowadays?
My real first and last names have one traditional spelling and people still fudge it up. Really? You can't get more phoenetic.

Maiden name has a couple different spellings so I get that.
pde

Homer Glen, IL

#18 Nov 5, 2012
Judge Janie wrote:
<quoted text>
See, I don't get that. I don't get why people try to force a particular spelling on someone when it's not their spelling. It amazes me how bent out of shape people get about the stupidest things that aren't even their business, but are the personal business of others.
My kindergarten teacher spent months "correcting" my name to the variant spelling (oh, and insisting on pronouncing my name incorrectly to boot). She also liked to lecture me on how I was doing it wrong. And then she also went crazy-lady on my mom when she finally decided to come in and try to explain to her that she was doing it wrong.

This is why when I see my son's misspelled, I step right in and make sure it's correctly asap. Either it was just a mistake and quickly fixed, or it's someone who has decided that he or she knows better and is quite possibly willing to terrorize a little kid in order to enforce their view of the world.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#19 Nov 5, 2012
pde wrote:
<quoted text>
We gave my son the traditional spelling of his name--and I didn't even know there was a NON-traditional spelling--then one year after his birth, a sports player with the non-traditional spelling became popular.
Guess which spelling most people tend to try to force on him nowadays?
We didn't name my son after anyone, but we used tv shows, movies, sports, baby books, etc to get ideas. The name we chose was a character on a show my wife liked. Its not an uncommon name, but I really never knew anyone with that name and there was only one celebrity that I knew of with that name. Both the celebrity and the tv character spelled it one way. The only way I'd ever seen it spelled. I sent out an email announcement of his birth. And from day one, even in response to that email, people started spelling his name wrong. Since that time, I have seen that alternate spelling a whoe lot more than the one we chose, not just from people we know, but if you look at an article showing the top 100 baby names of the year, inevitably, the WRONG spelling is on the list.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#20 Nov 5, 2012
pde wrote:
<quoted text>
My kindergarten teacher spent months "correcting" my name to the variant spelling (oh, and insisting on pronouncing my name incorrectly to boot). She also liked to lecture me on how I was doing it wrong. And then she also went crazy-lady on my mom when she finally decided to come in and try to explain to her that she was doing it wrong.
This is why when I see my son's misspelled, I step right in and make sure it's correctly asap. Either it was just a mistake and quickly fixed, or it's someone who has decided that he or she knows better and is quite possibly willing to terrorize a little kid in order to enforce their view of the world.
Heh. I remember a girl in grade school who's name was Lisa. Then at soem point, she decided she wanted to be unique and began spelling it Lysa. Not sure how long that nonsense lasted.

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